Emerging Perspectives on Distinctions Between Romantic Love and Sexual Desire

Abstract— Although sexual desire and romantic love are often experienced in concert, they are fundamentally distinct subjective experiences with distinct neurobiological substrates. The basis for these distinctions is the evolutionary origin of each type of experience. The processes underlying sexual desire evolved in the context of sexual mating, whereas the processes underlying romantic love—or pair bonding—originally evolved in the context of infant-caregiver attachment. Consequently, not only can humans experience these feelings separately, but an individual's sexual predisposition for the same sex, the other sex, or both sexes may not circumscribe his or her capacity to fall in love with partners of either gender. Also, the role of oxytocin in both love and desire may contribute to the widely observed phenomenon that women report experiencing greater interconnections between love and desire than do men. Because most research on the neurobiological substrates of sexual desire and affectional bonding has been conducted with animals, a key priority for future research is systematic investigation of the coordinated biological, behavioral, cognitive, and emotional processes that shape experiences of love and desire in humans.     

The Significance of Romantic Love for Marriage

In this study, 605 subjects were asked about romantic love and marriage. Married people differentiated themselves from single people with stable partners and divorced people with new partners by more frequently living together with their great love, more reciprocity in that love, and less disappointments in love relationships prior to the current relationship; but they also described themselves as less happy and satisfied than the single and divorced respondents, particularly with regard to tenderness, sex, and conversation with their partners. Independent of marital status, those who were greatly in love with their partners describe themselves as happier. Love at first sight, relative to a gradually developing love, nevertheless, did not have a worse prognosis for happiness in marriage. Being in love seems to be of greater importance for the prognosis of the marriage than marital happiness and satisfaction.     

The Emerging Field of Adolescent Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships are central in adolescents' lives. They have the potential to affect development positively, but also place adolescents at risk for problems. Romantic experiences change substantially over the course of adolescence; the peer context plays a critical role as heterosexual adolescents initially interact with the other sex in a group context, then begin group dating, and finally have dyadic romantic relationships. Adolescents' expectations and experiences in romantic relationships are related to their relationships with their peers as well as their parents. Although research on adolescents' romantic relationships has blossomed in the past decade, further work is needed to identify the causes and consequences of romantic experiences, examine the diversity of romantic experiences, and integrate the field with work on sexuality and adult romantic relationships.     

The Break-Up Check: Exploring Romantic Love through Relationship Terminations

People who experience love often experience break-ups as well. However, philosophers of love have paid little attention to the phenomenon. Here, I address that gap by looking at the grieving process which follows unchosen relationship terminations. I ask which one is the loss that, if it were to be recovered, would stop grief or make it unwarranted. Is it the beloved, the reciprocation of love, the relationship, or all of it? By answering this question I not only provide with an insight on the nature of break-ups, but also make a specific claim about the nature of love. I argue that the object that is universally lost in all break-ups is a person with certain intrinsic qualities, who is in a relationship characterised by certain shared activities and recognized as romantic. That means that, at least in romantic terminations, the beloved and the relationship are not independent objects of grief. So, plausibly, they may not independent objects of value in love. Hence, those who state otherwise (within the property view and the relationship view) should face up to this objection coming from the study of break-ups.     

Nature of Romantic Love in Female Adolescents

In the present study, I intended to determine the similarity between Rubin's (1970) Love Scale components and five of Lee's (1976) six lovestyles in a relatively homogenous sample of 301 16- and 17-year-old British females. Items describing loving behaviors toward a particular individual were formulated to measure these lovestyles together with that of Ludus. The six orthogonal factors extracted from the correlation matrix of these and Rubin's items were called Love, Mutual Love, Respect, Similarity, Physical Attraction and Hostility. The results suggested that Rubin's Love Scale contained elements of Mania and Agape but none of Ludus, which could not be further differentiated. Rubin's (1970) Liking Scale, however, could be further subdivided into Respect (Pragma) and Similarity (Storge).     

Feigning Romantic Interest: The Role of Self-Monitoring

In two studies, we examined the extent to which high and low self-monitoring individuals successfully feigned romantic interest in potential dating partners. In Study 1, high self-monitoring men and women reported they would be better at, and would derive more enjoyment from, feigning interest in two different relationship initiation contexts. In Study 2, high self-monitoring men and women were videotaped while they tried to feign interest or lack of interest in an attractive opposite-sex person. Raters evaluated participants' verbal and nonverbal behavior on measures of perceived interest/liking and behavioral cues known to signal romantic interest. When they feigned interest, high self-monitoring men and women were rated as conveying greater interest than low self-monitors through the verbal channel. Additional analyses identified the specific verbal cues that did and did not mediate links between self-monitoring and ratings of verbal interest.     

Flirting With Death: The Role of Father in Containment of Sexually Perverse Behavior

The author demonstrates, through clinical case illustration, how sexual perversion is linked to traumatic early separation-individuation processes. The illusion of fusion with a seductive and gratifying mother-introject led a young man into the risky business of unprotected gay sex with strangers. The pleasure-seeking child and enabling mother narrative was played out in the transference/counter-transference relationship threatening to pervert the analysis. Authoritative limit setting re-introduced a potent, previously castrated, father figure into the patient’s inner world and gave the patient impetus to separate from the undifferentiated mix-up between mother and child, resulting in containment of dangerous sexual behaviors.     

