A developmental model of decisions to withhold relational irritations in romantic relationships

Intimacy in romantic relationships is argued to influence both the outcomes of decisions about whether to withhold relational irritations from partners and the role of various conflict avoidance motives in these decisions. A study of college students involved in dating relationships revealed a curvilinear association between perceptions of intimacy and the frequency of decisions to withhold irritations. Specifically, intimacy was negatively correlated with the proportion of Unexpressed irritations across low and average levels of intimacy; however, intimacy was unrelated to decisions to withhold irritations across higher levels of intimacy. Length of involvement in a relationship was negatively correlated with the proportion of unexpressed irritations within relatively non intimate relationships only. Finally, the effect of three conflict avoidance motives on decisions to withhold irritations varied with the perceived intimacy of relationships. In particular, reporting a lack of intimacy in the relationship as a reason for withholding irritations was positively correlated with the proportion of unexpressed irritations when intimacy was low, but negatively correlated with the proportion of unexpressed irritations when level of emotional commitment was high. In contrast, reporting either fear of consequences or the lack of importance of the problem as motives for withholding irritations was unrelated to the proportion of unexpressed irritations when intimacy was low, but was positively Correlated with withholding when intimacy was high. These results suggest that the phenomenological experience of conflict management decisions changes in substance throughout the life of the romantic relationship.     

情绪分享和感知恋人回应对亲密关系满意度的影响

研究通过问卷星收集了150对异性恋情侣的情绪分享、感知恋人回应、亲密关系满意度的数据,并采用行动者-对象互依模型进行统计分析。结果显示：（1）情绪分享通过感知恋人回应的中介作用影响亲密关系满意度。女性的积极情绪分享与男性的消极情绪分享直接正向影响自身亲密关系满意度。（2）男性的积极情绪分享正向影响女性的亲密关系满意度。研究揭示了亲密关系中情绪分享和感知恋人回应对关系满意度的影响特点。     

Personal Inadequacy and Intimacy Predictors of Men's Hostility Toward Women

In this study we examined social/personality and intimacy predictors of men's hostility toward women (HTW). The study was framed in terms of a projection model that suggests that men's feelings of inadequacy contribute to hostility toward women. The sample consisted of 172 college men. The strongest attitudinal predictors were measures of locus of control. These data support the feminist analysis of sexual violence as an issue of power and lend support to the proposed projection model in terms of perceived powerlessness. In addition, based on the projection model, intimacy predictors for best male friend and female romantic partner were examined. The strongest correlate of men's HTW was intellectual intimacy, which conceptually is more related to the idea of an egalitarian relationship than other aspects of intimacy and may be most inhibited in men who are hostile toward women's intimate relationships.     

Accurate and biased perceptions of responsive support predict well-being

The current research examined effects of accurate and biased perceptions of romantic partners’ responsive support provision on perceivers’ well-being. Perceivers discussed a personal problem with their romantic partners (“targets”). Perceivers’ perceptions of targets’ responsive support following the discussion were related to external indicators of targets’ behavior, but these perceptions also were predicted by perceivers’ sentiments toward targets, suggesting that processes underlying perceivers’ perceptions were a blend of both accuracy and bias. In addition, both accurately perceived and biased perceptions of targets’ responsiveness predicted perceivers’ personal well-being (i.e., affect, coping, self-efficacy) and interpersonal well-being (i.e., more positive sentiments toward targets) immediately after the support interaction, 2 weeks later, and 6 months later. Results suggest that accurate and biased cognition during interpersonal interactions can have important consequences for perceivers’ personal and interpersonal well-being through effects on perceived partner responsiveness.     

