Addressing Culture,Gender, and Power with Asian American Couples: Application of Socio‐Emotional Relationship Therapy

Asian Americans juggle the intersections of multiple social identities and societal discourses as they respond to experiences of immigration, marginalization, and patriarchy, integrate collectivist and individualistic family values, and form families and intimate relationships. In this study we examine what we have learned as we apply Socio‐Emotional Relationship Therapy (SERT) with heterosexual couples of Asian heritage. SERT begins with sociocultural attunement and the assumption that relationships should mutually support each partner. Drawing on case examples, we illustrate how we practice sociocultural attunement as couples respond to the relational processes that comprise the Circle of Care (mutual influence, vulnerability, attunement, and shared relational responsibility). We emphasize three key socioemotional themes that intersect with gender: (1) intangible loss; (2) quiet fortitude/not burdening others; and (3) duty to the family.     

Gay and Lesbian Couples in Italy: Comparisons with Heterosexual Couples

Assessing couple relationships across diverse languages and cultures has important implications for both clinical intervention and prevention. This is especially true for nontraditional relationships potentially subject to various expressions of negative societal evaluation or bias. Few empirically validated measures of relationship functioning have been developed for cross‐cultural applications, and none have been examined for their psychometric sufficiency for evaluating same‐sex couples across different languages and cultures. The current study examined the psychometric properties of an Italian translation of the Marital Satisfaction Inventory – Revised (MSI‐R), a 150‐item 13‐scale measure of couple relationship functioning, for its use in assessing the intimate relationships of gay and lesbian couples in Italy. Results for these couples were compared to data from heterosexual married and unmarried cohabiting couples from the same geographical region, as well as to previously published data for gay, lesbian, and unmarried heterosexual couples from the United States. Findings suggest that, despite unique societal pressures confronting Italian same‐sex couples, these relationships appear resilient and fare well both overall and in specific domains of functioning compared to heterosexual couples both in Italy and the United States.     

Intimacies: An Integrative Multicultural Framework for Couple Therapy

Implicitly or explicitly, our ideas about intimacy are the most fundamental notions giving direction to the process of couple therapy. Yet, as a field, we have spent little time conceptualizing intimacy and even less time considering the diversity of priorities and meanings couples bring to our offices. In Part One, Varieties of Intimacy, I describe a kaleidoscope of contexts—socio‐historical, cultural, gender, life cycle, and developmental—that inform our ideas and expectations for intimacy in couples’ relationships. I highlight different spheres in which intimacy may take place such as the emotional, sexual, intellectual, or familial. I propose a starting point in which the therapist, in a collaborative manner, helps the partners articulate their yearnings and priorities in order to negotiate a shared vision. In Part Two, Conceptualizing Intimacy, I suggest an experiential definition that gives room for each partner's subjective meanings, yet consider diverse relational processes that may need to be addressed for a resilient ebb and flow of intimate experiences. In Part Three , Sexual Intimacy, I outline conditions in which sex is more likely to be experienced as intimate rather than nonintimate. Finally, in Part Four, I describe Therapeutic Principles to guide the therapist in taking couples from reactivity to dialogue to negotiations of intimacy. The integrative framework proposed here discourages monolithic a priori notions of intimacy and highlights instead: nuanced meanings, relational processes to be considered differentially, present and past emotional blocks, and a flexible clinical approach to foster conditions for the creation and resilience of intimate experiences.     

Treatment‐as‐Usual for Couples: Trajectories Before and After Beginning Couple Therapy

Couple therapy has been shown to be a meaningful way to improve couples’ relationships. However, less information is known about couples’ functioning prior to entering treatment in community settings, as well as how their relationship functioning changes from initiating therapy onward. This study examined 87 couples who began community‐based couple therapy during a longitudinal study of couples in the military. The couples were assessed six times over the course of 3 years, including time points before and after starting couple therapy. Using an interrupted‐time series design, we examined trajectories across the start of couple therapy in relationship satisfaction, divorce proneness, and negative communication. The results demonstrated that couples’ relationship satisfaction was declining and both divorce proneness and negative communication were increasing prior to entering couple therapy. After starting couple therapy, couples’ functioning on all three variables leveled off but did not show further change, but previous experience in relationship education moderated these effects. Specifically, those who were assigned to the relationship education program (vs. control) demonstrated greater reductions in divorce proneness and greater increases marital satisfaction after starting therapy; however, they also started more distressed.     

