TOWARD A THEORY OF FRIENDSHIP BASED ON A CONCEPTION OF SELF

The present theory of friendship is based on a conception of self that regards a central motive to be the person's concern for the well-being and worth of the entity (s) he identifies as self. This concern manifests itself in tendencies to affirm one's sense of individuality, affirm one's more important self-attributes, evaluate one's self positively, and change toward positive self-growth. Friendship involves investments of self in a relationship characterized by the partners' voluntary interdependence and personalized concern for one another. The investment, entailing expenditures of time, personal resources, and personalized concern yields dividends experienced concretely as a partner's self-affirmation value, ego support value, stimulation value, or utility value. Several facets of friendship growth and change are considered, including the degree to which the relationship is difficult to maintain.     

Remembering Friends as Not So Friendly in Competitive and Bargaining Social Interactions

From children's schoolyard play to executives' boardroom negotiations, competitive and bargaining interactions are common to everyday life. Sometimes, the interacting parties are socially close and sometimes not. In this research, we examine how friendship influences memory for actions in such interactions. Dyads consisting of either friends or strangers played a competitive card game (Study 1) or the ultimatum game (Studies 2 and 4) and then recalled the interaction. We find that participants remembered friends' play as more competitive (Study 1) and less generous (Studies 2 and 4) than strangers' play, even when friends' actual play was more generous than that of strangers (Studies 2 and 4). Friendship did not affect recall for one's own play. In a workplace setting, Study 3 reveals people expect more of work colleagues who are friends than of work colleagues who are acquaintances. Study 4 tests our complete model and shows that people expect more of friends than of strangers and that this difference in expectations explains the less favorable memory for friend's actions. Our findings are consistent with a negative disconfirmation account whereby people expect their friends to be less competitive and more generous, and when these expectations are violated, people remember friends' actions more negatively than they actually were. Much research shows positive effects of friendship norms on actual behavior. We demonstrate a negative effect on people's memory of friends' behavior in competitive and bargaining social interactions. Copyright © 2017 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Self‐consciousness,friendship quality,and adolescent internalizing problems

The correlates between public and private self‐consciousness and internalizing difficulties were examined during early adolescence. Friendship quality was assessed as a possible moderator of the relation between self‐consciousness and maladjustment. One hundred and thirty‐seven young adolescents (N=87 girls; M age=13.98 years) reported on their self‐consciousness, internalizing problems, and the quality of their best friendship. Results indicated stronger associations between private self‐consciousness and internalizing correlates than between public self‐consciousness and internalizing problems, suggesting that private self‐consciousness may be a stronger risk factor during adolescence. Contrary to expectations, evidence revealed that positive friendship quality may exacerbate some difficulties associated with self‐consciousness. Results pertaining to friendship quality add to the growing literature on the ways in which friendships can contribute to adjustment difficulties.     

Gender and friendship: Why are men's best same‐sex friendships less intimate and supportive?

Despite efforts to dismiss it, the finding that men's same‐sex friendships are less intimate and supportive than women's is robust and widely documented. We tested six possible explanations for this finding: lack of parental models for friendship, emotional restraint, homophobia, masculine self‐identity, competitive strivings, and role conflicts. Of these, emotional restraint and homophobia toward gay men provided the most explanatory power for gender effects on both intimacy and support in best friendships. Masculine self‐identity mediated the relationship between gender and intimate–but not supportive–friendship; and having a same‐sex parent with close friendships mediated the relationship between gender and supportive–but not intimate–friendship. Unexpected findings about the importance of a status orientation toward friendship suggest that researchers should abandon the male‐deficit model of friendship in favor of studying the reasons why some men and women seek close same‐sex friendships.     

