Controlled by Love: The Harmful Relational Consequences of Perceived Conditional Positive Regard

Research on conditional positive regard (CPR) has shown that this seemingly benign practice has maladaptive correlates when used by parents. However, there is no research on the correlates of this practice in romantic relationships or on the processes mediating its effects. Building on self‐determination theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000 ), three studies tested the hypothesis that perceived CPR impairs relationship quality, partly because it undermines the fulfillment of the basic psychological needs for autonomy and relatedness. Study 1 (N = 125) examined perceived CPR and relationship quality across four relationship targets: mother, father, romantic partner, and best friend. Study 2, involving romantic partners (N = 142), examined whether needs fulfillment mediated the association between perceived CPR and relationship quality. Study 3, involving romantic dyads (N = 85), also included partner reports on CPR. Across the three studies, CPR was linked with poor relationship quality between relationships, between people, and between dyadic partners. Moreover, results of Study 2 and Study 3 revealed that the inverse association between perceived CPR and relationship quality was mediated by dissatisfaction of autonomy but not relatedness. Despite its seemingly benign nature, CPR is detrimental to relationship quality, partly because it thwarts the basic need for autonomy.     

In Our Lives and Under Our Skin: An Investigation of Specific Psychobiological Mediators Linking Family Relationships and Health Using the Biobehavioral Family Model

The objective of this study was to use the Biobehavioral Family Model (BBFM) to delineate which psychophysiological variables link romantic and family relationship satisfaction variables to health outcomes. Data from individuals who reported being partnered from the second wave of the National Survey of Midlife Development in the United States (MIDUS II), Project 4 (n = 812) were used to test a structural equation model which explored which psychophysiological variables potentially mediated associations between positive and negative family emotional climate variables and disease activity. This model found that current and past family variables had larger associations with the psychophysiological variables than romantic partner variables; depressive symptoms, anxiety, and inflammation partially mediated associations between family relationships and health; and, contrary to the hypotheses, romantic partner and family support were linked to worse health outcomes. However, the findings should be viewed with regard to the cross‐sectional design of the study. Overall, the findings support the use of the BBFM as a model that can guide clinical interventions.     

情绪分享和感知恋人回应对亲密关系满意度的影响

研究通过问卷星收集了150对异性恋情侣的情绪分享、感知恋人回应、亲密关系满意度的数据,并采用行动者-对象互依模型进行统计分析。结果显示：（1）情绪分享通过感知恋人回应的中介作用影响亲密关系满意度。女性的积极情绪分享与男性的消极情绪分享直接正向影响自身亲密关系满意度。（2）男性的积极情绪分享正向影响女性的亲密关系满意度。研究揭示了亲密关系中情绪分享和感知恋人回应对关系满意度的影响特点。     

Collaborative communication efficiency is linked to relationship satisfaction in dating couples

The speed, or efficiency, in which people communicate is linked to positive interpersonal outcomes. However, no studies of communication efficiency have examined romantic partners, making it unclear whether efficient communication is linked to relationship satisfaction above and beyond previously identified communication skills (e.g., problem‐solving). We recruited dating couples (N = 56) to attend a laboratory session to complete survey measures and a collaborative communication task. Multilevel models demonstrated that both task efficiency (β = ?.36, p = .04) and self‐reported problem‐solving communication skills (β = .28, p = .002) were associated with relationship satisfaction. Results suggest that communication task efficiency can be meaningfully applied to the study of romantic relationships and couple communication skills.     

Love styles,coping, and relationship satisfaction: A dyadic approach

Romantic partners have different attitudes on what love is and what it means to be in a romantic relationship. These attitudes are conceptualized as love styles that relate to relationship‐maintenance behaviors and relationship satisfaction. Specifically, love styles could be associated with how partners cope with stress (dyadic coping), which in turn may be associated with relationship satisfaction. Using self‐report data from 92 heterosexual couples, findings showed that: (a) eros and agape love styles have positive direct effects on dyadic coping and relationship satisfaction, whereas ludus has a negative direct effect on dyadic coping and relationship satisfaction and (b) dyadic coping partially mediated the association between love styles and relationship satisfaction. Overall, associations were stronger for women than for men.     

