Of lust and love: Beliefs about the role of sexual desire in romantic relationships

Little is known about the beliefs that men and women have about the role of sexual desire in romantic relationships, despite the interpersonal and individual significance of those beliefs. Three experiments conducted with students from a university in the midwestern United States examined both the perceived consequences of sexual desire for romantic relationships and beliefs about the association between sexual desire and romantic love. Men and women believed that dating partners who desire each other sexually are more likely to experience romantic love and other “positive” interpersonal events and less likely to experience “negative” events than partners who do not desire each other sexually, regardless of their level of sexual activity (Experiment 1). Similarly, partners who are romantically in love were viewed as more likely to desire each other than were partners who love or who like one another, and desire was perceived as equally likely to occur in loving and liking relationships; that is, sexual desire did not differentiate these two affective syndromes (Experiment 2). In couples with a mismatched sexual desire pattern, the high-desire partner was perceived as more likely than the sexually uninterested partner to be in love, satisfied, committed, happy, and jealous, whereas the low-desire partner was viewed as more likely to terminate the relationship and to be unfaithful (Experiment 3). These results suggest that sexual desire is viewed as an important feature of romantic love, and that its presence or absence in a dating relationship is believed to have implications for the emotional tenor and interpersonal dynamics of that relationship.     

Love, drive and desire in the works of Freud, Lacan and Proust

Both Freud and Lacan have made love the object of scientific enquiry, which is in itself remarkable, since we usually turn this subject over to literary and philosophical treatment. This article discusses Freud and Lacan's contributions to the psychology of love through dialogue with Marcel Proust's seminal novel, Remembrance of Things Past, with special emphasis on the middle sections. The point of departure is love's manifestation in the analytical situation. Freud has described transference love as both resistance and as an extreme variant of normal falling in love, to which Lacan adds the deceptive character of transference. From transference love the investigation continues to the contradictions Freud has described in Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality as love's affectionate and sensual currents. Lacan contributes the concept of desire, which must be distinguished from drive and love. The differentiation between desire, drive and love introduces the perspective necessary for a psychoanalytic reading of Proust's opus. The main objective is a reading of the protagonists, Albertine and the Baron de Charlus, as representatives of the vicissitudes of love and drive, respectively.     

Self and Identity in Later Life: Protecting and Enhancing the Self

Self and identity are central concepts in the social and behavioral sciences for multiple reasons. At least three major research traditions focus on the self. First, sociologists view the self as a primary bridge between social structures and individual attitudes and behaviors, as a mechanism by which social structures and individuals affect and are affected by each other. Second, self and identity are viewed as cornerstones of well-being. Thus, social and behavioral scientists have documented important links between the self and physical and mental health, role performance, the quality of interpersonal relationships, and subjective well-being. Third, the self is conceptualized as a central motivating force in human behavior. Issues as diverse as self-selection into specific environments, defense mechanisms, and the desire and ability to break addictive behaviors have been informed by attention to the motivational force of the self. This latter tradition serves as the conceptual bedrock of this paper. This paper examines three components of the self: self-efficacy, self-esteem, and a sense of authenticity. The first two have received substantial theoretical and empirical attention; the latter, much less. I argue that this unequal distribution of scientific inquiry is a result of too much emphasis on the motivation to protect the self, to the neglect of motivation to enhance the self. I make a case for the particular importance of examining self-enhancement in late life.     

Systemic Considerations: Factors Facilitating and Impeding the Development of Psychology in Developing Countries

Systemic factors that influence the development of psychology in developing countries are explored. Such factors include socio-political considerations, influences from other countries, public perceptions of psychology, relationships with other disciplines, training of psychologists, economic constraints, and research orientations. Because of the scarcity of resources and the widespread desire to modernize, the perceived applied value of psychology in developing countries has a major impact on its development. Student preference for choosing psychology as a major, the allocation of funding to psychology departments, and the status of psychology in relation to other disciplines partly depend on the applied value of the discipline. Thus, to facilitate its development, psychology must be seen as useful, and applied research should be emphasized. However, applied research should be backed up by the necessary basic research. Indigenization is also necessary so that psychological research is effective in addressing local problems.     

