Walking the walk,talking the talk: Love languages,self‐regulation,and relationship satisfaction

Much clinical work has utilized G. Chapman's (1995) “love languages” model to promote relationship satisfaction, yet the model remains untested. This study addressed this issue by testing the hypothesis that couples with aligned love languages would report higher relationship satisfaction; we also explored the role that self‐regulation played in promoting satisfaction. A total of 67 heterosexual couples were assessed on love language preference, self‐regulation, and relationship satisfaction. Results provided limited evidence that love language alignment promotes satisfaction; self‐regulation contributed greater variance in satisfaction. Dyadic analyses identified that female self‐regulation positively impacted both male and female relationship satisfaction when couples had dissimilar primary love languages, although significant actor effects were also important predictors for both genders. The outcomes of this study suggest that the effectiveness of Chapman's model may be dependent on both spouses exhibiting appropriate self‐regulatory behaviors and that female self‐regulation plays an important role in predicting relationship satisfaction for both partners when they have different preferred love languages.     

Trauma Symptoms,Communication, and Relationship Satisfaction in Military Couples

Trauma symptoms are negatively correlated with couple relationship satisfaction, which is of particular importance in the relationships of military personnel who are often exposed to trauma whilst on overseas deployment. This study tested a model in which communication mediated an association between trauma symptoms and low relationship satisfaction. Thirty‐one Australian military couples were observationally assessed during a communication task, and assessed on their relationship satisfaction and individual functioning. As expected, trauma symptoms in the male military spouse were associated with low satisfaction in both spouses. Females’ low positive communication fully mediated the relationship between males’ trauma symptoms and low female satisfaction, but not male relationship satisfaction. Unexpectedly, males’ negative communication behaviors were associated with high male relationship satisfaction, and partially mediated the association between trauma symptoms and male satisfaction. Discussion focused on how some communication usually thought of as negative might be associated with relationship satisfaction in military couples.     

Communication,conflict, and commitment: insights on the foundations of relationship success from a national survey

The key relationship dynamics of communication, conflict, and commitment were investigated using data from a randomly sampled, nationwide phone survey of adults in married, engaged, and cohabiting relationships. Findings on communication and conflict generally replicated those of studies using more indepth or objective measurement strategies. Negative interaction between partners was negatively associated with numerous measures of relationship quality and positively correlated with divorce potential (thinking or talking about divorce). Withdrawal during conflict by either or both partners, though quite common, was associated with more negativity and less positive connection in relationships. The most frequently reported issue that couples argue about in first marriages was money, and in re-marriages it was conflict about children. Overall, how couples argue was more related to divorce potential than was what they argue about, although couples who argue most about money tended to have higher levels of negative communication and conflict than other couples. Further, while the male divorce potential was more strongly linked to levels of negative interaction, the female was more strongly linked to lower positive connection in the relationship. Consistent with the commitment literature, higher reported commitment was associated with less alternative monitoring, less feeling trapped in the relationship, and greater relationship satisfaction.     

Daily Events for Clinical Couples: Examining Therapy Interventions,Positive Events,Arguments, and Exercise in the Beginning Stage of Therapy

This study examined the daily association of several events within the beginning phase of couple therapy. Events examined were as follows: trying something from therapy, an argument, a positive event, and physical exercise. Participants were 33 couples in a treatment‐as‐usual setting who completed the Daily Diary of Events in Couple Therapy (DDECT). A dyadic multilevel model was used to explore the daily associations between predictor and outcome variables. Results showed when male partners tried something from therapy at rates greater than the average their female partners reported a more positive relationship while when female partners tried something from therapy at rates greater than the average it contributed to a more negative relationship. In addition, results showed that clients in couple therapy rarely try things from therapy on a daily basis. Finally, relative to other predictors trying something from therapy had a smaller, but significant relationship with outcomes.     