From bad to worse: Relationship commitment and vulnerability to partner imperfections

Having a satisfying romantic relationship is not always feasible, particularly as one discovers less‐than‐perfect partner characteristics. It is suggested that less committed couple members are more vulnerable to negative partner characteristics than are highly committed couple members. Forty‐one dating couples individually indicated their commitment level, were randomly assigned to receive positive‐ or negative‐false feedback about the partner’s personality, and indicated their postmanipulation satisfaction and uncertainty levels. Negative partner feedback affected the satisfaction of less committed but not highly committed individuals. Feeling uncertain about the relationship mediated less committed couple members’ increased vulnerability to negative partner information. The association between uncertainty and commitment was curvilinear and stronger under conditions of relationship threat. Self‐esteem did not predict responses to threat.     

Parental conditional regard as a predictor of deficiencies in young children's capacities to respond to sad feelings

This study explored the relationship between parents' use of conditional regard (PCR, Assor, Roth, & Deci, 2004; Roth, 2008) to promote suppression of sad feelings and the following emotional skills in young children: (1) recognition of sadness in facial expressions, (2) awareness of sad feelings in oneself, and (3) empathic response to others' sad feelings. The study distinguished between two PCR components: conditional negative regard (similar to love withdrawal) and conditional positive regard. Emotion‐focused interviews were conducted with 102 children aged 5–6 years, and their parents completed questionnaires assessing parents' use of conditional regard. As expected, both PCR components correlated negatively with the emotional skills. Regression analyses showed that the seemingly benign practice of conditional positive regard had unique negative associations with the three emotional skills also when effects of negative PCR were controlled. Copyright © 2010 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

The role of romantic attachment and self‐criticism and dependency for the relationship satisfaction of community adults

This article aims to investigate the role of romantic attachment versus the personality dimensions related to self‐definition and relatedness for relationship satisfaction. Self‐report instruments measuring romantic attachment, self‐criticism and dependency, severity of depression, negative life events and relationship satisfaction were administrated to 266 community adults. As expected, results showed that secure romantic attachment was positively and insecure romantic attachment was negatively associated with relationship satisfaction, and this was the case even when controlling for self‐criticism and dependency, severity of depression and negative life events. Implications of these findings for couple therapy are discussed.     

The adversity of secret relationships

Are secret romantic relationships alluring or aversive? Previous research suggests that romantic secrecy (i.e., keeping a romantic relationship secret from others) creates a cognitive preoccupation that enhances romantic attraction. In contrast, we predicted that romantic secrecy interferes with relationship interdependence and thereby decreases relationship quality. Three studies of secrecy in ongoing romantic relationships confirmed this prediction. In Study 1, romantic secrecy predicted lower levels of initial relationship quality and decreased relationship quality over a 2‐week period. In Study 2, relationship burden mediated partially the negative association between romantic secrecy and relationship quality. In Study 3, the negative association between romantic secrecy and relationship quality was primarily explained by decreased relationship satisfaction. The importance of understanding romantic secrecy is discussed.     

Minority Stress and Same‐Sex Relationship Satisfaction: The Role of Concealment Motivation

Most lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) people want a stable, satisfying romantic relationship. Although many of the predictors of relationship outcomes are similar to those of heterosexual couples, same‐sex couples face some additional challenges associated with minority stress that also impact upon relationship quality. Here, we investigate the association between minority stressors and relationship quality in a sample of 363 adults (M age = 30.37, SD = 10.78) currently in a same‐sex romantic relationship. Internalized homophobia and difficulties accepting one's LGB identity were each negatively associated with relationship satisfaction via heightened concealment motivation. We also examined the protective role of identity affirmation on relationship quality, finding a direct positive relationship between the two variables. Minority stressors were negatively associated with couple relationship satisfaction via heightened concealment motivation. The finding that identity affirmation directly predicted increased couple satisfaction also highlights the important role of protective factors in same‐sex couple relationships.     

