Unbearable shame, splitting, and forgiveness in the resolution of vengefulness

The vengeful state of mind, the conscious psychological component of scenarios of vengefulness, is here seen as a fixation that is instigated and held in place by the workings of hidden shame dynamics, which in extreme cases transform a prodromal disorganized shame state into a relentlessly vengeful state of mind. That state of mind, since it vilifies the offender and disconnects the avenger-offender relationship from the avenger's other relationships to those in the moral and social order, is a manifestation of splitting. Shame-rage cycles, described and investigated by Lewis and her followers, are discussed: unacknowledged or bypassed shame triggers rage, of which vengefulness is one example. Psychoanalytic elaboration of Lewis's insights includes the elaboration of unconscious shame fantasies by virtue of which anticipated shame becomes unbearable. Triggering of rage by unacknowledged shame is an indication of underlying splitting. Clinical material is presented to illustrate the connection between vengeful rage and underlying shame and the resolution of splitting once the underlying shame is acknowledged and becomes bearable. Working through of the vengeful state of mind involves the resolution of splitting, often through an identification that increases the bearability of underlying shame. Forgiveness is seen as the working through of that splitting and as an important feature in the working through of vengefulness.     

Rumination: Bridging a gap between forgivingness, vengefulness, and psychological health

It was argued in the present investigation that dispositional forgiveness and vengeance would be differentially related to components of rumination, and thus the mediating role of rumination in their relations with psychological health would also vary. Male and female undergraduates (N = 183) completed questionnaires assessing predispositions toward forgiveness, vengefulness, rumination, depressive affect, and life satisfaction. Regression analyses revealed that higher forgiveness and lower vengefulness were associated with greater psychological health (lower depressive affect; higher life satisfaction). Moreover, the relations between forgiveness (but not vengefulness) and psychological health were partially mediated by the decreased propensity of high forgivers to endorse ruminative brooding. These findings suggest that, although forgiveness and vengeance may be related, their impacts on psychological health reflect distinct ruminative tendencies.     

The Role of Communicating Social Emotions Accompanying Apologies in Forgiveness

Apologies are an effective strategy used by transgressors to restore relationships with an injured party. Apologies are often motivated by emotions the transgressor feels in relation to the situation. We report the results of two studies that examined how an injured person's knowledge that an apology was driven by one or more of the social emotions of guilt, shame, and pity affected forgiveness. Findings suggest that the knowledge that guilt and/or shame motivated the apology increased forgiveness. In contrast, knowledge that pity induced the apology decreased forgiveness. These findings are consistent with the view that the communication of emotions has the social function of monitoring and shaping social relationships. We are grateful to the editor and an anonymous reviewer for their most helpful comments and suggestions to earlier versions of this paper.     

The Effect of Preemptive Forgiveness and a Transgressor's Responsibility on Shame,Motivation to Reconcile,and Repentance

The primary aim of this research was to examine the effects of an injured party's preemptive forgiveness (grudge, none, explicit, implied) on a transgressor's repentance. We also explored the moderating role of a transgressor's judgment of responsibility (low, high) and the mediating role that feelings of shame and motivation to reconcile play in the preemptive forgiveness → repentance process. The results of two experiments showed that different types of forgiveness had different effects on repentance and prosocial conduct. In Study 2, we extended these findings by examining the moderating role that judgment of responsibility plays and the mediating role that shame and motivation to reconcile plays in the preemptive forgiveness → repentance process. These experiments show that, relative to holding a grudge, no forgiveness, and explicit forgiveness, the most effective preemptive prosocial strategy was implied forgiveness, particularly when judgments of responsibility were low. In addition, a stepdown analysis suggests that the effects of forgiveness and responsibility on repentance are mediated by a transgressor's shame and motivation to reconcile.     

Toward Forgiveness: The Role of Shame,Guilt Anger,and Empathy

This research explored forgiving and its relationship to adaptive moral emotional processes: proneness to shame, guilt, anger, and empathic responsiveness. Gender differences associated with forgiving were analyzed. Participants were 138 graduate students in a large northeastern urban university. Results revealed that guilt‐proneness was positively related to Total Forgiveness, as were Empathetic Concern and Perspective Taking. A positive relationship between anger reduction and Overall Forgiveness was found. Guilt‐proneness, anger reduction, and detachment informed the process of forgiveness for women. For men, age, shame‐proneness, and pride in behavior informed the process of forgiveness. Implications and possible research are discussed.     

Embracing human fallibilty: On forgiving oneself and forgiving others

Forgiving another and forgiving oneself are both experiences that bring relief and a sense of a new beginning in life. The relationship between these two phenomena is explored through a phenomenological and hermeneutical interpretation of one person's story of reconciliation. It is argued that guilt and shame give rise to the search for forgiveness, and that in either type of forgiveness one moves into a deeper and more profound connection with one's own life as well as the lives of others.     

