Perceived,not actual,similarity predicts initial attraction in a live romantic context: Evidence from the speed‐dating paradigm

The “similarity‐attraction” effect stands as one of the most well‐known findings in social psychology. However, some research contends that perceived but not actual similarity influences attraction. The current study is the first to examine the effects of actual and perceived similarity simultaneously during a face‐to‐face initial romantic encounter. Participants attending a speed‐dating event interacted with ～12 members of the opposite sex for 4 min each. Actual and perceived similarity for each pair were calculated from questionnaire responses assessed before the event and after each date. Data revealed that perceived, but not actual, similarity significantly predicted romantic liking in this speed‐dating context. Furthermore, perceived similarity was a far weaker predictor of attraction when assessed using specific traits rather than generally.     

Modeling dating decisions in a mock swiping paradigm: An examination of participant and target characteristics

New online dating platforms, such as Tinder, are dramatically changing the context in which people seek romantic relationships. In these platforms, users select partners they are willing to start a conversation with by “swiping” on them. These platforms provide exciting possibilities for applying new methods to test how user (e.g., demographic, personality) and target/partner (e.g., attractiveness, race) factors predict attraction. Across four laboratory studies (total N = 2,679), target physical attractiveness and target race were the largest predictors of decisions in this hypothetical dating context, whereas user individual difference traits were poor predictors. The current studies provide substantive information about the factors that predict romantic attraction in the context of mobile-based dating applications.     

Individual differences in dispositional mindfulness and initial romantic attraction: A speed dating experiment

Initial romantic attraction has important implications for the development of romantic relationships. Much research demonstrates that physical attractiveness predicts initial romantic attraction. However, less is known about the influence of individual difference characteristics on initial romantic attraction. Here we examined whether dispositional mindfulness predicted initial romantic attraction beyond the effects of physical attractiveness in a speed-dating experiment. Women were more attracted to men higher in dispositional mindfulness, beyond the effects of physical attractiveness. Men were more attracted to women who were more physically attractive, but female mindfulness did not influence male initial attraction. This is the first study to examine the role of dispositional mindfulness in predicting initial romantic attraction.     

DISTINGUISHED SCHOLAR ARTICLE Rethinking women's sexual orientation: An interdisciplinary,relationship‐focused approach

What leads some women to form romantic and sexual relationships with men, and other women to form intimate relationships with women? This article presents a new conceptual paradigm for understanding women's sexual orientation that is emerging from research in such diverse fields as social psychology, sex research, evolutionary psychology, attachment theory, and neuroscience. This approach acknowledges the potential plasticity of women's sexuality and the emphasis that women place on close relationships as a context for sexuality. Research also raises the possibility that for women the biological determinants of sexual desire, attraction, and attachment are not inherently linked to a partner's gender. This article begins with a brief survey of research on women's same‐sex romantic and sexual relationships not only in the United States today but also in other cultures and historical periods. These and other findings are used to critique prevailing conceptual models of women's sexual orientation. Finally, key elements in an alternative paradigm are described.     

The adult attachment interview and self‐reports of romantic attachment: Associations across domains and methods

Two lines of research on adult attachment have emerged; both are based on Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory, which in turn relies on evolutionary theory. Investigators in one tradition use the Adult Attachment Interview (AAI) to assess “state of mind with respect to attachment.” The AAI has been validated primarily by its ability to predict the attachment classification of an interviewee's child in Ainsworth's “strange situation.” Investigators in the second tradition use self‐report measures to assess romantic “attachment style.” The self‐report measures have been validated by their ability to predict features of romantic/marital relationships. Although the two constructs. state of mind and romantic attachment, are importantly different and so would not be expected to relate highly, some of their components, especially ability to depend on attachment figures, should be related if both stem from a person's attachment history. We report associations between components, or aspects, of the two measures. Overlap occurs mainly in the areas of comfort depending on attachment figures and comfort serving as an attachment figure for others. Implications of the findings for attachment theory and research, as well as for evolutionary psychology, are discussed.     