Relational Self‐Construal: Past and Future

Relational self‐construal is characterized as the extent to which a person defines the self in terms of close relationships. In this article, I distinguish relational self‐construal from collective‐interdependent self‐construal and from other similar‐sounding constructs. I review the history of the concept of relational self‐construal and how it is most frequently measured or manipulated. The remainder of the article focuses on research that examines the role of relational self‐construal in cognition, affect, motivation, and close interpersonal relationships.     

On the Subjectivity of Lustful States of Mind

This paper explores certain subjective dimensions of sexuality by proposing that erotic experience is predicated on an experience of otherness within the self. I suggest that the ability to lust where one loves is contingent on the capacity to bring this otherness of self forward in the context of attachment. The dampening or deadening of desire in long-term relationships may be understood, counterintuitively, not as a failure of the integration of lust with love but as a breakdown of the normative dissociative processes on which the emergence of lust depends. I theorize that the otherness of lustful states of mind emerges via the impact and dynamic interplay of social regulatory intrusions on identity formation. This understanding helps explain both the psychic tensions and potential sources of breakdown present in combining lust with love.     

The emerging self: the convergence of mind,personality and thinking styles

This paper aims to integrate research and theorizing about problem solving, self and personality into a comprehensive theory. With this purpose, the paper attempts to answer three questions: how do humans become aware of themselves and how do the products of self-awareness interrelate to produce an integrated self-system, which includes the domains of cognition and personality? How do persons know and influence each other? How do these processes change with development? The answers given to these questions by self, personality and cognitive developmental psychology are critically examined. It is concluded that an overarching model would have to assume a multilevel and multidimensional architecture. This would involve three main levels: the first includes general-purpose processes and functions, such as processing efficiency and working memory, which define current cognitive potentials; the second includes several domain-specific systems directed to different aspects of the environment; the third includes self-oriented processes that register, represent and regulate processes at the other two levels. Each person’s self-concepts result from the application of the third level on the other two and they differentially reflect their condition. Personality reflects the interaction between these self-concepts and dispositions to act in particular ways. Because humans share this architecture they can negotiate and affect each other’s self- and reflected representations. Thus, the formation of mind, self and personality results from a continuous flow of interactions between the levels and domains of mind within and across persons. The article summarizes a series of studies lending support to this general model.     

Love: American style,Russian style,and Japanese style

This study was undertaken to examine young women's and men's orientations toward love in three very different cultures: Japan (N = 223), Russia (N = 401), and the United States (N = 1,043). The love variables examined were: frequency of lore experiences, attachment types, love styles, love as a basis for marriage, romantic attitudes, and predictors of falling in love. Many cultural differences were found in the love variables, but the effect of culture was not always in the expected direction. We also examined how the pattern of gender differences in love variables differed across the three societies. Some of the gender differences and similarities found in previous love research and also in the U.S. sample of this study were not replicated in the Japanese and/or Russian samples. We discuss the importance of studying love and other aspects of close relationships with data collected from more than one culture.     

The multisensory basis of the self: From body to identity to others

By grounding the self in the body, experimental psychology has taken the body as the starting point for a science of the self. One fundamental dimension of the bodily self is the sense of body ownership that refers to the special perceptual status of one’s own body, the feeling that “my body” belongs to me. The primary aim of this review article is to highlight recent advances in the study of body ownership and our understanding of the underlying neurocognitive processes in three ways. I first consider how the sense of body ownership has been investigated and elucidated in the context of multisensory integration. Beyond exteroception, recent studies have considered how this exteroceptively driven sense of body ownership can be linked to the other side of embodiment, that of the unobservable, yet felt, interoceptive body, suggesting that these two sides of embodiment interact to provide a unifying bodily self. Lastly, the multisensorial understanding of the self has been shown to have implications for our understanding of social relationships, especially in the context of self–other boundaries. Taken together, these three research strands motivate a unified model of the self inspired by current predictive coding models.     

