Behavior expectations in cross‐sex friendships,same‐sex friendships,and romantic relationships

Abstract In 2 studies, university students from the United States rated the importance of 43 behavior expectations about their cross‐sex friends, same‐sex friends and romantic partners. In Study 1, all 399 participants had a current romantic partner, whereas in Study 2, romantic partner status varied across the 165 participants. Participants always rated their expectations for romantic partners higher than for either type of friend, and expectations for behaviors promoting emotional closeness were always rated higher than expectations about behaviors promoting social companionship or relationship positivity. In Study 2, expectations for cross‐sex friends were rated lower and more similar to same‐sex friends when participants had a current romantic partner than when they did not.     

DISTINGUISHED SCHOLAR ARTICLE Rethinking women's sexual orientation: An interdisciplinary,relationship‐focused approach

What leads some women to form romantic and sexual relationships with men, and other women to form intimate relationships with women? This article presents a new conceptual paradigm for understanding women's sexual orientation that is emerging from research in such diverse fields as social psychology, sex research, evolutionary psychology, attachment theory, and neuroscience. This approach acknowledges the potential plasticity of women's sexuality and the emphasis that women place on close relationships as a context for sexuality. Research also raises the possibility that for women the biological determinants of sexual desire, attraction, and attachment are not inherently linked to a partner's gender. This article begins with a brief survey of research on women's same‐sex romantic and sexual relationships not only in the United States today but also in other cultures and historical periods. These and other findings are used to critique prevailing conceptual models of women's sexual orientation. Finally, key elements in an alternative paradigm are described.     

Are you really just friends? Predicting the audience challenge in cross‐sex friendships

Cross‐sex friends experience a variety of challenges including the audience challenge: when cross‐sex friends are mistaken for a romantic couple by other members of their social network. This research sought to explore the various factors that might influence cross‐sex friends' experience of the audience challenge. Cross‐sex friends who were strictly platonic were less likely to experience the audience challenge and less likely to be concerned about the audience challenge than individuals in mutual romance, desires romance, or reject romance friendships. Regression analyses indicated cross‐sex friends tend to experience the audience challenge the least when their friendship network is supportive of cross‐sex friends. The relation between network support and the audience challenge is moderated by romantic desire and sexual activity.     

Touch attitudes in cross‐sex friendships: We're just friends

Results from this survey indicated that within heterosexual cross‐sex friendships, perceptions of friendship intimacy for females were more strongly tied to their positive attitudes toward: enacting and receiving more touch, enacting and receiving more safe haven (e.g., caretaking) touch, and perceiving touch as more sexually arousing, when compared to males. Females were more motivated not to touch their cross‐sex friends in public regardless of intimacy perceptions and did not positively perceive safe haven touch if they did not have a romantic partner. It is argued that males' and females' attitudes toward touch in cross‐sex friendships diverge due to evolved differences related to parental investment and the manner in which they are socialized to perceive their roles in cross‐sex friendships.     

Who Do We Tell and Whom Do We Tell On? Gossip as a Strategy for Status Enhancement1

College students ranked the interest value of 12 different gossip scenarios; likelihood of spreading the gossip; and the people to whom they would be most likely to tell the gossip, depending on whether the gossip was about male or female professors, relatives, friends, acquaintances, strangers, or a same‐sex rival or a romantic partner. Damaging, negative news about rivals and positive news about friends and lovers was especially prized and likely to be passed on. Aside from romantic partners, males and females were more interested in information about same‐sex others than about opposite‐sex others. Overall, men were most likely to confide in their romantic partners, but females were equally likely to share gossip with their lovers and their same‐sex friends.     