“Be careful what you wish for…”: A quantitative and qualitative investigation of “fata1 attractions”

This study uses questionnaire data from 301 terminated romantic relationships to investigate hypotheses concerning the conditions under which a quality that is initially appealing in a partner is later disliked (i.e., a “fatal attraction”). Individuals are expected to be prone to fatal attractions when they are attracted to a quality in a romantic partner that is “different” in any of three ways: (1) different from the individual's own qualities (i.e., dissimilar); (2) different from average (i.e., extreme, or unique); or (3) different from normative expectations (i.e., gender atypical). Such attractions are less likely, however, when individuals are drawn to similarity in another. Findings from a logistic regression analysis provide support for four of the five hypotheses. Fatal attractions are significantly more likely when an individual is drawn to partner characteristics seen either as “dissimilar” from her or his own, as “unique,” or as “extreme” in nature. When these characteristics are viewed as “similar,” disenchantment is less likely. Fatal attractions are neither more, nor less, probable, however, when partner qualities contradict gender stereotypes. A qualitative analysis of open-ended questionnaire responses provides further support for these attraction patterns. The findings have implications for diverse theories, including those of mate selection and dialectics.     

Online dating system design and relational decision making: Choice,algorithms, and control

One of the most popular ways to initiate romantic relationships today is through online dating. Typical dating systems follow one of three formats, see‐and‐screen (e.g., Match.com ), algorithm (e.g., eHarmony.com ), and blended (e.g., OkCupid.com ), which differ in the amount of individual control and algorithmic involvement they offer users. Do different features affect daters' decisions and expectations regarding relational development with selected partners? Study 1 indicated that although daters appreciated the personal control over mate selection afforded by see‐and‐screen systems, they also enjoyed using algorithmic systems. Study 2 found that blended systems provided “the best of both worlds” by offering dual benefits of control and algorithmic validation during mate selection. Findings shed light on self‐determination theory, decision making, and relationship formation more broadly.     

A tutorial on analyzing data from speed‐dating studies with heterosexual dyads

Speed‐dating studies provide a useful venue for studying attraction and other relationship initiation processes. They provide researchers with a unique opportunity to assess how much a dyadic behavior (e.g., attraction) is due to some relationship‐specific adjustment or the dispositional tendencies of the two people interacting. Researchers can also investigate the impact of individual difference variables on relationship initiation outcomes. This article shows researchers how to address such interesting questions by providing an extended treatment of how to apply the social relations model (D. A. Kenny & L. La Voie, 1984) to data from a typical speed‐dating study with heterosexual dyads. The statistical program SPSS is used given its widespread use and accessibility.     

Relationship Quality,Commitment, and Stability in Long‐Distance Relationships

Using a nationally representative sample (N = 870), the present study compared long‐distance romantic relationships to close‐proximity romantic relationships in terms of relationship quality, commitment, and stability. Individuals in long‐distance relationships generally reported higher levels of relationship quality on a number of relationship quality variables, as well as higher levels of dedication to their relationships and lower levels of feeling trapped (i.e., felt constraint), but were similar to individuals in close‐proximity relationships in terms of perceived and material constraints. Although individuals in long‐distance relationships perceived a lower likelihood of breaking up with their partner at the initial time point, they were as likely as the individuals in close‐proximity relationships to have broken up by the follow‐up assessment.     

From dating to mating and relating: Predictors of initial and long‐term outcomes of speed‐dating in a community sample

We studied initial and long‐term outcomes of speed‐dating over a period of 1 year in a community sample involving 382 participants aged 18–54 years. They were followed from their initial choices of dating partners up to later mating (sexual intercourse) and relating (romantic relationship). Using Social Relations Model analyses, we examined evolutionarily informed hypotheses on both individual and dyadic effects of participants' physical characteristics, personality, education and income on their dating, mating and relating. Both men and women based their choices mainly on the dating partners' physical attractiveness, and women additionally on men's sociosexuality, openness to experience, shyness, education and income. Choosiness increased with age in men, decreased with age in women and was positively related to popularity among the other sex, but mainly for men. Partner similarity had only weak effects on dating success. The chance for mating with a speed‐dating partner was 6%, and was increased by men's short‐term mating interest; the chance for relating was 4%, and was increased by women's long‐term mating interest. Copyright © 2010 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

The Predictive Validity of Ideal Partner Preferences in Relationship Formation: What We Know,What We Don't Know,and Why It Matters

A great deal of research on interpersonal attraction implicitly assumes that stated ideal partner preferences guide the mate selection, and therefore relationship formation, process. Nevertheless, recent research has yielded contradictory results. Whereas some research has failed to demonstrate that ideal partner preferences influence attraction to actual potential romantic partners, other studies have provided empirical evidence for the predictive validity of ideal partner preferences following interactions with potential romantic partners. A new meta‐analysis on the predictive validity of ideal partner preferences concluded that people may not preferentially pursue potential partners that more closely match their stated preferences. This conclusion has significant implications for several empirical literatures that have relied on self‐reported ideal partner preferences to test hypotheses. We demonstrate, however, that the majority of the research on the predictive validity of ideal partner preferences, and thus research included in this meta‐analysis, focuses on interpersonal attraction or later relationship processes and not on individuals transitioning into actual new relationships. We suggest that research that directly focuses on the transition into actual relationships is needed before firm conclusions can be made regarding the predictive validity of ideal partner preferences in the formation of new relationships.     

