Experienced closeness and distance among family members

This study looks at experienced emotional closeness among family members using a projective measure, the Family Paper Sculpture. Results support the hypothesis that, in a non-clinical population, experiences of extreme closeness and extreme distance may be different manifestations of the same underlying process. Some support is found for the hypothesis that families in which relationships are experienced as very close or very distant at one point in time may experience those same relationships as extreme in the opposite direction at another point in time. Global coding of taped family interactions supports the hypothesis that extremes of experienced closeness are associated with more conflict, less ability to resolve differences, and less warmth and support among family members. It is suggested that the experience of being very close, varying through time with the experience of being very distant, may be associated with disappointed attempts to achieve closeness with autonomy.worked on this research while a graduate student in psychology at the University of Houston-Clear Lake.David C. Bell, PhD, completed work on this report while at Texas A & M University. He is presently working on a book about connection and dependency.The studies reported here were supported by grants from the National Institute for Mental Health and the Hogg Foundation for Mental Health. The authors would like to thank David Gutterman, Sheila Jones, Judy Nunn, and Theresa Rourke for coding the global scales.     

The effect of a shared humorous experience on closeness in initial encounters

Randomly paired same‐sex strangers (N = 96) participated in a series of structured interactions systematically manipulated to either create or not create a shared humorous experience. They then completed measures of feelings of closeness to their interaction partner. Consistent with hypotheses derived from personal relationships and humor theories, there was a significant effect of humor on closeness. This effect was significantly partially mediated by self‐expansion and distraction from the discomfort of the first encounter, but not by self‐disclosure/acceptance. The effect was significantly moderated by trait sense of humor and marginally moderated by anxious attachment style (such that the effect was greater for those high in trait sense of humor and high in anxious attachment). A predicted moderation by avoidant attachment was not significant.     

“Date nights” take two: The maintenance function of shared relationship activities

One‐hundred and ninety‐six individuals (Study 1) and 83 couples (Study 2) reported on their shared relationship activities—activities that individuals engage in with their partner to facilitate closeness in their romantic relationships. Couples also reported on the quality of their shared activities and relationships 3 months later (Study 2). Results indicated that shared activities help to sustain relationships, and do so beyond threat‐based maintenance strategies (i.e., accommodation). Activities that were satisfying, stress‐free, and increased closeness predicted greater relationship quality concurrently and longitudinally. However, positive activity and relationship outcomes depended on the degree to which partners were dedicated to the activity, indicating that shared activities sustain relationship quality only when partners are responsive and want to share relationship activities.     

Relational closeness: Comparing undergraduate college students' geographically close and long‐distance friendships

Abstract As interpersonal relationships change with the advent of new technology, researchers need to reexamine their theoretical constructs ( R. G. Adams, 1998 ). This study uses survey methodology to examine college undergraduates from the United States. It explores the concept of relational closeness by comparing how geographically close and long‐distance friends define closeness in their relationships. It assesses prior methods of defining and measuring closeness in interpersonal relationships for the impact of physical distance between the friends. Differences illustrate factors that are important in understanding relational closeness in general and in long‐distance relationships in particular.     

Three measures of closeness in adolescents’ relationships with parents and friends: Variations and developmental significance

Two studies examined the nature and developmental significance of closeness in adolescents’ relationships with parents and friends. Three measures of relationship closeness (i.e., interdependence, emotional tone, and subjective opinion) were compared and contrasted. In Study 1, grade and gender differences in closeness in relationships with mothers, fathers, and friends were examined. Participants were 133 adolescents in Grades 7, 9, and 11 and 135 of their parents. Closeness in relationships with mothers, fathers, and friends varied based on closeness measure, grade of adolescent, gender of adolescent, and gender of parent. The results suggest that the interdependence measure offers a perspective on adolescents’ close relationships that differs from that provided by the emotional tone and subjective opinion measures. In Study 2, associations were examined between the three measures of closeness in adolescents’ relationships with mothers, fathers, and friends and adolescents’ problem behavior, substance use, and school performance. Participants included 107 adolescents in Grades 7 and 10. In combination, the measures of closeness in relationships with mothers and with fathers explained significant variability in the criterion variables, and reports of interdependence and emotional tone emerged as unique, significant predictors. The results highlight distinctions among the three conceptualizations that are commonly purported to assess a close relationship and point to the utility and validity of interdependence and emotional tone as measures of closeness in adolescents’ relationships.     