Individual and Couple Patterns of Self-views and their Implications for Working with Premarital Couple Relationship Dissatisfaction

A sample of 520 Australian heterosexual couples participating in the PREPARE premarital program completed the multidimensional PREPARE relationship assessment inventory (Olson D. H. Prepare-Enrich Counsellor’s Manual. Brisbane, Australia: Prepare-Enrich, 1996) providing measures of couple relationship satisfaction and individual levels of self-confidence, assertiveness, avoidance, and partner dominance. Multiple regression analyses indicated that, after controlling for idealistic distortion and couple relationship status, high individual male and female self-confidence and assertiveness, and low individual male and female avoidance and partner dominance, were all significant independent predictors of couple satisfaction. Couples in which both partners were high on self-confidence were significantly more satisfied than couples in which one or both of the partners were low on self-confidence. A similar result was evident for couple patterns involving mutually high assertiveness, low avoidance or low partner dominance, relative to couple patterns in which one or both partners were unassertive, highly avoidant or high in partner dominance. These aspects of self-view point to a salient evidence-based intrapersonal and interpersonal context in which to conduct couple therapy.     

Couple communication in stepfamilies

Effective communication is assumed to help sustain couple relationships and is a key focus of most relationship education programs. We assessed couple problem-solving communication in 65 stepfamily and 52 first-time-marrying couples, with each group stratified into high risk and low risk for relationship problems based on family-of-origin experiences. Relative to partners in first-time couples, partners in stepfamily couples were less positive, less negative, and more likely to withdraw from discussion. Risk was associated with communication in first-time but not stepfamily couples. Stepfamily couples do not exhibit the negative communication evident in high-risk first-time-marrying couples, and available relationship education programs that focus on reducing negative communication are unlikely to meet the needs of stepfamilies.     

Low intimacy as a mediator between depression and clinic couple relationship satisfaction

This study examined low intimacy as a mediator between partners' depression symptoms and low relationship satisfaction in a sample of 82 heterosexual couples who sought therapy at an outpatient clinic. Both the amount of intimate behavior that partners enact and the level of pleasure they experience from each other's intimate acts were assessed. Using an actor–partner interdependence model approach, path model analysis simultaneously included both partners' scores on measures of depression, intimate behavior, pleasure from partner's intimate behavior, and relationship satisfaction. Overall, female depression symptoms had a greater impact than male depression symptoms on the couple relationship. Male depression had little effect on intimacy, whereas the female partner's depression affected her pleasure from the male's intimate behavior and both partners' enactment of intimate behavior. The results indicate the importance of examining reciprocal influences between partners' functioning to understand and treat intimacy problems.     

Assessing the health of a dyadic relationship in heterosexual and same‐sex partners

The purpose of this study was to assess characteristics of a measure of monitoring the health of a dyadic relationship based on data from self‐report surveys completed by both partners from dating heterosexual, married heterosexual, cohabiting gay male, and cohabiting lesbian couples from the United States (Ns = 127, 46, 81, and 224, respectively). Covariation among the measure’s 7 items conformed to 1 latent factor. Intraclass correlations between partners from the same couple were positive. Gender effects occurred only for married couples, with wives having higher scores than husbands. One’s own and one’s partner’s monitoring accounted for unique variance in one’s own commitment, even with controls for other variables. Monitoring buffered the negative effects of neuroticism on commitment.     

Observational Research of Negative Communication and Self-Reported Relationship Satisfaction

Clinical researchers suggest more real-world types of data are needed to understand negative communication in couples. This study asked, what is the relationship between partners’ reports of relationship satisfaction and frequencies of observed markers of negative communication? Fifty-three clinical and community couples completed self-report assessments and ten-minute discussions of relationship concerns. Data were analyzed using pooled regression to account for both actor and partner effects of relationship quality scores on hostility, distress-maintaining attributions, dysphoric affect, and withdrawal. Results yielded a significant actor female effect for hostility and a significant male-to-female partner effect for distress-maintaining attribution.     

Romantic love: What’s emotional intelligence (EI) got to do with it?