Rejection sensitivity and male violence in romantic relationships

Rejection sensitivity is the disposition to anxiously expect, readily perceive, and intensely react to rejection by significant others. A model of the role of this disposition in male violence toward romantic partners is proposed. Specifically, it is proposed that rejection sensitivity is a vulnerability factor for two distinct maladaptive styles of coping with intimate relationships. Rejection‐sensitive men may attempt to prevent anticipated rejection by reducing their investment in intimate relationships. Alternatively, they may become highly invested in intimate relationships in search of an unconditionally supportive partner. Their low threshold for perceiving and overreacting to rejection, however, heightens their risk of responding aggressively to their partners’negative or ambiguous behavior. Cross‐sectional data from 217 male college students supported predictions derived from the model. Among college men who reported relatively high investment in romantic relationships, anxious expectations of rejection predicted dating violence. Among men who reported relatively low investment in romantic relationships, anxious expectations of rejection predicted reduced involvement in discretionary close relationships with friends and romantic partners and, more generally, increased distress in and avoidance of social situations.     

Costs and satisfaction in close relationships: The role of loss–gain framing

Two studies were conducted to clarify the pattern of mixed results found in past research regarding the association between costs and satisfaction in close relationships. Insights from Prospect Theory (D. Kahneman & A. Tversky, 1979, 2000) suggested the importance of gain–loss framing in understanding costs. When costs are attached to valued outcomes, they are perceived as gains or investments; otherwise they are perceived as losses. Appreciation by one's partner for communal behaviors and family chores provided the basis for exploring costs as gains versus losses. We hypothesized that when costs were appreciated, the greater the costs, the greater the relationship satisfaction; whereas when they were not appreciated, the greater the costs, the lower the relationship satisfaction. Further, we expected appreciation to be associated with perceived motives for incurring the costs: positively with “want” perceptions and negatively with “should” perceptions. These hypotheses were supported in research with both dating couples and women in long‐term marital or cohabiting relationships and using two types of communal behaviors: Partner Favors and more tedious Family Chores. In general, the greater the number of communal behaviors and family chores, the greater the relationship satisfaction when appreciated; the greater the number, the lower the satisfaction when relatively unappreciated.     

From “I Want To Hold Your Hand” to “Promiscuous”: Sexual Stereotypes in Popular Music Lyrics, 1960–2008

Media content analyses indicate that gender-based differences in sexuality are common and consistent with gender stereotypes. Specifically, women are expected to focus on love and romantic relationships and have sexually objectified bodies, while men are expected to focus on sexual behavior. Although decades of research have documented the presence of these stereotypes in a broad variety of visual media, much less is known about the content of popular music lyrics. Relying on a database of 1250 songs across five decades (the top 50 songs from even-numbered years from 1960 through 2008), we documented the presence or absence of a dating relationship, the word “love” (and its uses), sexual activity, and sexual objectification of females and males (separately). Analyses revealed that the vast majority of songs addressed at least one of these themes, primarily dating relationships. Although female performers were proportionally more likely to address romantic relationships than male performers, raw counts reversed this pattern because male performers substantially outnumbered female performers. Males were proportionally more likely to sing about sexual behavior and to objectify both females and males. References to romantic relationships became less common over time, while references to sexual behavior and objectified bodies became more common. Content varied across genres, with rap being the least likely to reference dating and most likely to reference sexual behavior. Implications for sexual development are discussed.     

Adolescents’ Conceptions of the Influence of Romantic Relationships on Friendships

Although researchers have investigated how adolescents’ friendships affect their romantic relationships, the influence of romantic relationships on friendships is unexamined. As a first step, 9th- (n = 198) and 11th grade students (n = 152) reported on their conceptions of friendship when one friend had a romantic relationship and when neither friend had a romantic relationship. As predicted, adolescents believed friendships in which a friend was dating would be characterized by less positive features and more negative features than friendships in which neither friend was dating. Additionally, older adolescents thought romantic relationships were more damaging to companionship and corumination than did younger adolescents. The closer nature of older adolescents’ romantic relationships may result in lower quality friendships or older adolescents may be more aware of the potential negative consequences of romantic relationships for friendships. Girls viewed friendships as higher in conflict-rivalry and lower in corumination when one friend was dating while boys did not. And although girls and boys viewed friendships as lower in intimacy and companionship when a friend has a romantic partner, the difference was greater for girls than boys. Girls may be more sensitive to the effects of a friend's romantic relationship on their friendship than are boys. Findings necessitate theories of close relationships that incorporate age and gender as important variables.     