Gender and relationships: Influences on agentic and communal behaviors

The present research examined the moderating influence of situations involving friends and romantic partners on gender differences in interpersonal behaviors reflecting agency and communion. Behavior was studied in three situations varying in social role and dyadic gender composition: same‐sex friendships, opposite‐sex friendships, and romantic relationships. To obtain multiple events representing each relationship situation, participants recorded information about their interpersonal interactions during a 20‐day period using an event‐contingent recording procedure. Results indicated gender differences consistent with gender stereotypes when men and women were interacting with same‐sex friends; men with men were more dominant and women with women were more agreeable. In interactions with romantic partners, gender differences in communal behavior were opposite to gender stereotypes; women were less agreeable and more quarrelsome than men with their romantic partners. Results are considered in reference to developmental socialization theory, social role theory, and studies of gender differences in marital relationships.     

Love imagined: Working models of future romantic attachment in emerging adults

An attachment theory perspective guided this investigation of emerging adults' (N = 174) expectations regarding relational patterns in their future long‐term romantic relationships. Participants' working models of future romantic attachment were assessed by having them respond to an attachment measure with respect to an imagined future committed relationship. Dimensions of future attachment predicted participants' anticipated relationship dynamics in the imagined relationship, their focus on closeness and abandonment when writing about having a future long‐term relationship, and their change in state anxiety over the course of the study. These effects of future attachment remained statistically significant after controlling for current global attachment, parental caregiving sensitivity, and conflict between parents; most of these effects were not moderated by current dating status.     

Attachment,perceptions of care and caregiving to romantic partners and friends

Across two studies, we examined the extent to which adults' caregiving responses reflect the quality of care received from their attachment figures. Study 1 showed that romantic caregiving reflected the quality of perceived parental and partner care. Moreover, perceived partner care mediated the link between parental care and romantic caregiving, suggesting that one's parental care affects the type of care one seeks or receives from partners, which in turn affects one's romantic caregiving. This describes a possible process for the intergenerational transmission of caregiving styles. Romantic attachment anxiety was associated with compulsive caregiving to partners. Study 2 examined causal mechanisms by priming a representation of perceived peer care and examining its effect on caregiving responses. As hypothesized, caregiving responses reflected the quality of primed peer care and were associated with attachment orientation. Findings provide evidence that individuals mentally represent the thoughts, feelings and behaviours of the care‐seeker and the caregiver during interactions and both influence one's caregiving to partners and friends. Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Preference for Same‐ Versus Cross‐Sex Friendships1

How is preferring same‐ vs. cross‐sex friendships related to one's perceptions of these friendships? In Phase 1, college students (N = 122) listed qualities they valued in their same‐ and cross‐sex friends. In Phase 2, survey items constructed from the responses were administered to 231 students who indicated a preference for same‐ vs. cross‐sex friendship. Those who reported a preference for opposite‐sex friends rated these friendships as higher in closeness, trust, caring, having common interests, and providing narcissistic benefits, compared to those who reported a preference for same‐sex friends. Results demonstrate that gender differences often associated with close friendships are greatly attenuated and sometimes reversed when preference for same‐ vs. cross‐sex friendship is included as a moderating variable.     

Reassuring sex: Can sexual desire and intimacy reduce relationship‐specific attachment insecurities?

Past research has shown that attachment orientations shape sexual processes within relationships. Yet, little has been done to explore the opposite direction. In the present research, we examined whether sexual desire and emotional intimacy reduce attachment insecurities over time in emerging relationships. In an 8‐month longitudinal study, we followed 62 newly dating couples across three measurement waves. At Time 1, romantic partners discussed sexual aspects of their relationship and judges coded their displays of sexual desire and intimacy. Participants also completed measures of relationship‐specific attachment anxiety and avoidance in each wave. The results indicated that men's displays of desire predicted a decline in their own and their partner's relationship‐specific insecurities. Conversely, women's displays of desire inhibited the decline in their partner's relationship‐specific insecurities, whereas women's displays of intimacy predicted a decline in their partner's relationship‐specific insecurities. These findings suggest that different sex‐related processes underlie attachment formation in men and women.     

