Defining and Distinguishing Sexual and Emotional Infidelity

Researchers studying interpersonal relationships often distinguish between “sexual infidelity” and “emotional infidelity.” Yet, it remains largely unclear whether and how individuals actually conceptualize these constructs in their own lives, and how men and women vary, if at all, in their definitions and understanding of different types of infidelity. The current research used a mixed-methodology approach to explore the epistemological nature of sexual infidelity and emotional infidelity. In Study 1, 379 participants provided open-ended definitions of what they believe constitutes sexual infidelity and emotional infidelity. In Study 2, responses were then coded by a different group of outside raters to examine overall themes in the definitions provided and how prototypical these definitions were for each type of infidelity. Results identified and examined the definitions with the highest mean ratings in terms of how well they represented emotional infidelity or sexual infidelity. Overall, both men and women had more consistency in their definitions of what constituted sexual infidelity than on what constituted emotional infidelity, suggesting that emotional infidelity is a more vague and complex concept than sexual infidelity. Additionally, when asked to define sexual and emotional infidelity, many participants focused on specific behaviors (including deception), but when asked to consider the types of infidelity as distinct from each other, participants focused on feelings. By exploring how individuals actually define these constructs, these data provide a more accurate and rich depiction of how individuals define acts of infidelity than currently exists in the relationship literature.     

Intervening with Military Couples Struggling with Issues of Sexual Infidelity

Both the prevalence and adverse impact of infidelity argue for the importance of disseminating evidence-based interventions for couples struggling with this highly disruptive event. We describe an integrative approach for promoting recovery from infidelity drawing on empirically supported treatments for couple distress as well as empirical literature regarding recovery from interpersonal trauma and recovery from relationship injuries. We then describe a structured 8 session adaptation of this protocol tailored to military couples struggling with issues of infidelity. Reaching these high-risk couples requires extending both the availability and efficacy of services delivered by professionals within the military from diverse disciplines. We present initial findings indicating that US Army chaplains receiving training in this structured protocol not only can learn information regarding the conceptual underpinnings and specific interventions comprising this treatment, but also can apply it appropriately in analog clinical situations. We conclude with suggestions for extending dissemination efforts to reduce acute adverse consequences experienced by service members and their partners experiencing infidelity.     

Family-of-Origin,Sexual Attitudes,and Perceptions of Infidelity: A Mediation Analysis

Abstract

The purpose of this study was to examine the influence family of origin and sexual attitudes have on perceptions of infidelity through a mediation analysis to test whether sexual attitudes mediates the relationship between family of origin attitudes and perceptions of infidelity. Results indicated that family of origin attitudes were linked with higher permissive sexual attitudes and lower perceptions of infidelity. Additionally, results indicated an indirect link between family of origin attitudes and perceptions of infidelity through sexual attitudes. These findings align with previous research examining how family of origin influences the occurrence of infidelity and provides insight to helping professionals as they address infidelity in romantic relationships.     

Infidelity

SUMMARY

In this article, we provide an overview of infidelity theory, research, and treatment. We discuss the effect of infidelity on couples and delineate three types of infidelityemotional, physical, and infidelity including aspects of both. Further, we expand traditional thinking about infidelity by reviewing the role of the Internet in infidelity, and explore infidelity within the context of comarital relationships. Finally, we discuss the overarching theories and common models used in infidelity treatment.     

Understanding Infidelity: How Perceptions of Infidelity Behaviors Vary by Sex and One's Own Infidelity Experiences

This study examines (1) how previous history with infidelity influences perceptions of cheating behaviors, and (2) sex's impact on ratings of cheating behaviors. A total of 83 undergraduate students enrolled in psychology courses volunteered to participate through an anonymous online survey. Participants rated sexual and emotional behaviors on a scale that ranged from “always” to “never,” indicating if the behavior was perceived as cheating. Individuals that had previous experience with infidelity either as the involved or non-involved partner rated sexual behaviors higher than those with no experience with infidelity, while non-involved partners rated emotional behaviors higher than the rest. Overall, females rated sexual and emotional behaviors higher than males. Non-involved males rated sexual behaviors higher than non-involved female partners. However, males who have not committed an infidelity rated sexual behaviors lower than any other group. The results provide further evidence that perceptions of cheating behaviors are influenced by gender and one's own history of infidelity, including both involved and non-involved roles.     

Marital Infidelity

SUMMARY

This paper describes die usual course of discovered marital infidelity and its predictable posttraumatic reaction. It contrasts this phenomenon with situations in which the initial reaction to discovery is suppressed, leading to a delayed traumatic reaction. It concludes with suggestions for the treatment of a delayed traumatic reaction, and suggestions designed to sensitize therapists to the possibility of a suppressed reaction to marital infidelity as a possible underlying issue in individual or couples therapy.     

