On Becoming Better Human Beings: Six Stories to Live By

What are the conditions required for becoming better human beings? What are our limitations and possibilities? I understand ??becoming better?? as a combined improvement process bringing persons ??up from?? a negative condition and ??up to?? a positive one. Today there is a tendency to understand improvement in a one-sided way as a movement up to the mastery of cognitive skills, neglecting the negative conditions that can make these skills mis-educative. I therefore tell six stories in the Western tradition about conditions for a combined improvement process. The first three stories belong to our cultural ABC: an Aristotelian story about moral wisdom which brings people up from being enslaved by passions and up to a good life of virtues; a Biblical story about God??s word bringing listeners up from a self-centred life and up into creative work as God??s fellow workers, and a short Cave story by Plato about liberation??up from living by common illusions and up to enlightenment from what is perfectly good. The subsequent three stories interpret and actualise these basic stories in different ways: a story about moral wisdom and divine love (Thomas Aquinas), a story about individual freedom and rationality (Immanuel Kant), and a story about the love that builds us up as equal human beings (S?ren Kierkegaard). These stories may directly guide us adults??and indirectly the children and youth who learn from our examples??when we struggle to become better human beings.     

Empirical tests of aspects of a theory of love as a story

We provide empirical tests of aspects of a theory of love as a story. According to this theory, people develop—as an interaction between their personality and their experiences—stories of what they believe loving relationships should be. Examples of such stories are addiction, mystery, police, and travel stories. They then seek out and find greatest satisfaction with partners whose stories correspond more closely with their own. The data from two studies indicate that the theory and instrument have some promise for understanding people's ways of conceptualizing love. In particular, couples involved in intimate relationships tend to share similar profiles of love stories; the more similar the stories of two members of a couple, the more likely they are to be satisfied with their relationship. Copyright © 2001 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

The Cocreation of Crazy Patchworks: Becoming Rhizomatic in Systemic Therapy

In the field of systemic therapy, there has been much discussion recently about the narrative self. This concept refers to the idea that the self is narratively constructed in and through the stories which someone tells about him/herself. The story is thereby not only viewed as a metaphor for selfhood: Selfhood is not compared to a story, it is a story. But what kind of story are we talking about here? If the self is a story, what does that story look like? These questions are explored in this article. Starting from the possibilities and limitations of traditional and postmodern visions on the self as a story, an alternative vision is illustrated. By considering the self as a rhizomatic story, we not only create a useful view of the way narrative selfhood is constructed within a therapy context, but we also stimulate therapists to coconstruct—together with their clients—patchworks of self‐stories. By using story fragments of our own practice, we illustrate the rhizomatic thinking and its possibilities in therapy.     

The World Is Not the Way It Is: the Twice-Told Tales of Biblical Narrative

In my paper I examine the relationship between biblical principles and modern western philosophy. I begin with various biblical passages, including the twice-told tale of the miracle of the loaves and fish from the Gospel of Matthew, the story of creation, and the story of Adam and Eve, contrasting them with what I argue are the non-tales of Plato’s Republic. I then move on to modern philosophical texts—Descartes, Spinoza, Kant, Hegel, and Kierkegaard (with passing mention of Vico and Buber) in order to examine the idea that what constitutes the ‘twice’ in our modern twice-told tales is the biblical, self-reflexive recognition that it is the core of values underpinning our stories—love of neighbor—that is itself the story that we tell.     

A Universe of Stories

The complete adoption of a narrative paradigm for therapy is proposed and its implications and possibilities spelled out, especially for life in a post-modern world that lacks any objective frame of reference. In the post-modern sensibility, the story is set free to perform as simply a story that allows for re-invention as the story-teller finds a voice rooted in the person's own experience and in the connection of her story to those of others, and to larger stories of culture and humanity. The realization that we are all characters in each other's stories as well as our own reminds us that our stories only go forward as we act in ways that also forward the stories of others. A hermeneutics for such therapy validates and questions all points of view so that they do not harden into stories that are assumed to be objectively true.     

Sense and counter-sense--on the deconstruction of histories

Today historiography (the writing of stories) presented as nothing but a search for truth merits the charge of naiveté. Since Freud we must understand any story told about life as a rationalization, that is, as a strategy of conducting one's life. The author argues the proposition that historiography can only fulfill its function of giving sense to life if it simultaneously admits its deconstruction, its counter-sense.     

