Family and couples therapy with gay and lesbian clients: acknowledging the forgotten minority

Family and couples therapy in the main concentrates on heterosexual clients, and has thus been described as limited in its outlook, or discriminatory. It is argued that family and couples therapy is at present not offered to gay and lesbian clients because of an absence of appropriate referrals, the inability of therapists to recognize the sexual orientation of their clients, a belief that skills held by therapists are not appropriate for this client group, or because of the homophobia of the therapist. It is suggested that family and couples therapy should be more readily available for gay and lesbian clients, and a number of different issues which these families might face are discussed. This includes problems associated with the gay adolescent and the gay or lesbian parent, as well as the gay or lesbian couple. It is concluded that established forms of intervention are effective with gay clients, provided that the specific needs and problems of the gay and lesbian community are addressed by the therapist.     

How Lesbian and Heterosexual Parents Convey Attitudes about Gender to their Children: The Role of Gendered Environments

We studied associations among parents’ gender role attitudes, gender stereotyping in children’s environments, and children’s gender role attitudes and whether these associations were similar for families with lesbian and heterosexual parents. Fifty-seven 4- to 6-year-olds and 114 parents from the US participated. Parents completed self-report questionnaires and responded to interview questions. Researchers collected data regarding the child’s environment and attitudes about gender. Results revealed that children with lesbian mothers had less stereotyped environments and less traditional attitudes. Parental attitudes were associated with stereotyping in children’s environments and with children’s attitudes about gender. Both for lesbian and heterosexual parents, the impact of parents’ attitudes on children’s attitudes was partially mediated by the nature of children’s environments.     

Individual Differences in Gender Development: Associations with Parental Sexual Orientation, Attitudes, and Division of Labor

Research on children of lesbian parents has suggested that such children are developing well, but questions have been raised about their gender development. In this study, we explored associations among parental sexual orientation, parental gender-related attitudes, parental division of labor, and children’s gender development. Participants were 66 preschool children and their 132 parents from the East Coast of the United States. Thirty-three families were headed by lesbian and 33 by heterosexual couples. Parents who divided paid and unpaid labor more unequally had children whose occupational aspirations were also more traditional. Measures of children’s gender development were generally unrelated to parental sexual orientation. Parents’ attitudes and behaviors were more strongly associated with children’s gender development than was parental sexual orientation.     

Experiencing gay affirmative therapy: An exploration of clients' views of what is helpful

Gay affirmative therapy is a counselling approach that emphasises an affirming, non‐pathologising approach to therapeutic work with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients. In this study, lesbian and gay clients who had experienced counselling that they defined as affirming identified what they perceived to have been helpful. Questionnaires and interviews were used to collect the views of a sample of lesbian, gay and bisexual informants. The material gathered was analysed using a grounded theory approach, which generated six main categories: communicating a non‐pathologising perspective on homosexuality; the counselling relationship; the counselling space; what the counsellor brought to the relationship; humanity; and the counsellor adopting a holistic approach. Some of these identified affirming elements are unique to gay affirmative therapy and cannot be attributed to other factors. The possible significance of the findings for practitioners is discussed.     

Coming Out, Visibility, and Creating Change: Empowering Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual People in a Rural University Community

Personal and professional challenges faced in encouraging the development of a gay community in a rural university setting are described. Community psychologists who are lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) must assess their willingness to be open and the roles they can play in developing helping resources. These issues concern how to encourage the empowerment of others while maintaining a collaborative role in a situation of major personal investment. Two specific challenges–developing informal helping resources for local LGB people and fostering institutional and policy changes to make the university a safer place for LGB faculty, staff, and students–are described. Community psychologists must consider personal risk when they become involved in empowerment efforts with this population.A white male community psychologist and a licensed clinical psychologist, I have been on the faculty of the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at Pennsylvania State University since 1972. I served as Faculty Adviser to the Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Student Alliance at the University for ten years, and worked extensively with lesbian, gay, and bisexual people in the local town, State College, PA, to develop community resources since the mid 1980’s. I had been granted tenure before the events described in this paper occurred.     