Generalized and specific attachment representations: unique and interactive roles in predicting conflict behaviors in close relationships

The authors expected that associations between the representations individuals possess regarding romantic partners and their conflict behavior would be moderated by generalized attachment representations (GAR). To test this premise, college students (N =130) were administered two attachment measures and were observed during conflict negotiation with their partners. The Relationship Styles Questionnaire assessed specific representations regarding partners and GAR were measured by the Adult Attachment Interview. The relationship between romantic partner representations and conflict tactics were dependent on GAR. Individuals who possessed secure GAR generally displayed good conflict management skills, regardless of their attachment representations regarding their romantic partners. Individuals who held more anxious or avoidant perceptions of romantic partners displayed more problematic conflict tactics if they possessed insecure GAR; however, these associations were dependent on the type of conflict behavior and the type of insecure GAR. Implications for future research are discussed.     

Initial Validation of Measures of Sanctification in Same‐Sex Romantic Relationships and Sexual Behavior

Researchers have created reliable and valid scales of the sanctification of romantic relationships and sexual behavior of opposite‐sex couples. The goal of the present study is to assess the reliability and validity of sanctification measures within same‐sex romantic relationships. Measures of sanctification and relationship adjustment were given to 256 persons in same‐sex romantic relationships living in the United States. Both sanctification measures had Cronbach alpha values above 0.80. Sanctification related to relationship adjustment in expected ways. Controlling for demographic variables, general religiosity, and self‐perceived spirituality, the sanctification of a same‐sex romantic relationship was associated with greater investment in the partnership, emotional intimacy toward one's partner, and relationship satisfaction. Sanctifying same‐sex sexual behavior related to more frequent sex and more positive emotions toward sex, after controlling for demographic variables, general religiosity, and perceived spirituality. Implications and suggestions for future research are discussed.     

Personal characteristics,relationship quality,and social support perceptions and behavior in young adult romantic relationships

This study investigated three questions: (1) Do both personal characteristics and perceived qualities of romantic relationships contribute to partners’perceptions of support? (2) Do these variables predict supportive behavior in partner interactions that can be observed by others? (3) How do situational characteristics affect the predictors of observed supportive behavior? Eighty-six university undergraduates and their romantic partners completed a questionnaire packet and participated in a structured videotaped interaction that included a stress-inducing intervention. Participants’perceived support from the relationship was predicted by participants’own personal characteristics and view of the relationship, as well as by partners’personal characteristics. Observed supportive behavior in a somewhat familiar task was related to personal characteristics of both partners and their views of the relationship. Supportive behavior after an experimenter-administered stressor was predicted only by the couple's personal characteristics. Results demonstrate how study of social support in close relationships can advance understanding of relations between support perception and support receipt.     

Romantic relationships: do socially anxious individuals benefit?

Psychological health and interpersonal functioning mutually influence each other. Social anxiety has a pervasive effect on interpersonal functioning, resulting in smaller social networks, increased likelihood of being single or divorced, and less intimacy in relationships. However, little is known about how relationships affect socially anxious individuals in return. We utilized a structured interview to assess how romantic relationships were perceived as influencing three aspects of psychological health (well-being, social anxiety and comfort in social situations) and whether these patterns differed as a function of social anxiety in an undergraduate sample. The perceived importance of several reasons for these effects, including those that could be characterized as both protective and harmful, was also assessed. Relationships were perceived as having contributed positively in each domain. However, when positive and negative reasons were examined separately, socially anxious individuals reported benefiting more from the positive reasons and being harmed more by negative reasons. Further, social anxiety was associated with endorsing certain reasons as important.     

Extended contact through cross‐group romantic relationships

Cross‐group romantic relationships are an extremely intimate and often maligned form of intergroup contact. Yet, according to intergroup contact theory, these relationships have the potential to improve the intergroup attitudes of others via extended contact. This study combines the interpersonal and intergroup literatures to examine the outcomes associated with knowing a partner in a cross‐group romantic relationship. Results suggest that cross‐group romantic partners encounter greater disapproval toward their relationships than same‐group partners and, as a result, their relationships are perceived more negatively. Nevertheless, extended contact with cross‐group partners, controlling for participants' cross‐group friendships and romantic relationships, predicts more positive attitudes toward cross‐group dating and positive intergroup attitudes in general, mediated by perceived ingroup norms toward cross‐group relationships.     

