Applying Theories of Communal Motivation to Sexuality

One important but challenging aspect of maintaining a satisfying romantic relationship is keeping the sexual spark alive. Research suggests the importance of a couple's sexual connection in the maintenance of their relationship, but sustaining high levels of desire for a partner over the course of time can be difficult. In the current review, we argue that one novel approach to understanding how couples might maintain desire and satisfaction over the course of time in their relationships is applying theories of communal motivation to the domain of sexuality. In this line of research, we have demonstrated that people high in sexual communal strength – those who are motivated to be non‐contingently responsive to their partners' sexual needs – are able to sustain higher sexual desire over the course of time and navigate sexual disagreements in a way that maintains both partners' relationship quality. Future research directions include broadening the view of sexual needs to include the need to decline or reject a partner's sexual advances and investigating how partners manage unmet sexual needs.     

Better to Decide Together: Shared Consumer Decision Making,Perceived Power,and Relationship Satisfaction

Shared consumer decisions, particularly those made with a relationship partner, can be very different from decisions that are made alone. Across multiple studies, we investigate how shared consumer decision making affects perceptions of power and relationship satisfaction. We integrate two streams of research to create a novel theory about consumer decision making and perceived power. Specifically, we suggest that shared consumer decision making combines two necessary components of power—an individual's influence over and a partner's engagement in the decision—and that these combined components drive power perceptions. In other words, individuals who relinquish some control and make a decision with their partner, ironically, perceive having greater power than if they had made the decision alone. We further find that shared decision making and greater perceived power lead to greater satisfaction with the relationship in which the decisions are made. By focusing on consumer decision making within relationships, the current research contributes to the literatures on decision making, social influences in consumer behavior, close relationships, consumer well-being, and power.     

Whose personality is better,mine or my partner's? Self‐enhancement bias in relationships

Previous research has documented self‐enhancement and relationship partner‐enhancement motivations, but not examined whether individuals view themselves or their partners more favorably, overall. The authors conducted three studies that revealed a general tendency to favor oneself over one's partner in direct self–partner personality comparisons. This illustrated a motivational precedence of self‐enhancement over partner‐enhancement goals. In Study 1, participants rated self‐only traits more favorably than partner‐only traits. In Studies 2 and 3, participants rated desirable traits as more characteristic of themselves than their partner, particularly when traits were more relevant to personal than relationship success. The authors also found that this self‐favoring bias was weaker (typically nonexistent) among those with higher relationship satisfaction, lower self‐esteem, or lower self‐deceptive tendencies. The authors discuss practical, theoretical, and methodological implications.     

The reciprocal cycle of self‐concealment and trust in romantic relationships

We propose that perceived partner concealment, self‐concealment from one's partner (i.e., keeping secrets from one's partner), and trust in one's partner form a reciprocal cycle in romantic relationships. In Study 1, participants in a romantic relationship (N = 94) completed a two‐time point survey within a span of 8 to 10 weeks. Results revealed that perceived partner concealment was associated with a loss of trust in partner, and low trust in partner was associated with an increase in self‐concealment from one's partner. Furthermore, the association between perceived partner concealment and self‐concealment from one's partner was mediated by trust. In Study 2, couples (N = 50) completed daily records for 14 consecutive days. Multilevel analyses indicated that on the days the individuals reported more self‐concealment, their partners reported lower trust in them. Moreover, on the days the partners reported lower trust, the partners also reported higher self‐concealment. These findings suggest that self‐concealment in romantic relationships can create a reciprocal cycle that involves loss of trust and more self‐concealment between partners, which would slowly deteriorate the relationship well‐being. Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

The role of self‐esteem and anxiety in decision making for self versus others in relationships

Previous research has documented a tendency for people to make more risk‐seeking decisions for others than for themselves in relationship scenarios. Two experiments investigated whether this self–other difference is moderated by participants' self‐esteem and anxiety levels. In Experiment 1, lower self‐esteem and higher anxiety levels were associated with more risk‐averse choices for personal decisions but not for decisions for others. Therefore, participants with lower self‐esteem/higher anxiety showed greater self–other differences in comparison to participants with higher self‐esteem/lower anxiety levels. Experiment 2 demonstrated that this effect was largely mediated by participants' expectations of success and feelings about potential negative outcomes. These results are discussed in the context of “threats to the self,” with a central role played by anxiety and self‐esteem threats in personal decision making but not in decision making for others. Copyright © 2005 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

The virtue of problem‐solving: Perceived partner virtues as predictors of problem‐solving efficacy

Three studies involving dating relationships and friendships tested the hypothesis that higher perceived partner virtues (or personal strengths enacted in the context of relationships) are related to greater relationship problem‐solving efficacy. Studies 1 and 2 showed that higher perceived partner virtues were related to more relationship problem‐solving efficacy concurrently and longitudinally. Study 3 showed that perceiving one's partner as more virtuous predicted increased turning toward one's partner for assistance, which, in turn, predicted increased problem‐solving efficacy. All 3 studies showed that higher perceived partner virtues were related to greater relationship problem‐solving efficacy.     

