Seeking security or growth: a regulatory focus perspective on motivations in romantic relationships

Using a multimethod approach, we examined how regulatory focus shapes people's perceptual, behavioral, and emotional responses in different situations in romantic relationships. We first examined how chronic regulatory focus affects romantic partners' support perceptions and problem-solving behaviors while they were engaged in a conflict resolution discussion (Study 1). Next, we experimentally manipulated regulatory focus and tested its effects on partner perceptions when individuals recalled a prior conflict resolution discussion (Study 2). We then examined how chronic regulatory focus influences individuals' emotional responses to hypothetical relationship events (Study 3) and identified specific partner behaviors to which people should respond with regulatory goal-congruent emotions (Study 4). Strongly prevention-focused people perceived their partners as more distancing and less supportive during conflict (Studies 1 and 2), approached conflict resolution by discussing the details related to the conflict (Study 1), and experienced a negative relationship outcome with more agitation (Study 3). Strongly promotion-focused people perceived their partners as more supportive and less distancing (Studies 1 and 2), displayed more creative conflict resolution behavior (Study 1), and experienced a negative relationship outcome with more sadness and a favorable outcome with more positive emotions (Study 3). In Study 4, recalling irresponsible and responsible partner behaviors was associated with experiencing more prevention-focused emotions, whereas recalling affectionate and neglectful partner behaviors was associated with more promotion-focused emotions. The findings show that regulatory focus and approach-avoidance motivations influence certain interpersonal processes in similar ways, but regulatory focus theory also generates novel predictions on which approach-avoidance models are silent.     

Responses to dissatisfaction in romantic involvements: A multidimensional scaling analysis

Two multidimensional scaling studies were conducted to develop a comprehensive, inductively derived typology of responses to dissatisfaction in romantic involvements. Study 1 examined the responses of an undergraduate population, and Study 2 explored the reactions of a more heterogeneous, adult sample. The studies revealed similar patterns of results. In both Study 1 and Study 2, four general categories of response to dissatisfaction were observed: (a) exit—ending or actively abusing the relationship; (b) voice—actively attempting to improve conditions; (c) loyalty—passively waiting for conditions to improve; and (d) neglect—passively allowing the relationship to deteriorate. Two dimensions were distinguished among the response categories—constructiveness/destructiveness and activity/passivity. Voice and loyalty were judged to be constructive behaviors, while exit and neglect were viewed as relatively more destructive. And exit and voice were seen as fairly active, while loyalty and neglect were judged to be more passive (this effect was stronger in Study 1 than in Study 2). These findings provide good support for the Rusbult, Zembrodt, and Gunn (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 1982, 43, 1230–1242) model of responses to dissatifaction in romantic involvements.     

Attachment styles and relationship quality: Actual,perceived, and ideal partner matching

Attachment dimension matching in dating relationships and how matching relates to relationship quality were investigated. Across 2 studies, individuals preferred similar but more secure partners (lower anxiety and lower avoidance) as reflected by their ideals. In Study 1, greater similarity between the self and perceptions of the partner's anxiety predicted more positive relationship outcomes (e.g., relationship satisfaction, trust). Similar results were found for ideal–perceived partner avoidance similarity, whereas ideal–perceived partner anxiety similarity was less important. Study 2 involved both partners in the relationship and indicated that relationship outcomes were predicted by the actor's and partner's attachment dimensions as well as by ideal–perceived partner similarity and self–perceived partner similarity.     

The impact of gender and sex-role orientation on responses to dissatisfaction in close relationships

Three studies were designed to examine the relationships among gender, sex role orientation, and responses to dissatisfaction in close relationships. Four ways of reacting to dissatisfaction were explored: (a) exit — ending or threatening to end the relationship; (b) voice — activity and constructively attempting to improve conditions; (c) loyalty — passively but optimistically waiting for conditions to improve; and (d) neglect — passively allowing conditions to deteriorate. Study 1 assessed generalized responses among university students; Study 2 assessed generalized responses among adults residing in the local community; and Study 3 assessed response tendencies among lesbian, gay male, and heterosexual women and men. Greater psychological femininity was consistently associated with greater tendencies to respond to relationship problems with voice and loyalty. However, there was little evidence of a link between level of femininity and tendencies to respond with exit and neglect. Greater psychological masculinity was associated with lesser tendencies toward voice and loyalty, and there was some evidence of a link between high psychological masculinity and tendencies toward exit and neglect. Gender was not consistently related to response tendencies, though there was very weak evidence that in comparison to females, males may be more likely to engage in exit and neglect responses.The authors wish to express their gratitude to Randall James, Chip Mainous, and Leisa Maxwell for their help in conducting these studies, and to the Gay and Lesbian University Students Organization for their help in conducting Study 3. We also thank Dr. David Lowery for useful comments on an earlier draft of this paper.     