How sweet it is to be loved by you: the role of perceived regard in the terror management of close relationships

Drawing from terror management theory, the present research examined whether people turn to close relationships to manage the awareness of mortality because they serve as a source of perceived regard. Studies 1 and 2 demonstrated that mortality salience (MS) leads people to exaggerate how positively their romantic partners see them and demonstrated that people are more committed to their partners to the extent that their romantic partners serve as a source of perceived regard after MS (Study 3). Study 4 revealed that activating thoughts of perceived regard from a partner in response to MS reduced death-thought accessibility. Studies 5 and 6 demonstrated that MS led high relationship contingent self-esteem individuals to exaggerate perceived regard from a partner, and this heightened regard led to greater commitment to one's partner. Study 7 examined attachment style differences and found that after MS, anxious individuals exaggerated how positively their parents see them, whereas secure individuals exaggerated how positively their romantic partners see them. Together, the present results suggest that perceptions of regard play an important role in why people pursue close relationships in the face of existential concerns.     

Psychological Correlates of Support for Compromise: A Polling Study of Jewish-Israeli Attitudes toward Solutions to the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

A representative national sampling of Israeli Jewish adults (n = 550) reported attitudes toward solutions of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that were salient in Israeli public discourse in 2002. Negative attitudes toward compromise were associated with zero-sum threat perceptions of the conflict with Palestinians, such that improvement for the Palestinian side can only come at the expense of the Israeli side. Positive attitudes toward compromise were associated with feelings of sympathy toward Palestinians, but, surprisingly, attitudes toward compromise were not associated with feelings of fear toward Palestinians. The possibility is advanced that it is fear of harm to the group, not fear of harm to self and family, that is related to willingness to compromise. Zero-sum perceptions of collective threat were not strongly related to affective reactions, and, contrary to a realist analysis of intergroup conflict, sympathy for Palestinians predicted support for compromise beyond what zero-sum perceptions of threat could predict.     

Rejection sensitivity and male violence in romantic relationships

Rejection sensitivity is the disposition to anxiously expect, readily perceive, and intensely react to rejection by significant others. A model of the role of this disposition in male violence toward romantic partners is proposed. Specifically, it is proposed that rejection sensitivity is a vulnerability factor for two distinct maladaptive styles of coping with intimate relationships. Rejection‐sensitive men may attempt to prevent anticipated rejection by reducing their investment in intimate relationships. Alternatively, they may become highly invested in intimate relationships in search of an unconditionally supportive partner. Their low threshold for perceiving and overreacting to rejection, however, heightens their risk of responding aggressively to their partners’negative or ambiguous behavior. Cross‐sectional data from 217 male college students supported predictions derived from the model. Among college men who reported relatively high investment in romantic relationships, anxious expectations of rejection predicted dating violence. Among men who reported relatively low investment in romantic relationships, anxious expectations of rejection predicted reduced involvement in discretionary close relationships with friends and romantic partners and, more generally, increased distress in and avoidance of social situations.     

Optimism in close relationships: How seeing things in a positive light makes them so

Does expecting positive outcomes--especially in important life domains such as relationships--make these positive outcomes more likely? In a longitudinal study of dating couples, the authors tested whether optimists (who have a cognitive disposition to expect positive outcomes) and their romantic partners are more satisfied in their relationships, and if so, whether this is due to optimists perceiving greater support from their partners. In cross-sectional analyses, both optimists and their partners indicated greater relationship satisfaction, an effect that was mediated by optimists' greater perceived support. When the couples engaged in a conflict conversation, optimists and their partners saw each other as engaging more constructively during the conflict, which in turn led both partners to feel that the conflict was better resolved 1 week later. In a 1-year follow-up, men's optimism predicted relationship status. Effects of optimism were mediated by the optimists' perceived support, which appears to promote a variety of beneficial processes in romantic relationships.     

