Clinical Guidelines for Working With Stepfamilies: What Family,Couple, Individual,and Child Therapists Need to Know

This article draws on four decades of research and clinical practice to delineate guidelines for evidence‐informed, clinically sound work with stepfamilies for couple, family, individual adult, and child therapists. Few clinicians receive adequate training in working with the intense and often complex dynamics created by stepfamily structure and history. This is despite the fact that stepfamilies are a fundamentally different family form that occurs world‐wide. As a result many clinicians rely on their training in first‐time family models. This is not only often unhelpful, but all too often inadvertently destructive. The article integrates a large body of increasingly sophisticated research about stepfamilies with the author's four decades of clinical practice with stepfamily relationships. It describes the ways in which stepfamilies are different from first‐time families. It delineates the dynamics of five major challenges stepfamily structure creates: (1) Insider/outsider positions are intense and they are fixed. (2) Children struggle with losses, loyalty binds, and change. (3) Issues of parenting, stepparenting, and discipline often divide the couple. (4) Stepcouples must build a new family culture while navigating previously established family cultures. (5) Ex‐spouses (other parents outside the household) are part of the family. Some available data are shared on the impact of cultural and legal differences on these challenges. A three‐level model of clinical intervention is presented: Psychoeducational, Interpersonal, and Intrapsychic/Intergenerational Family‐of‐Origin. The article describes some “easy wrong turns” for well‐meaning therapists and lists some general clinical guidelines for working with stepfamily relationships.     

Recoupling in Mid‐Life and Beyond: From Love at Last to Not So Fast

Divorce rates have dropped in the United States, except for couples over 50 where they are rising steeply, along with rates of late‐life recoupling. Both stepcouples and their young adult and adult children in new older stepfamilies are often surprised to find themselves facing many of the same challenges that younger stepfamilies do. Some challenges are even intensified by the decades‐long relationships and additional layers of extended family that come with recoupling after mid‐life. Stepfamilies formed in later life must also negotiate decisions about estate planning and elder care among stakeholders who often have sharply divergent agendas before there is time to establish trusting relationships. This article describes the “normal” challenges facing stepcouples who come together over age 50. It provides evidence‐informed guidance for therapists in meeting these challenges on three levels of clinical work: Psychoeducational, Interpersonal, and Intrapsychic/Intergenerational. As in younger stepfamilies, “family therapy” must usually begin in subsystems—often the adult stepcouple and parent–adult child. The article then describes a particularly fraught subgroup of recouplers: over‐50 fathers and their new partners, where the dad's young adult or adult daughter is very unhappy with his new relationship. In these latter stepfamilies, father–daughter repair must precede stepfamily bonding. Stepfamilies that are preceded by a partner's death and those that begin with affairs are also discussed. Finally, some “easy wrong turns” for therapists are described.     

Couple communication in stepfamilies

Effective communication is assumed to help sustain couple relationships and is a key focus of most relationship education programs. We assessed couple problem-solving communication in 65 stepfamily and 52 first-time-marrying couples, with each group stratified into high risk and low risk for relationship problems based on family-of-origin experiences. Relative to partners in first-time couples, partners in stepfamily couples were less positive, less negative, and more likely to withdraw from discussion. Risk was associated with communication in first-time but not stepfamily couples. Stepfamily couples do not exhibit the negative communication evident in high-risk first-time-marrying couples, and available relationship education programs that focus on reducing negative communication are unlikely to meet the needs of stepfamilies.     

Stepfamilies Doing Family: A Meta‐Ethnography

The present review examines how stepfamily members without a shared history co‐construct a shared family identity and what family processes are relevant in this stepfamily formation. Three databases (Web of Science, PsycInfo, and ProQuest) were systematically searched, resulting in 20 included qualitative studies. The meta‐ethnography approach of Noblit and Hare allowed synthesizing these qualitative studies and constructing a comprehensive framework of stepfamilies doing family. Three interdependent family tasks were identified: (a) honoring the past, (b) marking the present, and (c) investing in the future. Stepfamily members’ experiences of these family tasks are strongly affected by the dominant societal perspectives and characterized by an underlying dialectical tension between wanting to be like a first‐time family and feeling the differences in their family structure at the same time. These findings clearly demonstrate the family work that all stepfamily members undertake and provide a broader context for interpreting stepfamilies’ co‐construction of a new family identity.     