Measuring up: The unique emotional and regulatory outcomes of different perceived partner-ideal discrepancies in romantic relationships

Guided by the ideal standards model (Simpson, Fletcher, & Campbell, 2001), the present research investigated the emotional and regulatory consequences of different forms of perceived partner discrepancies in a relationship context. Studies 1 (dating sample) and 2 (married sample) demonstrated that perceiving one's partner to be the source of a partner discrepancy (i.e., a PD-partner) was associated with dejection emotions, whereas perceiving oneself to be the source of the partner discrepancy (i.e., a PD-self) was associated with agitation emotions. Study 3 provided experimental support for the findings of Studies 1 and 2 by demonstrating that participants primed with either a PD-partner or a PD-self exhibited facilitated responses to dejection and agitation emotions, respectively. Studies 4 and 5 provided experimental support for the prediction that a PD-partner also results in a promotion focus regulatory style, whereas a PD-self results in a prevention focus regulatory style. The importance of understanding the emotional and regulatory ramifications of evaluation outcomes within a romantic relationship context is discussed. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved).     

Social allergies in romantic relationships: Behavioral repetition,emotional sensitization,and dissatisfaction in dating couples

A social allergy is a reaction of hypersensitive annoyance or disgust to a repeated behavior. Two studies were conducted on the social allergen categories of uncouth habits, inconsiderate acts, intrusive behaviors, and norm violations. Study 1 focused on hypothetical male and female partner behaviors at 2 and 12 months in a dating relationship. Study 2 obtained reports of social allergens performed by the individual and partner in dating couples, as well as the individual's emotional responses and relationship outcomes. Social allergens were perceived to increase in frequency over time in both studies, with some indications that men were more uncouth and norm violating and women were more inconsiderate and intrusive. Study 2 also found that the more often that the partner performed an allergenic behavior, the stronger was the individual's negative emotional reaction. Further, frequent and emotionally intense social allergens were associated with relationship dissatisfaction, and with termination assessed a year later.     

Individual and dyadic associations among relational self‐expansion potential,affect, and perceived health

A growing body of literature suggests that specific markers of relationship quality are meaningfully linked to health outcomes. We tested whether relational self‐expansion potential might be one of these markers in cross‐sectional samples of individuals and romantic couples. Study 1 found that greater self‐expansion potential was linked to better perceived physical health via both higher positive affect (PA) and lower negative affect (NA). Study 2 replicated these findings for PA (but not NA) and revealed both actor and partner effects of self‐expansion potential. Results remained robust when statistically accounting for gender, age, body mass index, agreeableness, neuroticism, and perceived partner responsiveness. These findings identify a new relationship‐level “active ingredient” associated with health and have implications for future physical health studies.     

Regulation processes in intimate relationships: the role of ideal standards

This research investigated the consistency between partner perceptions and ideal standards (ideal-perception consistency) and the partner regulation attempts of 200 individuals involved in relationships (Study 1) and 62 heterosexual couples (Study 2). As predicted, greater regulation attempts were associated with lower ideal-perception consistency, and these links operated within 3 pivotal mate-evaluation dimensions and were moderated by perceived regulation success. Ideal-perception consistency also mediated the relation between partner regulation and relationship quality, and cross-lagged analyses suggested that ideal consistency and regulation influenced each other over time. Finally, stronger partner regulation was generally associated with more negative self-evaluations and more self-regulation by the targeted partner. These novel results support and extend the Ideal Standards Model (J. A. Simpson, G. J. O. Fletcher, & L. Campbell, 2001).     

A multimethod investigation of depressive symptoms,perceived understanding,and relationship quality

This research examines whether people who are experiencing more depressive symptoms perceive their partners as less able to understand their thoughts and feelings. Results showed that depressive symptoms (Studies 1 and 3) and depressive mood (Study 2) were negatively associated with perceived understanding in general (Study 1), in daily life (Study 2), and during a conflict conversation (Study 3). Partners of people who were more depressed actually were less empathically accurate during the conflict conversation in Study 3, although they did not recognize that they were being less understanding. Moreover, perceived understanding helped explain the link between depressive symptoms and relationship quality in all three studies, and these effects held when controlling for self‐reported understanding and perceived partner hostility.     