Social Anxiety Disorder and Perceived Criticism in Intimate Relationships: Comparisons With Normal and Clinical Control Groups

Individuals with social anxiety disorder (SAD) have difficulties in their romantic relationships, including decreased satisfaction and intimacy, but the reasons for these difficulties are poorly understood. Because fear of negative evaluation is a cardinal feature of SAD, perceived criticism from a romantic partner may play a central role in socially anxious individuals’ relationships. In the present study, we compared levels of perceived, expressed, and observed criticism and reactions to criticism among individuals with SAD and their partners (n = 21), individuals with other anxiety disorders and their partners (n = 35), and couples free of psychopathology (n = 30). Participants rated both global criticism and criticism during a 10-minute problem-solving task, which was also coded for criticism by observers. Individuals with anxiety disorders showed elevated levels of interaction-specific perceived criticism, expressed criticism, and upset and stress due to criticism relative to normal controls; they also reported that the interaction was more stressful. However, there were no group differences on global measures of criticism, and the two anxious groups did not differ on any measures. Findings suggest that the high levels of criticism anxious individuals perceive and their corresponding negative reactions to criticism, though not specific to SAD, may account for some of the relationship difficulties that have been identified in SAD. Results also indicate that anxious individuals may contribute to their relationship difficulties by being highly critical themselves. Overall, our findings point to the need for a clinical focus on decreasing perceived criticism among individuals with anxiety disorders.     

Positive crossover: Parent perceived partner responsiveness and health of youth with asthma

Romantic relationship functioning has implications that extend beyond the romantic dyad. This study tests whether a key positive aspect of relationships, perceived partner responsiveness, can cross over from parents' romantic relationships to children's health and well-being via parenting behavior. In a sample of 112 youth with asthma and their primary caregivers, when caregivers perceived higher partner responsiveness in their romantic relationship, youth experienced improved self-reported asthma symptoms, pulmonary functioning, and positive affect. The associations were robust while controlling for parents' relationship conflict and other relevant covariates, except for the pulmonary functioning outcome, which was instead predicted by parents' conflict. However, parenting behavior (i.e., positive and negative parenting) did not appear to mediate these links. This work highlights the importance of positive romantic relationship processes for youth health and well-being, emphasizing the relevance of clinical intervention work and the need to continue investigating mechanisms through which these processes may be linked.     

Seeking security or growth: a regulatory focus perspective on motivations in romantic relationships

Using a multimethod approach, we examined how regulatory focus shapes people's perceptual, behavioral, and emotional responses in different situations in romantic relationships. We first examined how chronic regulatory focus affects romantic partners' support perceptions and problem-solving behaviors while they were engaged in a conflict resolution discussion (Study 1). Next, we experimentally manipulated regulatory focus and tested its effects on partner perceptions when individuals recalled a prior conflict resolution discussion (Study 2). We then examined how chronic regulatory focus influences individuals' emotional responses to hypothetical relationship events (Study 3) and identified specific partner behaviors to which people should respond with regulatory goal-congruent emotions (Study 4). Strongly prevention-focused people perceived their partners as more distancing and less supportive during conflict (Studies 1 and 2), approached conflict resolution by discussing the details related to the conflict (Study 1), and experienced a negative relationship outcome with more agitation (Study 3). Strongly promotion-focused people perceived their partners as more supportive and less distancing (Studies 1 and 2), displayed more creative conflict resolution behavior (Study 1), and experienced a negative relationship outcome with more sadness and a favorable outcome with more positive emotions (Study 3). In Study 4, recalling irresponsible and responsible partner behaviors was associated with experiencing more prevention-focused emotions, whereas recalling affectionate and neglectful partner behaviors was associated with more promotion-focused emotions. The findings show that regulatory focus and approach-avoidance motivations influence certain interpersonal processes in similar ways, but regulatory focus theory also generates novel predictions on which approach-avoidance models are silent.     

