Autobiographical Memories for Seeing Romantic Movies on a Date: Romance Is Not Just for Women

Two autobiographical memory studies were conducted to better understand the social experience and memory for watching romantic movies on a date. In both studies, participants were primarily middle-class, White, young adults, who (a) recalled the experience of watching a romantic movie they had seen on a date and (b) were assessed for levels of sex-role traditionality and 4 kinds of dispositional empathy. Participants also reported with whom they watched the movie, who chose it, and the cognitions and emotions experienced during viewing. Finally, a fantasy measure asked participants to choose the types of scenes in which they and their dates might like to "stand in" for a character in the film. Results indicated that women more often than men selected the movie and liked it more, but, despite common stereotypes, men also reported favorable ratings for romantic movies seen on a date. However, both men and women thought that "most men" would not like the movie. On the fantasy measure, women underestimated men's preference for appearing in scenes of romance. For multiple measures, participants fell back on gender stereotyping when estimating what people in general, especially men, would like. Study 2 replicated Study 1 (N = 265) with a sample of 45 dating couples.     

The Contingencies of Interpersonal Acceptance: When Romantic Relationships Function as a Self-Affirmational Resource

Existing research suggests that people with high, but not low, self-esteem use their dating partners' love and acceptance as a resource for self-affirmation when faced with personal shortcomings. The present research examines the role that perceived contingencies of acceptance play in mediating these effects. In Experiment 1, we activated either conditional or unconditional working models and then gave experimental participants failure feedback on an intelligence test. In Experiment 2, we activated thoughts of rejection (or control thoughts) and then gave experimental participants feedback suggesting that their romantic partners would discover their secret sides. Experiment 1 revealed that low and high self-esteem women both embellished their partners' love and acceptance to compensate for self-doubt when the unconditional audience was primed. When rejection was primed in Experiment 2, however, high self-esteem men reacted to the self-threat by doubting their partners' love. These findings suggest that people with low self-esteem may not typically use their relationships to self-affirm because contingencies linking failure to rejection and acceptance to success are chronically accessible in their interpersonal schemas.     

Recovering from conflict in romantic relationships: a developmental perspective

This study adopted a developmental perspective on recovery from conflict in romantic relationships. Participants were 73 young adults (target participants), studied since birth, and their romantic partners. A novel observational coding scheme was used to evaluate each participant's degree of conflict recovery, operationalized as the extent to which the participant disengaged from conflict during a 4-min "cool-down" task immediately following a 10-min conflict discussion. Conflict recovery was systematically associated with developmental and dyadic processes. Targets who were rated as securely attached more times in infancy recovered from conflict better, as did their romantic partners. Concurrently, having a romantic partner who displayed better recovery predicted more positive relationship emotions and greater relationship satisfaction. Prospectively, target participants' early attachment security and their partners' degree of conflict recovery interacted to predict relationship stability 2 years later, such that having a partner who recovered from conflict better buffered targets with insecure histories.     

Rejection sensitivity and male violence in romantic relationships

Rejection sensitivity is the disposition to anxiously expect, readily perceive, and intensely react to rejection by significant others. A model of the role of this disposition in male violence toward romantic partners is proposed. Specifically, it is proposed that rejection sensitivity is a vulnerability factor for two distinct maladaptive styles of coping with intimate relationships. Rejection‐sensitive men may attempt to prevent anticipated rejection by reducing their investment in intimate relationships. Alternatively, they may become highly invested in intimate relationships in search of an unconditionally supportive partner. Their low threshold for perceiving and overreacting to rejection, however, heightens their risk of responding aggressively to their partners’negative or ambiguous behavior. Cross‐sectional data from 217 male college students supported predictions derived from the model. Among college men who reported relatively high investment in romantic relationships, anxious expectations of rejection predicted dating violence. Among men who reported relatively low investment in romantic relationships, anxious expectations of rejection predicted reduced involvement in discretionary close relationships with friends and romantic partners and, more generally, increased distress in and avoidance of social situations.     