Broadening Horizons: Self‐Expansion in Relational and Non‐Relational Contexts

The self‐expansion model posits that individuals are motivated to broaden their sense of self by acquiring new identities, developing new perspectives, enhancing capabilities, and gaining resources. The self‐expansion motivation is driven by individuals' desire to increase their potential self‐efficacy and ability to accomplish goals. In this article, we discuss two main ways individuals self‐expand – by forming relationships and including the other in the self and through engaging in novel activities that are challenging and/or interesting either on one's own or with a relationship partner. We provide an overview of recent research detailing the numerous interpersonal and intrapersonal benefits and implications of self‐expansion. Additionally, we differentiate self‐expansion from a series of potentially associated constructs.     

The Role of Regulatory Focus in the Experience and Self‐Control of Desire for Temptations

This research examines the role of regulatory focus in the experience and control of desire for temptations, the fulfillment of which conflicts with other salient goals of the consumer. Relative to a prevention focus (i.e., an orientation away from negative outcomes), our findings demonstrate that a promotion focus (i.e., an orientation toward positive outcomes) not only increases the intensity of desire experienced on encountering a temptation, but also increases success of its subsequent resistance. Differences in self‐control efficacy are found to be mediated by the type of self‐control strategies consumers use in the 2 foci. Convergent evidence obtained in 4 studies, considering situational and dispositional aspects of regulatory focus, indicates that when temptations are encountered by consumers, regulatory focus is an important determinant of the degree of desire, and the nature and outcome of self‐control.     

The Craftsman and His Apprentice: A Kohutian Interpretation of the Gospel Narratives of Jesus Christ

Kohutian theory suggests that relationships play a central role in structuring and sustaining the psychological self. In this article, we apply self psychology to the Father-Son dyad found in the Synoptic and Johannine narratives in order to understand the Jesus of the gospels in a new, psychologically informed manner. Conclusions are drawn related to how self psychology can help to elucidate the biblical relationship between God the Father and Son, or the craftsman and his apprentice, as well as how, conversely, the Father-Son dyad described in the gospels can inform self psychology.     

Falling in Love as a Therapeutic Moment-Therapy as a Moment of Falling in Love

The author compares falling in love in ordinary life with falling in love in therapy. This way, he offers a wider understanding of these phenomena, regarding in particular to transferring processes. The result is a model, inside the frame of reference of Gestalt Therapy, to work through the positive sources of falling in love process-in ordinary life and in therapy. Among other things, he means by that: (1) an understanding of the links between one's original family and partner's choice and (2) a new perspective of the alternatives of behavior the person has now (in the resolution phase of falling in love), in comparison with his/her experience in his/her original family.     

Perceiving Benefits in the Cancer Experience

The potential for benefits to be construed under stressful circumstances has become a topic of interest for researchers studying psychological reactions to adversity. This paper examines benefit-construal following one such stressful event—cancer. A simple framework is presented to organize qualitative and quantitative data from various literatures, including psychology, nursing, oncology, and social work, into 3 areas in which cancer survivors frequently report deriving benefits: life perspective, interpersonal relationships, and the self. This typology helps to clarify the extent and nature of benefit-finding in cancer survivors and provides directions for future research.     

Taking the Love Pill: A Reply to Naar and Nyholm

In recent discussions about whether the use of a love pill to enhance love in our romantic relationships is desirable, one argument centres on the question whether this love pill would secure the final value we attribute to love. Sven Nyholm argues that it would not, because one thing we desire for its own sake is to be at the origin of the love others feel for us. In a reply, Hichem Naar argues against Nyholm that a love pill does not need to be incompatible with the final value we attribute to love and that a love pill can have a facilitating role in the creation and sustainment of loving attachment. I think Naar is right but does not address Nyholm's worry completely. I will argue that Naar and Nyholm are speaking of different ends for which the love pill is used as a means, and that whether the love pill would fail or not fail to secure the final value we attribute to love, depends on this particular end.     

What Is the Word on Self-Motives and Social Perception: Introduction to the Special Issue

Although social, personality, and developmental psychologists have focused on the determinants, processes, and outcomes of social perception on the one hand and self-perception on the other, they have only occasionally explored the relations between the two. In this introduction, I explain how this special issue is designed to explore the links between self- and social perception. In particular, I suggest that perceptions of self and the social world are intrinsically linked because each are influenced by the exact same self-motives, such as the desire to achieve beneficial outcomes for the self, or to maintain the psychic benefits of a positive self-image. Each in its own way, the articles that comprise this special issue illustrate this basic link between the self- and social perception.     

