Parental Mourning and Children's Behavior

This article alerts professionals to sibling death as a possible reason for behaviors exhibited by young clients. Aside from their own grief, children are affected by parental mourning over a child's death and accompanying changes in the family environment. Children show their distress in a variety of behaviors, some of which appear to be unrelated to the loss. Four areas of concern are presented with case illustrations: cognitive distortions, reactions to parents' distress and preoccupation with the loss, being a replacement child, and effects of parents' failure to work through their grief. Suggestions for helping children and parents include using a genogram for identifying loss, helping the family talk about the death, and providing a support group for children.     

“We Hardly Ever Talk about It”: Emotional Responsive Attunement in Couples after a Child's Death

Within Western cultural traditions, the idea that parents should talk about the death of their child with each other is deeply rooted. However, across bereaved parent couples there are wide variations in communication about their grief with each other. In this study, we explored the experiences of bereaved couples related to the process of talking and not talking. We used a thematic coding approach to analyze 20 interviews with 26 bereaved parents (11 interviewed as couples, four as individuals). Four main meanings emerged out of our analysis: not talking because of the inadequacy and pointlessness of words in grief, not talking as a way to regulate emotions in daily life, not talking as an expression of a personal, intimate process, and not talking because the partner has the same loss but a different grief process. In addition, we found that the process of talking and not talking can partly be understood as an emotional responsive process on an intrapersonal and interpersonal level. In this process partners search for a bearable distance from their own grief and their partner's, and attune with their relational context. A better understanding of this process is sought in a dialectical approach, emphasizing the value of both talking and not talking in a tense relationship with each other. Implications for clinical work are described.     

Long-term effects of the death of a child on parents' adjustment in midlife.

The death of a child is a traumatic event that can have long-term effects on the lives of parents. This study examined bereaved parents of deceased children (infancy to age 34) and comparison parents with similar backgrounds (n = 428 per group) identified in the Wisconsin Longitudinal Study. An average of 18.05 years following the death, when parents were age 53, bereaved parents reported more depressive symptoms, poorer well-being, and more health problems and were more likely to have experienced a depressive episode and marital disruption than were comparison parents. Recovery from grief was associated with having a sense of life purpose and having additional children but was unrelated to the cause of death or the amount of time since the death. The results point to the need for detection and intervention to help those parents who are experiencing lasting grief.     

Comparison Of Narratives Of Loss Experiences Of World War Ii and Vietnam Combat Veterans

Abstract

While their continuing grief now is receiving periodic media attention, for years and even decades, American soldiers who fought in World War II (WWII) and who fought in Vietnam have suffered their life-altering experiences of loss in silence. Many of the WWII generation now have died and cannot share their grief with us. We as scholars of loss and trauma have a special obligation to reach out to the living survivors of WWII for information about their experiences. As has been often noted (e.g., Kuenning, 1990), for years after the conclusion of the Vietnam War, the stories of loss and grief of Vietnam veterans were not welcomed. The purpose of this chapter is to report some comparative narrative evidence from veterans of these two wars. Our major question was whether strong differences between groups in perceived long-term impact of combat experience would be reported.     

The Emotional Reengineering of Loss: On the Grief-Anger-Social Action Continuum

This article deals with the role of bereaved parents' anger as a motivating force for political and public activism. After reviewing the place of anger in the experience of processing loss and bereavement and presenting anger as a factor that leads to public initiative, the article deals with the place that anger occupies in the bereaved sector of Israeli society. The claim is made that Israeli society has changed since its early years, when "the national management of emotions" did not allow anger to be present in the public discourse of bereaved parents, to the current era in which anger is an inseparable part of Israeli bereavement discourse. The following section of the article includes an interpretive analysis of the place of anger among the research subjects, bereaved parents who later became public and political entrepreneurs. All of the research subjects lost a son in one of three circumstances that are part of the Israeli security agenda: operational accidents, terrorist attacks, and IDF combat in Lebanon. Finally, the study attempts to answer how anger structures both public and private bereavement in Israel, shaping the bereaved parents as instant celebrities.     