Dynamics of perceived social network support for same‐sex versus mixed‐sex relationships

Individuals in mixed‐sex (n = 248) and same‐sex (n = 159) romantic relationships completed several online questions for each member of their social network, including the member's perceived support for their romantic relationship. Those in same‐sex relationships perceived less support for their relationship, but only from family members, not from friends. Levels of relationship support were lower among subjectively more distant network members than among closer network members. As hypothesized, associations between perceived support for the relationship and relationship, mental, and physical well‐being were weaker for those in same‐sex compared to mixed‐sex relationships. Principles of social network management and attributional ambiguity were used to explain the findings.     

Same‐sex infidelity in heterosexual romantic relationships: Investigating emotional,relational, and communicative responses

The present study explores emotional, relational, and communicative responses to different‐sex and same‐sex infidelity in heterosexual romantic relationships. Two‐hundred and eighty‐five men and women completed an online survey. Individuals were asked to read a scenario in which an imagined heterosexual partner engages in infidelity with a different‐sex or same‐sex person. Individuals were randomly assigned to one of these two conditions and then asked to complete several measures assessing their imagined emotions, communicative responses, and relational outcomes. Results revealed that both men and women experienced more negative emotional responses to different‐sex infidelity versus same‐sex infidelity. Additionally, men reported more sexual arousal in response to a woman's same‐sex infidelity versus different‐sex infidelity, while women's sexual arousal did not vary across conditions. Lastly, men's communicative responses to jealousy (CRJs) for same‐sex and different‐sex infidelity did not vary, though women reported that they were more likely to respond to same‐sex infidelity than different‐sex infidelity with denial, and more likely to respond to different‐sex than same‐sex infidelity with signs of possession. Several emotional responses to same‐sex infidelity were also found to predict various CRJs. These findings and the implications of the study are discussed.     

Attachment dimensions and sexual motives

Little research has examined the relation between the attachment behavioral system and the sexual behavioral system, although these two systems, along with the caregiving system, are theorized to constitute romantic love ( Fraley & Shaver, 2000 ; Hazan & Shaver, 1987 ). College students (N = 400) completed measures of two dimensions of attachment style, anxiety and avoidance, and motives for having sex. Anxiety was predicted to be associated with having sex to reduce insecurity and foster intense intimacy. Avoidance was predicted to correlate inversely with having sex to foster intimacy and positively with nonromantic goals, such as increasing one's status and prestige among peers. The results supported both sets of predictions. People high on the attachment anxiety dimension reported having sex to reduce insecurity and establish intense closeness; people high on the attachment avoidance dimension reported having sex to impress their peer group, especially if they were having casual, uncommitted sex. Theoretical and practical implications of the findings are discussed.     

Attachment,sexual experience,and sexual pressure in romantic relationships: A dyadic approach

The goal of this research was to extend the previously documented associations between attachment style and sexual experiences in samples of adolescents and college students to adult couples in committed romantic relationships. A sample of 273 French‐Canadian heterosexual couples aged 18–35 years completed measures of attachment‐related anxiety and avoidance, sexual coercion, and sexual experiences in their relationships. Avoidant attachment was related to two strategies for limiting intimacy in sexual relationships: avoidance of sexual encounters and avoidance of sexual fantasies about one’s partner (the latter for women only). Anxious attachment appeared to interfere with comfortable intimacy, especially among men, who viewed their partner as avoiding sex and who applied more insistent pressure to have sex.     

Working models of romantic attachment and the subjective quality of social interactions across relational contexts

Two diary studies examined the effects of domain‐specific representations of romantic relationships (assessed using the Relationship Questionnaire in Study 1 and the Revised Experiences in Close Relationships questionnaire in Study 2) on the subjective quality of social interactions across four relational contexts: those with a romantic partner, family member, platonic friend, or acquaintance/other. In both studies, domain‐specific romantic attachment, particularly attachment avoidance, was more strongly related to subjective experiences of social interactions involving a romantic partner than those with family members, platonic friends, or acquaintances/others. These results complement previous diary research using earlier categorical measures of attachment and elaborate upon the contextual effects of the attachment behavioral system in naturally occurring social interactions with different relational partners. The conditions under which working models of different relationship domains should influence interpersonal functioning are discussed, and a context‐congruence hypothesis of attachment effects, which encompasses the current findings and generates further predictions, is detailed.     