Subjective Social Standing and Conflict Tactics Among Young Kenyan Men

Efforts to reduce intimate partner violence in sub‐Saharan Africa generally approach the issue through the lens of women's empowerment. These efforts include foci on women's relative power in the relationship, educational background, and earning potential. The social status of men has largely been ignored, reducing the potential to involve them in efforts to demote intimate partner violence. In this study we consider whether a man's perceived social status predicts conflict tactics, and whether these tactics are mediated by loneliness and collective self‐esteem from a community‐based sample in semi‐rural Kenya (n = 263). We find that men who reported lower perceived social status also reported significantly more frequent violent conflicts with their intimate partners. This association was significantly, and completely, mediated by lower collective self‐esteem and higher loneliness. There was no direct association between subjective social status and negotiation‐based conflict tactics, although there was an indirect association. Men with higher perceived social status reported higher collective self‐esteem, and men with higher collective self‐esteem reported more negotiation‐based conflict tactics. These findings inform efforts to reduce intimate partner violence by involving men, showing potential to reduce violence by building self‐esteem among men—particularly those with lower perceived social status.     

Being responsible versus acting responsibly: Effects of agency and risk taking on responsibility judgments

In three experimental studies, with managers and students as participants, we explore in this paper the relation between two kinds of responsibility judgments, called Responsibility 1 (R1) and Responsibility 2 (R2). Decision makers can be viewed as being more or less responsible for their choice and its consequences (R1). Their actions can also be evaluated, from a normative point of view, as instances of more or less responsible behavior (R2). Experiment 1 showed that managers who depart from the default or “normal” course of action, by choosing a new (versus familiar) alternative, changing (versus sticking to) an initial decision, or going against (versus following) the advice of a management team, are rated as more responsible (R1) for the outcomes of their decision. At the same time, they are perceived to act in a less responsible way (R2). Experiment 2 compared decision makers choosing between more or less risky options. High risk takers were held more responsible (R1) for their choice and for its consequences, but were again viewed as behaving in a less responsible way (R2) than low risk takers. In Experiment 3, participants judged decision makers who followed or opposed others' advice by choosing either a high or a low risk option. Opposing others' advice led to higher R1 and lower R2 scores, especially when choosing the high risk option, moderated by outcome (successful decisions appearing more responsible than those that went wrong). Thus R1 and R2 judgments should be distinguished as having different and sometimes even opposite determinants.     

Of lust and love: Beliefs about the role of sexual desire in romantic relationships

Little is known about the beliefs that men and women have about the role of sexual desire in romantic relationships, despite the interpersonal and individual significance of those beliefs. Three experiments conducted with students from a university in the midwestern United States examined both the perceived consequences of sexual desire for romantic relationships and beliefs about the association between sexual desire and romantic love. Men and women believed that dating partners who desire each other sexually are more likely to experience romantic love and other “positive” interpersonal events and less likely to experience “negative” events than partners who do not desire each other sexually, regardless of their level of sexual activity (Experiment 1). Similarly, partners who are romantically in love were viewed as more likely to desire each other than were partners who love or who like one another, and desire was perceived as equally likely to occur in loving and liking relationships; that is, sexual desire did not differentiate these two affective syndromes (Experiment 2). In couples with a mismatched sexual desire pattern, the high-desire partner was perceived as more likely than the sexually uninterested partner to be in love, satisfied, committed, happy, and jealous, whereas the low-desire partner was viewed as more likely to terminate the relationship and to be unfaithful (Experiment 3). These results suggest that sexual desire is viewed as an important feature of romantic love, and that its presence or absence in a dating relationship is believed to have implications for the emotional tenor and interpersonal dynamics of that relationship.     

Coparenting dynamics: Mothers' and fathers' differential support and involvement

This study utilizes the actor–partner interdependence model to examine mothers' and fathers' support of their partner and involvement in parental decision making during coparenting interactions in relation to cooperative and competitive coparenting in a sample of 125 first‐time parents with a 24‐month‐old child. Fathers showed greater instances of support for their partner than did mothers, and mothers demonstrated higher levels of involvement in parenting decisions than did fathers. Mothers' higher support of fathers' parenting was related negatively to competitive coparenting and positively to fathers' involvement. Fathers' higher support of mothers and higher involvement in parenting decisions was related to higher cooperative coparenting. Implications for family intervention and future research are discussed.     

