A Journey into Grief

The experience of the death of her Grandmother immerses the author in an intimate experience of grief. She reflects on her journey into grief and presents insights into grief's impact on her personal story as well as her professional life, i.e., her clinical work as a young psychoanalyst-in-training. Other metaphors and dream images, such as life, death, home, homelessness, silence, speech, story, voicelessness, aloneness and loneliness echo throughout the reflection as the author attempts to articulate an understanding of the profound Self-change birthed by death, grief and loss.     

It's Not a Story

This writing presents a firsthand account of living with the certain knowledge that you can't rely on your brain the way you used to. Epilepsy, multiple sclerosis, brain tumor—what do these words really mean day by day, moment by moment? The author blends poetry and prose in her account of forging a new relationship with her own brain. Activities that were once routine are now difficult and even dangerous. No longer is her brain a silent partner as she navigates the debilitating, embarrassing, and occasionally humiliating symptoms of her disease. Can I really get through this shower? How much help do we need today, Brain? Mindfulness practice helps the author become more aware of her moment-by-moment experience. Her therapist prods her to dig into her own story, but the author resists. She resists and yet she shares her story that may not be a story.     

Lucy's dividing family: My discovery of the person in the subject

Abstract

This essay is excerpted from a larger project the author conducted with adolescent and preadolescent children of divorce. It tells the personal story of the author's first interview experience with her first participant in this project, here called Lucy. At the time of the interview, she was 11 years old and her parents had been divorced for 3 years. In the effort to engage the reader as an outside interpreter of her story, this essay invites the reader in, to the “raw data” of Lucy's experiences, as described in her words. Presented here in dialogue are the two voices of participant and researcher, as well as researcher reflections and recollections of this memorable experience.     

Googling for ghosts: a meditation on writers' block, mourning, and the Holocaust

The author describes her father's experience of being a Holocaust survivor and how his unfinished mourning contributed to her struggle with muteness, her own story being dwarfed by the magnitude of her father's losses. When her non-Jewish mother is chosen to be honored by Yad Vashem, the ceremony proves unexpectedly powerful. The witnessing by community, through the Internet, helps dissolve the shame and isolation, heals some of the trauma, and promotes greater psychological freedom. In creating this paper, the author memorializes her parents and her lost relatives, and succeeds in working through much that had haunted her.     

A Knock on the Door

In this paper, the author, who is a single mother of a young man with mental illness, describes her son’s first psychotic break. By melding poetry, prose, dream journal entries, and medical case notes, she explores the embodied experience of witnessing her son’s decompensation. In sharing her story, she reminds other caregivers of people with mental illness that they are not alone. She makes sense of her experience with findings from the literature about posttraumatic stress among family caregivers of people with chronic illness and explores the implications for caregivers, practitioners, and scholars of mental illness, trauma, and loss.     

The psychiatrist

This short story concerns a court-appointed psychiatrist who must evaluate the sanity of a young woman who killed her eight-month-old daughter. The woman tells of her pain and helplessness at being unable to comfort her infant daughter, who speaks of her own mortality with terrible dread! The story attempts to convey something of the experience of the professional working on the borderline of the real and the unreal, the possible and the impossible, tragedy and absurdity and having to make decisions that have major life consequences.     

A home of her own: (Writing) a family story of separation and second chances

Abstract

On March 16, 1996, the author interviewed her mother, Beth Tillmann, about Beth's parents' divorce and her life as a foster child. From detailed notes taken during this phone conversation and from family stories told to the author throughout tier life, the author constructed a narrative titled “A Home of Her Own” Its structure and tone mimic the way her mother speaks about the dissolution of her family of origin and her attachments to and separations from those who tried to lielp her rebuild a sense of home. After the story is a discussion of what narrative representations of loss offer the writer, the subject, and the reader.     

Hermanas de Corazón y Alma

Friendship is a relationship that can traverse generations or be located within a specific era of a person's life. In this article, the author examines the role that her childhood friendship played in shaping her understanding of gender, ethnicity, poverty, immigration, spirituality and family processes. This friendship was during emerging adolescence and helped the author navigate and develop mestiza consciousness. These lessons were reinforced during her graduate training and have influenced her identity as a Chicana feminist therapist and the manner in which she connects with clients in psychotherapy. After presenting the story of her friendship, the author incorporates the theoretical perspectives of Chicana Feminism and Spirita to demonstrate how this friendship has influenced her clinical work with women. Specific themes discussed are language, invisibility, and cultural formulations of gender and spirituality.     