Gaydar: Eye-gaze as identity recognition among gay men and lesbians

This paper examines eye-gaze associated with identity recognition among gay men and lesbians. Eye-gaze is argued to be crucial to forces that either trigger or reinforce one gay person’s perception of another person’s gay identity during social encounters. “Gaydar” is the folk concept used within the gay and lesbian culture to name this identity recognition device. An ethnography on Gaydar conducted over a period of three years reveals that eye-gaze in relation to Gaydar includes two different variations of visual contact, the direct and the broken stare. These types of gaze can be accentuated by the presence of other forms of nonverbal communication such as posture, gestures, and smiles. Consciousness in relation to eye-gaze is also discussed to be a distinct trigger and reinforcer of gay and lesbian identity recognition.     

Survey of School Psychologists' Attitudes,Feelings, and Exposure to Gay and Lesbian Parents and Their Children

Abstract

School psychologists' attitudes and feelings toward gay and lesbian parents were surveyed in relation to their training and exposure, and professional services offered to gay and lesbian parents and their children. The relationship between attitudes, feelings, training, exposure, and demographic characteristics was explored as well. A stratified random sample of 500 school psychologists who were members of NASP was surveyed using a 30-item questionnaire. Out of the 500 surveys sent, 267 school psychologists (53.4%) returned them. Overall, school psychologists have positive attitudes and feelings toward gay and/or lesbian parents. More specifically, school psychologists who were female, homosexual/bisexual, or living in the Western region of the United States had significantly more positive attitudes and feelings toward gay and/or lesbian parents. Although few school psychologists (30%) received any formalized training, those who had some training indicated more positive attitudes. The majority of school psychologists (89.4%) reported having personal associations with homosexual individuals. More exposure to homosexual individuals by a school psychologist indicated more positive attitudes as well as feelings. Implications of the findings and future research directions are discussed.     

Lesbians, gay men, and their parents: family therapy for the coming-out crisis

It is considered psychologically healthy for lesbians and gay men to come out and live outside of the closet. However, parents tend to react with shock, disappointment, and shame when they learn of a son's or daughter's gay sexual orientation. Disclosure often precipitates a painful family crisis, which can lead to cutoffs between members. This article describes family therapy theories and interventions that can aid therapists in sheparding families through the initial stages of the coming-out crisis. Family therapists are advised to acknowledge and address the distinct emotional needs of coming-out individuals and their parents. Parents must grieve and obtain accurate information about gay lifestyles. Lesbians and gay men need support as they struggle to cope with their parents' negative reactions. Family members should be coached to maintain non-combative communication following the disclosure, even if contacts are initially brief and superficial. Case examples, drawn from the author's clinical work, will demonstrate how to address the separate needs of lesbians, gay men, and their parents while maintaining (or rebuilding) family relationships and ultimately guiding families toward successful resolution of this crisis.     

Same-sex parent families in Italy: Validation of the Coparenting Scale-Revised for lesbian mothers and gay fathers

Even though Italy is still struggling to establish equal rights and access to assisted reproduction techniques for sexual minorities, an increasing number of lesbian women and gay men are now becoming parents. There are only a few studies that have evaluated coparenting in same-sex couples. However, these addressed adoptive couples and not the lesbian and gay parent families through donor insemination or surrogacy, respectively. This study examined the psychometric properties of the Coparenting Scale-Revised and its relationship with dyadic adjustment, discipline management, and internalized sexual stigma in Italian same-sex-planned families. The factor structure showed a satisfactory internal consistency and criterion validity with correlates of coparenting behaviours. While Family Integrity factor was confirmed, Disparagement and Reprimand dimensions collapsed into Conflict factor. Non-genetic parents showed lower levels of conflict than genetic parents. Most importantly, coparenting emerged as a significant function not shaped by gender, but influenced by parental status and internalized sexual stigma.     