Patterns of attachment and parents' adjustment to the death of their child

The impact of adult attachment on psychological adjustment among bereaved parents and the mediating effect of relationship satisfaction were examined among a sample of 219 couples of parents. Data collection took place 6, 13, and 20 months after loss. Use of the actor partner interdependence model in multilevel regression analysis enabled exploration of both individual as well as partner attachment as predictors of grief and depression. Results indicated that the more insecurely attached parents were (on both avoidance and anxiety attachment), the higher the symptoms of grief and depression. Neither the attachment pattern of the partner nor similarity of attachment within the couple had any influence on psychological adjustment of the parent. Marital satisfaction partially mediated the association of anxious attachment with symptomatology. Contrary to previous research findings, avoidant attachment was associated with high grief intensity. These findings challenge the notion that the avoidantly attached are resilient.     

Mentalizing in Parents after Traumatic Loss. Analysis of Couple Counseling

Abstract

The aim of the study is to explore whether bereaved parents’ capacity to mentalize is related to their progression through grieving and how it changes during couple therapy. The clients’ RF levels were assessed using the Reflective Functioning Scale and Psychotherapy Reflective Functioning Scale Manual. The content of the sessions was analyzed using Thematic Analysis. At the beginning of the therapy, concrete images of the child’s death were more frequent and the parents’ RF was lower than their general RF level. As the therapy progressed these images were gradually supplanted by more mental references to the deceased child.     

When a child dies: the sociobiology of bereavement

According to modern evolutionary theory, the fitness of individuals consists of both their personal reproductive success and the reproductive success of those with whom they share genes in common. It follows that one of the most biologically costly events possible is the death of a child. This study investigated the grief intensity of bereaved parents and their immediate families using ratings made by 263 bereaved parents. Predictions were derived from sociobiological tenets relating to parental investment, paternal uncertainty, and the propagation potential of both parents and children. Consequently, it was found that mothers grieved more than fathers, healthy children were grieved for more than unhealthy children; male children were grieved for more than female children; health of child and sex of child interacted such that the pattern of grief intensity obtained was healthy male greater than healthy female = unhealthy female = unhealthy male; similar children were grieved for more than dissimilar children; maternal grandmothers grieved more than either maternal grandfathers or paternal grandmothers, who in turn grieved more than paternal grandfathers; and mothers' siblings grieved more than fathers' siblings.     

Protective Parenting After the Death of a Child

Abstract

Parents in 18 of 21 couples who parented other children following a child's death said that they became more protective parents after the death. In intensive interview, the parents said that the greater protectiveness was rooted in a greater awareness of child vulnerability and of their own vulnerability to child loss. The protection took many forms, including greater vigilance, more rapid response to any sign of trouble, concealing parent grief, and subordinating personal needs in order to benefit the child. Protection or overprotection seemed typically to occur in a system in which children collaborated in their own overprotection and parents were more child focused and less spouse focused     

Long-term effects of losing a spouse or child in a motor vehicle crash

In this article we examine the long-term effects of the sudden, unexpected loss of a spouse or child. In the spouse study, interviews were conducted with 39 individuals who had lost a spouse in a motor vehicle crash 4 to 7 years ago and with 39 matched controls. In the parent study, interviews were conducted with 41 parents who had lost a child in a crash and with 41 matched controls. Control respondents were matched to bereaved respondents case-by-case on the basis of sex, age, income, education, and number and ages of children. Significant differences between bereaved spouses and controls were revealed on several indicators of general functioning, including depression and other psychiatric symptoms, social functioning, psychological well-being, reactivity to good events, and future worries and concerns. For the most part, these differences persisted when variables such as present family income and present marital status were statistically controlled. Comparisons between bereaved and control parents also revealed significant differences on some measures of general functioning (especially depression), but these were not as pervasive as the differences obtained in the spouse study. Responses to questions about current thoughts and feelings suggest that the deceased continued to occupy the thoughts and conversations of bereaved spouses and parents. Moreover, a large percentage of respondents (from 30% to 85%, depending on the question), continued to ruminate about the accident or what might have been done to prevent it, and they appeared to be unable to accept, resolve, or find any meaning in the loss. Taken together, the data provide little support for traditional notions of recovery from the sudden, unexpected loss of a spouse or child.     