Perceived locus of control and satisfaction in same–sex friendships

Two studies examined perceptions of locus of control (LofC) and friendship satisfaction. Study 1 tested the accuracy of college students’ perceptions of a friend's LofC and their friendship satisfaction. Participants perceived their friends to be similar to themselves on LofC and satisfaction but these perceptions did not match the friends’ self–ratings. Instead, the perceptions reflected a belief in the similarity to the self—the Attraction–Similarity Hypothesis. Study 2 tested whether own and perceived friend's LofC predicted own satisfaction. The Internality Hypothesis indicates that an external LofC would predict dissatisfaction but an internal LofC would predict satisfaction. It was also predicted that these effects would be stronger for women's friendships than for men's friendships. For female, but not male, friendships, perceptions of the friend's external LofC predicted dissatisfaction.     

Ask and you might receive: The actor–partner interdependence model approach to estimating cultural and gender variations in social support

As an essential part of close relationships, social support is a dynamic interactive process. This paper aims to simultaneously investigate social support‐seeking and provision behaviours using the Actor–Partner Interdependence Model (APIM). Ninety‐two friendship dyads participated in this study. Supportive versus negative friendship qualities were used to predict different support‐seeking and support‐provision behaviours during an experimental task. Cultural and gender variations were also examined. Results showed that self‐reported friendship qualities influence support‐seeking and provision behaviours intrapersonally and interpersonally. Female participants were more likely to provide emotion‐focused support than were male participants. After accounting for friendship qualities in the dyads, there was no evidence of cultural group differences on support‐seeking or provision behaviours among same‐sex friends. These results demonstrate the conceptual and empirical advantages of using APIM to unpack cultural and gender variations in social support processes.     

Friendship Work on Facebook: Young Adults' Understandings and Practices of Friendship

Young adults use social networking sites (SNSs) such as Facebook to engage as friends, yet there has been little systematic research that has investigated their sense‐making of friendship in relation to their uses of Facebook, as well as how Facebook as a socio‐technical system interacts with their friendship practices. Twelve friendship discussion groups were conducted in urban and non‐urban New Zealand, with 26 women and 25 men aged 18–25 years, in same and mixed‐gender groups. Our social constructionist thematic analysis showed the young adults made sense of friendship through themes of ‘fun times together’, an ‘investment’, ‘protection’ and ‘self‐authenticity’, and these meanings were enacted in particular ways within Facebook. This SNS was used primarily for enjoying friendship and ‘investing in’ friendships, and friendship protection was required to maintain friends' online privacy. Facebook provided a way to demonstrate self‐authenticity within friendship relationships through censored ‘show off’ self‐displays and favoured friendship activities. Facebook supported, disrupted and modified these particular friendship understandings by broadening the audience for friendship actions and intensifying friends' responses through 24/7 accessibility and instantaneous activity notifications. These interactions between friendship understandings and Facebook as a socio‐technical system demonstrate how friendship was reinforced, negotiated and re‐worked through this online context. Copyright © 2014 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Ambitious mothers – successful daughters: Mothers' early expectations for children's education and children's earnings and sense of control in adult life

Background . Mothers' expectations for their children's educational attainment are related to children's educational and occupational attainment. Studies have yet to establish, however, the long‐term links between maternal expectations and offspring earnings, which are not always related to occupational attainment especially in women, or between maternal expectations and offspring sense of control and self‐efficacy, which are pivotal factors in career choice and development. Aims . To explore the role of mothers' expectations for their children's educational attainment in children's earnings attainment and sense of control later in life. Method . Data from sweeps of the 1970 British Cohort Study (BCS70) were used. The study sample was those cohort members with complete information on all the variables of interest. The study sample (N = 3,285) was more educated and less disadvantaged than the whole sample. If cohort members of this type are more likely to have a mother who has high expectations, then our results are biased downwards, which suggests that we underestimate the effect of expectations on our two outcome variables. Results . Mothers' expectations at the age of 10 were positively related to daughters' sense of control at the age of 30 even after controlling for ethnicity, educational attainment, and concurrent partner, parent, and labour market participation status, as well as the following confounding variables (measured at the ages of 0–10): general ability and general ability squared, locus of control, emotional and behavioural problems and emotional and behavioural problems squared, socio‐economic disadvantage, parental social class, parental family structure, and mothers' education, child‐rearing attitudes, and mental health. Mothers' expectations had no effect on sons' adult outcomes. Conclusions . Given that women are particularly at risk for poor psychological and economic outcomes in adulthood, and that this study likely underestimated the effect of expectations on these two outcomes, this is an important conclusion.     