The Double Bind of Siblings in Adolescent Substance Abuse Treatment

Siblings have been found to be perhaps the greatest source of social risk for adolescent substance abuse, particularly when the relationship is close. But, close sibling relationships are also linked to an array of important developmental and lifelong protective benefits. Sibling closeness simultaneously poses considerable risks and benefits. These conflicting findings suggest opposite treatment directions, or a “double bind” for practice. That sibling closeness risks contagion suggests treatment that aims to decrease sibling closeness. On the other hand, the many lifelong and protective benefits of close sibling relationships suggests increasing sibling closeness when possible. Family-based treatment is recommended for adolescent substance abuse, but offers little explicit direction for involving siblings in general, and none for this double bind. This paper untangles and translates the extant literature into preliminary practice guidelines; the Sibling Substance Abuse Treatment Matrix. Important variations related to gender, and age-spacing are considered. Implications for future research and practice are discussed.     

Narcissism and the self-evaluation maintenance model: effects of social comparison threats on relationship closeness

When threatened with an upward social comparison with a close other in a self-relevant domain, people may reduce either the self-relevance of the ability being compared or their perceived closeness to the other person (Tesser, 1988). Those high in the trait of narcissism may be more likely to push away others who outperform them. Participants and nominated close others completed online measures of narcissism, contingent self-worth, and relationship closeness. Subsequently, participants heard that their friend performed better (or equivalently) on a "competitive spirit" test. Participants higher in narcissism significantly reduced the closeness of their relationships after a threat but did not reduce the relevance of competitiveness to their self-worth.     

British women's experiences of drinking alcohol: Dynamics of emotional proximity and distance

Research on alcohol consumption suggests that friendship and peer relations are highly influential and have a decisive impact on drinking behaviours. Further, that women's friendships appear to be characterised by emotional disclosure and ‘knowing’ one another. In this paper I draw on debates around emotional intimacy, ideas of ‘closeness’ and ‘distance’ to explore how this might work when young women go out and drink alcohol. Drawing on in-depth interviews with 25 British undergraduate female students aged 18–25, this research suggests that one of the compelling appeals of alcohol is that it creates a ‘space of suspension’, whereby feelings of being both close and distant (intimate proximity) coexist, often for strategic reasons associated with security. Two themes emerged from the data: firstly that the young women had a preference for paradoxically maintaining ‘distance’ alongside ‘closeness’ with friends, and secondly, that contingencies of safety and vulnerability promoted the need for co-operation to manage risk in the night-time economy. These themes permeated relationships and became a significant dynamic in group behaviour creating a tension between functionality and friendship. This paper contributes to a growing body of work that suggests intimacy and women's friendships are complex: traditional conceptions about young women seeking intimate and close friendships need revaluating to take into consideration how ‘distance’ within groups is both desirable and negotiated, and may be facilitated through the drinking of alcohol.     

Late adolescents' self-defining memories about relationships

This study examined late adolescents' self-defining memories about relationships. Participants were 88 European Americans (mean age = 19 years) who reported 3 self-defining memories of their choosing and were selected for the study because they reported a memory about parents and/or peers. Memory narratives were coded for themes of separation, closeness, and conflict and for 2 kinds of meaning: learning lessons and gaining insight. Parent memories emphasized separation more so than peer memories, which emphasized closeness. Within parent memories, however, separation and closeness were equally prevalent. Parent separation was exemplified by experiences of parental divorce, parent closeness by comforting a grieving parent, and peer closeness by episodes of first-time romance. Conflict was more prevalent in parent than peer memories and was associated with meaning-making. Findings are discussed in terms of the usefulness of self-defining memories for illuminating contexts of relationship development in late adolescence and for understanding the emergence of identity and the life story.     

