Negotiated nonmonogamy and male couples

One issue that has the potential to confound family or couples therapists working with male couples is the issue of nonmonogamy. For many therapists, sexual nonexclusivity challenges fundamental clinical assumptions that "affairs," or extra-relationship sex or romantic involvements, are symptoms of troubled relationships and are always a form of "sexual acting out." This article explores the issue of sexual exclusivity and nonexclusivity within male couples. In order to achieve both clinical and cultural competency in work with male couples, therapists need to challenge their cultural biases regarding monogamy.     

Gendered Power in Cultural Contexts: Part III. Couple Relationships in Iran

Sometimes therapists assume that gender equality is not relevant when working with couples from traditional cultures. This study of couples in Iran suggests more complexity. The authors identify a variety of views and practices regarding equality between men and women in relationships. Some aspired to traditional roles; others attempted to create mutually supportive relationships. Yet others were somewhere in-between. This study helps identify important dimensions that may be overlooked when we define couple equality only by American standards or understand it only through a Western lens. The study provides insight into the dilemmas couples face when ideals of equality intersect with societal structures that maintain gendered power and offers suggestions for addressing gender when working with couples with traditional cultural backgrounds.     

Money, Housework, Sex, and Conflict: Same-Sex Couples in Civil Unions, Those Not in Civil Unions, and Heterosexual Married Siblings

In this study we examined the division of finances, the division of household tasks, relationship maintenance behaviors, sexual activity, monogamy, and conflict among same-sex couples who had had civil unions in Vermont, same-sex couples who had not had civil unions recruited from their friendship circles, and married heterosexual couples recruited from among their siblings. Married heterosexuals had a more traditional, gendered division of finances, household tasks, and relationship maintenance behaviors, even though the heterosexuals were all siblings or in-laws of lesbians or gay men. Sexual orientation was a stronger predictor of the division of household tasks than was income difference within couples. Lesbians reported less frequent sexual activity than married heterosexual women, and gay men were less monogamous than married heterosexual men. Gay men in civil unions differed on a few variables from gay men not in civil unions, but there were no differences among lesbians.     

Couple Therapy in the Presence of Mental Disorders

Abstract

Mental disorders and relationship discord commonly occur together and couples where one or both parties suffer from a mental disorder are commonly seen in couple therapy. Symptoms of mental disorders can usefully be conceptualized cybernetically and viewed as part of negative feedback loops that couples become trapped in without denying the potential contribution of biological or other types of knowledge. Most of the existing research focuses on couples and depression and couple therapy has been found to have efficaciousness as a treatment of depression especially when depression occurs along with relationship discord. There is less research on couple therapy and other mental disorders but general guidelines are offered that couple therapists can use with any of the mental disorders.     

Marital therapy outcome measured by therapist, client, and behavior change

The present research examined marital therapy outcome, in a sample of 88 couples and 22 therapists, through the use of multidimensional criteria from multiple perspectives. Three paper-and-pencil patient self-report instruments were used to measure different aspects of the couple relationship. In addition, therapist post-therapy ratings and objective observer ratings of the couple behavior during therapy were obtained. Past debates about what the "right" criteria might be for measuring therapeutic change prompted our strategy. Special attention was focused on those criteria that could be classified as "inside" or "outside" of the couple relationship. Data analysis revealed a significant relationship between the couples' and therapists' ratings of improvement in therapy. Additionally, husband and wife negative acts (behaviors) in therapy were also significantly correlated with therapists' ratings of improvement. Both statistically significant and clinically significant criteria were employed to evaluate the therapy outcome. Improvement due to therapy as measured by the three self-report instruments varied from 38% to 58%. These differences appeared to stem from the different kinds of information yielded by the specific tests.     

Gender and the Construction of Intimacy among Committed Couples with Children

This study began with curiosity regarding how long‐term couples with children manage their relationships in view of changing societal demands and ideals. Couples interviewed for this study described the intersection of time and intimacy as a core issue. Thus, this analysis focused on how couples construct intimacy in shared time. The diverse sample included 17 heterosexual working and professional class couples in the United States who had been committed for at least 10 years and whose oldest child was aged 6–16. Analysis identified four types of shared time experiences: gender divided, elusive, growing, and emotionally connected. Four factors influenced these types: (a) negotiated gendered differences, (b) intentionality, (c) mutual attending, and (d) dyadic friendship. The most emotionally connected couples reported that time together reinforced satisfaction and pleasure from their relationships. Results help explain different ways couples successfully negotiate changing expectations for heterosexual relationships and why some couples struggle. Findings suggest that therapists help couples intentionally develop habits of friendship and mutual attending.     

