Shame in Sexual Minorities: Stigma,Internal Cognitions,and Counseling Considerations

Theorists, clinicians, and researchers have suggested that shame is a central concern in the lives of sexual minority individuals. Cognitive theorists believe that shame occurs when a person fails to achieve his or her standards, which are often based on social, cultural, and spiritual values. Although it is asserted that stigma causes shame among members of a sexual minority, the empirical evidence suggests that negative internal cognitions are partly responsible. By targeting negative beliefs, counselors can help sexual minorities reduce their sense of shame, particularly around issues related to sexual identity. The authors offer counseling strategies for reducing shame in sexual minority clients.     

Secrets versus privacy in group psychotherapy

Secrets lead to subgroup formation and premature termination in group psychotherapy. Privacy is the right of each individual to choose the appropriate time and manner in which he or she reveals intimate knowledge about him/herself. Secrets are the conscious or unconscious withholding of information, often as a protective mechanism to avoid fear and shame. Holding secrets is a form of acting out in groups. When secrets are revealed, working through occurs and shame is overcome. This occurs when boundaries are maintained and safety develops as a result of acceptance within the group.     

Absorbing Society’s Influence: Body Image Self-Discrepancy and Internalized Shame

In this study, we examined how injunctive cultural norms concerning body image are perceived by women, assessed the degree of body shame that occurs when an individual sees herself as differing from the cultural standard, and measured the extent to which the internalization of this standard as a personal ideal may influence the experience of body-related shame. Female college students (N = 687) completed measures of body shame and two types of body image self-discrepancy—actual:own ideal (AI) and actual:societal ought (ASO). Self-discrepancies were determined by subtracting participants' ideal and ought estimates from their actual body shape perception. AI was found to mediate the relationship between ASO and shame, which suggests that the internalization of body ideals may be an important antecedent to emotional consequences from cultural norms.     

No Place to Hide: When Shame Causes Proselfs to Cooperate

Shame is considered a social emotion with action tendencies that elicit socially beneficial behavior. Yet, unlike other social emotions, prior experimental studies do not indicate that incidental shame boosts prosocial behavior. Based on the affect as information theory, we hypothesize that incidental feelings of shame can increase cooperation, but only for self-interested individuals, and only in a context where shame is relevant with regards to its action tendency. To test this hypothesis, cooperation levels are compared between a simultaneous prisoner's dilemma (where “defect” may result from multiple motives) and a sequential prisoner's dilemma (where “second player defect” is the result of intentional greediness). As hypothesized, shame positively affected proselfs in a sequential prisoner's dilemma. Hence ashamed proselfs become inclined to cooperate when they believe they have no way to hide their greediness, and not necessarily because they want to make up for earlier wrong-doing.     

Not so ugly after all: when shame acts as a commitment device

Most psychological theories and research on shame focus on the ugly aspects and negative consequences of this emotion. Theories on moral emotions, however, assume that shame acts as a commitment device motivating prosocial behavior. To solve this apparent paradox, the authors studied the effects of shame on prosocial behavior. Shame was hypothesized to motivate prosocial behavior when it was relevant for the decision at hand (endogenous). In contrast, shame that was not relevant for the decision at hand (exogenous) was hypothesized to have no such effects. Four experiments with three different shame inductions and two different measures of prosocial behavior confirmed that endogenous shame motivated prosocial behavior for proselfs but that exogenous shame did not. Shame is shown to have a clear interpersonal function in the sense that it acts as a commitment device.     

Moving beyond “shame is bad”: How a functional emotion can become problematic

Shame research has been divided. At present, the shame literature can be broadly dichotomized into whether it argues for a problematic or functional view of shame. Shame is commonly linked, for example, to aggression, poor health and wellbeing, and psychopathologies such as post‐traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, and depression. Some researchers, however, suggest that shame is functional as it serves the purpose of gauging when one's social self is threatened, because of a loss of status or social bonds. To resolve this conflict, shame has been redefined in a variety of ways in an attempt to distinguish functional shame from problematic shame. However, approaches that ever more narrowly define the construct can lead to a defining away of the complexity of the lived experience of shame. In this review, we integrate the conflicting research on shame, examining how shame, as an emotion that evolved for a functional purpose, can become problematic. Avoidance in response to shame can move shame from being a functional social gauge that motivates repair to a problematic emotion, and avoidance is more likely to the extent that shame seems irreparable. Therefore, understanding what factors impact on perceived reparability will be important for understanding how shame can become problematic. How we see ourselves, others, our actions, and the costs of repair are all likely to impact on whether or not shame becomes functional or problematic.     