Shifting toward cooperative tendencies and forgiveness: How partner‐focused prayer transforms motivation

Several studies tested whether partner‐focused prayer shifts individuals toward cooperative tendencies and forgiveness. In Studies 1 and 2, participants who prayed more frequently for their partner were rated by objective coders as less vengeful. Study 3 showed that, compared to partners of targets in the positive partner thought condition, the romantic partners of targets assigned to pray reported a positive change in their partner's forgiveness. In Study 4, participants who prayed following a partner's “hurtful behavior” were more cooperative with their partners in a mixed‐motive game compared to participants who engaged in positive thoughts about their partner. In Study 5, participants who prayed for a close relationship partner reported higher levels of cooperative tendencies and forgiveness.     

Self‐Control Moderates Decision‐Making Behavior When Minimizing Losses versus Maximizing Gains

We examined (1) whether people would be more responsive to the delayed consequences of their decisions when attempting to minimize losses than when attempting to maximize gains in a history‐dependent decision‐making task and (2) how trait self‐control would moderate such an effect. In two experiments, participants performed a dynamic decision‐making task where they chose one of two options on each trial. The increasing option always gave a smaller immediate reward but caused future rewards for both options to increase. The decreasing option always gave a larger immediate reward but caused future rewards for both options to decrease. In Experiment 1 where the two options had equivalent expected value in the long run, participants were more prone to select the increasing option, which yielded larger benefits on future trials, in the loss‐minimization condition than in the gain‐maximization condition. Trait self‐control moderated the effect of losses by enhancing the effect for low self‐control participants while attenuating it for high self‐control participants. In Experiment 2 where selecting the increasing option was suboptimal, low self‐control participants still attempted to reduce losses on future trials by selecting the increasing option more often than high self‐control participants. These results suggest that decision makers value delayed consequences of their actions more in a losses domain relative to a gains domain and low self‐control individuals are more susceptible to such an effect. Copyright © 2014 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Second Thoughts About Decision Reversibility: An Empirical Overview

People generally expect that having the opportunity to reverse a decision contributes to the quality of decision‐making. However, previous research has unequivocally shown that reversible decisions actually yield lower levels of post‐choice satisfaction and higher levels of regret than irreversible decisions. Only recently, research has begun to investigate the underlying processes explaining these counterintuitive and detrimental consequences of decision reversibility. In the present paper, we will review and integrate this research and distinguish a number of important cognitive and motivational consequences of decision (ir)reversibility. With this paper, we aim to inspire future research into the discrepancy between people's wish for reversibility on the one hand and their need for irreversibility on the other.     

Attachment and dependence regulation within daily interactions with romantic partners

For 2 weeks, 74 New Zealand undergraduate students recorded their reactions to two components of situational dependence during interactions with their romantic partner: low personal control and high partner impact. Lower personal control predicted lower perceived regard and intimacy, greater partner derogation and withdrawal (self‐protective dependence regulation), and reduced attempts to improve interaction quality (relationship‐promotive dependence regulation). Participants also reported greater self‐protective dependence regulation the more their partner was impacting on their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. As expected, more anxious individuals reported higher drops in perceived regard and greater self‐protective dependence regulation when experiencing lower control, whereas more avoidant individuals reported lower regard and reduced relationship‐promotive behavior when experiencing stronger partner impact. The links between attachment and dependence are discussed.     

When Do Personality and Emotion Predict Destructive Behavior During Relationship Conflict? The Role of Perceived Commitment Asymmetry

The current research examined whether perceived asymmetries in relationship commitment moderate the associations of personality traits and emotional states with enactment of hostile behavior during relationship conflicts. Participants included both members of 53 heterosexual romantic couples (M_age = 25.5 years). Participants completed questionnaire measures assessing personality traits, emotional states, relationship commitment, and perceptions of their partner's commitment. Participants then had an observed conflict discussion with their partner, which was rated by a panel of objective observers for hostile behavior. When participants perceived that they were less committed than their partners, their enactment of hostile behavior was predicted by traits and states that are associated with antisocial and pro‐social orientations (i.e., agreeableness, trait anger, chronic jealousy, and state negative emotion). In contrast, participants who perceived that they were more committed than their partners tended to refrain from hostile behavior, despite traits or states that may suggest hostile inclinations. These results suggest that perceiving that one is less committed than one's partner promotes behavioral expression of interpersonal dispositions and emotions, whereas perceiving that one is more committed than one's partner motivates inhibition of hostile behavior.     

