To Know You is (Not) to Want You: Mediators Between Sociosexual Orientation and Romantic Commitment

Past studies have indicated that individuals with an unrestricted sociosexual orientation (SO; ‘unrestricted’ reflects comfort with sex outside the confines of a committed relationship) emphasize attractiveness and desirability when pursuing romantic partners. Additionally, SO is related to decreased commitment, and ultimately increased infidelity, in a current romantic relationship. Thus, the current study investigates potential mediators between sociosexual orientation (SO) and romantic commitment. Perceptions of a romantic partner’s characteristics such as physical attractiveness, various personality traits, and perceived similarities were examined as mediators. The findings indicate perceived social skills, intellect, and perceived similarities with the partner were all significant mediators between SO and commitment. Additionally, physical attractiveness was a marginally significant mediator. The final mediation model suggests that individuals with unrestricted SOs may have lower commit in their current relationships because participants with an unrestricted SO, compared to participants with a restricted SO, rated their partners as having fewer social skills, less intellect, and also fewer similarities between themselves and their partners.     

Adult attachment and dating strategies: How do insecure people attract mates?

When asked to choose among secure or insecurely attached partner prototypes, research shows that people tend to select secure individuals as their first choice. Despite this pattern, not everyone chooses secure partners in reality. The goal of this study was to examine the ways in which insecure individuals present themselves that might make them attractive to others. To achieve this goal, participants were led to believe that they were interacting with a possible date. That insecure individuals presented themselves as warm, engaging, and humorous people when communicating with potential mates were found. These findings suggest that insecure people have numerous dating tactics and positive qualities that they display to win over romantic partners.     

Perceptions of the physical attractiveness of the self, current romantic partners, and former partners

This study examined ratings of physical attractiveness of the self and former and current partners. A total of 304 participants completed measures of attractiveness, relationship satisfaction, love dimensions, self-esteem and sociosexual orientation. Consistent with previous work, results showed that participants rated their current partners as more attractive than themselves and their former partners. However, results also showed that former partners were rated as more attractive than the self on a number of bodily characteristics. Finally, results showed that ratings of former partner physical attractiveness were associated with passion for the former partner, self-esteem, sociosexual orientation, and attributions of relationship termination. These results are discussed in relation to the available literature on positive illusions in intimate relationships.     

Responses to verifying and enhancing appraisals from romantic partners: the role of trait importance and trait visibility

An experiment assessed when people respond more positively to verifying and enhancing appraisals from romantic partners. Two‐hundred and fifty‐eight individuals comprising 129 dating couples participated in this research. Couples privately rated their self‐concept on traits that were either high or low on trait visibility, rated how important each trait was to them, and rated their partners. A computer program ostensibly compared their self‐ratings with appraisals from their partners on traits they selected as being high or low in personal importance, and participants received either verifying or enhancing feedback. Confirming predictions, people believed their partners understood them more when they received verifying feedback, but felt their partners saw the best in them when they received enhancing feedback. Additionally, people responded more positively to verifying appraisals on important, less visible traits, and enhancing appraisals on important, highly visible traits. Results are discussed in terms of preferences for enhancing and verifying feedback in romantic relationships. Copyright © 2005 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Sociosexual Orientation and Sexual Behavior in Mexican Adults

Sociosexual orientation includes individual differences in sexual attitudes and behaviors, in relation to the extent in which an individual could be sexually active without affective bonds and commitment. Sociosexuality is related to sexual behavior and can speak to the differences between men and women in how they express their sexuality ( Simpson & Gangestad, 1991 ; Hebl & Casi, 1995 ; Ostovich & Sabini, 2004 ). This study explores sociosexual orientation and sexual behavior in Mexican adults, in order to identify differences in sociosexual orientation related to biological sex and relationship status. It also assesses the relationship between sociosexual orientation and sexual behavior and to predict sexual behavior from sociosexual orientation. The sample was composed of 209 Mexican adults between 19 and 61 years of age. Thirty‐seven percent were male, and 63% were female. Participants answered a standardized Spanish version of the Sociosexual Orientation Inventory ( Simpson & Gangestad, 1991 ) and a Sexual Behavior Inventory developed for the present project ( García Rodríguez, 2007 ). In general, there is great variability in the frequency of each of the sexual behaviors assessed and in the total number of sexual partners. Moreover, participants perceive themselves restricted in their sexual attitudes and behaviors. Men are more permissive and less restricted in attitudes and behaviors than women, and individuals who are dating informally have a higher behavioral sociosexual orientation than those who are living with their partner. Additionally, the higher sociosexuality, the more frequent sexual practices are and the higher the number of sexual partners. Finally, sociosexuality predicts the frequency of sexual practices and the number of lifetime sexual partners.     

