批评也要口下留情

常听到不少的家长在批评自己的孩子时,责骂道:“你怎么就这样傻”、“真真是个笨蛋”、“愚蠢”、“榆木脑袋”等言语。有时家长说这些话是不经意脱口而出的,也有的是家长想有意地刺激刺激孩子,使孩子在经过调教后能豁然开朗,改过自新。可以说,家长的这些做法是以爱孩子为出发点的。     

孩子受了欺负，该不该帮忙出头？

<正>其实,标题中的这个问题一直在家长中呈现多极分化：有的家长显得特别“护犊子”,一旦发现孩子有被欺负的迹象立刻就会找上门;也有的家长历来主张“息事宁人”,往往劝孩子隐忍了事;还有的家长会一味地埋怨自家孩子“太没用”,继而教他如何报复。三种家长似乎都有自己的道理,只是鲜有人好好想过,站在孩子的角度,他又是怎么看待这一切的呢？     

坏孩子可能诞生在父母的言语里

做家长的都企盼自己的孩子成名成家。为了给孩子创造一个良好的成长环境,他们不惜花费大量的时间、精力和财力,有时却没有注意到自己对孩子的评价也直接影响着儿童的成长。有的家长看到孩子做错了一点事,便大发雷霆,指责孩子“笨蛋”、“没出息”;有的家长当着孩子的面向外人诉说孩子的种种缺点,为了不让孩     

谨防对孩子“语言伤害”

“你不可救药,无可挽救了”、“你这孩子就是贪玩,不是读书的料”、“你这孩子怎么这样没有记性,真是木瓜脑袋”、“某某与你同龄样样都行,就你不行”、“像你这样,今后只能上街拉板车混饭吃了”,等等,在平时的课堂上和家庭教育中,我们经常会听到老师和家长这样训斥孩子。在老师和家长看来一句无关紧要的训斥,就有可能在孩子的心灵世界里造成持续的阴影,从而伤害孩子的感情,侮辱孩子的人格,损害孩子的自尊。相比于体罚的伤害,有的孩子把这种来自成人侮辱歧视性语言对自己造成的伤害称为“语言伤害”。据“中国少年儿童平安行动”组委会最近…     

“刺猬原则”解决早恋难题

如果发现孩子早恋,家长们会采取什么样的方式呢？近日,有记者随机调查了31闰广州的中学生家长。结果发现,绝大多数家长最担心的就是“影响学习”。但约有七成家长对孩子早恋抱着宽容、理解的态度,表示愿意“以平等的态度与孩子沟通,积极引导孩子避免早恋带来的不利影响”。[编者按]     

教子必须考虑其安全感

“你再调皮,妈妈就不要你了!”这是很多家长在教育不懂事的孩子时经常说的一句话,甚至有的家长还故意藏起来,直到孩子停止了某种行为后,妈妈才出现在孩子面前。然而,这个被很多家长惯用的招数,对孩子的心理发展有很大伤害,甚至不亚于对孩子体罚。     

学会独立

日常生活中,我们到处可见“长不大”的孩子。缺少独立性可谓独生子女的“通病”。我们许多期望孩子成才,扶助孩子成才的家长们,包揽了孩子力所能及的很多事情,以至养成孩子事事依赖别人,独立性差。长此以往,这些依赖性强     

择校到底对孩子学习好不好

上一所好的小学,然后再上一所好的初中和高中,考上理想的大学一这似乎是大多数家长为孩子设计的人生“三部曲”。由于受优质教育资源的限制,对许多家长米说,要唱好“三部曲”中的哪一部都不容易。尽管全国各级教育部门都明令遏制义务教育阶段择校,但是多数城市的家长们为了自己的孩子能进名校、读“重点”,还没到入学时间,许多家长早已忙开,新一轮的择校大战已经打响。     

家长对孩子越严越好吗

平时,常可以听到一些家长批评孩子,对孩子左不顺眼、右不称心,弄得孩子很为难。其实,做家长大可不必对孩子吹毛求疵。一个人从出生到成人,其间要经历无数次的“失败”,对于成长中的孩子,是不可多得的锻炼。有道是:多一分感受,多一点经验;多一点积累,多一分成熟。相反,如果家长对孩子过于“严格要求”,则有碍于孩子的健康成长,其危害性表现在以下三方面:一、养成怯懦心理 父母对孩子经常吹毛求疵,久而久之,会使孩子缺乏主动性、积极性和自信心,对自己的能力产生怀疑,出现“我大概是不     