Automatic accommodation: The role of personality

The current study tested whether agreeableness, conscientiousness, and attachment styles would be associated with automatic accommodation in dating relationships. Accommodation refers to the tendency to respond to a romantic partner’s potentially destructive relationship act by inhibiting one’s own negative impulses and replacing them with a relatively deliberate, relationship enhancing act. Sixty‐five young adult participants from a Canadian university participated online. Participants selected either constructive or destructive responses to hypothetical negative behaviors their partner enacted either under time pressure or normally. Results showed that the difference in level of accommodation between participants high and low in agreeableness and avoidance became even greater under time pressure, suggesting that for some people, accommodation may in fact be more automatic.     

Direct and Indirect Aggression: Relationships as Social Context

The studies reported in this paper examined the effect of social context—target gender and target relationship—on reports of direct and indirect aggression. In Study 1, participants completed the Richardson Conflict Response Questionnaire (RCRQ; Richardson & Green, 2003 ), which measured their direct and indirect aggression behavior in response to anger. Participants also selected a relationship partner to complete the RCRQ with reference to their own (i.e., participants') behavior. In Study 2, participants completed the RCRQ with reference to their behavior in response to anger with a romantic partner, a same-sex friend, and an opposite-sex friend. In both studies, relationship with aggression target was an important determinant of aggression, with more direct aggression occurring in romantic relationships, and more indirect aggression occurring in friendship relationships.     

Resilience in the face of romantic rejection: The automatic impulse to trust

Can heeding the automatic impulse to trust one's romantic partner increase physical and psychological resilience in the face of doubts about a partner's responsiveness? Experimental participants were led to believe that their partner perceived a long list of faults in them. All participants then gave a speech about their future career goals while their partner watched. The results revealed impulsive trust (i.e., evaluative associations to the partner on the Implicit Associations Test) increased resilience to partner-criticism for people who heed their automatic impulses (i.e., low in working memory capacity). Specifically, for people low in working memory capacity and high in impulsive trust, partner-criticism increased resilience relative to control participants (i.e., expecting a more approving partner reaction to their speech, cardiovascular reactivity consistent with a positive challenge response). In contrast, for people low in working memory capacity and low in impulsive trust, partner-criticism decreased resilience relative to control participants (i.e., expecting a more disapproving partner reaction, cardiovascular reactivity consistent with a negative threat response).     

Putting the partner within reach: a dyadic perspective on felt security in close relationships

The authors argue that felt insecurity in a partner's positive regard and caring stems from a specifically dyadic perception--the perception that a partner is out of one's league. A cross-sectional sample of dating couples revealed that people with low self-esteem feel inferior to their partner and that such feelings of relative inferiority undermine felt security in the partner's regard. Three experiments examined the consequences of reducing such perceived discrepancies by pointing to either strengths in the self or flaws in the partner. Low, but not high, self-esteem participants reacted to new strengths in the self or faults in the partner by reporting greater felt security in their specific partner's positive regard and commitment and more positive, general feelings about their own interpersonal worth. Thus, putting the partner more within the psychological grasp of low self-esteem people may effectively increase felt security in the partner's regard.     

What do men and women want in a partner? Are educated partners always more desirable?

Previous research has shown that males value a potential partner’s physical attractiveness more than females do, whereas females value a potential partner’s socioeconomic status (SES) more than males do. But are men really so unconcerned about a potential partner’s SES? Five studies revealed that men do integrate information about a woman’s SES into their decisions on whether to consider her as a romantic partner or not. Results consistently demonstrated that male participants preferred women with lower SES. Female participants, in contrast, preferred men with higher SES. These sex differences were more pronounced when a long-term romantic relationship rather than a one-night stand was being considered. In addition, men’s lower reported likelihood of romantic contact with a woman with high SES was due to her high educational level rather than her high income. Mediational analyses showed that men perceived a potential partner with high educational level as less likeable and less faithful, and thus reported less likelihood of romantic contact.     