“I know you're kidding”: Relationship closeness enhances positive perceptions of teasing

Feeling close in a relationship may enhance perceptions of teasing within that relationship. In Study 1, participants recalled instances of teasing—as both teaser and target—in close and nonclose relationships. Participants perceived teases in close relationships more positively and better intentioned than those in nonclose relationships, as both teaser and target. The discrepancy between teasers and targets in perceptions of intent was also reduced by felt closeness. In Study 2, interaction partner closeness was manipulated and a tease was staged. Teases delivered by a close (vs. nonclose) partner were perceived as more positive and better intentioned. Each study has limitations but their methods complement each other. Together they provide convergent evidence that relationship closeness increases positive perceptions of teasing.     

So far away from one's partner, yet so close to romantic alternatives: avoidant attachment, interest in alternatives, and infidelity

Temptation pervades modern social life, including the temptation to engage in infidelity. The present investigation examines one factor that may put individuals at a greater risk of being unfaithful to their partner: dispositional avoidant attachment style. The authors hypothesize that avoidantly attached people may be less resistant to temptations for infidelity due to lower levels of commitment in romantic relationships. This hypothesis was confirmed in 8 studies. People with high, vs. low, levels of dispositional avoidant attachment had more permissive attitudes toward infidelity (Study 1), showed attentional bias toward attractive alternative partners (Study 2), expressed greater daily interest in meeting alternatives to their current relationship partner (Study 5), perceived alternatives to their current relationship partner more positively (Study 6), and engaged in more infidelity over time (Studies 3, 4, 7, and 8). This effect was mediated by lower levels of commitment (Studies 5-8). Thus, avoidant attachment predicted a broad spectrum of responses indicative of interest in alternatives and propensity to engage in infidelity, which were mediated by low levels of commitment.     

No need for pedestals: Idealization does not predict better relationships among Asians

The authors tested whether partner idealization was positively associated with relationship quality among 105 intraracially dating Asian American couples (Study 1) and 98 Chinese couples (Study 2) through two methods. The commonly used residual‐based approach found, in both samples, the positive associations between idealizing a partner and relationship quality previously documented among European/European Americans. In contrast, the piece‐wise regression analysis, which distinguished between idealization and derogation, found few positive associations between idealizing a partner and relationship quality. Similarly, being the object of idealization rarely predicted greater relationship quality for either sample, even when perceived idealization was tested. Derogation, however, predicted relationship outcomes. Therefore, future studies should focus on negative behaviors or attitudes (or the lack thereof) in understanding relationship outcomes.     

Perceived Emotional Intelligence,Stress Reactivity,and Symptom Reports: Further Explorations Using the Trait Meta-Mood Scale

We examined the relationship between perceived emotional intelligence (PEI), measured by the Trait Meta-Mood Scale (TMMS), and psychophysiological measures of adaptive coping. The TMMS assesses perceived ability to (a) attend to moods (Attention), (b) discriminate clearly among moods (Clarity), and (c) regulate moods (Repair). Study 1 showed significant positive associations between PEI and psychological and interpersonal functioning. In Study 2, skill at mood Repair was associated with less passive coping and perceptions of repeated laboratory stressors as less threatening; Clarity was related to greater increases in negative mood, but lower cortisol release during repeated stress. In Study 3, Repair was associated with active coping and lower levels of rumination; Attention was associated with lowered cortisol and blood pressure responses to acute laboratory challenges. These findings suggest that psychophysiological responses to stress may be one potential mechanism underlying the relationship between emotional functioning and health.     