Of lust and love: Beliefs about the role of sexual desire in romantic relationships

Little is known about the beliefs that men and women have about the role of sexual desire in romantic relationships, despite the interpersonal and individual significance of those beliefs. Three experiments conducted with students from a university in the midwestern United States examined both the perceived consequences of sexual desire for romantic relationships and beliefs about the association between sexual desire and romantic love. Men and women believed that dating partners who desire each other sexually are more likely to experience romantic love and other “positive” interpersonal events and less likely to experience “negative” events than partners who do not desire each other sexually, regardless of their level of sexual activity (Experiment 1). Similarly, partners who are romantically in love were viewed as more likely to desire each other than were partners who love or who like one another, and desire was perceived as equally likely to occur in loving and liking relationships; that is, sexual desire did not differentiate these two affective syndromes (Experiment 2). In couples with a mismatched sexual desire pattern, the high-desire partner was perceived as more likely than the sexually uninterested partner to be in love, satisfied, committed, happy, and jealous, whereas the low-desire partner was viewed as more likely to terminate the relationship and to be unfaithful (Experiment 3). These results suggest that sexual desire is viewed as an important feature of romantic love, and that its presence or absence in a dating relationship is believed to have implications for the emotional tenor and interpersonal dynamics of that relationship.     

Generalized and specific attachment representations: unique and interactive roles in predicting conflict behaviors in close relationships

The authors expected that associations between the representations individuals possess regarding romantic partners and their conflict behavior would be moderated by generalized attachment representations (GAR). To test this premise, college students (N =130) were administered two attachment measures and were observed during conflict negotiation with their partners. The Relationship Styles Questionnaire assessed specific representations regarding partners and GAR were measured by the Adult Attachment Interview. The relationship between romantic partner representations and conflict tactics were dependent on GAR. Individuals who possessed secure GAR generally displayed good conflict management skills, regardless of their attachment representations regarding their romantic partners. Individuals who held more anxious or avoidant perceptions of romantic partners displayed more problematic conflict tactics if they possessed insecure GAR; however, these associations were dependent on the type of conflict behavior and the type of insecure GAR. Implications for future research are discussed.     

The Role of Attachment Anxiety and Avoidance in Communication Modality and Relationship Quality of Romantic Relationships Initiated Online

This study explores the relationships among an individual's attachment anxiety and avoidance, the ratio of technology mediated communication (TMC) in their relationship, and relationship quality for individuals who met their romantic partners online. Participants (N = 219) consisted of individuals between the ages of 18–25, who were US citizens, and met a romantic partner utilizing online dating, dating mobile web applications, social networking sites, online chatrooms, or any way of meeting through technology. A survey measuring relationship beliefs, relationship attitudes, and use of technology was distributed and completed via MTurk. Structural equation modeling revealed that anxious attachment was associated with a higher ratio of TMC, whereas avoidant attachment was not significantly related with the ratio of TMC. Higher ratios of TMC were associated with lower relationship quality. Implications for intervention are discussed.     

Behavior expectations in cross‐sex friendships,same‐sex friendships,and romantic relationships

Abstract In 2 studies, university students from the United States rated the importance of 43 behavior expectations about their cross‐sex friends, same‐sex friends and romantic partners. In Study 1, all 399 participants had a current romantic partner, whereas in Study 2, romantic partner status varied across the 165 participants. Participants always rated their expectations for romantic partners higher than for either type of friend, and expectations for behaviors promoting emotional closeness were always rated higher than expectations about behaviors promoting social companionship or relationship positivity. In Study 2, expectations for cross‐sex friends were rated lower and more similar to same‐sex friends when participants had a current romantic partner than when they did not.     