Relationship Quality with Parents: Implications for Own and Partner Well‐Being in Middle‐Aged Couples

Relationships with parents have significant implications for well‐being throughout the lifespan. At midlife, these ties are situated within both developmental and family contexts that often involve the adult offspring's spouse. Yet, it is not known how ties with aging parents are related to psychological well‐being within middle‐aged couples. This study examined how middle‐aged wives’ and husbands’ views of the current quality of relationships with their own parents (positive and negative) are linked to their own and their partner's psychological well‐being. Using a sample of 132 middle‐aged couples from Wave 1 of the Family Exchanges Study, we estimated actor–partner interdependence models to evaluate these dyadic associations while controlling for each spouse's marital satisfaction. Both actor and partner effects were observed. With respect to actor effects, wives who reported more negative relationship quality with their own parents had elevated depressive symptoms and lower life satisfaction. Husbands who reported more negative relationship quality with their own parents had lower life satisfaction. In terms of partner effects, husbands had lower depressive symptoms and greater life satisfaction when wives reported more positive relationship quality with their own parents. Finally, the link between wives’ positive ties with parents and husbands’ lower depressive symptoms was intensified when husbands had less positive relationships with their own parents. Findings suggest that relationship quality with wives’ aging parents has implications for both spouses’ well‐being and may serve as a critical social resource for husbands.     

Three-year follow-up of same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont, same-sex couples not in civil unions, and heterosexual married couples

This study was a 3-year follow-up of 65 male and 138 female same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont during the 1st year of that legislation. These couples were compared with 23 male and 61 female same-sex couples in their friendship circles who did not have civil unions and with 55 heterosexual married couples (1 member of each was a sibling to a member of a civil union couple). Despite the legalized nature of their relationships, civil union couples did not differ on any measure from same-sex couples who were not in civil unions. However, same-sex couples not in civil unions were more likely to have ended their relationships than same-sex civil union or heterosexual married couples. Compared with heterosexual married participants, both types of same-sex couples reported greater relationship quality, compatibility, and intimacy and lower levels of conflict. Longitudinal predictors of relationship quality at Time 2 included less conflict, greater level of outness, and a shorter relationship length for men in same-sex relationships and included less conflict and more frequent sex for women in same-sex relationships at Time 1.     

Differentiation of Self and Dyadic Adjustment in Couple Relationships: A Dyadic Analysis Using the Actor‐Partner Interdependence Model

Bowen's multigenerational theory provides an account of how the internalization of experiences within the family of origin promotes development of the ability to maintain a distinct self whilst also making intimate connections with others. Differentiated people can maintain their I‐position in intimate relationships. They can remain calm in conflictual relationships, resolve relational problems effectively, and reach compromises. Fusion with others, emotional cut‐off, and emotional reactivity instead are common reactions to relational stress in undifferentiated people. Emotional reactivity is the tendency to react to stressors with irrational and intense emotional arousal. Fusion with others is an excessive emotional involvement in significant relationships, whilst emotional cut‐off is the tendency to manage relationship anxiety through physical and emotional distance. This study is based on Bowen's theory, starting from the assumption that dyadic adjustment can be affected both by a member's differentiation of self (actor effect) and by his or her partner's differentiation of self (partner effect). We used the Actor‐Partner Interdependence Model to study the relationship between differentiation of self and dyadic adjustment in a convenience sample of 137 heterosexual Italian couples (nonindependent, dyadic data). The couples completed the Differentiation of Self Inventory and the Dyadic Adjustment Scale. Men's dyadic adjustment depended only on their personal I‐position, whereas women's dyadic adjustment was affected by their personal I‐position and emotional cut‐off as well as by their partner's I‐position and emotional cut‐off. The empirical and clinical implications of the results are discussed.     