The Place of Mysticism in Personal Commemorative Films of Bereaved Parents

This article sheds light on the central place of mysticism in the world of Israeli parents who have lost a child in battle or in a terror attack, and demonstrates how bereaved parents, by including mystical events in their narratives, try to find order, rationale, and purpose that will enable them to move on with their lives. The data are based on a thorough qualitative analysis of 20 personal commemorative films created or commissioned by bereaved parents.     

Group Facilitation of the Grieving Process With Those Bereaved by Suicide

People bereaved by suicide receive less sympathy and support from society than do those bereaved by other causes. By using Yalom's curative factors, Parkes's stages of grief, and Worden's tasks of grief resolution, a structured group model can be constructed to facilitate movement through the grieving process of participants bereaved by suicide.     

Youth Mental Illness and the Family: Parents’ Loss and Grief

Parents and family members whose adult child or relative has a mental illness endure significant losses, to which they respond with grief. Such grief may negatively affect family members’ physical and psychological health and also the relationship with their relative. Yet, research in this field is sparse. Very few studies have examined parents’ loss and grief in the context of the patient being a child or teen. It is not clear the extent to which parents’ loss and grief in response to their child or adolescent’s mental illness is similar or different to the accounts of older parents and family members caring for an adult relative with major psychopathology (e.g., Schizophrenia, Bipolar disorder). Parental loss and grief is not often addressed in child and adolescent mental health services’ provision of care; alarmingly, little is known about how best to support parents who access these services. The present study aimed to bridge this knowledge gap and identify the therapeutic needs of this younger parent population. Comprehensive interviews were conducted with 14 parents and one custodial grandparent of a youth aged 18 years or younger who was currently attending a child and adolescent mental health service. An inductive thematic analysis identified six themes; parents’ narrative of finding out, profound and pervasive loss, complex grief, waning support, the challenges of caregiving and a call for assistance. It can be inferred from these results that youth mental illness can constitute a source of loss and grief for parents. Participants’ loss and grief was largely consistent with the experience of families caring for an adult relative with major psychopathology. Opportunities for mental health practitioners to support families’ loss and grief were identified. Further studies are needed to enhance understanding of this complex and, to a large extent, ignored familial experience. Results do underscore the importance of clinicians acknowledging parents’ loss and grief and working directly with this experience over the course of youths’ treatment, perhaps in conjunction with family psychoeducation approaches.     

Mothers continuing bonds and ambivalence to personal mortality after the death of their child--an interpretative phenomenological analysis

The main objective of this study was to identify how bereaved mothers describe their coping strategies in their own words. The literature on parental bereavement is sparse, and the present study aims to add to existing knowledge by eliciting the mothers' experiences covering a wide range of child ages including infants, younger children and adults. Semi-structured interviews were held with 13 bereaved mothers in the UK. Causes of death include accident, illness and suicide. The methodological approach was interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA). This article reports two inter-related recurrent themes: (1) Continuing the bond with the deceased child and (2) Ambivalence to personal mortality. Participants reported that the relationship with their child was continued in a variety of ways, from tending to the grave and the child's remains, through linking objects or by establishing a symbolic representation of the child within their daily lives. All mothers talked openly about their own mortality, either demonstrating ambivalence about their own death, or expressing clear suicidal ideation. Death was seen as a release from living with the pain of loss. The presence of surviving siblings appeared to moderate suicidal ideation, but mothers expressed concerns about their ability to care adequately for other family members during times of intense grief.     