Internet Infidelity

SUMMARY

We used a multi-phase Delphi methodology to identify and explore critical issues, interventions, and gender differences in the treatment of Internet infidelity. We developed three representative vignettes related to Internet infidelity and asked twenty experts in extramarital affairs and/or sex addiction to respond to them, both through ratings and open-ended comments. We found little agreement among the experts. We discuss the unique features of Internet relationships, the areas of agreement and disagreement that we found among the experts, and the implications of our findings and the nature of Internet infidelity for both practice and training in marriage and family therapy.     

Parental Conflict and Infidelity as Predictors of Adult Children's Attachment Style and Infidelity

The purpose of this study was to conduct a quantitative analysis examining the impact of parental infidelity and conflict on the adult child's internal working models and romantic attachment style. Using a convenience sample of 150 undergraduates, we found no significant difference in the internal working models of adult children with and without knowledge of parental infidelity. Individuals who reported their parents as conflictual had a more negative view of self and of others. Additionally, adult children who had knowledge of their father's infidelity were more likely to engage in infidelity than adult children without such knowledge.     

Assessing the Relationship Between Differentiation and Infidelity

SUMMARY

Differentiation and infidelity have been theoretically related. However, few studies have tested whether the concepts in differentiation are statistically related to infidelity. One hundred nineteen participants in the present study completed two inventories assessing their level of differentiation and engaging in infidelity. Two-step structural equation modeling is used to determine the degree to which differentiation relates to infidelity. Results indicated that, though differentiation may be part of a plausible model of infidelity behavior, there are potentially other models that may be relevant in engaging in infidelity. The findings and implications are discussed.     

Jealousy,Infidelity, and the Difficulty of Diagnosing Pathology: A CBT Approach to Coping with Sexual Betrayal and the Green-Eyed Monster

Humans have evolved adaptations for infidelity, as well defenses against a partner’s betrayal—centrally the emotion of jealousy. Both create problems that bring couples to therapy. Diagnosing jealousy as pathological versus normal turns out to be difficult, in part because infidelity has evolved to be concealed from the betrayed mate, which creates a signal detection problem. Because missing an infidelity committed by a mate has been more costly in evolutionary currencies than falsely suspecting a partner of cheating, selection has created an error management cognitive bias to over-infer a partner’s betrayal. Moreover, adaptations for jealousy become activated by predictors of infidelity, such as mate value discrepancies, when no actual infidelities have occurred. Cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) offers several ways to deal with these complexities. One way is to highlight potential mismatches, distinguishing between jealous emotions that were functional in ancestral environments but are less so in modern environments. A second is to distinguish between the goal of personal well-being and reproductive outcomes. Understanding the evolutionary logic of jealousy, in short, provides patients with conceptual tools for cognitively reframing jealousy and infidelity.     

Sex Differences in Self-reported Infidelity and its Correlates

We examined sex differences in the prevalence, incidence, reasons for, and consequences of infidelity. Participants (Study 1, 543 undergraduates in the Northwestern US; Study 2, 313 undergraduates and 233 community members in the Mid-Atlantic US), reported on infidelity by questionnaire. Using a broad definition of cheating, women reported being as unfaithful or more unfaithful than men. Men were more suspicious about cheating and more likely to discover the cheating than women. Women were more likely to break up with their partners, to begin new relationships after cheating, and to report reasons for cheating that may indicate a desire to switch long-term mates, such as being unhappy in the current relationship. Results are discussed in the context of evolutionary theory.     

Infidelity in the Time of COVID-19

Infidelity occurs in approximately 25% of marriages and is associated with various negative consequences for individuals (e.g., depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress), the couple relationship (e.g., financial loss, increased conflict, and aggression), and the couple's children (e.g., internalizing and externalizing behaviors). Infidelity is also one of the most frequently cited reasons for divorce. The increased stress brought on by the pandemic may be putting couples at an increased risk for experiencing infidelity, and data collected during the pandemic have shown that people across the United States are engaging in behaviors that are associated with a high likelihood of experiencing infidelity. The negative consequences of infidelity are also likely to be exacerbated for couples during the pandemic due to the intersection with the social, emotional, and financial consequences of COVID-19. Furthermore, couples are likely to experience disruptions and delays to the affair recovery process during the pandemic, which can negatively impact their ability to heal. Therefore, recommendations for navigating affair recovery during the pandemic, including adaptations for therapy, are also discussed.     