建言类型对管理者建言采纳的影响：上下级关系的间接调节作用

基于说服模型,本研究探讨了建言类型、上下级关系、管理者感知忠诚对管理者建言采纳的影响。通过两个管理者样本的实验数据,本研究发现：(1)管理者更易采纳促进性建言而非抑制性建言;(2)在上下级关系不好的情况下,建言类型对建言采纳的影响显著,在上下级关系较好的情况下,建言类型对建言采纳的影响不显著;(3)上下级关系是通过管理者感知忠诚调节建言类型对建言采纳的影响。     

When does responsiveness pique sexual interest? Attachment and sexual desire in initial acquaintanceships

Three studies examined the contribution of attachment orientation and perceived partner responsiveness to sexual desire in initial acquaintanceships. In all studies, participants discussed a recent negative event with an unfamiliar, opposite-sex partner and then rated how responsive this partner had been during the interaction and their desire to have sex with him or her. Study 1 examined the association between perceived partner responsiveness and sexual desire in randomly paired strangers. Studies 2 and 3 experimentally manipulated partner responsiveness by standardized Instant Messages (Study 2) and a confederate's responsive or unresponsive reactions during face-to-face interviews (Study 3). Results indicated that perceiving a partner as responsive was associated with heightened interest in sex with this partner, primarily among less avoidant people. These results are consistent with research showing that secure individuals see sex as a means of becoming close to relationship partners, whereas avoidant individuals tend to approach sex in distancing ways.     

More than a feeling: discrete emotions mediate the relationship between relative deprivation and reactions to workplace furloughs

A key insight from investigations of individual relative deprivation (IRD) is that people can experience objective disadvantages differently. In this study, university faculty (N = 953) who reported greater IRD in response to a mandatory furlough (i.e., involuntary pay reductions) were more likely to (a) voice options designed to improve the university (voice), (b) consider leaving their job (exit), and (c) neglect their work responsibilities (neglect), but were (d) less likely to express loyalty to the university (loyalty). Consistent with the emotions literature, (a) anger mediated the relationship between IRD and voice, (b) fear between IRD and exit, (c) sadness between IRD and neglect, and (d) gratitude between IRD and loyalty. IRD was inversely associated with self-reported physical and mental health via these different emotional pathways. These results show how discrete emotions can explain responses to IRD and, in turn, contribute to organizational viability and the health of its members.     

When does performance feedback prompt complementarity in romantic relationships?

Two studies addressed five issues concerning complementarity in romantic relationships and suggest that complementarity deserves a new look. Dating couples (N= 28 couples) and married couples (N= 43). were given performance feedback to assess effects on self and perceived partner relevance. We found that comparison with a partner but not comparison with a stranger prompted complementarity (Study 1). Comparison resulted in complementarity and did not merely change self‐image (Studies 1 and 2). Both outperforming the partner and being outperformed by the partner can prompt complementarity (Study 2). Ceding areas to the partner in response to being outperformed was relatively automatic (Study 2). And, degree of development in the relationship influenced response to comparison‐feedback (Studies 1 and 2). Findings suggest that partners in romantic relationships automatically protect their views of the relationship as a “team” by increasing “perceived complementarity” in response to differential performance feedback.     

The virtue of problem‐solving: Perceived partner virtues as predictors of problem‐solving efficacy

Three studies involving dating relationships and friendships tested the hypothesis that higher perceived partner virtues (or personal strengths enacted in the context of relationships) are related to greater relationship problem‐solving efficacy. Studies 1 and 2 showed that higher perceived partner virtues were related to more relationship problem‐solving efficacy concurrently and longitudinally. Study 3 showed that perceiving one's partner as more virtuous predicted increased turning toward one's partner for assistance, which, in turn, predicted increased problem‐solving efficacy. All 3 studies showed that higher perceived partner virtues were related to greater relationship problem‐solving efficacy.     

The reciprocal cycle of self‐concealment and trust in romantic relationships

We propose that perceived partner concealment, self‐concealment from one's partner (i.e., keeping secrets from one's partner), and trust in one's partner form a reciprocal cycle in romantic relationships. In Study 1, participants in a romantic relationship (N = 94) completed a two‐time point survey within a span of 8 to 10 weeks. Results revealed that perceived partner concealment was associated with a loss of trust in partner, and low trust in partner was associated with an increase in self‐concealment from one's partner. Furthermore, the association between perceived partner concealment and self‐concealment from one's partner was mediated by trust. In Study 2, couples (N = 50) completed daily records for 14 consecutive days. Multilevel analyses indicated that on the days the individuals reported more self‐concealment, their partners reported lower trust in them. Moreover, on the days the partners reported lower trust, the partners also reported higher self‐concealment. These findings suggest that self‐concealment in romantic relationships can create a reciprocal cycle that involves loss of trust and more self‐concealment between partners, which would slowly deteriorate the relationship well‐being. Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.