Coming Home/Coming Out

Abstract

This article is a theological reflection on one Queer Asian American woman’s experience of caring for her mother with Alzheimer’s disease. Using Coming Out/Coming Home as a frame and metaphor, the author explores the complexity of “home” for many Koreans/Korean-Americans whose very lives intersect with and are disrupted by major events in Korean and world history. For them, the act of coming home is complex, textured, and layered with experiences of loss, trauma, dislocation, resilience and hope. Through dis-ordered memories of a mother with Alzheimer’s, this article attempts to re-order what it means to come home. Grace Cho’s “ghostly haunting” provides a methodology. Layering theory with personal narratives, stories and a dream, ot is an experiment in performance—phantomogenic words that become “staged words.” In three parts, “coming home”, “ghostly hauntings”, and “tug-of-war”, this article performs coming home/coming out of one queer family’s experience of caring for a mother with Alzheimer’s.     

Predicting the Timing of Coming Out in Gay and Bisexual Men From World Beliefs,Physical Attractiveness,and Childhood Gender Identity/Role1

In a questionnaire study, we examined the age of “coming out” (i.e., acknowledging one's sexual identity) in gay and bisexual men as predicted by belief in a just world (BJW), personal efficacy (PE), physical attractiveness, childhood gender identity/role, and demographics. As hypothesized, men with a higher BJW, greater physical attractiveness, greater degree of same‐sex behavior, and younger age reported an earlier age of coming out. An interaction between BJW and childhood gender identity/role showed, as expected, that the relation with BJW only occurred among men with greater childhood femininity. Unexpectedly, PE was unrelated to age of coming out. Results add to previous studies on the coming‐out process and to work suggesting a buffering effect of BJW in other contexts.     

Coming Out to Parents in Japan: A Sociocultural Analysis of Lived Experiences

While empirical studies on LGBT individuals coming out to their parents are common in Western societies, these studies are rare in non-Western societies. This article attempts to fill that void by shedding light on the experiences of Japanese individuals coming out to their parents. The coming-out narratives of Japanese LGBT individuals (N = 43) were examined. This study revealed three important findings. (1) Similar to the findings of studies in Western societies, Japanese LGBT individuals typically consider coming out to their fathers considerably more difficult than coming out to their mothers. Moreover, many study participants expressed the absence of a significant relationship with their fathers, even before coming out—making coming out to their fathers unnecessary. (2) Similar to the findings in previous studies, Japanese mothers’ responses are often reactionary and abusive; in fact, a disproportionate number of Japanese lesbian, bisexual female, and transgender Female-to-Male/X-gender individuals reported their mothers’ markedly negative, personal responses, illustrating why some were reluctant to come out to their mothers. (3) By contrast, Japanese gay and transgender Male-to-Female/X-gender individuals reported their mothers’ responses were comparatively undemonstrative. Also, they typically attribute their mothers’ negative responses to the fact that mothers are the solo overseers of heteronormative norms at home. Overall, Japanese LGBT individuals’ experiences reveal the gendered effects of Japanese sociocultural configuration, as well as the Japanese cultural implication of disclosing one’s sexuality.     

Helping Spouses Cope with Partners Coming Out: A Solution-Focused Approach

This article reviews previous research on coping strategies of spouses with partners who have come out. The current research on coping strategies has come from the work of Amity Pierce Buxton. Next the article examines previous treatment methods used with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners. Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT) is discussed and suggested as an approach with this population. A case example is presented to show how SFBT was used with a client struggling with the news of her partner coming out. Finally, the implications of using SFBT and how the approach helps partners progress through Buxton's stages is discussed.     

Coming out stories framed as faith narratives, or stories of spiritual growth

The tension between religion and sexuality is particularly pronounced for gay and lesbian people who are often “caught in the middle” between a constitutional sexual orientation and a religious body that rejects it. This paper demonstrates how gay men can be helped in trying to integrate these deeply human and intrinsic parts of themselves, using a developmental approach first articulated by Robert Kegan. It argues that such development is often reflected later in theological language: in this case, in these men's coming out narratives, which are often framed as stories of spiritual growth.     

Attitudes and Beliefs About Suicidal Behavior When Coming Out Is the Precipitant of the Suicidal Behavior

Young persons who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) have higher rates of nonfatal suicidal behavior than their heterosexual peers. It has been suggested that suicidal behavior may be a painful but unavoidable rite of passage for LGB youths at the coming out stage. Could this mean that suicidal behavior is considered understandable and even permissible behavior for LGB youths at this stage? In this study we explored reactions to a suicidal decision when coming out was the precipitant of the suicidal act. Specifically, we compared attitudes toward a suicidal decision after coming out and being rejected by one's parents with attitudes toward a suicidal decision after experiencing other stressors (i.e., a physical illness, a relationship loss, or an academic failure). Contrary to expectation, the decision to engage in suicidal behavior following coming out was not viewed in relatively accepting terms. Rather, it was perceived as unsound and weak. As in previous studies, physical illness was singled out as a relatively understandable motivation for suicidal behavior. In addition, we found that androgynous persons viewed the suicidal decision as more unsound than other gender-identity types, independent of precipitant. Given similar evidence from other studies, future research might explore the role of androgyny in the protection against suicidal behavior.