Counseling Expectations Among Students in an Opportunity Program: Dispositional and Cultural Influences

College students (N = 102) from African American and Latino backgrounds who participated in an opportunity program completed H. E. A. Tinsley's (1982) Expectations About Counseling‐Brief Form (EAC‐B) and measures of self‐esteem, attributional style, problem‐solving appraisal, acculturation, and cultural congruity. Lower self‐esteem and a more depressive attributional style were linked to lower counseling expectations. All 3 dispositional variables were more strongly related to counseling expectations among students reporting higher levels of immersion in their ethnic group of origin. Implications for help‐seeking and the counseling relationship are discussed.     

Seeking help from a female friend: Girls' competencies,friendship features,and intentions

Adolescent girls frequently manage problems by seeking help from friends. We examined girls' intentions of seeking help from a female friend and whether these intentions were related to their competencies (emotional competence, self‐disclosure) directly and/or indirectly via specific friendship features (companionship, closeness). Participants included 222 Canadian girls (Grades 9–12) who completed an anonymous survey at school. Results showed that girls had high intentions of seeking help from a female friend and that higher self‐disclosure competence was linked directly to higher intentions. Both competencies were linked indirectly to higher intentions mediated by friendship features. These findings indicate that competencies make help seeking by girls from girls likely in multiple ways and suggest how coping programs can address help seeking in girl–girl friendships.     

Young children's beliefs about self‐disclosure of performance failure and success

Self‐disclosure of performance information involves the balancing of instrumental, learning benefits (e.g., obtaining help) against social costs (e.g., diminished reputation). Little is known about young children's beliefs about performance self‐disclosure. The present research investigates preschool‐ and early school‐age children's expectations of self‐disclosure in different contexts. In two experiments, 3‐ to 7‐year‐old children (total N = 252) heard vignettes about characters who succeeded or failed at solving a puzzle. Both experiments showed that children across all ages reasoned that people are more likely to self‐disclose positive than negative performances, and Experiment 2 showed that children across all ages reasoned that people are more likely to self‐disclose both positive and negative performances in a supportive than an unsupportive peer environment. Additionally, both experiments revealed changes with age – Younger children were less likely to expect people to withhold their performance information (of both failures and successes) than older children. These findings point to the preschool ages as a crucial beginning to children's developing recognition of people's reluctance to share performance information.     

Attachment style and intimacy in friendship

Two studies with college students tested the hypothesis that a secure attachment style enhances intimacy in friendship. Three intimacy characteristics were studied: self‐disclosure; responsiveness to a partner's disclosure; and feeling understood, validated, and cared for by a partner during conversations. In Study 1, individuals with a secure attachment style were higher on all three intimacy characteristics In Study 2, a lab‐based assessment of intimacy revealed some relations between attachment and intimacy, providing mixed support for the hypothesis. Both studies found gender differences in intimacy characteristics The findings provide a starting point for a model accounting for individual differences in friendship.     