The social side of shame: approach versus withdrawal

ABSTRACT

At present, the consequences and functions of experiences of shame are not yet well understood. Whereas psychology literature typically portrays shame as being bad for social relations, motivating social avoidance and withdrawal, there are recent indications that shame can be reinterpreted as having clear social tendencies in the form of motivating approach and social affiliation. Yet, until now, no research has ever put these alternative interpretations of shame-motivated behaviours directly to the test. The present paper presents such a test by studying the extent to which shame motivates a preference for social withdrawal versus a preference for social approach. Two studies (N?=?148 and N?=?133) using different shame inductions both showed people experiencing shame to prefer to be together with others (social approach) over being alone (social withdrawal). In addition, the preference for a social situation was found to be unique for shame; it was not found for the closely related emotion of guilt. Taken together, these findings provide direct empirical support for the idea that shame can have positive interpersonal consequences.     

This White ‘I’: The Reciprocal Shame of Oppressor and Oppressed

Abstract

Vice’s answer to the question of this white ‘I’ who must try to live well in South Africa, configures shame, political silence and humble self-reconfiguration. I accept her insightful analysis of ‘whiteness’ in terms of the oppressor’s shame, but find that her specification of identity does not accommodate the multiplicity of privilege/oppression relations in which individuals participate. Since this implies that many South Africans, albeit unevenly, share the oppressor’s shame, her advice concerning ‘whites only’ political withdrawal seems inappropriate and curiously self-subversive. Focussing instead on her reflections concerning moral emotions in ethically-compromised selves, which should motivate self-reconfiguration, and drawing from Kristeva on ‘forgiveness’, I argue that compromised selves in privilege/oppression relations cannot reconfigure themselves independently, and should rather negotiate on-going forgiveness relationships. Further, since privileged and oppressed shoulder different but reciprocal ethical responsibilities, besides considering the privileged self who should appeal for forgiveness,¹ one must address a gap in Vice’s argument concerning the reciprocal shame of the oppressed.     

Clinical Correlates of Dispositional Forgiveness

The present study examined relationships between the variables of depression, shame, guilt, psychological maltreatment, and dispositional forgiveness. The methodology included the completion of questionnaires by 280 university and community college participants. Results indicated that all factors of dispositional forgiveness were negatively related to depression, to shame, and to all factors of psychological maltreatment. Partial correlations further revealed positive associations between guilt and dispositional forgiveness. Hierarchical multiple regression analyses demonstrated the unique contribution of psychological maltreatment to dispositional forgiveness beyond that of depression, shame, and guilt. Implications of results for clinical practice and future research are discussed.     

Forgive them for I have sinned: The relationship between guilt and forgiveness of others' transgressions

We propose that guilt leads to forgiveness of others' transgressions. In Study 1, people prone to experience guilt (but not shame) were also prone to forgive others for past misdeeds. In Study 2, we manipulated harm‐ and inequity‐based guilt; both increased forgiveness of others' transgressions. Further, the effect of guilt on forgiveness was mediated by identification with the transgressor. In Study 3, we replicated the guilt–forgiveness relationship and examined three other plausible mediators: capability for similar wrongdoing, empathic understanding, and general identification; only identification with the transgressor satisfied the criteria for mediation. In Study 4, we induced guilt by asking participants to harm a friend or stranger. Guilt induced by harming a friend led to greater forgiveness of third‐party transgressors, and again, identification with the transgressor mediated the effect. We discuss the implications of these results for understanding how the prosocial effects of guilt extend beyond the boundaries of a single interpersonal relationship.     

2. Seminars with Executives on Human Relations in the United States Government

Abstract

The feeling of shame is very difficult to recognize, to reveal, to face, and to work through. Starting with some expressions of human aggression, the authors underline the difference in treating feelings of guilt and feelings of shame. The authors detail the elaboration of shame in group psychotherapy with released prisoners of war and with war veterans and review important analytic theoretical concepts of shame, projective identification, empathy, and countertransference. They examine the importance of unlocking and identifying the silent shame, as well as the mourning process essential to working through the burden of catastrophic shame. Special counter transference problems with PTSD patients are analyzed.     

The Influence of Forgiveness on Lesbian,Gay, Bisexual,Transgender, and Questioning Individuals’ Shame and Self‐Esteem

This survey research examined relationships among self‐esteem, shame proneness, and forgiveness of self, situations, and others in a sample of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) individuals (N= 657). Findings indicate that LGBTQ self‐esteem was largely predicted by higher self‐forgiveness and lower shame proneness. Forgiveness of self, others, and situations each partially mediated the relationship between shame proneness and self‐esteem. Implications for counseling include the importance of forgiveness as a psychological mechanism to reduce LGBTQ shame and enhance self‐esteem.     

Perceived Parenting,Self‐Conscious Emotions,and Forgiveness in College Students

The relations of parental warmth, self‐conscious emotions, and forgiveness were investigated. University students completed self‐report questionnaires online through the university‐sponsored website. The questionnaires contained measures of five constructs: parental warmth, empathy, shame, self‐forgiveness, and interpersonal forgiveness. From the results, the authors concluded that interpersonal forgiveness and self‐forgiveness were predicted by parental warmth, empathy, and shame. Empathy mediated the relation of parental warmth with interpersonal forgiveness and self‐forgiveness. Parental warmth and self‐conscious emotions were important in the prediction of both interpersonal forgiveness and self‐forgiveness.     