Intimacy, identity and status: Measuring dating goals in late adolescence and emerging adulthood

Individuals?? goals can direct their own social behavior and development. We extended and validated a social dating goals measure (SDGS-R) to assess identity, intimacy and status goals, and compared goals by age, gender, sexual orientation and romantic status. Participants were 121 adolescents and 249 emerging adults (age M?=?20.6). The expected 3-factor structure of the SDGS-R was found and confirmed (18 items). Identity, intimacy and status goals had small correlations with each other and analyses validated the meaning and uniqueness of each goal. Participants reported more identity and intimacy goals than status goals. Intimacy goals were more prominent among older compared to teenage participants and those with a partner rather than without one. Females reported more identity dating goals than males. There was no difference in the goals of same-sex and other-sex attracted youth. The availability of the SDGS-R will allow further study of romantic development and relationship functioning.     

Discounting input from older adults: the role of age salience on partner age effects in the social contagion of memory

Three experiments examined the impact of partner age on the magnitude of socially suggested false memories. Young participants recalled household scenes in collaboration with an implied young or older adult partner who intentionally recalled false items. In Experiment 1, participants were presented with only the age of their partner (low age-salience context); in Experiment 2, participants were presented with the age of their partner along with a photograph and biographical information about their partner (high age-salience context); in Experiment 3, age salience was varied within the same experiment. Across experiments, participants in both the low age-salience and high age-salience contexts incorporated their partners’ misleading suggestions into their own subsequent recall and recognition reports, thus demonstrating social contagion with implied partners. Importantly, the effect of partner age differed across conditions. Participants in the high age-salience context were less likely to incorporate misleading suggestions from older adult partners than from young adult partners, but participants in the low age-salience context were equally likely to incorporate suggestions from young and older adult partners. Participants discount the memory of older adult partners only when age is highly salient.     

Implicit partner affect, relationship satisfaction, and the prediction of romantic breakup

The current research investigated the role of spontaneous partner feelings (implicit partner affect) in the dynamics of relationship satisfaction, commitment, and romantic dissolution. Participants completed a variant of the name-letter task as a measure of implicit partner affect, and self-report measures of relationship satisfaction and commitment. Approximately 4 months later, participants were contacted to assess their current relationship status. Overall, participants showed a biased preference for their partner’s initials (after adjusting for proper baselines), indicating the presence of positive implicit partner affect. Participants with more positive implicit partner affect were more satisfied with, but not more committed to, their relationship. Additionally, implicit partner affect exerted a significant indirect effect on relationship stability. These effects were independent of relationship length, age, and gender. Implications for the role of automatic affective processes in relationship processes and the utility of indirect measures for shedding light on relationship dynamics are discussed.     

When partner caring leads to sharing: Partner responsiveness increases expressivity, but only for individuals with low self-esteem

Two studies examined whether perceiving a partner as responsive leads people to be more expressive with that partner, and whether the effects of perceived partner responsiveness on expressivity are moderated by self-esteem. In Study 1, female undergraduates with high or low self-esteem disclosed to a fictitious partner about a sad event. Participants either received an understanding, caring, and validating written response from their ostensible partner or did not receive a response. In Study 2, participants wrote an email, supposedly to another participant, about a sad event and received either a highly responsive or a non-responsive email response. In both studies, partner responsiveness increased expressivity among individuals with low self-esteem but not among individuals with high self-esteem. These results provide the first experimental evidence for Reis and Shaver's (1988) theorizing about responsiveness and self-disclosure.     

Behavior expectations in cross‐sex friendships,same‐sex friendships,and romantic relationships

Abstract In 2 studies, university students from the United States rated the importance of 43 behavior expectations about their cross‐sex friends, same‐sex friends and romantic partners. In Study 1, all 399 participants had a current romantic partner, whereas in Study 2, romantic partner status varied across the 165 participants. Participants always rated their expectations for romantic partners higher than for either type of friend, and expectations for behaviors promoting emotional closeness were always rated higher than expectations about behaviors promoting social companionship or relationship positivity. In Study 2, expectations for cross‐sex friends were rated lower and more similar to same‐sex friends when participants had a current romantic partner than when they did not.     