Cooperation or Tension? Dyadic Coping in Cystic Fibrosis

Following a rise in the life expectancy of cystic fibrosis (CF) patients, many adults with CF form couple relationships. Yet, dyadic coping has not been previously examined in people with CF. This study examined how adults with CF and their partners cope as a couple with the illness, and what meanings each partner and the couple as a unit attribute to the experience. Seventeen adult CF patients and their partners participated in separate semi‐structured in‐depth interviews. Two main patterns of dyadic coping with CF were identified as follows: cooperation and tension. For couples in cooperation, the marital relationship served as a resource for adaptive coping. These couples were characterized by similarities in their perception of the place of CF in their lives and of their roles in the marital relationship. Couples in tension described the couple relationship as strained by difficulty of accepting the disease, proliferation of negative emotions, and a sense of burden and loneliness in the process of coping. Findings point to the importance of mutual empathy, clear and accepted division of roles between the partners, and open communication for facilitating coping as a couple.     

Trauma Symptoms,Communication, and Relationship Satisfaction in Military Couples

Trauma symptoms are negatively correlated with couple relationship satisfaction, which is of particular importance in the relationships of military personnel who are often exposed to trauma whilst on overseas deployment. This study tested a model in which communication mediated an association between trauma symptoms and low relationship satisfaction. Thirty‐one Australian military couples were observationally assessed during a communication task, and assessed on their relationship satisfaction and individual functioning. As expected, trauma symptoms in the male military spouse were associated with low satisfaction in both spouses. Females’ low positive communication fully mediated the relationship between males’ trauma symptoms and low female satisfaction, but not male relationship satisfaction. Unexpectedly, males’ negative communication behaviors were associated with high male relationship satisfaction, and partially mediated the association between trauma symptoms and male satisfaction. Discussion focused on how some communication usually thought of as negative might be associated with relationship satisfaction in military couples.     

Male Emotional Intimacy: How Therapeutic Men's Groups Can Enhance Couples Therapy

Men's difficulty with emotional intimacy is a problem that therapists regularly encounter in working with heterosexual couples in therapy. The first part of this article describes historical and cultural factors that contribute to this dilemma in men's marriages and same-sex friendships. Therapeutic men's groups can provide a corrective experience for men, helping them to develop emotional intimacy skills while augmenting their work in couples therapy. A model for such groups is presented, including guidelines for referral, screening, and collaboration with other therapists. Our therapeutic approach encourages relationship-based learning through direct emotional expression and supportive feedback. We emphasize the development of friendship skills , core attributes of friendship ( connection, communication, commitment, and cooperation ) that contribute to emotional intimacy in men's relationships. Case examples are included to illustrate how this model works in clinical practice, as well as specific suggestions for further study that could lead to a more evidence-based practice.     

If We Build It,They Will Come: Exploring Policy and Practice Implications of Public Support for Couple and Relationship Education for Lower Income and Relationally Distressed Couples

Over the past decade, public funding for Couple and Relationship Education programs has expanded. As program administrators have been able to extend their reach to low‐income individuals and couples using this support, it has become apparent that greater numbers of relationally distressed couples are attending classes than previously anticipated. Because psychoeducational programs for couples have traditionally served less distressed couples, this dynamic highlights the need to examine the policy and practice implications of more distressed couples accessing these services. This paper reviews some of the most immediate issues, including screening for domestic violence and couple needs, pedagogical considerations, and the potential integration of therapy and education services. We also make suggestions for future research that can inform policy and practice efforts.     

The Meaning of the Sperm Donor for Heterosexual Couples: Confirming the Position of the Father

In the literature, relatively little attention has been paid to the meaning of donor involvement in the intimate couple dyad. The current study aimed to enrich our understanding of couples' meaning‐making regarding the anonymous sperm donor and how they dealt with the donor involvement. Semi‐structured interviews were conducted with nine couples, who had at least one child conceived through sperm donation. Our thematic analysis showed that the donor conception was seen as a different path to create a normal family. Once the family was formed, most couples avoided talking about the donor because it was perceived as disrupting men's growing confidence in their position as father. Participants tried to confirm the position of the father to protect the family relationships. Uncertainties about how they were perceived as parents showed the continuing dominance of genetic ties within our social discourse. Participants also dealt with reminders of the donor in their daily life. Overall, they tried to manage the space taken up by the donor and to protect the position of the father. We relate our findings to literature on topic avoidance and shared obliviousness in families. For counseling practice, it could be useful to explore couples' meaning‐making about the donor as this seemed to serve family functioning.     