Psychological Intimacy in the Lasting Relationships of Heterosexual and Same-Gender Couples

This research focused on the meaning of psychological intimacy to partners in heterosexual and same-gender relationships that have lasted for an average of 30 years. In-depth interviews were used to explore the meaning of intimacy to 216 partners in 108 relationships. The participants were whites, blacks, and Mexican-Americans, with Catholic, Jewish, and Protestant religious backgrounds; they were employed in both blue- and white collar occupations.Psychological intimacy was defined as the sense that one could be open and honest in talking with a partner about personal thoughts and feelings not usually expressed in other relationships. Factors that had a significant role in shaping the quality of psychological intimacy in the last 5 to 10 years of these relationships (recent years) were the absence of major conflict, a confrontive conflict management style between partners, a sense of fairness about the relationship, and the expression of physical affection between partners. Women in same-gender relationships, compared to their heterosexual and gay counterparts, were more likely to report that psychologically intimate communication characterized their relationships. The findings are important for understanding factors that contribute to psychological intimacy in long-term relationships and how the gender roles of partners may shape the quality of psychological intimacy in heterosexual and same-gender relationships.     

Perceptions of conflict and support in romantic relationships: the role of attachment anxiety

Guided by attachment theory, a 2-part study was conducted to test how perceptions of relationship-based conflict and support are associated with relationship satisfaction/closeness and future quality. Dating partners completed diaries for 14 days (Part 1) and then were videotaped while discussing a major problem that occurred during the diary study (Part 2). Part 1 reveals that more anxiously attached individuals perceived more conflict with their dating partners and reported a tendency for conflicts to escalate in severity. Perceptions of daily relationship-based conflicts negatively impacted the perceived satisfaction/closeness and relationship futures of highly anxious individuals, whereas perceptions of greater daily support had positive effects. Part 2 reveals that highly anxious individuals appeared more distressed and escalated the severity of conflicts (rated by observers) and reported feeling more distressed. The authors discuss the unique features of attachment anxiety and how changing perceptions of relationship satisfaction/closeness and stability could erode commitment over time.     

Perceiving and Wanting to Be Valued by Others: Implications for Cognition,Motivation, and Behavior in Romantic Relationships

Two studies examined implications of two individual differences—perception of being valued by others and desire to be valued by others—for romantic relationships. Study 1 included 171 participants involved in romantic relationships (59 males, 112 females) and examined attributions and behavioral intentions in hypothetical scenarios. Study 2 involved 160 heterosexual couples who completed daily reports and/or an observed conflict discussion. Perception of being valued by others and desire to be valued by others independently predicted more pro‐relationship responses and reduced relationship‐destructive responses, including more care, commitment, and regard for partners; more responsive and ingratiating behavior; less negative behavior; and more positive perceptions and behavioral intentions. Perceived and desired interpersonal value were related to attachment anxiety, attachment avoidance, and trait self‐esteem. However, perceived and desired interpersonal value were superior predictors of relationship outcomes, even in replications of foundational attachment studies. Individual differences in believing that one is valued by others and wanting to be valued by others independently predict relationship maintenance, and these dimensions may be at the core of many effects of attachment dimensions and self‐esteem. These individual differences appear to be important aspects of personality that guide cognition, motivation, and behavior in interpersonal relationships.     

Love and anger in romantic relationships: a discrete systems model

In a study of 124 dating couples, we tested a discrete systems model of the functions of two emotion systems in romantic relationships: love and anger/upset. This model posits that the operation of these systems reflects adaptations shaped by natural selection to solve different adaptive problems. Accordingly, we hypothesized that the love and anger/upset emotion systems would be largely independent in the classes of information they track in romantic relationships, in the psychological mechanisms that process that information, and in the resultant behavior generated. Consistent with the discrete systems model, and in contrast to a competing "crossover" model, differences across relationships in feelings of love covaried with differences in strategic facilitation but not in strategic interference by partners. Similarly, differences in feelings of anger/upset during conflict covaried with differences in strategic interference but not strategic facilitation. In turn, feelings of love predicted commitment-promoting behavior but not partner-directed aggression, whereas levels of anger/upset predicted aggression but not commitment. As also predicted by our model, the love and anger/upset emotion systems converged to predict relationship satisfaction.