Encoding effects of remindings

Understanding requires prior knowledge. Most theories and empirical work on understanding have focused on the use of general prior knowledge. In the experiments presented here, we examined the role of specific prior episodes in understanding. Subjects read ambiguous stories that had some superficial cue to make them think back to an earlier story. Experiment 1 shows that a superficial cue to an earlier story affects how the new story is interpreted. Experiment 2, in which a reading-time measure was used, provides evidence that this effect of the earlier story occurs during the initial understanding of the new story. We discuss the implications of these results for theories of understanding and the use of remindings in analogy.     

Girls’ Stories About Their First Sexual Intercourse: Readiness,Affection and Experience-Seeking in the Process of Growing into Womanhood

This study introduces Finnish girls’ views on and explanations for the factors contributing to their decisions concerning their first sexual intercourse. The data consists of personal interviews with girls aged 16–19, and stories produced through process drama. The analysis was conducted by narrative methods. Two model story categories of the first sexual intercourse stories were constructed: the close relationship and the casual relationship. The close relationship category consists of elements of two sub-stories: the conventional and the planned love story. The casual relationship category consists of elements of the tragic love, the teenage party and the experience-seeking sub-stories. Being prepared for sex was a shared plot element in all of the first intercourse stories. In the close relationship category the other major explanatory factors were mutual love and a steady relationship. In the casual relationship category the explanatory factors were girl’s affection for the partner without a relationship or getting experience, respectively. The girls’ agency in the use of contraception and the intercourse itself differed between the sub-stories. Girls regarded intercourse as an important step towards their womanhood. Those who work with teenagers should be aware of these stories in order to reinforce those stories where teenagers are active agents.     

Walking the Walk While Thinking About the Talk: Embodied Interpretation of Metaphorical Narratives

Two sets of experiments examined people’s embodied understanding of metaphorical narratives. Participants heard one of two stories about a romantic relationship; either one that was successful or one that was not, that initially described it in metaphorical terms as “Your relationship was moving along in a good direction” or nonmetaphorical terms as “Your relationship was very important to you.” Participants were then blindfolded and attempted to accurately walk, or imagine walking, to a marker 40 feet away while they thought about the story they just heard. People who heard about the successful metaphorical story walked longer and further than those presented with the unsuccessful relationship story. But these walking and imagining differences disappeared when the critical metaphorical statement “moving along in a good direction” was replaced by a nonmetaphorical expression. These findings, and those from another set of experiments, suggest that people’s understanding of metaphorical narratives is partly based on their embodied simulations of the metaphorical actions referred to in these stories.     

Stories from the South: A Question of Logic

In this paper, I argue that stories about difference do not promote critical self and social understanding; rather, on the contrary, it is the way we understand ourselves that makes some stories relevantly different. I discuss the uncritical reception of a story about homosexuality in Cuba, urging attention to generalizations explaining judgments of importance. I suggest that some stories from the South will never be relevant to discussions about human flourishing until we critically examine ideas about freedom and democracy, and their role in national identity, explaining the significance we give, or not, to such stories.     

There is more to life stories than memories

Current theories focus on the role of specific memories in organising the life story. However, temporally extended structures of autobiographical memory, like lifetime periods and mini-narratives (here termed chapters), may also play a central role in the organisation of the life story. Here, 30 elderly participants were asked to tell their life story in a free format. The life stories were divided into components and coded as chapters, specific memories, categoric memories, facts, chapters about other people, and autobiographical reasoning categories, i.e., reflections, evaluations, life lessons, and inferences about personality. The results show that chapters were much more common than specific memories in the life stories, indicating that chapters may play a role in the structuring of life stories. The number of chapters and specific memories in the life stories were unrelated, suggesting that the recounting of chapters versus specific memories does not reflect a preferred recall style.     

My partner’s stories: relationships between personal and vicarious life stories within romantic couples

In this paper, we examined relationships and differences between personal and vicarious life stories, i.e., the life stories one knows of others. Personal and vicarious life stories of both members of 51 young couples (102 participants), based on McAdams’ Life Story Interview (2008), were collected. We found significant positive relationships between participants’ personal and vicarious life stories on agency and communion themes and redemption sequences. We also found significant positive relationships between participants’ vicarious life stories about their partners and those partners’ personal life stories on agency and communion, but not redemption. Furthermore, these relationships were not explained by similarity between couples’ two personal life stories, as no associations were found between couples’ personal stories on agency, communion and redemption. These results suggest that the way we construct the vicarious life stories of close others may reflect how we construct our personal life stories.     