Relationship work among young adult couples: Romantic,social, and physiological considerations

We examined romantic, social, and physiological variables associated with partners discussing romantic challenges together and with friends, a process known as relationship work (RW). Actor‐partner interdependence models examining 71 heterosexual, young adult couples and their friends suggested social network approval, friendship quality, and partners' perspective taking were each associated with partners' RW patterns. Skin conductance activity readings revealed males universally experienced greater physiological arousal when discussing romantic problems than females. Unexpectedly, both males and females experienced greater skin conductance activity when discussing romantic challenges with friends than with partners. Males were more likely to discuss romantic challenges with friends when their female partners experienced greater baseline skin conductance activity. Findings inform researchers regarding links between romantic, social, and physiological functioning.     

Predicting Romantic Interest at Zero Acquaintance: Evidence of Sex Differences in Trait Perception but Not in Predictors of Interest

We evaluated five competing hypotheses about what predicts romantic interest. Through a half‐block quasi‐experimental design, a large sample of young adults (i.e. responders; n = 335) viewed videos of opposite‐sex persons (i.e. targets) talking about themselves, and responders rated the targets' traits and their romantic interest in the target. We tested whether similarity, dissimilarity or overall trait levels on mate value, physical attractiveness, life history strategy and the Big Five personality factors predicted romantic interest at zero acquaintance and whether sex acted as a moderator. We tested the responders' individual perception of the targets' traits, in addition to the targets' own self‐reported trait levels and a consensus rating of the targets made by the responders. We used polynomial regression with response surface analysis within multilevel modelling to test support for each of the hypotheses. Results suggest a large sex difference in trait perception; when women rated men, they agreed in their perception more often than when men rated women. However, as a predictor of romantic interest, there were no sex differences. Only the responders' perception of the targets' physical attractiveness predicted romantic interest; specifically, responders' who rated the targets' physical attractiveness as higher than themselves reported more romantic interest. Copyright © 2017 European Association of Personality Psychology     

Misperception of sexual and romantic interests in opposite‐sex friendships: Four hypotheses

Two online studies evaluated the misperception of sexual and romantic interests in established relationships and tested four hypotheses: a simple sex‐difference hypothesis, a projection hypothesis, a mate value hypothesis, and a mediation hypothesis. Two hundred thirty‐eight (Study 1) and 198 (Study 2) members of young adult opposite‐sex friendship dyads indicated their sexual and romantic interests in their friend and their perceptions of their friend’s sexual and romantic interests in them. Participants projected their own levels of sexual and romantic interests onto their opposite‐sex friend, mediating the following effects: males overperceived and females underperceived their friends’ sexual (but not romantic) interest, and participants of both sexes misperceived the sexual (but not romantic) interest of friends depending on the friends’ mate value.     

The boundaries between attachment and personality: Associations across three levels of the attachment network

This research examined the associations between measures of sociotropic and autonomous personality, romantic attachment anxiety and avoidance, and corresponding attachment ratings across a range of different specific relationships with people whom participants regularly interacted (including romantic partners, friends, family members, and colleagues). Analyses using hierarchical linear modeling showed that sociotropy and autonomy were directly associated with respective ratings of relationship-specific anxiety and avoidance within non-romantic relationships. In contrast, domain-specific romantic attachment predicted relationship-specific attachment with romantic (but not non-romantic) partners, and, as hypothesized, mediated the associations between sociotropy and autonomy and relationship-specific attachment within this domain. Implications for the operationalization of sociotropy and autonomy as broad-bandwidth (personality-level) measures that assess more global summaries of regularities in the same dual dimensions identified in the attachment literature (i.e., attachment anxiety and avoidance) are discussed.