The effect of shame on anger at others: awareness of the emotion-causing events matters

Numerous studies have found that shame increases individuals’ anger at others. However, according to recent theories about the social function of shame and anger at others, it is possible that shame controls individuals’ anger at others in specific conditions. We replicated previous findings that shame increased individuals’ anger at others’ unfairness, when others were not aware of the individual’s experience of shameful events. We also found for the first time that shame controlled or even decreased individuals’ anger at others’ unfairness, when others were aware of the individual’s experience of shameful events. The results were consistent when shame was induced by either a recall paradigm or an imagination paradigm, and in either the ultimatum game or the dictator game. This suggests that shame strategically controls individuals’ anger at others to demonstrate that they are willing to benefit others, when facing the risk of social exclusion. Our findings highlight the interpersonal function of shame and deepen the understanding of the relationship between shame and anger at others.     

On Shame – In Response to Dan Zahavi,Self and Other

Abstract

In chapter 14 of Zahavi’s recent book, Self and Other, the notion of shame is discussed. In feeling shame one experiences oneself as experienced by others. For Sartre, that experience in itself is sufficient for shame, as one experiences oneself as determined in the experience of others and hence as shamefully not self-determining. But Zahavi introduces an extra condition for shame, which is a ‘global decrease in self-esteem’. This paper questions the need for this condition and argues that seeing oneself as shameful in the eyes of others needs to be spelt out in a pragmatist way in terms of certain shame-involving practices rather than in a purely phenomenological way.     

Self-compassion Improves Parental Well-being in Response to Challenging Parenting Events

Shame and guilt are common during the course of parenting and can reflect feelings of “bad self “and “bad behaviour” in relation to parenting events. Self-compassion is known to be beneficial for well-being by reducing negative emotions, yet there is little research examining whether self-compassion might reduce parental guilt and shame. The current study examined the effects of dispositional and induced self-compassion on guilt and shame in a sample of 167 parents (Mage = 37.23, SD = 6.73, 83.1% female) of children ≤12?years recruited online. After completing baseline measures, parents were randomly assigned to recall a guilt versus shame provoking parenting event, and randomly allocated to either a self-compassion prompt versus a control condition. Analyses confirmed that those who received the self-compassion prompt reported higher levels of self-compassion, and reduced feelings of guilt and shame compared to the control group. Effects did not differ as a function of the guilt versus shame instructions. Multivariate analyses revealed that, when controlling for dispositional self-compassion, and baseline guilt and shame, differences between conditions were maintained for post-manipulation guilt and shame. Findings extend our understanding of the role of self-compassion for improving well-being when dealing with the challenges of parenting.     