Relationship status and elevated avuncularity in Samoan fa’afafine

“Androphilia” and “gynephilia” refer to sexual attraction to adult males and females, respectively. Samoan androphilic males are known as fa’afafine. Previously, fa’afafine reported greater avuncular tendencies compared to those of men as well as the materteral (i.e., aunt‐like) tendencies of women. Here, the Samoan male sexual orientation difference in avuncular tendencies was replicated. Furthermore, we hypothesized fa’afafine might form and invest in intimate sexual/romantic relationships less, leaving them with more resources, thus facilitating increased avuncularity. Fa’afafine, men, and women were comparable for sexual/romantic relationship involvement. Men and women tended to lower avuncular/materteral tendencies when involved in sexual/romantic relationships, which partially mediated the difference between fa’afafine and women for avuncular/materteral tendencies. Discussion detailed alternate explanations for elevated avuncularity among Samoan fa’afafine.     

大学生依恋焦虑与抑郁的关系:恋爱中关系攻击和关系质量的序列中介作用

浪漫关系中的关系攻击指通过操纵或损害关系以达到伤害浪漫关系伴侣的行为。本文以628名处于恋爱关系中的大学生为被试,探讨了依恋焦虑与抑郁之间的关系,并考察了恋爱中的关系攻击和恋爱关系质量在其中的序列中介作用。结果表明:(1)大学生依恋焦虑对抑郁有显著的正向预测作用;(2)关系攻击和关系质量在大学生依恋焦虑与抑郁之间分别发挥着单独中介作用;(3)关系攻击和关系质量在大学生依恋焦虑与抑郁之间发挥着序列中介作用。研究结果验证了依恋焦虑个体在关系中的“自我实现预言”模型,同时能够为大学生心理健康教育提供实践指导。     

Attraction increases and decreases as a function of emotion-attribution and appropriate social cues

To study the impact of startle-induced arousal on attraction, blindfolded subjects in a “vestibular function” study were startled by a loud noise accompanying the sudden backward tilt of the dental chair in which they were seated. In Study I, startled male subjects indicated (on a “postexperimental” questionnaire) greater attraction toward a pretty female experimenter than did control subjects. Study II demonstrated the reverse, with startled male subjects disliking a male experimenter more than controls. In Study III, female subjects startled by a male experimenter indicated greater attraction than controls, although the pattern of their responses differed from males. While an attempt to induce misattribution of arousal to a (placebo) pill (Study IV) or to a noise (Study V) with “arousal” side effects resulted in negligible attenuation effects on the startle—attraction relationship, in Study VI the imposition of a delay period between startle and experimenter ratings resulted in reduced ratings of attraction. The role of arousal in romantic attraction is briefly discussed, and the relevance of these data to theories of emotion is considered.     

Thinking about commitment: Accessibility of commitment and prediction of relationship persistence,accommodation, and willingness to sacrifice

Research has demonstrated that more accessible cognitive constructs (e.g., attitudes, stereotypes) are more likely to influence thoughts and behaviors. The current research applies a social cognition framework to the prediction of romantic relationship persistence (i.e., “stay‐leave” behavior), accommodation, and willingness to sacrifice. Conceptualizing commitment as a partially cognitive construct and following from social cognition and attitudinal research, we hypothesized that the accessibility of commitment will moderate the association between commitment and relationship persistence, accommodative responses, and willingness to sacrifice. In Study 1, participants in romantic relationships responded to statements derived from the commitment subscale of the Investment Model Scale. Reaction times to these statements were used as a measure of accessibility of commitment. In addition, participants completed measures of their commitment level. Seven months later, participants were contacted and relationship persistence was assessed. Accessibility of commitment significantly moderated the association between commitment and relationship persistence. Study 2 expanded on the results of the first study by demonstrating that accessibility of commitment also significantly moderated the association between commitment and accommodation and willingness to sacrifice. Taken together, these two studies highlight the usefulness of applying social cognitive concepts to understand close relationships.