     

Coming Out: Considering the Closet of Illness

This essay explores key concerns surrounding coming out as a person with illness and addresses important professional and social considerations for those who are closeted in various kinds of illness. Using central tenets of Queer Theory and Disability and Cultural Studies as a theoretical base, I examine the politics of coming out in the specific context of my lived experience during the 2002 NEH Summer Institute, Medicine, Literature, and Culture While such an environment might foster unusual candor about personal illness experience, I discovered that the choice to come out as a person with chronic, non-infectious disease (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) was nevertheless complicated in interesting ways.     

Sex is a Minor Thing: Parents of Gay Sons Negotiating the Social Influences of Coming Out

Social influences emanating from cultural and religious factors confront gay young people in their coming out process and often play a part in determining how their parents react to the ‘news’. This article focuses on the ways that social influences revolving around culture, religion and homosexuality interact in ways that shape the perceptions and experiences of Maltese parents in relation to the coming out of their children, as described by them. The study locates the parents as active and passive social agents caught between religious and cultural factors, in ways which involve resistance and complacency, through the production of ‘entanglements’.     

Lesbian Grief and Loss Issues in the Coming Out Process

This article explores the concept of loss during the lesbian coming out process. A five-stage model is proposed which examines the process of grieving various losses such as the loss of the heterosexual lifestyle, rituals of marriage and divorce, societal acceptance of the relationship, and possible loss of the esteem of family and community. Ethnicity and life stages are discussed. Clinical interventions are proposed.     

Stress-Related Growth Experience: Listening to Korean Adolescents who have Visual Impairments

Research suggests that negative life events facilitate stress-related growth, such as the development of coping strategies and restoration skills. In this study, we aimed to capture the characteristics of stress-related growth among Korean adolescents who have visual impairments. Using a constructive grounded theory methodology, three themes were identified as characteristics of stress-related growth experiences: (a) developing meaningful relationships, (b) creating coping strategies, and (c) discovering personal strength. This study indicates that Korean adolescents who had visual impairments developed their own coping strategies to deal with various stressors and increased their awareness of their inner strengths and talents. It also suggests that challenging life circumstances may provide opportunities for Korean adolescents who have visual impairments to experience emotional wellbeing.     

A Computer-Mediated Escape from the Closet: Exploring Identity,Community, and Disinhibited Discussion on an Internet Coming Out Advice Forum

Research suggests that gay men and lesbians, as a product of being raised by heterosexuals in a heterosexist culture, are often shielded from information to help them cope with their stigmatized identity in their early years. Unsurprisingly, this community of individuals has been found to use the Internet more heavily than their heterosexual counterparts. This study examined an advice sub-forum on a popular set of forums designated for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) people negotiating the coming out process. Employing online disinhibition as a framework, and drawing from an identity management standpoint, a thematic analysis uncovered seven unique ways that LGBTQ people create community and craft identities in a computer-mediated context.     

Assessment and Prediction of Stress-Related Growth

This article reports the development of the Stress-Related Growth Scale (SRGS) and its use in a study examining determinants of stress-related positive outcomes for college students. Study 1 analyses showed that the SRGS has acceptable internal and test-retest reliability and that scores are not influenced by social desirability. Study 2 analyses showed that college students' SRGS responses were significantly related to those provided by friends and relatives on their behalf. Study 3 analyses tested the determinants of stress-related growth longitudinally. Significant predictors of the SRGS were (a) intrinsic religiousness; (b) social support satisfaction; (c) stressfulness of the negative event; (d) positive reinterpretation and acceptance coping; and (e) number of recent positive life events. The SRGS was also positively related to residual change in optimism, positive affectivity, number of socially supportive others, and social support satisfaction, lending further support to the validity of this new scale. Results have implications for current theory on stress-related positive outcomes.     

Stories of Life Transition: Subjective Well-Being and Ego Development in Parents of Children with Down Syndrome

Eighty-seven parents of children with Down Syndrome (DS; 63 women, 24 men) wrote narratives about finding out that their child had DS and completed questionnaire measures of subjective well-being (SWB) and stress-related growth and completed the Sentence Completion Test as a measure of ego development. Forty-two of these individuals participated in a follow-up 2 years later. Foreshadowing and happy endings in the stories were related to heightened SWB at both time periods. Evidence of accommodative change—actively experiencing a paradigmatic shift—was related to stress-related growth and ego development at both time periods. A high sense of closure and accommodation in the stories was associated with the highest levels of stress-related growth. Implications for research on well-being and personal growth are discussed.     