The study examined the role of EI in romantic love among newlywed couples. In addition, we set out to assess to what degree outcomes depend on the specific EI measure employed, i.e., maximal performance (ability-based) vs. typical performance (self-report). In the dyadic design implemented in this research, 100 young heterosexual married couples independently completed the Mayer–Salovey–Caruso emotional intelligence test (MSCEIT), the Schutte self-report inventory (SSRI), and a vocabulary subtest of the MILTA group intelligence battery. EI, assessed via an ability and a self-report measure, showed significant ‘actor effects’, but failed to show significant ‘partner effects’, thus only partially supporting the hypothesis that EI predicts romantic love. Whereas ability-based and self-report measures show the same pattern of relationship with romantic love in dyadic assessments, the magnitudes of outcome relationships as well as the correlations of EI with verbal ability are measure-dependent. Marital partners were not correlated on EI, thus providing little evidence for assortative mating for EI.     

The complementarity of behavioral styles among female same‐gender romantic couples

This study extended previous research on complementarity through the examination of female same‐gender romantic dyads. One‐hundred and forty‐four women (72 couples) completed interpersonal circumplex ratings of their romantic partner and a relationship measure of love and harmony. Results indicated that high levels of relationship quality were reported by participants who were warm and submissive or who had partners who possessed these characteristics. Additionally, members of female same‐gender couples tended to complement each other in terms of dominance but not warmth. However, consistent with past research stressing the unique importance female same‐gender couples tend to prescribe to relationship equality, dyads that contained members who were equivalent in terms of dominance tended to experience high levels of relationship quality.     

The Effectiveness of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy With Veterans With PTSD: A Pilot Study

The current study is a pilot project conducted at Baltimore VA Medical Center investigating the use of emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT) for couples in which one partner is a veteran who has been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Fifteen couples enrolled in the study and seven of these couples completed treatment (26 to 36 weekly sessions of EFT). Both partners were assessed on measures of relationship satisfaction, psychological distress, depression, and quality of life, and veterans were assessed on measures of PTSD symptoms at baseline and 2 weeks after the intervention. Paired t-tests were used to compare scores before and after EFT. In terms of results, the veterans' partners reported significant improvements in relationship and life satisfaction and in decreased depression and a decrease in psychological distress. Veterans demonstrated a significant decrease in self-reported symptoms of PTSD. These results provide preliminary evidence for the usefulness of EFT to help foster improved relationship satisfaction, and psychological well-being for veterans with PTSD and their partners who completed treatment.     

Assessing Couple Therapy as a Treatment for Individual Distress: When is Referral to Couple Therapy Contraindicated?

In order to better understand the effects of initial level of psychological disturbance on treatment outcome, a retrospective case control study of 95 couples who received couple therapy was conducted by sorting couples into one of four groups based on the degree of distress reported by individuals at intake: Neither distressed; both distressed; male distressed, female not distressed; female distressed, male not distressed. When partners started treatment with similar levels of disturbance both responded well in couple therapy. However, if the female reported clinical levels of disturbance at intake but her partner did not, outcome for the female was especially poor in contrast to outcomes for females receiving individual therapy. Clinically disturbed males showed significant gains in treatment even when their partners were not disturbed. These suggestive results argue for the possible value of conducting controlled studies of treatment assignment decisions that maximize positive outcomes.     

Sexual media use and relational satisfaction in heterosexual couples

This study assessed how sexual media use by one or both members of a romantic dyad relates to relationship and sexual satisfaction. A total of 217 heterosexual couples completed an Internet survey that assessed sexual media use, relationship and sexual satisfaction, and demographic variables. Results revealed that a higher frequency of men's sexual media use related to negative satisfaction in men, while a higher frequency of women's sexual media use related to positive satisfaction in male partners. Reasons for sexual media use differed by gender: Men reported primarily using sexual media for masturbation, while women reported primarily using sexual media as part of lovemaking with their partners. Shared sexual media use was associated with higher relational satisfaction compared to solitary sexual media use.     

Repeating the Errors of Our Parents? Family‐of‐Origin Spouse Violence and Observed Conflict Management in Engaged Couples*

Based on a developmental social learning analysis, it was hypothesized that observing parental violence predisposes partners to difficulties in managing couple conflict. Seventy-one engaged couples were assessed on their observation of parental violence in their family of origin. All couples were videotaped discussing two areas of current relationship conflict, and their cognitions during the interactions were assessed using a video-mediated recall procedure. Couples in which the male partner reported observing parental violence (male-exposed couples) showed more negative affect and communication during conflict discussions than couples in which neither partner reported observing parental violence (unexposed couples). Couples in which only the female partner reported observing parental violence (female-exposed couples) did not differ from unexposed couples in their affect or behavior. Female-exposed couples reported more negative cognitions than unexposed couples, but male-exposed couples did not differ from unexposed couples in their reported cognitions.     