When you're not the Brady Bunch: Identifying perceived conflicts and resolution strategies in stepfamilies

This study was a qualitative analysis of interviews from 58 members of 17 stepfamilies regarding the sources of conflict and conflict resolution strategies. The majority of conflicts resulted from negotiation of family boundaries and were manifested in the following ways: (a) disagreements over resources; (b) loyalty conflicts; (c) individuals holding a “guard and protect” ideology; and (d) conflict with extended family members Wide arrays of resolution strategies were used, and some, but not all, resulted in positive outcomes.     

Studying Stepfamilies: Four Eras of Family Scholarship

Historically, there have always been stepfamilies, but until the early 1970s, they remained largely unnoticed by social scientists. Research interest in stepfamilies followed shortly after divorce became the primary precursor to stepfamily formation. Because stepfamilies are structurally diverse and much more complex than nuclear families, they have created considerable challenges for both researchers and clinicians. This article examines four eras of stepfamily scholarship, tracing the development of research questions, study designs and methods, and conceptual frameworks from the mid‐1970s to the present and drawing implications for the current state of the field.     

Perceived mattering in stepfamilies: A social relations model analysis

The current study examined the respective role of stepfamily members' individual characteristics and their dyadic relationships in stepfamily members' perceptions of mattering to one another. Parents, stepparents, and adolescents from 86 stepfamilies participated. Applying social relations model analyses, several trends emerged regarding the relative importance of individual and dyadic factors. Parents' and adolescents' reports of mattering to one another were mainly driven by individual factors, whereas relational factors were important to understand the reports of mattering in which the stepparent was one of the dyad members. These findings contribute to stepfamily research by highlighting that stepfamily members' sense of belonging is at least partly a function of the interpersonal adaptation between the stepparent and other family members.     

Major areas of difficulty for stepparent couples

Abstract

It has been reported that, by 1975, there were 25 million adults in America who were stepfathers and stepmothers (Roosevelt & Lofas, 1976), with a million more adults becoming stepparents each year. Thus the “stepfamily,” or “blended,” “remarried” or “reconstituted” family has become an important entity in American society.     

Stepparents’ Attachment Orientation,Parental Gatekeeping,and Stepparents’ Affinity-Seeking with Stepchildren

Remarried stepfamilies are a sizable portion of American families; in a 2011 Pew Center survey, 42% of respondents reported at least one stepfamily member. Family clinicians and researchers suggest that stepparents’ ability to develop close bonds with stepchildren may be critical to the well-being of couple and family relationships. Using actor-partner interdependence models to analyze dyadic data from 291 heterosexual remarried stepfamily couples, we explored factors related to stepparents’ efforts to befriend their stepchildren. Specifically, we evaluated how remarried parents’ gatekeeping and stepparents’ perceptions of their attachment orientations were associated with their own and their spouse's perceptions of stepparents’ affinity-seeking behaviors. Securely attached stepparents and stepparents with anxious attachment orientations engaged more frequently in affinity behaviors than did stepparents with avoidant attachment orientations; there was no difference between securely attached and anxious stepparents. Stepparents’ reports of parents’ restrictive gatekeeping were strongly and negatively associated with both stepparents’ and parents’ reports of stepparent affinity-seeking (actor and partner effects). Parents’ reports of their own restrictive gatekeeping were also negatively (but more weakly) associated with parents’ reports of stepparent affinity-seeking. Implications for families, clinicians, and relationship researchers and theorists are discussed.     

Uncertainty and the Avoidance of the State of One's Family in Stepfamilies,Postdivorce Single‐Parent Families,and First‐Marriage Families

The current study tested the applicability of uncertainty management theory (URT; Berger & Calabrese, 1975) to information‐regulation efforts in families with comparatively different uncertainty levels. Differences in uncertainty and avoidance for parents within the various family types are also discussed. In general, the findings lend further support for URT (e.g., Brashers, 2001) which suggests that in certain situations, such as that of postdivorce family life, individuals may prefer to maintain their uncertainty through avoidance. Contrary to what URT suggests, the association between uncertainty about one's family relationships and the avoidance of the state of one's family was positive and linear for adolescents and young adults in stepfamilies and postdivorce, single‐parent families. For first‐marriage families, however, this association was curvilinear in nature. Unexpectedly, closeness with one's parents or stepparents did not moderate this association for any of the family types. Nevertheless, satisfaction with one's parents was a moderator for children in first‐marriage families. The degree of uncertainty in stepfamilies was also a function of the length of time in the stepfamily, but avoidance was not.     