THE ‘MEDEA FANTASY’: AN UNCONSCIOUS DETERMINANT OF PSYCHOGENIC STERILITY1

The author begins by pointing out that myths have always been powerful vehicles for the projection of ubiquitous unconscious fantasies. Having noted the importance of certain male protagonists of the Greek myths in Freud's theories, she observes that their female counterparts exert an equal fascination and suggests that the Medea myth as recounted by Euripides can be invoked to elucidate a central unconscious fantasy found to underlie the psychogenic frigidity and sterility of several of her female patients. The manifestation of this ‘Medea fantasy’ is illustrated by a clinical account in which a dream is analysed. The author next summarises the Medea story as told by Euripides and attempts a psychoanalytic interpretation of it. She draws attention to features of the ‘unconscious truth’ inherent in the myth that were shared by all the members of her group of patients. A case history then shows how the progressive understanding and working through of the Medea fantasy led to a change in the analysand's experience of femininity and enabled her to have children. It is postulated that both early infantile sexual fantasies and repressed memories of early objectrelations traumas such as maternal depression combine with ubiquitous bodily fantasies to produce the unconscious Medea fantasy.     

Awakening Resilience: Recovery Within Intimate Female Friendships

A multi-ethnic female creates her own definition of self with the help of strong female role models—women of strength. The author uses a storytelling method, characteristic Native American way of relating, as a vehicle for her narration. It is a story of transitions with challenges in relationships and new beginnings that define the woman as well as the therapist.     

Patient — heal thyself

(This is a story of a courageous woman who refused to accept the fact that her medical disease was incurable or irreversible. This paper was written about 18 months ago. Since then, the author has continued her struggles, her risk-taking searches, and her hope. -Ed.)     

Abracadabra Tongue: Poetry Magic

The author has known that poetry is magic since she was a child. However when she sat down to write about it she went blank, confronted by the taboo against magic in our rationalistic culture. In the way of Jungian magic she is helped by dream figures. The Muslim Solomon takes her on a flying carpet journey which reveals the magic of poetic influence: how Hafiz influenced Goethe influenced Lorca influenced her, which is how Persian mysticism found its way into her poetry. She tells the story of her development as a poet, how she learned fermentation magic—the difficult and often painful process required by poetic vision and revision in which grapes must be crushed, favorite phrases and metaphors must be ruthlessly smashed. The Queen of Sheba, another dream figure, shows up to tell her version of the story of her relationship with Solomon. She reveals the dark, fierce, and lusty lineage of her “old black magic” and how it has made its way into the author's poetry.     

All Life Is a Circle: Poetry and the Search for My Native American Roots

In this personal essay, which includes five poems, the author uses poetry as a vehicle to recover, connect with, and explore her Native American ancestry. Her mother, who was one-quarter Wampanoag, was raised from age seven by a couple who taught her that Native American ancestry was something to hide. The poems are interwoven with the account of the author's struggle to retrieve a family story that has been intentionally suppressed. In the first poem, the author's connection to her Native American roots is reflected purely through her interest in and reverence for the earth and its creatures, but throughout the article, the connection becomes a progressively more specific bond with a particular ancestor and his tribe. As the author draws closer to identifying her Wampanoag great-grandfather through genealogical research and reaching out to Wampanoag tribes in Massachusetts, she also draws closer to his spirit, and she writes the final poem, “Wampanoag Clambake,” in his voice.     

Medical Family Therapy for a Woman with End-stage Crohn's Disease and Her Son

Medical family therapy grew out of the experiences of family therapists working with other professionals to provide comprehensive, integrated healthcare for patients (McDaniel, Hepworth, & Doherty, 1992). This is the story of one such patient, her son, and those of us who were the three primary participants on her treatment team. To provide an account that comes closest to the experience itself, we have taken quotes from videotaped sessions and electronic mail communications that occurred throughout the course of therapy. Each provider tells part of the story in his or her own voice. The commentary is provided by Susan McDaniel.     