The new social psychology of France: The heritage of Jacques Lacan

In recent years psychology has taken on a new cenerality in French thought, but the extent and character of this development is not well understood and its religious dimension is generally overlooked. It is misleading to think of Jacques Lacan as a Freudian; his thought is rooted more in that of Hegel (via Kojève) and involves a fundamentally non‐Freudian theory of desire. Freud's focus was biological. For Lacan, as for Kojève, human appetite is oriented more toward the subjectivity of others (in a struggle for recognition between ‘self and ‘other') than toward pleasure or a release of physical tensions. The religious dimension is closely associated with the theme of a possible relation to the other as other and the question of whether recognition is something to be coerced through domination or given in the mode of love. Even without belief in a God, the Law is needed to support sublimation and to teach the love of neighbor. Other Lacanians continue this theme. François Roustang has criticized Lacan for failing to realize the full theoretical import of his own prophetic message about respect for the other, especially with reference to the transference relation and its exploitation in the analytic process. Marie Balmary brings the Lacanian thrust full circle by analyzing the way the Bible itself deals with psychological issues.     

Emerging Perspectives on Distinctions Between Romantic Love and Sexual Desire

Abstract— Although sexual desire and romantic love are often experienced in concert, they are fundamentally distinct subjective experiences with distinct neurobiological substrates. The basis for these distinctions is the evolutionary origin of each type of experience. The processes underlying sexual desire evolved in the context of sexual mating, whereas the processes underlying romantic love—or pair bonding—originally evolved in the context of infant-caregiver attachment. Consequently, not only can humans experience these feelings separately, but an individual's sexual predisposition for the same sex, the other sex, or both sexes may not circumscribe his or her capacity to fall in love with partners of either gender. Also, the role of oxytocin in both love and desire may contribute to the widely observed phenomenon that women report experiencing greater interconnections between love and desire than do men. Because most research on the neurobiological substrates of sexual desire and affectional bonding has been conducted with animals, a key priority for future research is systematic investigation of the coordinated biological, behavioral, cognitive, and emotional processes that shape experiences of love and desire in humans.     

What Kind of Empirical Research Should We Publish, Fund, and Reward?

ABSTRACT— When evaluating empirical papers for publication, grant proposals, or individual contributions (e.g., awarding tenure), the basic question one should ask is how much the contribution adds to understanding in psychology and not whether the contribution takes a particular form or represents one particular model of how to do empirical studies. Academic psychology has flourished with its mastery of the hypothesis–experiment model of science and its expertise in generating and eliminating alternative hypotheses and isolating causation. These accomplishments are a critical part of psychology, and they are well and appropriately taught by psychologists. However, they are only a part of science and should not comprise the almost exclusive criteria for evaluating research. In particular, discovery of fundamental phenomena, such as functional relations that apply to the real world and have generality, should have a higher priority in psychology. Such findings have been the basis for theoretical advances in other natural sciences.     

Academic self‐concept and academic achievement: Relations and causal ordering

Background. A positive self‐concept is valued as a desirable outcome in many disciplines of psychology as well as an important mediator to other outcomes. Aims. The present review examines support for the reciprocal effects model (REM) that posits academic self‐concept (ASC) and achievement are mutually reinforcing, each leading to gains in the other – and its extension to other achievement domains. Method. We review theoretical, methodological, and empirical support for the REM. Critical features in this research are a theoretical emphasis on multidimensional perspectives that focus on specific components of self‐concept and a methodological focus on a construct validity approach to evaluating the REM. Results. Consistent with these distinctions, REM research and a comprehensive meta‐analysis show that prior ASC has direct and indirect effects on subsequent achievement, whilst the effects of self‐esteem and other non‐academic components of self‐concept are negligible. We then provide an overview of subsequent support for the generality of the REM for: young children, cross‐cultural, health (physical activity), and non‐elite (gymnastics) and elite (international swimming championships) sport. Conclusion. This research is important in demonstrating that increases in ASC lead to increases in subsequent academic achievement and other desirable educational outcomes. Findings confirm that not only is self‐concept an important outcome variable in itself, it also plays a central role in affecting other desirable educational outcomes. Implications for educational practice are discussed.