Determinants of stress-related growth: Gender, stressfulness of the event, and coping strategies

The present study aimed to investigate the determinants of stress-related growth. For this aim the associations of gender, stressfulness of the event, and three coping strategies (problem-oriented, fatalistic, and helplessness) with stress-related growth were tested by multiple regression analysis. Participants were 132 undergraduate students. Results revealed that females reported higher levels of stress-related growth than males, and as expected, higher levels of the stressfulness of the event associated with more stress-related growth. Furthermore, frequent utilization of problem-oriented and fatalistic coping strategies was associated with higher stress-related growth. These findings were discussed in the light of relevant literature and culture-specific features. This work has been supported by the Turkish Academy of Sciences, in the framework of the Young Scientist Award Program (TG-TUBA-GEB>P/2002-l-l 1).     

Determinants of stress-related growth: Gender,stressfulness of the event,and coping strategies

The present study aimed to investigate the determinants of stress-related growth. For this aim the associations of gender, stressfulness of the event, and three coping strategies (problem-oriented, fatalistic, and helplessness) with stress-related growth were tested by multiple regression analysis. Participants were 132 undergraduate students. Results revealed that females reported higher levels of stress-related growth than males, and as expected, higher levels of the stressfulness of the event associated with more stress-related growth. Furthermore, frequent utilization of problem-oriented and fatalistic coping strategies was associated with higher stress-related growth. These findings were discussed in the light of relevant literature and culture-specific features. This work has been supported by the Turkish Academy of Sciences, in the framework of the Young Scientist Award Program (TG-TUBA-GEB>P/2002-l-l 1).     

Sexual Orientation and Developmental Challenges Experienced by Gay and Lesbian Youths

Youths with a homosexual orientation face different developmental challenges during adolescence than those faced by heterosexual youths or individuals who recognize their homosexual orientation later in life. We discuss the impact of “coming out,” or defining a homosexual orientation, on the development and identity formation of youths who come out during adolescence. The process of coming out is presented as entailing four broad dimensions: recognizing oneself as lesbian or gay; exploring one's sexual orientation through the gay and lesbian community; disclosing one's sexual orientation to others; and becoming more comfortable with one's sexual orientation. Some of the major challenges faced by these youths are described, and future directions for research efforts are discussed.     

Understanding the Association Between Spirituality,Religiosity, and Feelings of Happiness and Sadness Among HIV-Positive Indian Adults: Examining Stress-Related Growth as a Mediator

This study examined the role of stress-related growth as a mediator of the associations between spirituality, religiosity, and feelings of happiness and sadness in a sample of 178 HIV-positive Indian adults. Results indicated that spirituality, but not religiosity, was associated with feelings of happiness and sadness. Subsequent mediation analyses indicated that stress-related growth fully mediated the relationships involving spirituality and feelings of happiness and sadness. Overall, our findings point to the importance of facilitating greater spiritual development among HIV-positive Indians, as well as promoting strategies that help them develop and apply stress-related growth coping methods in their lives.     

Coming to terms with coming out: review and recommendations for family systems-focused research.

For lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) adolescents and young adults, coming out to family members, especially parents, is a major psychological decision and hurdle due to both perceived fears and actual negative consequences. But beyond the literature on factors associated with the decision to come out and parents' initial reactions to the disclosure, empirical studies of what unfolds afterward, and how the family adjusts to the LGB adolescent's identity over time, are sparse and scattered. This article reviews and integrates findings from studies of the individual-, dyadic-, and family-level variables associated with positive outcomes, focusing particularly on relationship variables. Methodological concerns within this body of research are discussed, and research recommendations are offered. A preliminary working model of how families successfully come to terms with coming out is proposed to guide future research that will advance theory and clinical work with LGB youth and their families.     

Brief Cognitive Behavioral Family Therapy Following a Child's Coming Out: A Case Report

Few interventions have been proposed for the treatment of families following a child's disclosure of nonheterosexuality. To address this gap in the literature, the current paper outlines a brief cognitive behavioral family treatment (CBFT) for families negotiating the coming-out process and illustrates this approach with a case example. Parents' attributions, beliefs, and expectations are explored and challenged. The family is exposed to increasingly salient topics and directed to increase the frequency of positive family experiences. Lastly, the family is taught specific listening and problem-solving skills to bolster adaptive family communication. This paper is among the first to apply an empirically supported therapeutic framework to support family adjustment following a child's disclosure of sexual orientation. The potential usefulness and limitations of this CBFT application are discussed.     

Posttraumatic Growth and Sexual Violence: A Literature Review

Posttraumatic growth (PTG) is the positive psychological growth that a person might experience after enduring a traumatic event. PTG is a relatively new area of research identified by researchers because it represents a shift in thinking. Rather than focusing on the negative consequences of trauma, it explores the potential for positive outcomes associated with trauma. Although PTG is well documented across different types of traumas, it is unclear how this kind of growth stems from sexual violence, specifically. This review provides an overview of the literature concerning PTG that is associated with sexual violence. Results across the literature indicate that sexual violence is consistently associated with PTG. However, given the inconsistency in research designs, assessment, and operational definitions used to study PTG, many researchers suggest that it might be difficult to determine how and when PTG occurs. This study provides a literature review of the research on PTG in the aftermath of sexual violence. Important implications for future directions and trauma-based therapy are discussed and include the identification of relevant predictors, the importance of context, and how service providers might benefit from a better understanding of PTG.