Love and Marriage

Summary

An analysis of the conditions and qualities necessary for maintaining a long term relationship is made based on the author's observations and inquiries. Conclusions are drawn from the analysis.     

Nature of Romantic Love in Female Adolescents

In the present study, I intended to determine the similarity between Rubin's (1970) Love Scale components and five of Lee's (1976) six lovestyles in a relatively homogenous sample of 301 16- and 17-year-old British females. Items describing loving behaviors toward a particular individual were formulated to measure these lovestyles together with that of Ludus. The six orthogonal factors extracted from the correlation matrix of these and Rubin's items were called Love, Mutual Love, Respect, Similarity, Physical Attraction and Hostility. The results suggested that Rubin's Love Scale contained elements of Mania and Agape but none of Ludus, which could not be further differentiated. Rubin's (1970) Liking Scale, however, could be further subdivided into Respect (Pragma) and Similarity (Storge).     

The Break-Up Check: Exploring Romantic Love through Relationship Terminations

People who experience love often experience break-ups as well. However, philosophers of love have paid little attention to the phenomenon. Here, I address that gap by looking at the grieving process which follows unchosen relationship terminations. I ask which one is the loss that, if it were to be recovered, would stop grief or make it unwarranted. Is it the beloved, the reciprocation of love, the relationship, or all of it? By answering this question I not only provide with an insight on the nature of break-ups, but also make a specific claim about the nature of love. I argue that the object that is universally lost in all break-ups is a person with certain intrinsic qualities, who is in a relationship characterised by certain shared activities and recognized as romantic. That means that, at least in romantic terminations, the beloved and the relationship are not independent objects of grief. So, plausibly, they may not independent objects of value in love. Hence, those who state otherwise (within the property view and the relationship view) should face up to this objection coming from the study of break-ups.     

Love for a Marriage Story: The Association Between Love and Marital Satisfaction in Middle Adulthood

Journal of Child and Family Studies - The present study examined the associations between perceptions of love and marital satisfaction and gender moderations among Korean middle-aged married men...     

Love and Marriage and Other Silly Delusions

Summary

This article examines the psychodynamic patterns that (11 inevitably result in a dysfunctional relationship and divorce, and (2) those necessary understandings and prerequisites which are essential for a healthy long term relationship. These themes include: how to assure a divorce, romance as the urge to merge, the role of the Trickster, the template of the Imago, understanding Transference, the Key to Happiness, how to get unstuck and some comments on loneliness and sex. It concludes with a new understanding as to “Why get married?”     

The Monogamous Conception of Romantic Love and Western Critiques of Polygamy in African Traditions

Abstract

I critically examine how, from a Western cultural perspective of romantic love and Judeo-Christian tradition, certain liberal cultural values and prejudices are used presumptuously to criticize polygamy in African traditions. These criticisms assume, circularly, the superiority of Western cultural monogamous values over African cultural traditional practice of polygamy. I argue that these arguments are specious and particularly unreasonable from an intercultural philosophical perspective. A plausible liberal justification for Western legal imposition of monogamy is to prevent harm. I argue that if polygamy is so harmful as to warrant legal restriction based on the liberal principle of harm, such harm also exists in monogamy. The harm that is falsely associated with polygamy is not the result of polygamy per se but other factors relating to the social-cultural context of the marriage or the character of the individuals in the marriage.     

Emerging Perspectives on Distinctions Between Romantic Love and Sexual Desire

Abstract— Although sexual desire and romantic love are often experienced in concert, they are fundamentally distinct subjective experiences with distinct neurobiological substrates. The basis for these distinctions is the evolutionary origin of each type of experience. The processes underlying sexual desire evolved in the context of sexual mating, whereas the processes underlying romantic love—or pair bonding—originally evolved in the context of infant-caregiver attachment. Consequently, not only can humans experience these feelings separately, but an individual's sexual predisposition for the same sex, the other sex, or both sexes may not circumscribe his or her capacity to fall in love with partners of either gender. Also, the role of oxytocin in both love and desire may contribute to the widely observed phenomenon that women report experiencing greater interconnections between love and desire than do men. Because most research on the neurobiological substrates of sexual desire and affectional bonding has been conducted with animals, a key priority for future research is systematic investigation of the coordinated biological, behavioral, cognitive, and emotional processes that shape experiences of love and desire in humans.     