When and why do ideal partner preferences affect the process of initiating and maintaining romantic relationships?

Three studies explored how the traits that people ideally desire in a romantic partner, or ideal partner preferences, intersect with the process of romantic relationship initiation and maintenance. Two attraction experiments in the laboratory found that, when participants evaluated a potential romantic partner's written profile, they expressed more romantic interest in a partner whose traits were manipulated to match (vs. mismatch) their idiosyncratic ideals. However, after a live interaction with the partner, the match vs. mismatch manipulation was no longer associated with romantic interest. This pattern appeared to have emerged because participants reinterpreted the meaning of the traits as they applied to the partner, a context effect predicted by classic models of person perception (S. E. Asch, 1946). Finally, a longitudinal study of middle-aged adults demonstrated that participants evaluated a current romantic partner (but not a partner who was merely desired) more positively to the extent that the partner matched their overall pattern of ideals across several traits; the match in level of ideals (i.e., high vs. low ratings) was not relevant to participants' evaluations. In general, the match between ideals and a partner's traits may predict relational outcomes when participants are learning about a partner in the abstract and when they are actually in a relationship with the partner, but not when considering potential dating partners they have met in person.     

For better and for worse: everyday social comparisons between romantic partners

The authors examined the frequency, direction, and impact of social comparisons between romantic partners. Comparisons were expected to occur on a daily basis, owing to regular interactions between partners. To the extent that one empathizes and shares outcomes with one's partner, one might respond more positively to upward than to downward comparisons. Study 1a was an experience-sampling study in which participants reported comparisons made to their spouse over 2 weeks. Study 1b examined reactions to the most significant comparisons made during the experience-sampling study. Participants reported making comparisons to their romantic partner more than once a day on average and experienced more positive responses to upward than to downward comparisons. Study 2 demonstrated that participants empathized and shared outcomes with their partner to a greater extent than with a friend. Study 3 confirmed that participants responded more positively to upward than to downward comparisons even for domains high in self-relevance and even when the comparison had negative self-evaluative implications. These results suggest that, owing to higher levels of empathy and shared fate with partners, comparisons function differently in romantic than in other relationships.     

When rejection stings: how self-esteem constrains relationship-enhancement processes

Three experiments examined how needs for acceptance might constrain low versus high self-esteem people's capacity to protect their relationships in the face of difficulties. The authors led participants to believe that their partner perceived a problem in their relationship. They then measured perceptions of the partner's acceptance, partner enhancement, and closeness. Low but not high self-esteem participants read too much into problems, seeing them as a sign that their partner's affections and commitment might be waning. They then derogated their partner and reduced closeness. Being less sensitive to rejection, however, high self-esteem participants affirmed their partner in the face of threat. Ironically, chronic needs for acceptance may result in low self-esteem people seeing signs of rejection where none exist, needlessly weakening attachments.     

The renegotiation of social identities in response to a threat to self-evaluation maintenance

Two experiments examine the strategic re-negotiation of social identities as a method of alleviating threats to self-evaluation. Participants were given a partner who shared one, and had one non-shared identity. After completing a self-relevant or non-self-relevant task, participants received either no feedback or learned that they had performed poorly compared to the partner. Participants showed identity distancing in response to being outperformed on a self-relevant task, but affiliation in response to being outperformed on a non-self-relevant task. This effect was reversed when participants were given the opportunity to self-affirm after the feedback. Overall, the results provide evidence that individuals are quite adept at altering their self-categorizations and that self-evaluation serves an important role in identity selection. Results are discussed in relation to the substitutability of self-esteem maintenance mechanisms and self-definition.