Recruitment and Retention of Low‐SES Ethnic Minority Couples in Intervention Research at the Transition to Parenthood

Low‐SES couples have limited resources to manage the chronic and acute stressors with which they are disproportionately faced. Although these couples are at greater risk for negative individual and relationship outcomes, evaluations of the impact of couple relationship education (CRE) in low‐SES couples have been plagued by methodological problems, most notably challenges associated with recruitment and retention. We review the literature on challenges couples face associated with low‐SES, as well as on recruitment, retention, and CRE in low‐SES, ethnic minority populations. We illustrate some of these challenges in a case study of CRE for low‐SES couples transitioning to parenthood. In this pilot study, 21 couples were recruited from a community health clinic and randomized to either an experimental treatment condition (EXP; N = 11) or a treatment‐as‐usual control condition (TAU; N = 10). This study sought to mitigate documented challenges with recruitment and retention: We leveraged community partnerships, attempted to build and maintain strong relationships with study participants, provided incentives for assessments as well as intervention meetings, and attempted to reduce potential barriers to enrollment and retention. Nonetheless, we had low rates of recruitment and retention. We integrate these findings and experiences with our review of previous work in this area. We make recommendations for future CRE research and practice that have potential implications for public policy in this area.     

Escalation and Regulation of Emotional Arousal in Couples Predicts Relationship Satisfaction Concurrently and 25 Years Later

Relationship distress and divorce are major risk factors for the development or exacerbation of psychopathology and psychosocial impairments. Given that heightened negative emotions within couples’ interactions may portend negative relationship outcomes, it is critical to understand how emotions unfold across a conversation and how partners may influence each other’s immediate emotional experiences. This study examined whether these regulatory dynamics within one interaction predicted relationship satisfaction concurrently and 25 years later. Vocally‐encoded emotional arousal (f₀) was measured during couples’ (N = 25 couples) conversations about a relationship issue. Across different analytical strategies, results demonstrate that one partner’s f₀ dynamics had immediate and long‐term associations with the other partner’s satisfaction. Partners were less satisfied if the other partner (a) expressed higher f₀ overall and (b) escalated more in f₀ across the conversation. Yet, partners were more satisfied when their f₀ escalated across the conversation. Also, women specifically were more satisfied if their f₀ remained elevated longer before regulating back to their emotional baseline. Thus, higher f₀ was associated with higher satisfaction in the same partner, but associated with less satisfaction in the other partner—particularly when these emotions come from women. It may be that partners have to decide whether to prioritize expressing their emotions fully or limit expression in the service of their partner’s happiness. These findings challenge us to think of ways to address this “win–lose” scenario so that couples can balance both partners’ emotional needs and preserve relationship quality across the life span.     

Relationship Education for Military Couples: Recommendations for Best Practice

Military couples have a number of distinctive strengths and challenges that are likely to influence their relationship adjustment. Military couples' strengths include stable employment, financial security, and subsidized health and counseling services. At the same time, military couples often experience long periods of separation and associated difficulties with emotional disconnect, trauma symptoms, and reintegrating the family. This paper describes best practice recommendations for working with military couples, including: addressing the distinctive challenges of the military lifestyle, ensuring program delivery is seen as relevant by military couples, and providing relationship education in formats that enhance the accessibility of programs.     

Longitudinal Associations among Parental Acceptance,Familism Values,and Sibling Intimacy in Mexican‐Origin Families

Prospective associations among parent – adolescent acceptance and familism values in early and middle adolescence and sibling intimacy in late adolescence and young adulthood were assessed in 246 Mexican‐origin families. Older sibling gender and sibling gender constellation were investigated as moderators of these associations. Sibling intimacy was stable over time and younger siblings with older sisters reported higher levels of sibling intimacy than those with older brothers. As predicted, stronger familism values were associated with greater sibling intimacy, but this link was evident only for older sisters and for girl‐girl dyads. The links from mother‐ and father‐acceptance to sibling intimacy also depended on the gender constellation of the sibling dyad: Higher levels of maternal warmth were associated with greater sibling intimacy for older sisters and girl‐girl sibling pairs but higher levels of paternal warmth were linked to greater sibling intimacy only for older siblings in mixed‐gender sibling dyads. Findings are consistent with prior research on the role of gender in family relationships but extend this work to encompass the effects of both parents' and siblings' gender, as well as the role of sociocultural values in parents' socialization influences.     