Beyond Cinderella: relevant reading for young adolescents about stepfamilies

With the number of stepchildren increasing, it is important that books about stepchildren and stepfamilies be available in schools and other settings. Juvenile fiction is a good medium for exposing children to the complexities of stepfamily living, for reducing stereotypes, and for providing role models. This article examines and reviews adolescent fiction with step themes. By providing titles of recommended stepfamily literature, the teacher or helping professional can facilitate an adolescent's adjustment to stepfamily life and not leave him feeling that being in a stepfamily means living like either Cinderella or the Brady Bunch. A list of recommended books is included.     

An Empirical Investigation of Interaction and Relationship Patterns in Functional and Dysfunctional Nuclear Families and Stepfamilies

This study identifies key variables that distinguish nuclear families from stepfamilies, and functional from dysfunctional stepfamilies. Sixty-three family triads (mother, father, child) were studied using five instruments: Family Concept Test, Locke-Wallace Marital Inventory, Family Relations Test, Family Interaction Task, and background questionnaire. Results indicated that functional stepfamilies are similar to functional nuclear families in that both exhibit good marital adjustment, strong, positive bonds between biological parent and child, disinclination to exclude family members, and ability to make mutually compromised family decisions. The key differences were less intense interpersonal involvement between the stepfather and child and a stronger tendency toward the existence of parent-child coalitions in stepfamilies. Similarities between dysfunctional stepfamilies and dysfunctional nuclear families include stronger parent-child coalitions compared to their functional counterparts and lack of mutual decision-making skills that fulfill the choices of individual members. Unexpectedly, marital adjustment was better in dysfunctional stepfamilies than in dysfunctional nuclear families. Relationship patterns were similar in functional stepfamilies and in dysfunctional stepfamilies except that they were more extreme in the dysfunctional stepfamilies. Results are discussed in terms of theoretical implications for understanding stepfamilies, and clinical implications in terms of how dysfunctional stepfamilies might best be treated.     

A multiple-risk interaction model: Effects of temperament and divorce on psychiatric disorders in children

Effects of family status on the trajectory of problematic temperament-adjustment at 1 to 10 years of age and associated psychiatric disturbance 8 years later were examined in an epidemiological sample of 648 children. After adjusting for predivorce temperament-adjustment and background factors, logistic regression yielded independent effects of single custodial mother (SCM) family status for increased risk of disruptive and anxiety disorders, and of stepfamily status for increased risk of disruptive disorders. Increased risk of psychiatric disorders was more pervasive for SCM family boys versus intact family boys than for SCM family girls versus intact family girls, however only significantly more so for depression. No significant sex interaction was observed for stepfamily status. When girls and boys were treated independently, patterns of family status and outcomes of internalizing disorders varied. In stepfamilies, an elevated risk of depression and anxiety disorders was observed in girls but not boys, whereas in SCM families an elevated risk of depression was observed in boys but not girls. Within each family status group there was support for an altered risk of later psychiatric disorders given specific problematic predivorce temperament-adjustment characteristics. Implications for future research and treatment are discussed.The research described was supported by grants from the National Institute of Mental Health and by the W. T. Grant Foundation.     

Effects of family interaction on the child's behavior in single-parent or reconstructed families

The effects of the family interaction on children's behavior were studied in single-parent or reconstructed families (N = 63) in a white population in Finland. The focus was on the spousal and the parent-child interaction. Teachers assessed children's behavior and parents were interviewed. The interviews were analyzed qualitatively using the grounded-theory method. The boundary ambiguity theory developed by Pauline Boss was used to examine the interaction in the families. About two fifths of the parents reported that their spousal interaction was good, family boundaries were clear, and the children were taken care of together. Another two fifths interacted only because of the child and family boundaries were ambiguous. In 14 families the involvement of the noncustodial parent was both physically and psychologically low. The physically close but psychologically distant parent-child interaction seemed to affect the child's behavior detrimentally, whereas children with physically and psychologically close interaction with their parents showed less behavioral problems. The children with behavioral problems were more likely to have problems with both parents. They were also more likely to have a stepparent with whom they had conflicts. In conclusion, a good interaction between the parents and clarified family boundaries protect children's mental health after their parents' divorce or separation.     

Marital Expectations in Strong African American Marriages

The current exploratory study utilized a family strengths framework to identify marital expectations in 39 strong African American heterosexual marriages. Couples reflected on their marital expectations over their 10 or more years of marriage. Three themes emerged through qualitative analysis and the participants' own words were used in the presentation of the themes. African Americans indicated that there was growth in marital expectations over time, with marital expectations often beginning with unrealistic expectations that grew into more realistic expectations as their marriages progressed. Participants also indicated that core expectations in strong African American marriages included open communication, congruent values, and positive treatment of spouse. Finally, participants explained there is an “I” in marriage as they discussed the importance of autonomy within their marital relationships. Results are discussed in association with existing research and theory.     