补偿他人还是保护自己?内疚与羞耻情绪对合作行为的影响差异

作为两种常见且易被混淆的自我意识情绪, 诸多研究者对内疚和羞耻的产生前因及影响后效进行研究, 尤其是近年来的研究逐渐关注两者对合作行为的影响。我们通过对已有研究进行梳理发现, 内疚和羞耻对合作行为的影响及其机制存在差异, 内疚的影响更为稳定及具有普适性, 羞耻的影响具有复杂性和多样性, 更容易受到其他因素的影响。内疚和羞耻对合作行为的不同影响可从动机机制和调节机制两方面进行解释。首先, 动机机制包括内疚对他人的补偿、修复动机以及羞耻对自我的保护、修复动机。内疚对他人的补偿、修复动机主要体现在维护社会互动中的公平; 弥补对他人造成的伤害, 降低自己和他人的痛苦; 修复人际关系, 重新获得他人或自己的接纳与认同。羞耻对自我的保护、修复动机主要体现在释放消极的情绪状态; 维护积极的自我形象和声誉, 修复自我; 保护自我, 防止后续伤害及不良后果。总体而言, 内疚者关注过失行为及后果, 侧重于对受害他人的补偿或对与他人关系的修复, 而羞耻者关注整体自我的受损, 侧重于对自我的保护和对自己社会形象的修复, 基于此, 我们在前人研究的基础上构建了内疚与羞耻影响合作行为的动机机制对比模型图。其次, 调节机制涉及到个体因素和情境因素的调节作用, 其中个体因素包括认知因素、社会价值取向、自我控制能力、情绪特质和情绪状态, 情境因素包括暴露情境和掩蔽情境、实验情境和日常情境、相关情境和不相关情境。具体而言, 内疚对合作行为的影响的较少受情境的限制, 而羞耻受情境因素限制较多, 在暴露情境、相关情境中更能促进合作行为的产生, 而在掩蔽情境、不相关情境中, 羞耻较难影响个体的合作抉择, 且无论是实验室情境还是日常情境, 内疚似乎都比羞耻更易影响合作。最后, 鉴于内疚与羞耻的诱发和测量方法的有效性仍需检验, 两种情绪对合作行为影响的过程机制和生理机制仍不明晰, 个体因素影响的研究尚不充足以及跨文化研究较为缺乏, 未来研究可以从内疚和羞耻诱发与测量方法的有效性, 情绪作用发生的内在过程和生理机制, 情绪影响的个体和文化差异这几方面进行扩展和深挖。     

Humiliated fury is not universal: the co-occurrence of anger and shame in the United States and Japan

It has been widely believed that individuals transform high-intensity shame into anger because shame is unbearably painful. This phenomenon was first coined “humiliated fury,” and it has since received empirical support. The current research tests the novel hypothesis that shame-related anger is not universal, yet hinges on the cultural meanings of anger and shame. Two studies compared the occurrence of shame-related anger in North American cultural contexts (where shame is devalued and anger is valued) to its occurrence in Japanese contexts (where shame is valued and anger is devalued). In a daily-diary study, participants rated anger and shame feelings during shame situations that occurred over one week. In a vignette study, participants rated anger and shame in response to standardised shame vignettes that were generated in previous research by either U.S. or Japanese respondents. Across the two studies, and in line with previous research on humiliated fury, shame predicted anger for U.S. participants. Yet, neither in the daily diary study nor for the Japanese-origin vignettes, did we find shame-related anger in Japanese participants. Only when presented with U.S.-origin vignettes, did Japanese respondents in the vignette study report shame-related anger. The findings suggest that shame-related anger is a culture-specific phenomenon.     

Can shame memories become a key to identity? The centrality of shame memories predicts psychopathology

This study investigates the premise that a shame memory can become a central component of personal identity, a turning point in the life story and a reference point for everyday inferences. We assessed shame, centrality of shame memory, depression, anxiety, stress and traumatic stress reactions in 811 participants from general population (481 undergraduate students and 330 subjects from normal population) to explore the interactions between these variables. Results show that early shame experiences do indeed reveal centrality of memory characteristics. Furthermore, the centrality of shame memories is associated with current feelings of internal and external shame in adulthood. Key to our findings is that the centrality of shame memories shows a unique and independent contribution to depression, anxiety and stress prediction, even when controlling for shame measures. In addition, our results show that the centrality of shame memories is highly and positively associated with traumatic stress reactions. Copyright © 2010 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Sartre and Fanon: The Phenomenological Problem of Shame and the Experience of Race

ABSTRACT

This paper argues that existing accounts of shame are incomplete in so far as they don’t take account of the problem of shame. This is the problem concerning the possibility of a primary experience of shame. It is the problem Sartre considers under the terms of a “primitive shame” or shame “in its primary structure” that grounds other more complex experiences of shame. This problem is centred on the tension between shame as an immediate, pre-reflective experience and the requirement that shame must involve an awareness of some definitive aspect of the self. I’m going to suggest, correlatively, how by trying to resolve this problem we end up with a more nuanced understanding of shame. In the second part of the paper, I go on to look at how this new interpretation of shame helps us understand race. Looking at Fanon, I explore how a fundamental and overlooked ineffability in our relation to others impacts upon responses to racialized shame.     