Neuroticism and Marital Satisfaction During the Early Years of Chinese Marriage: The Mediating Roles of Marital Attribution and Aggression

On the basis of three annual waves of data obtained from 268 Chinese couples, we tested an actor–partner interdependence mediation model in which spouses’ neuroticism was linked to their own and partners’ marital satisfaction through both intrapersonal processes (i.e., marital attribution) and interpersonal processes (i.e., marital aggression). Considering intra‐ and interpersonal processes simultaneously, four indirect, mediating pathways were identified: Time 1 Wives’ Neuroticism → Time 2 Wives’ Attribution or Aggression, while controlling for Time 1 Wives’ Attribution or Aggression → Time 3 Wives’ or Husbands’ Marital Satisfaction, while controlling for Time 1 Wives’ or Husbands’ Marital Satisfaction. This study not only adds to a limited body of research examining why neuroticism is associated with conjugal well‐being, but also extends prior research by focusing on Chinese couples and utilizing a longitudinal, dyadic mediation model. Such findings have important practical implications. Couples involving neurotic partners may benefit from interventions based on cognitive‐behavioral approaches. When working with couples challenged by neuroticism, practitioners need to help them address dysfunctional interactive patterns as well as distorted cognitive styles.     

Bidirectional Associations Between Newlyweds' Marital Satisfaction and Marital Problems over Time

Prevailing views of marital functioning generally adopt the view that marital problems predict decreases in marital satisfaction, but alternative theoretical perspectives raise the possibility that lowered satisfaction can also predict increases in problems. The current study sought to integrate and compare these perspectives by examining the bidirectional cross‐lagged associations between newlyweds' reports of their marital satisfaction and marital problems over the first 4 years of marriage. Using annual assessments from 483 heterosexual newlywed couples, we find evidence for problem‐to‐satisfaction linkages as well as satisfaction‐to‐problem linkages. Satisfaction was a stronger predictor of marital problems early in marriage but not as time passed; by Year 4 only problem‐to‐satisfaction linkages remained significant. These findings are consistent with the idea that couples with more problems go on to report lower levels of satisfaction and couples with lower levels of satisfaction go on to report more marital problems. This dynamic interplay between global judgments about relationship satisfaction and ongoing specific relationship difficulties highlights the value of examining bidirectional effects to better understand marital functioning over time.     

Couples with Intimate Partner Violence Seeking Relationship Help: Associations and Implications for Self‐Help and Online Interventions

In‐person conjoint treatments for relationship distress are effective at increasing relationship satisfaction, and newly developed online programs are showing promising results. However, couples reporting even low levels intimate partner violence (IPV) are traditionally excluded from these interventions. To improve the availability of couple‐based treatment for couples with IPV, the present study sought to determine whether associations with IPV found in community samples generalized to couples seeking help for their relationship and whether web‐based interventions for relationship distressed worked equally well for couples with IPV. In the first aim, in a sample of 2,797 individuals who were seeking online help for their relationship, the levels and correlates of both low‐intensity and clinically significant IPV largely matched what is found in community samples. In the second aim, in a sample of 300 couples who were randomly assigned to a web‐based intervention or a waitlist control group, low‐impact IPV did not moderate the effects of the intervention for relationship distress. Therefore, web‐based interventions may be an effective (and easily accessible) intervention for relationship distress for couples with low‐intensity IPV.     

Attachment Versus Differentiation: The Contemporary Couple Therapy Debate

This paper reviews the current debate between differentiation and attachment in treating couples through exploring the tenets of crucible therapy (Schnarch, 1991) and emotionally focused couple therapy (Johnson, 2004). We provide a review of the two theories—as well as the two “pure form” example models—and explore the debate in light of the integrative movement in couple and family therapy (Lebow, 2014). We also examine points of convergence of the two theories and models, and provide clinicians and researchers with an enhanced understanding of their divergent positions. Both differentiation and attachment are developmental theories that highlight the human experience of balancing individuality and connection in adulthood. The two models converge in terms of metaconcepts that pervade their respective theories and approach. Both models capitalize on the depth and importance of the therapeutic relationship, and provide rich case conceptualization and processes of therapy. However, they substantially differ in terms of how they view the fundamental aspects of adult development, have vastly divergent approaches to how a therapist intervenes in the room, and different ideas of how a healthy couple should function. In light of the deep polarization of the two models, points of integration—particularly between the broader theories of attachment and differentiation—are offered for therapists to consider.