The Limits of Narrative and Culture: Reflections on Lorrie Moore's “People Like That Are the Only People Here: Canonical Babbling in Peed Onk”

This article provides a discussion of the limits of both narrative and culture based on a close textual analysis of the short story, "People Like That Are the Only People Here: Canonical Babbling in Peed Onk," by Lorrie Moore. In this story, a mother describes her experiences on a pediatric oncology ward when her infant son develops Wilms' tumor. The authors examine how the story satirically portrays the spurious claims of language, story, and culture to protect us from an unjust universe and then exposes their false promises. The various personal, professional, and genre-specific narratives we use to create order and coherence from the terror of serious illness are ultimately ineffective. Similarly, the superficially comforting culture of the hospital ward cares more about creating the illusion of control than it does about the suffering of sick children. Language and culture cannot make sense of human anguish, the article concludes, yet they are all we have to hold back the chaos. Mystery and uncertainty, as part of the human condition, must become part of our stories and part of our culture.     

The Role of Typical and Atypical Events in Story Memory

To understand how viewers or readers process and remember media narratives such as entertainment, news, and information is critical to our understanding of the mental processing of television and other media. Media stories contain both typical and atypical events and people, but little is known about how readers or viewers process and remember these two types of information. Participants in 2 experiments remembered atypical story items much better even a week later. However, the conservative way they treated atypical memories could give the illusion that typical items are better remembered than they really are. The results have implications for both mass media theory and theories of memory.     

The imperfect attainment of intimacy: a key concept in marital therapy

The intense though transient intimacy of romantic love is contrasted with the more durable and sustained intimacy of conjugal love. The latter, it is argued, requires that the partners have each attained an adequate degree of separateness and at the same time are able to allow themselves to become physically and emotionally close. Relationships which are not intimate are characterized by excessive degrees of dependence, directiveness or detachment. The equilibrium in a non-intimate relationship is maintained by fears in the respective partners about the other becoming too separate, too close, too influential, too assertive, too capable etc. Therapy involves persuading each to try cautiously giving ground in one direction whilst the other is giving ground in a complementary direction. Intimacy will follow if neither is too controlling from above nor too clinging from below and both partners are able to relate on an equal adult to adult basis.     

Love,Respect, and Individuals: Murdoch as a Guide to Kantian Ethics

I reconsider the relation between love and respect in Kantian ethics, taking as my guide Iris Murdoch's view of love as the fundamental moral attitude and a kind of attention to individuals. It is widely supposed that Kantian ethics disregards individuals, since we don't respect individuals but the universal quality of personhood they instantiate. We need not draw this conclusion if we recognise that Kant and Murdoch share a view about the centrality of love to virtue. We can then see that respect in the virtuous person cannot be blind to the individual, as critics of Kantian ethics contend. My approach contrasts recent efforts (Velleman and Bagnoli) to assimilate Kantian respect to Murdochian love, which overlook Murdoch's distinctive claims about the singularity of moral activity. This idea is not as un‐Kantian as it seems, and it should inform any Kantian ethics that aims to address the charge about individuals.     

Empirical evidence for narrative structure

Three experimental tasks—spontaneous telling of a story, reading, and parsing the story—were used to determine whether empirical data reflect the narrative structure of stories and can be predicted by a plot unit analysis of the stories (Lehnert, 1981). It was found that spontaneous pause durations at sentence breaks were highly correlated with the importance of these breaks as predicted theoretically. Only low correlations were obtained, however, when reading pause durations were correlated with the model. As for parsing values, the value of the correlation coefficients depended on whether stories had sufficient superficial linguistic cues to help the subjects in parsing. It was concluded that spontaneous pausing not only reflects the narrative structure of stories, but can be used as a guide to constructing theories of narrative structure as well as for deciding between competing theories.     

Ethical Challenges of Personal Disclosure in Gaining Entry with Religious Congregations

This is a story about learning how to navigate my social identities as a non‐religious gay man attempting to conduct data‐based consultation with a religious congregation. Beyond my own growth in knowing myself better, this story speaks to the larger ethical challenge of how we build trust in community relationships, and in particular how much of our personal selves we need to disclose in the process of an individual or group deciding to work with us. Individuals and groups make decisions to work with us based on who they perceive us to be; thus, what is our ethical obligation to disclose aspects of who we are to promote full informed consent? To illustrate this ethical challenge of personal disclosure, I tell the story of discussions I had with three different religious leaders and a congregational committee about potentially working together. Throughout these stories, I reflect on my own messy process of growth as a window into the more general question of how we navigate our identities and values as community psychologists in the work we do with communities.