Skewed autonomy-relatedness in preadolescents' conceptions of their relationships with mother, father, and best friend.

Healthy adaptation within all close relationships--whether with parents, friends, or romantic partners--involves striking a balance between connectedness to and independence from the relationship partner. For some individuals, adaptation within one or more relationships is skewed, or characterized by either an excessive concern for closeness that impedes autonomy (preoccupied stance) or an excessive concern for autonomy that inhibits closeness (avoidant stance). In this study with boys and girls aged 9-14 years, children who reported a preoccupied or avoidant stance toward their mother displayed increased social impairment in the peer group over time. There were predictable associations among children's stances toward mother, father, and best friend. Children resembled their best friend in relationship stance. The study illustrates the advantages of applying common relationship constructs (e.g., autonomy-relatedness) to the study of diverse close relationships.     

“I know you're kidding”: Relationship closeness enhances positive perceptions of teasing

Feeling close in a relationship may enhance perceptions of teasing within that relationship. In Study 1, participants recalled instances of teasing—as both teaser and target—in close and nonclose relationships. Participants perceived teases in close relationships more positively and better intentioned than those in nonclose relationships, as both teaser and target. The discrepancy between teasers and targets in perceptions of intent was also reduced by felt closeness. In Study 2, interaction partner closeness was manipulated and a tease was staged. Teases delivered by a close (vs. nonclose) partner were perceived as more positive and better intentioned. Each study has limitations but their methods complement each other. Together they provide convergent evidence that relationship closeness increases positive perceptions of teasing.     

Symptom-system fit in couples: emotion regulation when one or both partners smoke

In a laboratory smoking experiment, 25 couples in which 1 or both partners continued to smoke despite 1 of them having heart or lung disease discussed a health-related disagreement before and during a period of smoking. Immediately afterward, the partners used independent joysticks to recall their continuous emotional experience during the interaction while watching themselves on video. Participants in dual-smoker couples reported increased positive emotion contingent upon lighting up, whereas those in single-smoker couples reported the opposite. The results highlight the role of smoking in close relationships, particularly in regulating emotional closeness when both partners smoke. Attention to this fit between symptom and system may be useful in helping couples achieve stable cessation.     

How does culture influence the degree of romantic loneliness and closeness?

A culture promoting a strong desire for romantic relationships can greatly influence feelings of romantic loneliness and of closeness. In this study, the authors hypothesized that when not in a romantic relationship, U.S. young adults experience greater degrees of romantic loneliness because of a high desire for romantic relationships, compared with Korean young adults. The authors also predicted that when in a romantic relationship, U.S. young adults experience greater closeness to their romantic partner than do Korean young adults. Results revealed that in a sample of 227 U.S. and Korean students, U.S. students reported significantly higher levels of romantic loneliness than did Koreans when not in a romantic relationship and significantly lower levels of romantic loneliness when in a stable romantic relationship. U.S. students also reported a greater degree of closeness in romantic relationships than did Korean students. The results suggest that Western cultures' strong emphasis on the importance of romantic relationships may unduly amplify individuals' levels of loneliness.     

Getting to know you: the relational self-construal, relational cognition, and well-being

Individuals with a highly relational self-construal define the self in terms of their close relationships with others. Consequently, they seek to nurture and develop new relationships. These studies examine individual differences in the self-construal in the context of a new roommate relationship, with a focus on cognitive aspects of relationship development. Study 1 revealed that persons with a highly relational self-construal were better able than others to predict a new roommate's values and beliefs. Study 2 showed that highly relational individuals tended to think optimistically about a new roommate's feelings about the relationship. The relational self-construal was more strongly related to these measures of relationship cognition in distant relationships than in very close relationships. Participants' self-construals and their perceptions of the closeness of the roommate relationship interacted in predicting well-being, revealing an unexpected negative relation between closeness and well-being for participants with a low relational self-construal.     