Stepfamily Relationship Quality and Children's Internalizing and Externalizing Problems

The stepfamily literature is replete with between‐group analyses by which youth residing in stepfamilies are compared to youth in other family structures across indicators of adjustment and well‐being. Few longitudinal studies examine variation in stepfamily functioning to identify factors that promote the positive adjustment of stepchildren over time. Using a longitudinal sample of 191 stepchildren (56% female, mean age = 11.3 years), the current study examines the association between the relationship quality of three central stepfamily dyads (stepparent–child, parent–child, and stepcouple) and children's internalizing and externalizing problems concurrently and over time. Results from path analyses indicate that higher levels of parent–child affective quality are associated with lower levels of children's concurrent internalizing and externalizing problems at Wave 1. Higher levels of stepparent–child affective quality are associated with decreases in children's internalizing and externalizing problems at Wave 2 (6 months beyond baseline), even after controlling for children's internalizing and externalizing problems at Wave 1 and other covariates. The stepcouple relationship was not directly linked to youth outcomes. Our findings provide implications for future research and practice.     

Soft Meaning and Sincerity in the Family System

The concept of “sincerity” is often dismissed as being irrelevant to the understanding of families as systems, since sincerity is seen as a linear, intrapsychic construct. This paper makes the opposite argument. Much family communication involves a particular kind of “soft” meanings. Such meanings are flexible and open to varied interpretation, but their use is nevertheless framed by social rules. Sincerity rules function as social agreements to refrain from manipulating “soft” meaning in particular ways. The expectation that family members are (or are not) likely to communicate sincerely is a crucial systems property, altering both the interpersonal strategies and relationship structures that are likely to emerge within families. The analysis of soft meaning developed in this paper suggests new ways of understanding the rich, tangled, sometimes paradoxical communication typical of families. However, a number of premises frequently associated with family systems theory must be abandoned before a clear analysis of family communication can proceed.     

Cultural Dimensions,Gender, and the Nature of Self-concept: A Fourteen-country Study

Ratings of the importance of and satisfaction with 20 areas of the self were obtained from 3604 first or second year social science undergraduates from 14 countries (15 cultures). Factor analysis at the culture by gender level supported four factors for both sets of ratings. The resulting factor scores were analyzed for mean differences according to the cultural dimension of Individualism-Collectivism by Gender and by correlations with other cultural dimenions and economic indicators. It was found that participants from the 10 collectivist cultures placed greater salience for their self-concepts on “family values” than did those from the individualist cultures. However, this cultural difference was not found for “social relationships”. The expected gender differences, with females valuing “family values” and “social relationships” more highly, were found only for the individualist countries. The findings indicate that there may be a strong cultural level interaction effect between gender and Individualism-Collectivism on the nature of self-conceptions, and that the “family” and “social” aspects of self-concept in collectivist countries need to be considered separately.     

The Constructive Use of Power and the Philosophy of the Self in the Training of Family Therapists

Abstract

This article presents findings from an exploratory qualitative study, which used individual interviews and a focus group to investigate how women in Black-White interracial heterosexual partner relationships retrospectively described their racial identity development and the influence of gender identity development on this process. Social consrructionist, feminist, and racial identity development theories guided the grounded theory methodology. Participants described both constraining and empowering racial identities. Salient constraining racial identities were being a “sell-out” or “traitor,” being a “rule-breaker,” having a masked reference group orientation, needing to prove reference group orientation, and having minority family status. Empowering racial identities included refusing to take sides, being “not racial,” being neutral, identifying by respect rather than by race, having a multiple reference group orientation, being strong, and being an educator and mediator.

Gender identity themes of strength and resiliency emerged as significant influences in racial identity development. Suggested questions for use within a narrative therapy context provide a clinical application of findings from the study.     

Être mère dans la famille recomposée : défis de la conciliation des rôles de belle-mère et de mère biologique

This study examines issues related to occupying both the role of stepmother and biological mother in a stepfamily. A sample of twelve participants was interviewed. The central theme of the interviews concerned the psychological state of the women as they tried to reconcile their biological maternity with their role as a stepmother. A qualitative analysis of the interviews enabled us to propose three themes emerging from their experience: a) a comparison of their different parental roles in the stepfamily; b) the issues related to managing stepfamily dynamics; c) the challenges linked to the development of a family identity.