The Role of Parenting in Relational Aggression and Prosocial Behavior among Emerging Adults

This study investigated the role of remembered parenting styles and parental psychological control in the prediction of relational aggression and prosocial behavior in a college student sample (N = 323). Participants’ retrospective ratings of how they were parented were related to relational aggression and prosocial behavior; however, somewhat different relationships emerged for African American and White participants. Permissive parenting, authoritative parenting, and parental psychological control predicted relational aggression. Participant race and all 3 parenting styles (authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive) predicted prosocial behavior. Participant race moderated the relationship between psychological control and prosocial behavior. Specifically, parental psychological control was inversely related to prosocial behavior for African American, but not White, participants.     

Romantic Relationships in Emerging Adulthood: A Developmental Perspective

This phenomenography contributes towards understanding experienced realties of emerging adults in the context of romantic relationships and its consequent developmental outcomes. Thirty romantically involved emerging adults, 15 women and 15 men participated in the study. A mixed method approach using in-depth, open-ended interview guidelines and rating scales revealed that, emerging adults found these relationships more satisfying than dissatisfying. Data from both qualitative and quantitative methods revealed that romantic relationships have significant and lasting impact of an individual’s development. Both boys and girls reported a positive change in the quality of life, which included positive feelings of happiness and reducing negative states such as anger and sadness. Paradoxes and contradictions in relationship experiences and processes have been discussed and implications towards enhancing positive developmental outcomes have been indicated.     

Connecting Eating Pathology with Risk for Engaging in Suicidal Behavior: The Mediating Role of Experiential Avoidance

Individuals with eating pathology, particularly those with diagnosed eating disorders, are at high risk for suicide. It is less clear whether undiagnosed eating pathology and subsyndromal eating disorders carry the same risk and, if so, what mechanisms may explain why higher levels of eating pathology yield greater risk for engaging in suicidal behaviors. The indirect relationship between disordered eating and risk for suicidal behaviors via facets of experiential avoidance was tested using a multiple‐mediator model. The model was tested using bootstrapping estimates of indirect effects in a sample of 218 noncollege student adults (Mage = 32.33, 66.1% women) with a history of suicidal attempt and/or history of nonsuicidal self‐injury (NSSI). Results revealed that disordered eating indirectly predicted risk for suicidal behaviors, distress aversion (i.e., negative attitudes or dislike of distress), and procrastination (i.e., delaying engagement with distressing activities). Results suggest that targeting experiential avoidance and helping those who have a history of engaging in suicidal behaviors and/or NSSI develop regulation strategies to use during times of distress may be of utmost importance for treatment and prevention of eating pathology.     

Parental Problem Drinking and Emerging Adult Problem Behavior: The Moderating Role of Parental Support

This study examined the relationship between parental problem drinking (maternal and paternal) and emerging adult problem behaviors (alcohol use, drug use, and antisocial behavior). In addition, the moderating role of parental support (maternal and paternal) was explored. Data were drawn from a nationally representative sample of emerging adults (N?=?600; Mage?=?20.00, SD?=?1.42; 50% women; 62% White). Results from regression analyses of survey data indicated that both maternal problem drinking and maternal support moderated the relationship between paternal problem drinking and emerging adult alcohol use. For drug use, there was a three-way interaction between paternal problem drinking, maternal problem drinking, and maternal support. The relationship between paternal problem drinking and drug use only was significant for those who reported high maternal problem drinking and low maternal support. For antisocial behavior, there were positive relationships between paternal problem drinking and antisocial behavior and between maternal problem drinking and antisocial behavior in contexts of varying levels of parental support. Findings highlight the potential for parental support to both buffer and enhance the adverse influence of parental problem drinking across varied contexts.     

The Role of Sleep Disturbance in Suicidal and Nonsuicidal Self‐Injurious Behavior among Adolescents

The relationship between different sleep disturbances and self‐harm thoughts and behaviors was examined among 223 adolescents presenting to a community clinic for mood disorders and suicidal and nonsuicidal self‐injurious behaviors. Two‐thirds of the adolescents reported nightly, severe sleep complaints. Relative to adolescents without significant sleep complaints, patients with severe sleep complaints at the time of clinic entry endorsed significantly more engagement in nonsuicidal self‐injury. Middle insomnia and circadian reversal were both significant predictors of suicide attempts. Terminal insomnia was significantly associated with suicidal ideation. Results support the importance of assessing sleep difficulties among adolescents at risk for suicide.     

Representations of Romantic Relationships, Romantic Experience and Sexual Behavior in Adolescence

Associations between romantic views and sexual behavior were examined in a community sample of 200 high school adolescents. This study incorporated interview and self‐report measures of romantic views, assessed multiple facets of sexual behavior (frequency, rapidity, onset, and risky behavior), and examined light nongenital, heavy nongenital, and genital sexual behaviors. Avoidant romantic views were related to later onset of genital sexual behavior and less frequent sexual behavior, particularly light and heavy nongenital behaviors. Anxious views were related to more frequent sexual behavior and more risky behavior. Direct effects were found between avoidant views and light and heavy nongenital sexual frequency, and indirect effects were found between avoidant views and genital frequency, onset of heavy nongenital and genital sexual behavior.