The Descent of Shame1

Shame is a painful emotion concerned with failure to live up to certain standards, norms, or ideals. The subject feels that she falls in the regard of others; she feels watched and exposed. As a result, she feels bad about the person that she is. The most popular view of shame is that someone only feels ashamed if she fails to live up to standards, norms, or ideals that she, herself, accepts. In this paper, I provide support for a different view, according to which shame is about failure to live up to public expectations. Such a view of shame has difficulties explaining why an audience is central to shame, why shame concerns the self as a whole, and why the social rank of someone affects their ability to shame others. These features, I argue, are best explained by reference to the descent of shame in the emotion connected with submission in nonhuman animals. The function of submission—to appease relevant social others—also throws light on the sort of emotion that shame is. From the point of view of other people, a subject who experiences shame at her own failing is someone who is committed to living together with others in a socially sanctioned way. The argument is not that we must understand the nature of shame in terms of what it evolved for, but that its heritage is important to understanding the emotion that shame has become.     

A Lover’s Shame

Shame is one of the more painful consequences of loving someone; my beloved’s doing something immoral can cause me to be ashamed of her. The guiding thought behind this paper is that explaining this phenomenon can tell us something about what it means to love. The phenomenon of beloved-induced shame has been largely neglected by philosophers working on shame, most of whom conceive of shame as being a reflexive attitude. Bennett Helm has recently suggested that in order to account for beloved-induced shame, we should deny the reflexivity of shame. After arguing that Helm’s account is inadequate, I proceed to develop an account of beloved-induced shame that rightly preserves its reflexivity. A familiar feature of love is that it involves an evaluative dependence; when I love someone, my well-being depends upon her life’s going well. I argue that loving someone also involves a persistent tendency to believe that her life is going well, in the sense that she is a good person, that she is not prone to wickedness. Lovers are inclined, more strongly than they otherwise would be, to give their beloveds the moral benefit of the doubt. These two features of loving—an evaluative dependence and a persistent tendency to believe in the beloved’s moral goodness—provide the conditions for a lover to experience shame when he discovers that his beloved has morally transgressed.     

A study of the comparative structure of guilt and shame in a Chinese society.

On the basis of previous theoretical and empirical analyses of the comparative structures of guilt and shame, the authors hypothesized that antecedent condition (personal inadequacy vs. moral norm violation), audience presence, and personal responsibility attribution would distinguish shame from guilt. Although the subject population was Hong Kong Chinese, evidence from previous studies suggests that the comparative structures of guilt and shame are quite similar across cultures. The subjects were asked to recall either a guilt or a shame incident, and their responses were then coded into the predictor variables. The results of the study indicated that guilt was most likely to emerge when individuals had violated a moral norm and held themselves responsible for their conduct. In contrast, shame emerged more frequently when subjects felt personally inadequate than when they had violated moral norms. Moreover, when a guilt incident was reported, and audience was rarely mentioned, whereas subjects who reported a shame incident would generally feel personally responsible and often mentioned being looked at or evaluated. However, neither personal responsibility nor the presence of an audience seemed to be essential for a person to experience shame.     

Notes on shamelessness.

The effect of the decline of the sense of shame on the individual and on society is discussed. It is postulated that when the element of shame is changed in relation to instinctual drives, the later power of shame in preserving social cohesion is weakened, and a regression in some important functions of the ego results.     

Long‐Term Outcomes of Lesbian,Gay, Bisexual,and Transgender Recalled School Victimization

The authors examined relationships among recalled and current bullying, shame‐focused coping, and fear of negative evaluation in an adult lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) sample. Findings indicated that attack self, withdrawal, and attack other shame‐focused coping fully mediated the relationship between recalled bullying and fear of negative evaluation. Fear of negative evaluation and current bullying victimization were predicted by shame‐focused coping. Findings suggested the importance of addressing histories of school‐related bullying and shame‐focused coping when counseling LGBT persons.