The Infertility Resilience Model: Assessing Individual,Couple, and External Predictive Factors

Resilience in couples experiencing infertility is critical to decrease the impact of infertility-related stress and sustain positive interactions and collective perceptions in couples. The Infertility Resilience Model (IRM) presented in this article provides a framework within which various individual, couple, and external factors that influence resilience can be understood. Although numerous approaches have been applied to infertility, few of them have examined resilience and the interconnections between individual, couple, and external influences. The concepts and connections within the model can be used by clinicians for assessment and interventions when working with couples facing infertility.     

Gender Dilemmas and Myth in the Construction of Marital Bargains: Issues for Marital Therapy

Marital therapists are regularly confronted with issues of equality and fairness when working with couples. This article examines the social-contextual factors that influence couples' negotations about these issues. A common solution for couples, "the myth of equality," is identified, together with the processes that maintain it. The role of the therapist in relation to gender equality is addressed.     

All marriages are not maintained equally: Marital type,marital quality,and the use of maintenance behaviors

Although a growing amount of research has shown that married couples enact behaviors that maintain or preserve the relationship, little attention has examined how maintenance strategies are used in different types of marriages. This study investigated differences in the use of maintenance behaviors and in perceptions of marital quality across various marital types and explored the relationship between maintenance behaviors, marital types and key indicators of marital quality. Data collected from 141 married couples indicated that couples differed in the use of maintenance behaviors among various marital types. Further, the relationship between maintenance behaviors and perceptions of the key indicators of marital quality varied depending upon couples’ideological frameworks. The findings allow for a better picture of the use of maintenance behaviors in different types of marriages.     

Gendered Power in Cultural Contexts: Part II. Middle Class African American Heterosexual Couples with Young Children

When race and gender intersect, understanding gendered power may be complicated. The authors first describe the historical context that serves as important background for understanding gender and power in heterosexual African American relationships. Then they show how family solidarity in the face of social injustices often overrides gender equality as a goal for middle class African American couples with young children. The findings illustrate pragmatic equality within couple relationships and the willful suspension of gender roles for the well-being of the family as a whole. However, gendered power impacts couples in a variety of ways. Sometimes a woman's fear that the man might leave, for example, diminished her power in the relationship. Often a woman accommodated a man's greater power in the family because of her perception that he was often denied power in the larger society. Societal discrimination of women was less visible to couples. Implications for practice are provided.     

Commitment First,Communication Later: Dealing with Barriers to Effective Couples Therapy

Teaching communication techniques to couples is a common way for therapists to begin treatment. In many cases, couples then use these newly acquired skills to express negative or even hostile information to each other, sometimes doing more harm than good to the relationship. Based upon years of clinical experience with hundreds of couples in treatment, this article presents the idea that having the couple see themselves as an entity first, not as two individuals, may be necessary before clear communication can be maximally therapeutic. The article outlines the Couple Power model of treatment, suggesting that four basic tasks—commitment, cooperation, communication and community—need to be accomplished in that order, postponing the teaching of communication skills until later in therapy. Theory behind the tasks and suggestions for effective techniques to achieve the “Four C’s” of Couple Power are presented and discussed.     

Sexual Perfectionism and Women’s Sexual Assertiveness: Understanding the Unique Effects of Perfectionistic Expectations about Sex Originating from and Directed toward the Sexual Partner

Marriage has significantly changed since Becker proposed his specialization model yet some scholars maintain that specialization characterizes modern couples. Specialization occurs when one partner, traditionally the man, concentrates on market work while the other partner, traditionally the woman, focuses on nonmarket work such as housework or childcare. Using innovative time diary data from primarily highly-educated, White, dual-earner U.S. couples, we examine how couples manage their time in market and household work and leisure across a momentous, gendered life course turning point—the transition to parenthood. We find little evidence of specialization, but stronger evidence of nonspecialization where both partners concurrently engaged in market work or leisure. Yet gender still mattered. Men enjoyed more leisure time, particularly on nonworkdays, whereas their partners performed more nonmarket work. Our study is the first known to uncover exactly what men were doing while women performed additional minutes of housework and childcare. On nonworkdays, fathers engaged in leisure 47% and 35% of the time during which mothers performed childcare and routine housework, respectively. Mothers engaged in leisure only about 16% to 19% of the time that fathers performed childcare and routine housework. In sum, although our study challenges economic theories of specialization by suggesting that nonspecialization is the norm for new parents’ time among highly-educated, dual-earner couples, persistent gender inequalities continue to characterize family work and leisure time.     