SELF‐FORGIVENESS AND FORGIVENESS

If the notion of a victim's forgiveness encounters scepticism in today's world, more so the notion of self‐forgiveness by the offender. However, a failure to forgive oneself, when self‐forgiveness is appropriate, may be detrimental to one's moral and psychological well‐being. Self‐forgiveness is called for when guilt, self‐hatred and shame reach high levels. Further, a third party's assurance that the offence is forgivable may contribute considerably to the completion of the self‐forgiveness process. This article explores the notion of forgiveness of self and compares it with the notion of forgiveness of others. In addition, guilt and shame, right and wrong, repentance and dealing with the consequences of harmful actions are examined in the context of self‐forgiveness.     

“They suffer mainly from reminiscences”

Shame is a universal affect that everyone would like to avoid. Responses to trauma include profound experiences of shame, which re-emerge in the transference and can be recognized in reciprocal countertransference responses. Primitive defense mechanisms associated with borderline states such as projection, projective identification and splitting, are often encountered during the course of intensive psychotherapies involving traumatic shame. Attempts to avoid shame reactions may involve regressive reactions, even in non-borderline individuals. Shame avoidance may produce transference-countertransference enactments leading to a negative therapeutic reaction. Addressing shame-related issues may be difficult for both therapist and patient, but ultimately are essential for productive therapy and recovery from trauma.     

The Marikana Violence in South Africa: A Brief Psychodynamic Extrapolation

This study applies psychoanalytic concepts in making sense of the individual, group and collective factors that may have contributed towards the Marikana violence. Speculatively, individual factors might include the death instinct, repetition compulsion, and intra-psychic splitting. Related group dynamics such as identification with the aggressor, group and projective identification might be relevant as would the collective psychological influences of history of oppression, severe trans-generational traumatisation, and mystical cultural interpretations in a divided society. Further public truth, reconciliation and forgiveness processes in addition to other integrative forms of healing are proposed.     

Forgive and Forget? Antecedents and Consequences of Intergroup Forgiveness in Bosnia and Herzegovina

The present study examines the effects of contact and common-ingroup identification on intergroup forgiveness and outgroup behavioral tendencies. A sample of Bosnian Muslims (N  =  180) were asked to report their readiness to forgive the misdeeds committed by Bosnian Serbs during the 1992–95 war in Bosnia and Herzegovina. A path analysis of the presumed antecedents and consequences of forgiveness revealed that frequent and good quality contact with members from the perpetrator group predicted forgiveness (positively) and desire for social distance (negatively). Moreover, the positive relationship between contact and forgiveness was mediated by empathy and trust towards the outgroup and by perceived outgroup heterogeneity. Common-ingroup identification was also found to be positively associated with forgiveness and negatively with social distance towards the outgroup. Finally, intergroup forgiveness also predicted social distance from the outgroup. The theoretical and applied implications of these findings are discussed.     

Response to DiNunno's “Long-Term Group Psychotherapy for Women Who Are Survivors of Childhood Abuse”

Trauma impels people both to withdraw from close relationships and to seek them desperately. The profound disruption in basic trust, the common feelings of shame, guilt, and inferiority, and the need to avoid reminders of the trauma that might be found in social life, all foster withdrawal from close relationships. But the terror of the traumatic event intensifies the need for protective attachments. The traumatized person therefore frequently alternates between isolation and anxious clinging to others [Herman, 1992, p. 56].     

Impact of religious affiliation and religiosity on forgiveness

The aim of the present study was to investigate the link between religiosity and forgiveness among Christian, Muslim, Jewish and secular affiliations. Measures of forgiveness included attitudes towards forgiveness (attitudinal) and tendencies to forgive transgressions in the past (behavioural) and future (projective). Religious faith, interpretation, prayer and religious service attendance were used to measure religiosity. Four hundred and seventy‐five Christian, Muslim, Jewish and secular individuals participated and completed an internet‐based questionnaire. This study found religiosity positively correlated with forgiveness. Religious groups reported significantly higher attitudinal and projective forgiveness than the secular group. Among religious groups, religiosity was a stronger determinant of forgiveness than the specific religion an individual was affiliated with. These findings suggested that faith is the strongest religiosity predictor of forgiveness.     

Social Identity and Social Exchange: Identification, Support, and Withdrawal From the Job

Integrating insights from the social exchange perspective and the social identity perspective, we propose that evaluations of support received from the organization and its representatives and organizational identification interact to predict withdrawal from the job. The relationship of support with withdrawal is proposed to be weaker the more strongly employees identify with the organization. This prediction was confirmed in 2 samples focusing on different operationalizations of support and withdrawal. Study 1 explored the interaction between organizational support and organizational identification in predicting turnover intention; Study 2 investigated the link between supervisor support and organizational identification and absenteeism. The present study thus yields evidence that may lay the groundwork for further integration of social exchange and social identity analyses of organizational behavior.