Interpersonal coping styles and couple relationship quality: Similarity versus complementarity hypotheses

This study employs a dyadic approach and examines how two partners' interpersonal coping styles may independently and jointly predict their relationship quality. Hypotheses were derived on the basis of dyadic coping theory focusing on how similar versus complementary styles of interpersonal coping may be useful in explaining couples' relationship quality. On the basis of attachment theory and self‐determination theory, three interpersonal coping styles were included: dismissive, adaptive, and anxious/expressive. Data were collected from 123 romantic couples. Actor–partner interdependence models revealed that interpersonal coping styles were related to self‐perceived (actor effect) and partner‐perceived (partner effect) relationship quality. Furthermore, results also showed that relationship quality was predicted by the interactions between self's and partner's interpersonal coping styles. Findings suggest that future research should focus on understanding interpersonal coping behaviors of both partners in a relationship, especially the complex interactions between two partners' characteristics and their effects on relationship outcomes. Copyright © 2014 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

When does responsiveness pique sexual interest? Attachment and sexual desire in initial acquaintanceships

Three studies examined the contribution of attachment orientation and perceived partner responsiveness to sexual desire in initial acquaintanceships. In all studies, participants discussed a recent negative event with an unfamiliar, opposite-sex partner and then rated how responsive this partner had been during the interaction and their desire to have sex with him or her. Study 1 examined the association between perceived partner responsiveness and sexual desire in randomly paired strangers. Studies 2 and 3 experimentally manipulated partner responsiveness by standardized Instant Messages (Study 2) and a confederate's responsive or unresponsive reactions during face-to-face interviews (Study 3). Results indicated that perceiving a partner as responsive was associated with heightened interest in sex with this partner, primarily among less avoidant people. These results are consistent with research showing that secure individuals see sex as a means of becoming close to relationship partners, whereas avoidant individuals tend to approach sex in distancing ways.     

The Relevance of Big Five Trait Content in Behavior to Subjective Authenticity: Do High Levels of Within‐Person Behavioral Variability Undermine or Enable Authenticity Achievement?

ABSTRACT Individuals vary their behavior from moment to moment a great deal, often acting “out of character” for their traits. This article investigates the consequences for authenticity. We compared 2 hypotheses—trait consistency, that individuals feel most authentic when acting in a way consistent with their traits; and state‐content significance, that some ways of acting feel more authentic because of their content and consequences, regardless of the actor's corresponding traits. Three studies using experience‐sampling methodology in laboratory and natural settings, with participants ages 18–51, strongly supported the state‐content significance hypothesis and did not support the trait‐consistency hypothesis. Authenticity was consistently associated with acting highly extraverted, agreeable, conscientious, emotionally stable, and intellectual, regardless of the actor's traits. Discussion focuses on possible implications for within‐person variability in behavior and for the nature of the self‐concept.     

Perceiving regulation from intimate partners: Reflected appraisal and self‐regulation processes in close relationships

Cross‐sectional (N = 202) and longitudinal analyses over a 6‐month period (N = 155) assessed the consequences of perceiving regulation attempts from romantic partners. Greater perceived regulation from the partner was associated with more negative inferences regarding how closely individuals matched their partner's ideal standards in the targeted domain (inferred ideal consistency). Lower inferred ideal consistency, in turn, was associated with poorer relationship evaluations and predicted more negative perceptions of targeted self‐attributes. Individuals also directly responded to their partner's regulation efforts with attempts to change targeted features. Finally, perceiving more negative regulation strategies produced lower inferred ideal consistency, relationship evaluations, and self‐regulation efforts, whereas perceiving more positive strategies predicted greater inferred ideal consistency across time. The operation of reflected appraisal and self‐regulation processes within romantic relationships is discussed.     

Pre‐outcome regret: Widespread and overlooked

Many real‐life decisions (e.g. promises, plans and agreements) involve a time interval between when the decision is made and the main outcome is revealed. Nearly all regret studies focus on anticipated or experienced post‐outcome regret. We argue that regret is also frequently experienced in the pre‐outcome period, and that this ‘pre‐outcome regret’ has other sources than regret experienced after the outcome is known. Regret experienced in the pre‐outcome period has an important function post‐outcome regret (usually) cannot have, namely to motivate the decision maker to reconsider the ongoing decision process and reverse the initial decision. Pre‐outcome regret should for these reasons be distinguished from post‐outcome regret, and studied separately. In two scenario studies, participants were asked to imagine their regret after agreeing to perform an inconvenient task. In both, more regret was reported before than after the event, even when they had imagined a ‘worst case’ outcome. In the third study, participants described a difficult choice from their own life. Again, regret was perceived as higher in the pre‐outcome period than afterwards. In a fourth study, participants reported regret ‘online’ during an economic game (a version of the ultimatum game). They regretted their decisions more before than after they knew the outcome. We conclude that experienced pre‐outcome regret is often stronger than post‐outcome regret, and typically increases during the pre‐outcome period. We suspect that the absence of JDM studies of pre‐outcome regret is a legacy of the dominant gambling metaphor within decision research. Copyright © 2010 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.