Subjective Social Standing and Conflict Tactics Among Young Kenyan Men

Efforts to reduce intimate partner violence in sub‐Saharan Africa generally approach the issue through the lens of women's empowerment. These efforts include foci on women's relative power in the relationship, educational background, and earning potential. The social status of men has largely been ignored, reducing the potential to involve them in efforts to demote intimate partner violence. In this study we consider whether a man's perceived social status predicts conflict tactics, and whether these tactics are mediated by loneliness and collective self‐esteem from a community‐based sample in semi‐rural Kenya (n = 263). We find that men who reported lower perceived social status also reported significantly more frequent violent conflicts with their intimate partners. This association was significantly, and completely, mediated by lower collective self‐esteem and higher loneliness. There was no direct association between subjective social status and negotiation‐based conflict tactics, although there was an indirect association. Men with higher perceived social status reported higher collective self‐esteem, and men with higher collective self‐esteem reported more negotiation‐based conflict tactics. These findings inform efforts to reduce intimate partner violence by involving men, showing potential to reduce violence by building self‐esteem among men—particularly those with lower perceived social status.     

Intimate partner abuse of educated,employed black South African women: sociocultural factors

This study aimed to explore the influence of African culture and tradition on the abuse experiences of Black South African women who are educated and employed. Interviews were conducted with seven Black South African women (age range 38 to 47) who are college educated and employed. All participants were married for seven or more years and self-reporting to be in an abusive relationship. Interviews were transcribed verbatim and analysed using thematic content analysis. The results indicate sociocultural factors such as patriarchal values within their culture as an underlying reason for their husbands’ abusive behaviour. Abuse seemed likely when the women perceived gender roles that were in conflict with their husband's gender role expectations of them. The cultural expectation that women should not leave a marriage appeared to play an implicit role in their staying in an abusive relationship.     

Children's appraisals of sex-typed behavior in their peers

Four experiments evaluated the effect of variations in sex-typed behavior in hypothetical peers on children's ratings of friendship. In all four studies, the children were heterogeneous with regard to social class, ethnicity, and race. In Experiment 1, children (71 boys, 90 girls) in Grades 3–6 read five stories about a target boy and in Experiment 2 (102 boys, 137 girls) about a target girl who displayed four sex-typed behaviors that ranged from exclusively masculine to exclusively feminine. In Experiment 1, boys preferred the exclusively masculine boy most as a friend. With each addition of a feminine behavior (and corresponding subtraction of a masculine behavior), the friendship ratings became increasingly negative. In contrast, the girls preferred the exclusively feminine boy most as a friend and, with each addition of a masculine behavior, the friendship ratings became increasingly negative. In Experiment 2, the converse was found although girls' ratings of friendship were less sharply affected by the target girl's sex-typed behavior than was observed for boys' ratings in Experiment 1. In Experiment 3, children (33 boys, 38 girls) in Grades K—2 were read three stories about a target boy, accompanied by detailed chromatic illustrations, whose four sex-typed behaviors were exclusively masculine, equally masculine and feminine, or exclusively feminine. The boys had significantly more favorable friendship ratings than the girls; however, in contrast to Experiments 1 and 2, the target boy's sex-typed behavior did not affect friendship ratings of either boys or girls. Experiment 4 (28 boys, 27 girls) repeated the procedure of Experiment 3 with children in kindergarten and Grade 1; in addition, the children made forced-choice friendship ratings for each of the three possible story pairs. In contrast to Experiment 3, boys' friendship ratings were affected by the target boy's sex-typed behavior, as observed in Experiment 1, but girls' friendship ratings were not. However, in the forced-choice situation, the boys significantly preferred the exclusively masculine boy whereas the girls significantly preferred the exclusively feminine boy. The results were discussed in relation to the influence sex-typed behavior has on modifying the effects of a peer's sex on affiliative preference and sex differences in appraisals of cross-gender behavior, including the concept of threshold effects.     

Anxious cognitions in children: An exploration of associations and mediators

To investigate sources of influences connecting mothers' and their children's anxious cognitions, 65 children (aged 10 to 11 years) completed self‐report measures of anxiety. Children and mothers responded to an ambiguous scenario questionnaire and measures of parenting style and life events. Mothers also reported expectations about their child's reaction to ambiguous situations. Mothers' and children's threat cognitions were significantly correlated (r = .31), and partially mediated by mothers' expectations about their child. Mothers' anticipated distress was associated with expectations for their child's distress, which was associated with the child's own anticipated distress. Parenting and life events were significantly associated with children's interpretative bias, but did not mediate the intergenerational association in interpretative bias. The results suggest influences on children's ‘anxious cognitive style’ and potential targets for preventing and reducing maladaptive cognitions in children.     