A Dyadic Analysis of the Between‐ and Within‐System Alliances on Distress

To read this article's abstract in both Spanish and Mandarin Chinese, please visit the article's full‐text page on Wiley InterScience ( http://interscience.wiley.com/journal/famp ). This study examines the relationship between the therapeutic alliance and distress using the couple rather than the individual as the unit of analysis. One hundred and seventy‐three couples receiving treatment for relational distress at two university clinics participated in this study. The actor–partner interdependence model was used to analyze the relationship of each partner's between‐ and within‐system alliance scores and distress at session four. Results provide support for actor effects on relational distress for both male and female partners and for actor effects on psychological distress for female partners. Limited support was found for partner effects on distress. Furthermore, results indicate that the alliance between partners is a stronger predictor of improvement in early sessions in comparison with the alliance between the individual and the therapist.     

Couple Therapy with Veterans: Early Improvements and Predictors of Early Dropout

Family services within Veterans Affairs Medical Centers fulfill an important role in addressing relationship distress among Veterans, which is highly prevalent and comorbid with psychopathology. However, even for evidence‐based couple therapies, effectiveness is weaker compared to controlled studies, maybe because many Veteran couples drop out early and do not reach the “active” treatment stage after the 3–4 session assessment. In order to improve outcomes, it is critical to identify couples at high risk for early dropout, and understand whether couples may benefit from the assessment as an intervention. The current study examined (a) demographics, treatment delivery mode, relationship satisfaction, and psychological symptoms as predictors of dropout during and immediately following the assessment phase, and (b) changes in relationship satisfaction during assessment. 174 couples completed questionnaires during routine intake procedures. The main analyses focused on 140 male Veterans and their female civilian partners; 36.43% dropped out during the assessment phase and 24.74% of the remaining couples immediately following the first treatment session. More severe depressive symptoms in non‐Veteran partners were associated with dropout during assessment. Relationship satisfaction improved significantly during the assessment phase for couples who did not drop out, with larger gains for non‐Veteran partners. No demographics or treatment delivery mode were associated with dropout. Although more research is needed on engaging couples at risk for early dropout and maximizing early benefits, the findings suggest that clinicians should attend to the civilian partner's and Veteran's depressive symptoms at intake and consider the assessment part of active treatment.     

No need for pedestals: Idealization does not predict better relationships among Asians

The authors tested whether partner idealization was positively associated with relationship quality among 105 intraracially dating Asian American couples (Study 1) and 98 Chinese couples (Study 2) through two methods. The commonly used residual‐based approach found, in both samples, the positive associations between idealizing a partner and relationship quality previously documented among European/European Americans. In contrast, the piece‐wise regression analysis, which distinguished between idealization and derogation, found few positive associations between idealizing a partner and relationship quality. Similarly, being the object of idealization rarely predicted greater relationship quality for either sample, even when perceived idealization was tested. Derogation, however, predicted relationship outcomes. Therefore, future studies should focus on negative behaviors or attitudes (or the lack thereof) in understanding relationship outcomes.     

“Date nights” take two: The maintenance function of shared relationship activities

One‐hundred and ninety‐six individuals (Study 1) and 83 couples (Study 2) reported on their shared relationship activities—activities that individuals engage in with their partner to facilitate closeness in their romantic relationships. Couples also reported on the quality of their shared activities and relationships 3 months later (Study 2). Results indicated that shared activities help to sustain relationships, and do so beyond threat‐based maintenance strategies (i.e., accommodation). Activities that were satisfying, stress‐free, and increased closeness predicted greater relationship quality concurrently and longitudinally. However, positive activity and relationship outcomes depended on the degree to which partners were dedicated to the activity, indicating that shared activities sustain relationship quality only when partners are responsive and want to share relationship activities.