家长对子女人格特点的自由描述──中国儿童样本对“大五”人格结构的验证

运用与荷兰、美国等国的跨文化研究组相同的访谈和编码方法,对我国北京和福州两个城市共４１０位的３至１２岁儿童的家长进行了访谈,目的是从自然语言途径,探讨我国儿童的人格特点,并将结果与国外同样研究进行跨文化比较。结果表明：本样本儿童的人格特点可以运用成人“五因素模型”进行解释。并且,中国家长提供的自由描述完全可以纳入美国和荷兰研究组设计的“１４概念”编码系统。与其他国家的结果相比．中国家长对于“谨慎性”概念的重视程度远高于美国、荷兰和比利时儿童的家长,表现出显著的文化差异。此外,中国家长对于孩子“智力”问题的注意多于西方国家的家长,但对孩子在“宜人性”概念上的描述则最少。     

From Freud to Gehrig to Rapaport to DiMaggio

Lacking the size, talent, and speed to play shortstop for the New York Yankees, I chose instead to become a psychologist/psychoanalyst. Yet, baseball and psychoanalysis share much in common. Each is played in the inner diamonds of one's mind, values the past and what is passing, and requires a strong work ethic. Both are timeless and involve an almost boring leisureliness between occasional moments of crisis. Then too, each calls for an attitude of consistency and patience and a responsibility to do one's best. From my parents and brother to my wife and son and his family, from my teachers and supervisors to my colleagues, and from Menninger to the Society for Personality Assessment (SPA), I feel deeply grateful for the partners and teammates I have and have had.     

From Biology to Consciousness to Morality

Abstract. Social animals are provisioned with prosocial orientations that operate to transcend self‐interest. Morality, as used here, describes human versions of such orientations. We explore the evolutionary antecedents of morality in the context of emergentism, giving considerable attention to the biological traits that undergird awareness and our emergent human forms of mind. We suggest that our moral frames of mind emerge from our primate prosocial capacities, transfigured and valenced by our symbolic languages, cultures, and religions.     

How Not to Apply to College

Samples of letters written by college students are excerpted to demonstrate the deterioration of students' writing skills. The relative unimportance many college students and graduates attach to the art of writing letters of inquiry is emphasized. A checklist is provided to assist students in preparing letters requesting information from colleges and universities.     

From object to image to object

Images are mental representations accommodated by grammatical structures. These structures order sensori-input of information as well as provide for articulated ways of expressing motor sequences associated with images. The psychological process of perception is reflected in the development of paradigmatic structures. The psychological process of action (behavior and its mental representations) is reflected in the development of syntagmatic structures. Forming and expressing imagery requires both paradigmatic and syntagmatic structuring. The former relates to logical issues of identity of objects and to the formation of concepts. The latter relates to the solution of psycho-logical questions of causality through articulation of grammatical roles in sentences. Two issues affecting the formation of a model to account for imagery are examined: (1) The tendency to explain imagery as a result of motor sequences and to utilize performance grammar. (2) The impact of ontogenesis on social processes affecting the logical and psycho-logical concerns facing the person at different stages of development. The grammar of imagery is seen as broader than one of performance. The epistemology of imagemaking does not reflect a linear ontogenetic development which precludes attention to problems of creating the logical structures of an object.     

Reply to Letter to the Editor

The current policy of the National Institute of Health designed to increase the participation of women and minorities is radically different from previous policies designed to protect minorities from abuses in research studies. The principal arguments to support this policy are twofold: 1) Increased representation of minorities and women in research would increase the generalizability of research data and allow for valid analyses of differences in subpopulations; and 2) being in a clinical research study is advantageous to participants regardless of the final research study results. It remains unclear whether minorities find these arguments compelling. Instead of telling minorities that participation in research is good for them, the research community should focus on understanding what minority communities want from clinical research and then tailoring the message to meet this need. Persuasive arguments to promote long-term increased representation of minorities in clinical research must come from within minority communities.