Male Emotional Intimacy: How Therapeutic Men's Groups Can Enhance Couples Therapy

Men's difficulty with emotional intimacy is a problem that therapists regularly encounter in working with heterosexual couples in therapy. The first part of this article describes historical and cultural factors that contribute to this dilemma in men's marriages and same-sex friendships. Therapeutic men's groups can provide a corrective experience for men, helping them to develop emotional intimacy skills while augmenting their work in couples therapy. A model for such groups is presented, including guidelines for referral, screening, and collaboration with other therapists. Our therapeutic approach encourages relationship-based learning through direct emotional expression and supportive feedback. We emphasize the development of friendship skills , core attributes of friendship ( connection, communication, commitment, and cooperation ) that contribute to emotional intimacy in men's relationships. Case examples are included to illustrate how this model works in clinical practice, as well as specific suggestions for further study that could lead to a more evidence-based practice.     

Together or Apart

Psychotherapists often mistake their theories for realities that they are not and thus may operate with an overly confident sense of "knowing" what is true about a particular couple relationship. Many schools of therapy tend to "pathologize" the dynamics of couple interaction and practitioners need to guard against being too inducted into any one world view. Facility with the theories and techniques of many different couples counseling strategies (psychodynamic, behavioral, structural and strategic approaches) can increase flexibility and the "working base" of therapists. Ultimately, however, the personhood of therapists, their awareness of their own biases (about levels of connection, emotional expressivity, feminism, or power relationships) and their ability to adopt a neutral, therapeutic stance are the essential ingredients for meaningful and curative couples counseling.     

The Effectiveness of Therapy with Couples Reporting a History of Childhood Sexual Abuse: An Exploratory Study

The purpose of this pilot study was to explore the impact of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) on couples therapy. Participants were couples seeking therapy who were screened for CSA prior to therapy. Groups were compared using self-report and therapist-rated measures of individual and relational distress. Results indicate that although therapists report significant differences between CSA couples and couples not reporting abuse at the onset of therapy, those differences do not translate into significant differences in the perceived effectiveness of therapy as measured by change scores on therapist rated levels of distress, questions regarding the effectiveness of therapy, dropout, and length of treatment.     

Attachment insecurity and perceptions of housework: Associations with marital well-being.

This exploratory study examines the interactive effects of attachment insecurity and perceptions of housework on 2 dimensions of marital well-being--satisfaction and perceptions of fairness. Participants were 148 married couples obtained from an area probability sample as part of a larger study. Multilevel modeling analyses with the couple as the unit of analysis showed that women who scored high and men who scored low on the dimension of attachment anxiety and reported that their spouses performed more routine housework (i.e., prepares meals) also reported being over-benefited. Women who scored high and men who scored low on the dimension of attachment avoidance and reported that their spouses performed more intermittent housework (i.e., yard work) reported greater marital satisfaction. These results highlight the role of attachment orientations in explaining why perceptions of housework may have more or less prominent effects on marital well-being.     

Family-of-Origin Experiences and Conflict Resolution Behaviors of Young Adult Dating Couples

This study was conducted to explore the relationship among retrospective reports of family-of-origin functioning, reported perceptions of a laboratory-based conflict resolution discussion, and outsiders' ratings of communication behaviors between young adult dating couples, with a special focus on predicted gender differences. Sixty-three couples aged 18 to 24 participated in this study. A Revealed Differences task was used to elicit discussion about an issue identified as discordant for the couple on a Relationship Issue Questionnaire. Family-of-origin variables were related to both men's and women's perceptions of the conflict, as well as outsiders' ratings of their conflict resolution behaviors. However, the conflict resolution behaviors and perceptions of men and women were associated with distinctly different aspects of functioning in their families of origin. Further, women's families-of-origin factors were more prominent for the couples' communication behaviors because they indicated a greater number of significant correlations between the women's families of origin and: 1) perceptions of the conflict resolution discussion by both the men and women, and 2) the observed conflict resolution behaviors of both men and women. These findings are discussed in the context of both the relevant research and important social-political influences.