Physical Attractiveness,Romantic Love,and Equity Restoration in Dating Relationships

Measures of physical attractiveness, romantic love, and dominance were given to a sample of 123 dating couples. Contrary to expectation, attractive subjects were not loved more than those judged as less attractive. As suggested by equity theory, however, subjects who believed that their partners were the more attractive member of the dyad loved their partners more (p < .05) and indicated greater submission in their relationships (p < .01) than those who believed that they were the more attractive member. The results suggest that as the dating relationship progresses, the relative difference in attractiveness between partners may become a more important determinant of attraction than overall level of attractiveness.     

当代大学生婚恋观问卷的编制与验证

研究在文献分析、大学生访谈、专家反馈及理论建构的基础上,编制了大学生婚恋观初始问卷。研究者在50名大学生中征求了对于问卷内容的修改建议,对300名大学生实施了试测,进行了项目分析和探索性因素分析,初步确定出问卷的维度和项目。在正式测试中,将1608名大学生随机分成对等两组,分别进行了探索性和验证性因素分析。研究结果表明,大学生婚恋观问卷包含六个维度,分别为择偶条件、婚恋价值、情感需求、性爱道德、婚姻本质及夫妻地位。该问卷的六个维度与构想模型拟合较好,并具有良好的信度和效度指标,可以作为大学生婚恋观的测评工具。     

The Rub: Sexual Interplay as a Nexus of Lust,Romantic Love,and Emotional Attachment

Sexual interplay and intercourse itself involve not just an erotic impulse, but a web of mating drives that coincide and diverge. Affectionate, romantic, and companionate feelings color the sexual experience to varying degrees in conjunction with lust itself. The rhythmic cadence of each of these mating urges during sexual interplay is just as important as the orgasmic goal. The role of the “rub”—a kind of constructive friction, of healthful pushing against, of a vital opposition between self and other—creates a dynamic excitement that has hitherto been underappreciated by our focus on orgasm itself. The experience of opposing another and being opposed promotes psychic growth and change.     

Romantic Love,Altruism, and Self-Respect: An Analysis of Simone De Beauvoir

I examine Beauvoir's moral assessment of Romantic Love in The Second Sex. I first set out Beauvoir's central philosophical assumptions concerning the nature and situations of women, setting the framework for her analysis of the intersubjective dynamic which constitutes the phenomenology of romantic loving. In this process four double-bind paradoxes are generated which can lead, ultimately, to servility in the woman who loves. In a separate analysis, I ask whether it is wrong for a woman to aspire to and/or choose this form of servitude. I distinguish two kinds of considerations: (1) those having to do with the intrinsic moral nature of the commitment or decision, and (2) those based on considerations of harm: first, to the woman who loves; second, to the loved Other; third to the nature of the relationship; and fourth, to society in general.     

研究生特定群体婚恋问题研究

该文使用问卷调查法对复旦大学的298名研究生的婚恋问题进行了全面的调查,调查涉及了研究生的婚恋观、婚恋现状、依恋类型及其与婚恋满意度的关系等方面。结果发现:1)研究生的婚恋观总体上积极健康,以人品和感情为重,但存在性别差异,女生的择偶策略在整体上比男生更实际;2)研究生的婚恋现状与婚恋理想基本一致,表现了研究生在婚恋问题上朝着体现个人价值观的方向发展;3)研究生婚恋对象的学历呈现出"男找低,女不找高"的现象,"学历高导致女研究生婚恋难"的观念主要是一种社会刻板印象;4)研究生的依恋类型以积极健康的"安全依恋"为主,安全依恋的研究生恋爱和结婚的比例要大于其他类型,对婚恋关系的满意度也要高于其他类型。