Mindful Mates: A Pilot Study of the Relational Effects of Mindfulness‐Based Stress Reduction on Participants and Their Partners

Very little is currently known about how increases in dispositional mindfulness through mindfulness training affect the quality of participants’ romantic relationships, and no previous studies have examined how increases in specific facets of mindfulness differentially contribute to relationship health. Additionally, even less is known about how an individual's development of mindfulness skills affects the relationship satisfaction of his or her romantic partner. Thus, the purpose of this pilot study was to examine associations between changes in facets of mindfulness and relationship satisfaction among participants enrolled in a Mindfulness‐Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course and their nonenrolled romantic partners. Twenty MBSR participants and their nonenrolled partners (n = 40) completed measures of mindfulness and relationship satisfaction pre‐ and post‐enrolled partners’ completion of an MBSR course. Results indicated that enrolled participants significantly improved on all facets of mindfulness and relationship satisfaction, while nonenrolled partners did not significantly increase on any facet of mindfulness or relationship satisfaction. Moreover, enrolled participants’ increases in Acting with Awareness were positively associated with increases in their own and their nonenrolled partners’ relationship satisfaction, whereas increases in enrolled participants’ Nonreactivity were positively associated with increases in their nonenrolled partners’ (but not their own) relationship satisfaction. These results suggest that increasing levels of mindfulness (particularly specific aspects of mindfulness) may have positive effects on couples’ relationship satisfaction and highlight mindfulness training as a promising tool for education and intervention efforts aimed at promoting relational health.     

The Blues of Adolescent Romance: Observed Affective Interactions in Adolescent Romantic Relationships Associated with Depressive Symptoms

We examined the associations between observed expressions of positive and negative emotions during conflict discussions and depressive symptoms during a 2-year period in a sample of 160 adolescents in 80 romantic relationships (M age?=?15.48, SD?=?1.16). Conflict discussions were coded using the 10-code Specific Affect Coding System. Depressive symptoms were assessed at the time of the observed conflict discussions (Time 1) and 2 years later (Time 2). Data were analyzed using actor–partner interdependence models. Girls’ expression of both positive and negative emotions at T1 was related to their own depressive symptoms at T2 (actor effect). Boys’ positive emotions and negative emotions (actor effect) and girls’ negative emotions (partner effect) were related to boys’ depressive symptoms at T2. Contrary to expectation, relationship break-up and relationship satisfaction were unrelated to changes in depressive symptoms or expression of negative or positive emotion during conflict discussion. These findings underscore the unique quality of adolescent romantic relationships and suggest new directions in the study of the link between mental health and romantic involvement in adolescence.     

Individual and dyadic associations among relational self‐expansion potential,affect, and perceived health

A growing body of literature suggests that specific markers of relationship quality are meaningfully linked to health outcomes. We tested whether relational self‐expansion potential might be one of these markers in cross‐sectional samples of individuals and romantic couples. Study 1 found that greater self‐expansion potential was linked to better perceived physical health via both higher positive affect (PA) and lower negative affect (NA). Study 2 replicated these findings for PA (but not NA) and revealed both actor and partner effects of self‐expansion potential. Results remained robust when statistically accounting for gender, age, body mass index, agreeableness, neuroticism, and perceived partner responsiveness. These findings identify a new relationship‐level “active ingredient” associated with health and have implications for future physical health studies.     

It is for you,or it is for me: How relationship dependence affects gift image consistency in romantic relationships

Recently, consumer behavior research has been focusing on decision‐making in relationships. This research considers an important context, romantic gift giving, in which givers choose gifts that are perceptually consistent with both their own self‐image and the recipients' self‐image. Based on interdependence theory, we investigate how the relationship dependence between romantic couples can affect gift image consistency. According to the results, the giver's level of dependence plays a positive role in the consistency between the recipient's self‐image and the gift image (gift‐recipient consistency) and plays a negative role in the consistency between the giver's self‐image and the gift image (gift‐giver consistency). The mutuality of dependence could strengthen or weaken the effect of the giver's level of dependence on gift image consistency, and this effect is carried through the giver's relationship power.     

Facilitativeness,conflict, demand for approval,self-esteem,and satisfaction with romantic relationships

This study is an examination of the extent to which satisfaction with a main current romantic relationship is associated with negative conflict, demand for approval, self-esteem, and the 3 facilitative conditions of unconditional regard, empathy, and congruence. One or more of these conditions have been proposed as important determinants of relationship satisfaction by various relationship-enhancement approaches such as behavioral marital therapy and cognitive-behavioral marital therapy. College students (86 women and 58 men) completed S. S. Hendrick's (1988) Relationship Satisfaction Scale, a measure of negative conflict formulated by the author, R. G. Jones's (1969) Demand for Approval Scale (modified for a particular relationship), M. Rosenberg's (1965) Self-Esteem Scale, and a shortened modified version of G. T. Barrett-Lennard's (1964) Relationship Inventory. Relationship satisfaction was most strongly related to the level of regard and empathy, which is consistent with approaches to relationships that emphasize empathy training.     