Family Communication about Donor Conception: A Qualitative Study with Lesbian Parents

In this qualitative study of 10 lesbian couples who built their families through anonymous donor conception, we explore how lesbian parents experience communication about the donor conception within the family. While for these families “disclosure” of donor conception is often seen as evident, the way parents and children discuss this subject and how this is experienced by the parents themselves has not received much research attention. To meet this gap in the literature, in‐depth interviews with lesbian couples were conducted. An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis showed that this family communication process can be understood within the broader relational context of parent–child relationships. Even though parents handled this family communication in many different ways, these were all inspired by the same motives: acting in the child's best interest and—on a more implicit level—maintaining good relations within the family. Furthermore, parents left the initiative for talking about the DC mostly to the child. Overall, parents aimed at constructing a donor conception narrative that they considered acceptable for both the children and themselves. They used different strategies, such as gradual disclosure, limiting the meaning of the donor, and justifying the donor conception. Building an acceptable donor conception narrative was sometimes challenged by influences from the social environment. In the discussion, we relate this qualitative systemic study to the broader issues of selective disclosure and bidirectionality within families.     

Is it Really Just About Being More Like a Fag? Confronting the Gay Male Model Mantra

Although the debate between feminism and queer is by now a fairly old and some might argue, trite and overwrought one, in this paper I direct my attention to a specific feminist assessment of queer that I find to be especially unhelpful and pernicious: the automatic linkage of queer with the exaltation of a gay male subjectivity. This article is informed by my own ethnographic research on lesbian/queer public sexual cultures; specifically, two Canadian lesbian/queer bathhouses, where public sex and sexual exploration are encouraged. I argue that this contention, that lesbians who espouse queer are aping (gay) male sexuality and subjectivity—due to the privileging of non-normative sexual practices found within the gay male community—does two things: (re)essentializes genders and sexualities, and, more importantly, robs non-gay male subjects (e.g., women, lesbians, butches, trans identified individuals) of their own agency. In sum, I believe that this linkage to a supposed gay male imitation, and concomitantly, viewing lesbian/queer sexual cultures, behaviors, configurations, and signifying sexual economies as mere derivatives of gay male culture, reinforces lesbian/queer invisibility and (re)centers the heterosexual matrix. For the sake of lesbian/queer subjects’ own viability, lesbian/queer sexualities must thus be pulled out of this discursive trap.     

Challenges of Being Simultaneously Gay or Lesbian and Spiritual and/or Religious: A Narrative Perspective

The purpose of this article is to describe the struggle that gays and lesbians face as they incorporate their sexual orientation and identity within the context of an existing religious or spiritual identity. An overview of the religious and spiritual context that makes individuals unique will be followed by how the narrative perspective can help individuals who identify themselves as gay or lesbian with their struggle for identity. Finally, new narrative directions will be suggested for marriage and family therapists and their work with gays and lesbians who are confronted with these issues.     

Donor,Dad, or…? Young Adults with Lesbian Parents’ Experiences with Known Donors

In this exploratory qualitative study of 11 young adults, ages 19–29 years, we examine how young people who were raised by lesbian parents make meaning out of and construct their relationships with known donors. In‐depth interviews were conducted to examine how participants defined their family composition, how they perceived the role of their donors in their lives, and how they negotiated their relationships with their donors. Findings indicate that mothers typically chose known donors who were family friends, that the majority of participants always knew who their donors were, and that their contact with donors ranged from minimal to involved. Further, participants perceived their donors in one of three ways: as strictly donors and not members of their family; as extended family members but not as parents; and as fathers. The more limited role of donors in participants' construction of family relationships sheds light on how children raised in lesbian, gay, and bisexual families are contributing to the redefinition and reconstruction of complex kinship arrangements. Our findings hold implications for clinicians who work with lesbian‐mother families, and suggest that young adulthood is an important developmental phase during which interest in and contact with the donor may shift, warranting a transfer of responsibility from mother to offspring in terms of managing the donor‐child relationship.     

Information-Seeking Practices during the Sexual Development of Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Individuals: The Influence and Effects of Coming Out in a Mediated Environment

Constructing a sexual identity is one of the major developmental tasks of adolescence. Applying the Media Practice Model, this study retrospectively examines how self-identifying lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) individuals used media during the commencement of the coming-out process and the effects of media use during this pivotal time of development. Results indicate that the Internet plays a critical role in the development of LGB sexual identities. Heavy users of media during the coming-out process are significantly less likely to communicate openly with their families later in life. However, individuals’ reports of loneliness and self-esteem are not affected. Conclusions suggest that mediated forms of communication can be beneficial for sexual exploration among LGB individuals.     