The Passion of the Christ: A Modern Mystery Play

In a review article the author reflects upon the recent film by Mel Gibson in the tradition of the medieval mystery play. As the biblical story of human origins begins in a garden, so too does this story of the birth of a new creation brought into being by the suffering of Jesus. With an understanding and acceptance of Jesus' unique vocation as the Christ, Mary is a central figure of spiritual empowerment to her son as he fulfills his mission.     

When I Reach the Place I'm Goin', I Will Surely Know My Way

This is a story of love and courage. As the author describes some of her most memorable experiences while traveling on the first all women's raft trip down the Grand Canyon in 1978, we learn how her love for the outdoors inspires and informs her sense of courage. She learns that courage can be gentle and "quiet" or boisterous and "noisy." She describes how the exigencies of river life require that women learn to cooperate and work together despite discord and differences, and how working together results in an increased sense of competency, self-esteem, and power.     

Reflections of a black woman practitioner-researcher

Poetry as a tool for research reflectivity is used in this article to explore the individual and personal experience of a black woman researcher-practitioner, working and studying in two white male-dominated organisations—the British Prison Service and a university institution. The discussion will trace how she reconciled her multiple identities and how these identities shaped her perception of her gender-racial group, prison culture, and university culture. An interpretive creative poem that reflects the author’s attempt at capturing the essence of her experience as a prison service employee is presented. The author then examines an excerpt from her journal alongside an in-depth qualitative interview extract and discusses her interpretive comments. The article discusses the issues related to the author’s outsider-within position, a result of her gender and racial minority status, and highlights how poetry allowed her to articulate the anxiety and tension caused by her multiple identities.     

College students' perceived risk and anxiety after reading airplane crash news

328 college students in midwest and west coast regions read one of five news stories (four airplane crash and one irrelevant) or none. They estimated the likelihood of their victimization in an airplane crash and indicated the maximum amount of time that they would be willing to spend driving in lieu of flying. Analysis showed those who read one of the airplane crash stories reported higher perceived risk of victimization than did those who read the irrelevant story or none. Reading airplane crash news was not related to the number of hours reported for driving instead of flying.     

Reconstructing Life Stories of Holocaust Survivors Through Art

This article discusses the late works of two women Holocaust survivors, Esther Nisenthal Krinitz and Ilana Ravek, as seen through the prism of the artistic reconstructing of a life story. Their life stories are expressed in works depicting their Holocaust experiences together with additional “rehabilitation” works illustrating elements such as their childhood before the Holocaust, their establishment of families afterwards, their experience of parenthood and grandparenthood, their successful resettlement in their new countries and their acquisition of a new national identity. Each of these artists' work represents a different approach to the construction of a life story. Nisenthal Krinitz's art works exemplify a linear narrative approach, displaying a sequence of events arranged chronologically in an interrelated plot at whose centre stands her Holocaust story, wrapped by works depicting her life before and afterwards. Ravek's works, which are not limited to her Holocaust experience and its ramifications, demonstrate the second approach, which requires far more active involvement on the part of the viewer. Both artists' life stories express a conflicted ambivalent consciousness, as tragic depictions coexist side by side with images of rehabilitation. The enfolding of the past in the present assists them in their reconstruction of a consecutive identity that has a past, present, and future and enables them to give meaning to their life after their survival.     

Being marked as different: The emotional politics of experiences of depression and migrant belongings

This article asks the question: “What does it mean to think about ‘home’ and ‘belonging’ when migratory experience is enmeshed with the story of depression?”. The article focuses on the personal story of a woman who migrated from the United States (US) to Australia, and whose sense of disconnection and displacement in relation to everyday life is embedded within a narrative of depression. Our discussion of her twin narratives of emotional distress and migration is located within theoretical debates about depression, migration and the constitution of subjectivity. In particular, we draw on psychoanalytical approaches to subjectivity to argue that her emotional distress and the medical diagnosis of depression together represent a form of ‘experienc[ing] oneself as a subject’ (Butler, 2005), and function as a precondition to her narrative of migration. Ultimately, we conclude, the woman's intertwined narratives of depression and migration operate simultaneously to provide retroactive order to her subjectivity.