Intergroup contact,friendship quality and political attitudes in integrated and segregated schools in Northern Ireland

Background This study examines the effects of integrated and segregated schooling on Northern Irish children's self‐reported contact and friendship with members of the other denominational group in school and community settings. Aim To assess the effects of cross group friendships and cross group contacts in school and outside school on children's political attitudes. Sample A cross‐sectional design was employed with 1732 children being assessed at three age levels 11,12 & 14 years in eight‐matched integrated, maintained (Catholic) and controlled (Protestant) schools. Method Lisrel modelling was used to investigate the interrelationships among cross group friendship quality, cross group contacts in school and outside school and children's political attitudes. Results Intergroup contact within and outside school was reported frequently in integrated schools but only occasionally in segregated schools. Modelling revealed that cross group contacts in school and outside school were both associated with less extreme political attitudes. Friendship quality with cross group members had no significant effects on political attitudes. Conclusions The results provide support for educating Protestants and Catholics together as a means of moderating attitudes and creating cross‐community friendships in a divided society.     

Shifting expectations of partners' responsiveness changes outcomes of conflict discussions

Expecting responsiveness from a partner may increase the chance of successful conflict resolution through a self‐fulfilling prophecy. Such expectations derive in part from people's history of receiving responsiveness and from their belief that their partner values them (S. L. Murray, J. G. Holmes, & N. L. Collins, 2006). This belief can be fostered by having individuals reframe a partner's compliment in an abstract way (D. C. Marigold, J. G. Holmes, & M. Ross, 2007). In this study, 96 dating couples were randomly assigned to complete a compliment reframing intervention (or not) prior to discussing a conflict. Without intervention, couples who typically had a lot of conflict reported less positive expectations of their partner for the upcoming discussion and subsequently worse outcomes than low‐conflict couples; these differences were eliminated in the compliment reframing condition. This research demonstrates the importance of perceived value and expectations of responsiveness in shaping the outcomes of conflict discussions, suggesting additional points of intervention beyond communication skills for high‐conflict couples.     

Power of being present: the role of mindfulness on the relation between men's alcohol use and sexual aggression toward intimate partners

The primary aim of this investigation was to examine the association between men's level of mindfulness and histories of alcohol consumption and sexual aggression toward intimate partners. Participants were 167 heterosexual drinking males who completed self‐report measures of mindfulness, frequency and quantity of alcohol consumption during the past 12 months and sexual aggression against intimate partners during the past 12 months. Results indicated that a history of consuming larger amounts when drinking was associated with more frequent sexual coercion/aggression among men who reported low, but not high, levels of mindfulness. However, drinking more frequently by itself was not associated with more frequent sexual coercion/aggression. These results support the attention‐allocation model and suggest implications for future intervention research aimed at reducing alcohol‐related aggression. Aggr. Behav. 36:405–413, 2010. © 2010 Wiley‐Liss, Inc.     

Ratings of physical attractiveness within young,romantically engaged couples in Malaysia

This study examined the matching hypothesis, the positive illusions effect and the love is blind bias in young, romantically engaged couples in Malaysia. Each member of 58 young, romantically engaged heterosexual couples completed the Body Esteem Scale and items assessing physical attractiveness in relation to themselves and their partner. In support of the matching hypothesis, partners' perceptions of their own and their partner's facial and bodily attractiveness were significantly correlated. The positive illusions effect and the love is blind bias were also evident, with participants' ratings of partners being greater than both their own self‐ratings and their partner's self‐ratings of physical attractiveness. Although our findings suggest that these phenomena related to perceptions of physical attractiveness are evident across cultures, further studies are required.