Facebook Infidelity: When Poking Becomes Problematic

Recent research has focused on the Internet and relationships; however, little attention has been given to the specific role of social networking sites in relationship betrayal. Exploring the processes related to discovery of Facebook infidelity behaviors adds another layer to understanding Internet infidelity and highlights the behaviors unique to Facebook infidelity. Stories about cheating (N = 90), taken from the website FacebookCheating.com were analyzed using grounded theory methodology to create a process model of discovery. Researchers sought to answer four questions: (1) What is the experience of nonparticipating partners when their partners have engaged in infidelity behaviors on Facebook? (2) What are the basic social processes that occur when discovering the infidelity behaviors? And, (3) What are the basic psychological processes that occur? (4) What similarities or differences exist between the current research on offline and online infidelity and the process model from the current study? The categories are arranged in a process model, which depicts these processes as well as the emotional experience of the nonparticipating partner. The model highlights important phases through which the nonparticipating partner cycled following the discovery of the infidelity. These include appraising the boundary damage, acting on the appraisal, and making a decision about the relationship. Suggestions for clinical intervention based on this process are provided. Future research implications are also discussed.     

The Relationship,If Any,Between Marriage and Infidelity

SUMMARY

Infidelity has been hypothesized to be caused by any number of factors, including unhappy marriages. The current article explores the myths about infidelity and its treatment. Advice is offered to those treating affairs, and to those interested in successful marriages.     

Attachment to the Missing Object: Infidelity and Obsessive Love

In an object relations study on infidelity and obsessive love, the author observes that in relationships marked by chronic, repetitive infidelity and obsession, the lover is enamored with that which they can not have and that the psychological development of such individuals may have been traumatized by early attachment disturbances in the primary dyad. Tenacious, unsatisfying love-attachments as seen in sexual addictions and obsessional love may result from the internalization of an absent or intermittent object relationship—a morbid attachment to the missing object of infancy. Such patients often demonstrate depressive/addictive traits and schizoid defenses and typically have difficulty forming an attachment bond with the analyst, perceiving the analyst as a dangerous, rejecting agent who will recapitulate the original trauma. In the clinical case of Gretchen, the author uses Winnicott's (1960) concept of holding to create a progressive therapeutic bond, as toxic resistant forces are gradually resolved.     

Infidelity Treatment Patterns: A Practice-based Evidence Approach

Infidelity is a common presenting problem in couples therapy and can be challenging for therapists to treat. The current zeitgeist in mental health delivery systems includes a focus on developing treatment guidelines. The essence of this movement is that therapists' practice be informed by clinical research, or at the very least, be guided by the accumulated wisdom of other therapists. Practice-based evidence has been advocated as a method using a bottom-up approach of gathering data relying on the expertise of practicing clinicians to inform treatment guidelines. The goal of this paper was to distill and disseminate such aggregated wisdom related to treating infidelity into a practice-based evidence model. We reviewed the literature related to the treatment of infidelity and identified a core set of clinical recommendations that was similar across sources. The themes and patterns that emerged are divided into the following areas: goals of treatment, treatment engagement, treatment format, assessment, process and intervention, treatment adherence, and relapse prevention. We present this as a map or guide to treatment than can be individualized to a specific clinical situation, rather than as a specific, step-by-step manualized approach. We note cultural and ethical factors that may be relevant, as well discuss areas of debate and topics for future research.     

Effect of Cheating Experience on Attitudes toward Infidelity

The present study investigated how cheating experience influences perception of others’ infidelity. Using vignette characters, we explored the hypothesis that a participant’s experience cheating on a partner and gender of vignette character moderate gender-differentiated perceptions of infidelity (i.e., men reporting more accepting attitudes toward infidelity than women). Participants (N = 320) were asked a series of questions evaluating both how ‘acceptable’ and ‘forgivable’ was a vignette character’s infidelity. Men and women with prior experience cheating found the cheating vignette character of their same gender significantly more acceptable and forgivable than the unfaithful character of the other gender. Participants who reported no history of infidelity found infidelity as generally unacceptable, regardless of character gender.     

Sociosexual Orientation,Commitment, and Infidelity: A Mediation Analysis

ABSTRACT

Individuals with an unrestricted sociosexual orientation (SO) are less committed to their romantic relationships and more likely to engage in infidelity. Furthermore, commitment is negatively associated with tendencies to cheat. However, no previous research has examined the possible mediating role of commitment in the relationship between SO and infidelity. The current study examined whether commitment mediated the relationship between SO and willingness to engage in three types of cheating behaviors (Ambiguous, Deceptive, and Explicit). Results suggested that commitment partially mediated the relationship between SO and infidelity, such that unrestricted individuals had lower commitment, which in turn led to a greater likelihood of cheating. Implications of this association and directions for future research are discussed.     

An Examination of Potential Attractions of Women's Marital Infidelity

Due to the growing prevalence and potential negative effects of marital infidelity, it is important for both clinicians and researchers to understand its occurrence. This study focused on examining the process an individual goes through when making the decision to have an affair. Semi-structured interviews were audio taped, transcribed, and analyzed using the transcendental phenomenological model (Moustakas, 1994). The women reported developing relationships outside of their marriage, having support from family/friends for the extramarital relationship, and receiving positive attention from their affair partner. Clinical and research implications are discussed as well as the limitations of the current study.