Exploring Recovery Perspectives in Individuals Diagnosed with Mental Illness

Using a phenomenological research design with a photovoice method, we aimed to understand the lived experience of eight individuals diagnosed with mental illness and identify factors affecting their recovery. We conducted focus group interviews whereby participants discussed their recovery, shared photographs taken of items symbolizing their recovery, and created personalized photobooks or scrapbooks. Data analysis yielded the following themes: (1) caring relationships, (2) leisure and outings, and (3) relaxation, stress reduction, and coping. Findings revealed factors influencing recovery from mental illness and can be used to develop person-centered and occupation-based interventions to promote recovery in clients with mental health issues.     

Day‐to‐day experiences of amae in Japanese romantic relationships

The cultural psychology of romantic relationships is relatively understudied. To redress this lacunae, the present study examined the Japanese concept of ‘amae’, or the state of expecting a close other's indulgence when one behaves inappropriately, within the day‐to‐day relationships of 30 Japanese undergraduate romantic couples. For 2 weeks, both partners completed daily diaries that assessed their amae behaviour (requesting, receiving, and providing amae), relationship quality, conflict, and motivation to enhance closeness. Results revealed that amae behaviour was associated with greater relationship quality and less conflict. The motivation to enhance closeness partially mediated the association of amae with relationship quality.     

Sister’s Caregiving Experience to a Sibling with Cerebral Palsy- the Impact to Daughter-Mother Relationships

This paper uses a phenomenological method to examine Taiwanese women’s care giving experiences of their brothers or sisters with Cerebral Palsy and how they negotiated daughter-mother relationships when care giving for a sibling with CP. Drawing on stories shared by six women from the northern and the middle part of Taiwan who were recruited via social service agencies and snowball sampling, the results of this study suggest that these sisters internalized the cultural norm of Shan-Shia (superior-subordinate) but also appealed for support from fathers or brothers to transform their mothers’ outdated notions about ways of caring for their sibling with CP and to protect their sibling with CP from mothers’ negligent and abusive behaviors. Greater attention must be given to the promotion of a more equitable sharing of caring tasks by men and women in the family.     

Social and emotional patterns in adulthood: support for socioemotional selectivity theory.

This investigation explored 2 hypotheses derived from socioemotional selectivity theory: (a) Selective reductions in social interaction begin in early adulthood and (b) emotional closeness to significant others increases rather than decreases in adulthood even when rate reductions occur. Transcribed interviews with 28 women and 22 men from the Child Guidance Study, conducted over 34 years, were reviewed and rated for frequency of interaction, satisfaction with the relationship, and degree of emotional closeness in 6 types of relationships. Interaction frequency with acquaintances and close friends declined from early adulthood on. Interaction frequency with spouses and siblings increased across the same time period and emotional closeness increased throughout adulthood in relationships with relatives and close friends. Findings suggest that individuals begin narrowing their range of social partners long before old age.     

Relationship quality promotes the desire for closeness among distressed avoidantly attached individuals

Individuals who experience attachment avoidance tend to desire less closeness in their romantic relationships than others, especially when experiencing distress. However, emerging research suggests that avoidant individuals value social closeness and are more comfortable with it when they perceive that seeking closeness is welcomed. Thus, this research examined the relationship characteristics that might predict avoidant individuals seeking more closeness than they would otherwise. We investigated whether perceiving their relationship to be high quality would predict avoidant individuals desiring more closeness when distressed. We hypothesized that avoidant individuals who perceived their relationship to be high quality would desire greater closeness with their partners when distressed—counteracting their tendency to eschew relational closeness. A study of dating couples supported this hypothesis.