Pulling the strings: Effects of friend and parent opinions on dating choices

The current study examined how dating choices are affected when individuals are faced with social network opinions that are in agreement or disagreement about the quality of potential dates. In a virtual dating game paradigm, participants spoke to 2 potential romantic partners online and received positive and/or negative feedback ostensibly from their friend and parent about 1 of the partners. The study employed a 2 (parent opinion: approve, disapprove) × 2 (friend opinion: approve, disapprove) × 2 (interaction partner: evaluated target, control target—within subjects) mixed factorial design. Friend opinion influenced who the participants liked, whereas parental opinion was influential when participants relied on their parent for more resources than their friend. In the end, though, only friend opinion predicted dating choice.     

Predicting preferences for dating partners from past experiences of psychological abuse: identifying the psychological ingredients of situations

Are women who have been the victim of psychological abuse in the past more likely to prefer an abusive dating partner in the future? Are men who have been the perpetrator of abuse more likely to prefer a dating partner with high attachment anxiety, a characteristic associated with victims of abuse? The present research used a highly repeated, within-subject, multilevel approach to identify the characteristics of potential dating partners that constitute salient psychological ingredients of situations influencing partner preference. Study 1 found that college-age women who reported more instances of receiving psychological abuse, compared to women who did not, showed a stronger preference for male dating partners who possessed characteristics associated with an abusive personality (e.g., possessiveness). Study 2 found that college-age men who reported more instances of inflicting psychological abuse, compared to men who did not, showed a stronger preference for female dating partners characterized by high attachment anxiety.     

Shifting toward cooperative tendencies and forgiveness: How partner‐focused prayer transforms motivation

Several studies tested whether partner‐focused prayer shifts individuals toward cooperative tendencies and forgiveness. In Studies 1 and 2, participants who prayed more frequently for their partner were rated by objective coders as less vengeful. Study 3 showed that, compared to partners of targets in the positive partner thought condition, the romantic partners of targets assigned to pray reported a positive change in their partner's forgiveness. In Study 4, participants who prayed following a partner's “hurtful behavior” were more cooperative with their partners in a mixed‐motive game compared to participants who engaged in positive thoughts about their partner. In Study 5, participants who prayed for a close relationship partner reported higher levels of cooperative tendencies and forgiveness.     

Adult attachment style and partner choice: Correlational and experimental findings

Three studies were conducted to assess the role of attachment style in partner selection using both correlational and experimental methods. Study 1 (n = 83 couples) assessed correlations between partner ratings on attachment-style dimensions and the relations between own and partner attachment style and relationship satisfaction. In Study 2 (n = 226) and Study 3 (n = 146), participants who varied in terms of attachment style rated the desirability of potential partners who also differed in terms of attachment style. Results of all three studies generally suggested that individuals were most attracted to partners with similar attachment styles. For example, anxious individuals tended to be dating anxious partners in Study 1, and they preferred anxious partners over secure and avoidant partners in Studies 2 and 3 (combined data). Thus, not all individuals preferred secure partners. Second, unlike previous studies that looked primarily at partner correlations, there was no evidence of anxious/avoidant matching. In fact, anxious individuals seemed particularly averse to avoidant partners. Finally, ratings of parental caregiving styles (especially ratings of mothers) were associated with adult attachment dimensions and partner choices. For example, individuals who rated their mothers as more cold and ambivalent were less attracted to secure partners. Clinical and research implications are discussed.     