Trauma-Focused CBT for Traumatic Grief in Military Children

Although military children are typically as resilient as the general child population, the ongoing conflict has exposed military children to unusual stressors such as repeated deployment, severe injury, or the death of a parent or sibling. U.S. forces have experienced more than 5,600 casualties during Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom, with growing numbers of suicides among Service members. These deaths have affected thousands of military children. Most bereaved military children experience adaptive grief characterized by deep sadness, longing for the deceased person, and being comforted by positive memories of the deceased. A smaller number of military children develop childhood traumatic grief, characterized by trauma symptoms that interfere with adaptive grieving. Children with traumatic grief get “stuck” on the traumatic aspects of the death such as picturing the imagined or real details of the death; imagining the pain their loved one experienced in the moments before dying; wishing for revenge; and becoming angry at those who do not understand or share the child’s thoughts and feelings about the death. These children avoid reminders of the deceased person. Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT) is an evidence-based treatment for children with trauma symptoms including those with traumatic grief. TF-CBT may be particularly suitable for military families. This article describes the clinical application of TF-CBT for traumatic grief in military children.     

Beyond Broken Bonds and Broken Hearts: The Bonding of Theories of Attachment and Grief

Attachment theory describes the establishment and long-term impact of infants' early relationships. Theories of grief and mourning have acknowledged that the disruption of attachment bonds is loss and grief, but the attachment literature shows little development toward a conceptual linkage with these theories. The connection is important given the current discussion of whether bonds with the deceased are broken or continued. The purpose of this article is to link the strengths of each perspective to inform us about the process of grief as mourners work through the reconstruction of their relationships. It presents a developmental model integrating attachment theory and cognitive developmental approaches in order to further our understanding of the processes involved in loss and grief.     

The use of religion in coping with grief among bereaved Malay Muslim parents

The purpose of this study is to explore the influence of religion on bereaved parents after the death of a child. Literature had attempted to understand how religiosity may influence parental grief both in positive and negative ways. However, this area is scarcely explored in the Malaysian context. This qualitative study involved 11 bereaved parents who lost their children due to accidents (n?=?9) and homicide (n?=?2). Open-ended questions that focused on the importance, activities, and role of religion in the grieving process among Malay parents were asked. According to the thematic analysis, some of the main themes found were that the bereaved parents described religion as a beneficial mechanism in helping them to adapt with their losses through various responses that indicated the perception that religion as a guidance. However, other than the positive impact, religiosity can also lead the bereaved parents to experience negative effects of using religion as a coping strategy. The influence of culture is prevalent in the current study as the theme of mystical belief and paranormal experiences were also reported. This study provides some professional implication from the possible use of religion in intervention.     

Self-defining memories in complicated grief

There is increasing attention to the mechanisms underpinning maladaptive responses to bereavement. This study indexed self-defining memories in bereaved individuals with and without complicated grief (CG). Participants with and without complicated grief (N = 40) were asked to describe three self-defining memories. Results showed that CG participants provided more self-defining memories involving the deceased. Both groups were equally likely to report their loved one's death as a self-defining moment, however, the no-CG group showed more evidence of benefit finding in their memory narratives and experienced less negative emotion on recall. The findings suggest that CG is associated with distinctive patterns of autobiographical memory that are linked to self-identity. The pattern is consistent with self-memory system models of autobiographical remembering, and suggests that grieving individuals who experience ongoing yearning for their loved one view their self-identity as more closely linked to the deceased are more distressed by memories involving the loss.     

Can parental responses to adult children with schizophrenia be conceptualized in terms of loss and grief? A case study analysis

It has been suggested that parental responses to adult children with schizophrenia may involve feelings of loss and grief, centred around loss of the pre-morbid version of their child. In this exploratory study, an in-depth case study analysis of four parental accounts of their responses was undertaken in order to obtain insights into whether these responses can be conceptualized in terms of loss and grief, with the aim of informing therapeutic practice with parents in this position. Information was also obtained on how parents coped with the reactions that their child's condition elicited in them. Data were analysed using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. In relation to the central research question, it was found that the perception of loss was not uniform amongst participants. Three acknowledged a sense of loss, at least to some extent, but one parent resisted such an interpretation because she perceived a continuity over time in her son's behaviour and she also challenged her son's diagnosis. One parent acknowledged a loss of his daughter's pre-morbid self but qualified this by pointing to her continued physical presence. The usefulness of existing models of grief is examined in light of the findings. The implications for the practice of counselling psychology are discussed.