Gender-Typed Play Behavior in Early Childhood: Adopted Children with Lesbian, Gay, and Heterosexual Parents

This study examined whether the gender-typed play of young children varies as a function of family structure. Using a sample of 126 couples (44 lesbian couples, 34 gay male couples, and 48 heterosexual couples) located throughout the United States, with an adopted child between the age of 2 and 4?years old (mean?=?2.5?years), we examined parent reports of children’s gender-typed play behavior utilizing the Pre-School Activities Inventory (PSAI; Golombok and Rust 1993). Findings revealed that the perceived play behaviors of boys and girls in same-gender parent families were more similar (i.e., less gender-stereotyped) than the perceived play behavior of boys and girls in heterosexual-parent families (which were more divergent; that is, gender-stereotyped). Sons of lesbian mothers were less masculine in their play behavior than sons of gay fathers and sons of heterosexual parents. Our findings have implications for researchers who study gender development in children and adolescents.     

System Justification, Right-Wing Conservatism, and Internalized Homophobia: Gay and Lesbian Attitudes toward Same-Sex Parenting in Italy

Adopting a system justification perspective (Jost and Banaji 1994), we investigated the manner and extent to which gay men and lesbians might internalize a sense of inferiority when it comes to parenthood. In an Italian sample of gay and lesbian individuals, we found that gay men who scored high (versus low) on system justification and right-wing conservatism regarded same sex parents as less competent; these effects were mediated by internalized homophobia. Lesbian women, however, perceived lesbian parents as more competent than opposite sex parents, regardless of ideological orientations. For gay men the internalization of societal discrimination harms perceptions of parental competence, whereas for lesbians gender stereotypes about parenting trump the negative effects of bias related to sexual orientation. These findings suggest that men??s and women??s perceptions of their own bodies and capacities are strongly affected by sociocultural processes, including ideological processes.     

The components of sexual orientation, religiosity, and heterosexuals' impressions of gay men and lesbians

In 2 studies, the authors explored whether emphasizing the sexual behavior of gay men and lesbians influences heterosexuals' impressions of gay male and lesbian targets. In both studies, participants read short vignettes of heterosexual and gay male or lesbian targets that described their sexual histories using information restricted to only 1 component of sexual orientation (emotion, behaviors, or fantasies). The results of Study 1 showed that participants rated a behavioral gay male target more negatively than they did the emotions and fantasy targets, and this difference was a function of participant religiosity. In Study 2, participants rated the behavioral lesbian target more negatively than they did the emotions and fantasy targets; however, these differential ratings of the lesbian targets were not affected by participant religiosity.     

Student Prejudice Against Gay Male and Lesbian Lecturers

Abstract

The authors examined whether gay men and lesbians are evaluated more negatively than individuals of unspecified sexual orientation when attributional ambiguity surrounds evaluations and whether they are evaluated similarly to unspecified others when no attributional ambiguity is present. One male and one female lecturer delivered either a strong or a weak lecture to students who either (a) believed that the lecturer was a gay man or a lesbian or (b) did not receive sexual orientation information. Contrary to predictions, the quality of the lecture did not influence the ratings of known gay male and lesbian lecturers, although lecture quality strongly influenced ratings of lecturers whose sexual orientation was unspecified. After strong lectures, participants rated known gay male and lesbian lecturers more negatively than they did lecturers whose sexual orientation was unspecified. After weak lectures, participants rated known gay male and lesbian lecturers more positively than they did the others. The authors discussed the possibility that students might moderate their ratings to avoid discriminating against gay and lesbian lecturers.     

Marriage and Family Therapists' Comfort Level Working With Gay and Lesbian Individuals,Couples, and Families

As professionals, therapists should be prepared to work with a diverse population. The purpose of this study was to explore predictors of American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy Clinical Members' comfort level in working with gay and lesbian individuals, couples, and families. Results indicated that therapists' scores on the Support for Lesbian and Gay Human Rights Scale predicted their comfort level in working with gay and lesbian individuals, couples, and families. The challenge for training programs is to assist therapists-in-training and supervisors with self-exploration and to increase opportunities for interactions with gays and lesbians.