Attachment and the experience and expression of emotions in romantic relationships: a developmental perspective

In this longitudinal study, the authors tested a developmental hypothesis derived from attachment theory and recent empirical findings. Target participants were 78 individuals who have been studied intensively from infancy into their mid-20s. When targets were 20-23 years old, the authors tested the way in which interpersonal experiences at 3 pivotal points in each target's earlier social development--infancy/early childhood, early elementary school, and adolescence--predicted the pattern of positive versus negative emotions experienced with his or her romantic partner. A double-mediation model revealed that targets classified as securely attached at 12 months old were rated as more socially competent during early elementary school by their teachers. Targets' social competence, in turn, forecasted their having more secure relationships with close friends at age 16, which in turn predicted more positive daily emotional experiences in their adult romantic relationships (both self- and partner-reported) and less negative affect in conflict resolution and collaborative tasks with their romantic partners (rated by observers). These results are discussed in terms of attachment theory and how antecedent life experiences may indirectly shape events in current relationships.     

The association between attachment orientations and partner evaluations: An ideal standards perspective

This research examined links between attachment orientations and evaluations of potential and existing relationship partners with respect to ideal standards. In Study 1, attachment anxiety and avoidance predicted the tradeoffs individuals made when choosing between potential mates. In Studies 2 and 3, attachment anxiety and avoidance were associated with ideal partner discrepancies within existing relationships. The findings across the three studies suggest that highly anxious individuals are more likely to use the ideal partner warmth/trustworthiness and status/resources dimensions when evaluating hypothetical and actual romantic partners, whereas highly avoidant individuals are more inclined to use the ideal partner vitality/attractiveness and status/resources dimensions when making partner evaluations. These novel findings are discussed in terms of evolutionary models of mating strategies and evaluations.     

Physical attractiveness, romantic love, and equity restoration in dating relationships

Measures of physical attractiveness, romantic love, and dominance were given to a sample of 123 dating couples. Contrary to expectation, attractive subjects were not loved more than those judged as less attractive. As suggested by equity theory, however, subjects who believed that their partners were the more attractive member of the dyad loved their partners more (p < .05) and indicated greater submission in their relationships (p < .01) than those who believed that they were the more attractive member. The results suggest that as the dating relationship progresses, the relative difference in attractiveness between partners may become a more important determinant of attraction than overall level of attractiveness.     

Physical Attractiveness,Romantic Love,and Equity Restoration in Dating Relationships

Measures of physical attractiveness, romantic love, and dominance were given to a sample of 123 dating couples. Contrary to expectation, attractive subjects were not loved more than those judged as less attractive. As suggested by equity theory, however, subjects who believed that their partners were the more attractive member of the dyad loved their partners more (p < .05) and indicated greater submission in their relationships (p < .01) than those who believed that they were the more attractive member. The results suggest that as the dating relationship progresses, the relative difference in attractiveness between partners may become a more important determinant of attraction than overall level of attractiveness.     

Family approval as a constraint in dependency regulation: Evidence from Australia and Indonesia

Murray and colleagues’ dependency regulation model suggests that individuals in romantic relationships permit themselves to be emotionally dependent on a romantic partner only when they are certain they are valued by their partners. We argue that in cultures where family has a role in mate selection, family approval of the relationship provides an additional constraint on emotional dependence. Reports of relationship perceptions were collected from Australian and Indonesian individuals in dating relationships. The traditional dependency regulation model was affirmed for the Australian sample, but regulation of emotional dependence was best accounted for by both feelings of security in a partner’s affections and perceptions of approval from the partner’s family for the Indonesian sample.     

Detached and antagonistic: Pathological personality features and mate retention behaviors

Basic personality features have been found to be associated with a variety of romantic relationship outcomes including the strategies that individuals employ to retain their romantic partners. In the current studies, we were interested in determining whether pathological personality features were associated with mate retention behaviors. We examined the associations between the pathological personality features captured by the PID-5 and mate retention behaviors across two samples (i.e., an undergraduate sample and a community sample). Pathological personality features reflecting negative affect, detachment, and antagonism were associated with mate retention behaviors such that individuals who possessed these features were less likely to provide benefits to their partner and more likely to inflict costs on them. Discussion focuses on the implications of these findings and how they can influence the tactics that individuals employ to maintain their romantic relationships.