Emotion and underlying concerns during couples' conflict: An investigation of within‐person change

This study investigated how emotion changes within persons across different episodes of romantic relationship conflict. Presumably, changes in different types of emotion are linked to changes in the types of underlying adaptive concerns people have during conflict, which in turn are linked to changes in the types of emotion that one's partner is perceived to express. Over the span of 8 weeks, 105 college students in romantic relationships completed between 2 and 5 online assessments of a recent relationship conflict. Hierarchical linear modeling was used to distinguish within‐person effects from between‐person effects. Results confirmed expected differences between types of emotion and types of underlying concern, indicated that most effects occur at the within‐person level, and identified mediating pathways.     

Deployment‐Related Benefit Finding and Postdeployment Marital Satisfaction in Military Couples

Extensive research has evaluated potential negative effects of military deployments on romantic relationships. Comparatively few studies have examined potential positive effects of such deployments. In stressful situations, benefit finding (BF) has been found to be linked with better functioning on both individual and interpersonal levels. This study reports on deployment‐related BF in a sample of 67 male service members (SMs) who deployed at least once since 9/11/2001 and their wives. Couples completed measures of marital satisfaction at baseline (an average of 1 year postdeployment) and follow‐up 4–6 months later. At follow‐up, SMs also provided data on symptoms of posttraumatic stress, and both partners provided reports of deployment‐related BF. Multivariate path analysis controlling for SMs' PTSD symptom severity revealed that wives' BF was positively associated with increases in SMs' relationship satisfaction. These findings suggest that wives' responses to deployment may be more influential than SMs' responses to deployment on military couples' relationships. This pattern indicates that support for spouses during deployments is essential; furthermore, such support should include an emphasis on trying to facilitate personal growth in spouses.     

科技侵扰与恋爱关系满意度:有调节的中介效应

采用问卷法对454名处于亲密恋爱关系中的未婚个体进行调查,考察了沟通质量在科技侵扰与亲密关系满意度之间的中介效应,及信任对这一中介过程的调节效应。结果表明：(1)科技侵扰对亲密关系满意度具有显著负向预测作用;(2)沟通质量在科技侵扰与亲密关系满意度之间起中介作用;(3)科技侵扰通过沟通质量对亲密关系满意度的中介受到信任的调节,具体来说,个体对伴侣信任水平较高时,将减弱沟通质量变差对亲密关系满意度的破坏作用。本研究在新的时代背景下探究智能手机使用在亲密互动中的影响及其中的机制和边界条件。研究结果提示,科技侵扰可以通过破坏沟通质量影响恋爱个体的亲密关系满意度,且在此过程中信任可以缓冲沟通质量变差对亲密关系的影响。     

Psychophysiological Synchrony During Verbal Interaction in Romantic Relationships

Previous studies about romantic relationships have shown that the reciprocal influence between partners occurs not only at the behavioral and socio‐emotional levels, but also at the psychophysiological level. This reciprocal influence is expressed in a pattern of physiological synchrony between partners (i.e., coordinated dynamics of the physiological time series). The main aim of the present study was to explore the presence of a pattern of physiological synchrony in electrodermal activity (EDA) during a couple interaction task. A second objective was to compare the synchrony levels during a negative interaction condition versus a positive interaction condition. Finally, we analyzed the association between synchrony and self‐perception of empathy, dyadic empathy, and relationship satisfaction. Thirty‐two couples (64 individuals) participated in this study. Each couple performed a structured interaction task while the EDA of both partners was being registered. The quantification of synchrony was based on the cross‐correlation of both members' EDA time‐series. In order to control for coincidental synchrony, surrogate datasets were created by repeatedly shuffling the original data of spouses X and Y of a dyad and computing synchronies on the basis of the shuffled data (pseudosynchrony values). Our results confirmed the presence of significant EDA synchrony during the interaction. We also found that synchrony was higher during the negative interactions relative to the positive interactions. Additionally, physiological synchrony during positive interaction was higher for those couples in which males scored higher in dyadic empathy. The clinical implications of these findings are discussed.