Avengees' perspectives on revenge: Commitment as a predictor and relationship type differences

This study investigated how people respond emotionally to and make sense of the experience of being on the receiving end of an angry relationship partner's attempted revenge. Using an interdependence theory framework, we tested hypotheses concerning the role of commitment and investigated differences due to relationship type. We asked participants (N = 439) if they had experienced revenge at the hands of either a romantic partner, family member, or associate. Among those who had (N = 254), we found support for hypotheses linking commitment with avengees' affective and evaluative responses to being the target of revenge, but little evidence that these associations vary by relationship type. Possible routes by which commitment may influence people's experiences as avengees are discussed.     

Predicting appraisals of romantic revenge: The roles of Honesty-Humility, Agreeableness, and vengefulness

This study examined whether personality factors are associated with people’s appraisals of the costs and benefits of romantic revenge. Our goal was to extend our understanding of variables that influence individuals’ decisions to get even with romantic partners. Undergraduates (N = 130) completed the HEXACO personality inventory, the Vengeance Scale, and questionnaires examining people’s beliefs about revenge in romantic relationships. Honesty-Humility predicted individuals’ judgments of revenge as more desirable when appraising its benefits and less undesirable when appraising its costs, whereas Agreeableness only predicted benefit appraisals. Furthermore, vengefulness predicted individuals’ scores on the benefits- and costs-appraisal indices controlling for Honesty-Humility and Agreeableness. These findings provide a first step towards determining whether certain people may be quicker than others to see the benefits of romantic revenge while minimizing its costs.     

Pluralistic ignorance in revenge attitudes and behavior in interpersonal relationships

We investigated whether people's perceptions of social norms concerning interpersonal revenge reflect a tendency for individuals to believe that others' revenge attitudes and behavior differ from their own (i.e., pluralistic ignorance). As part of a survey on revenge experiences in relationships with romantic partners, family members, and associates (e.g., friends), participants (N = 534) judged the acceptability and frequency of revenge in significant personal relationships. As expected, participants believed that others (a) saw revenge as more acceptable and (b) engaged in revenge more frequently than they did themselves. They did not, however, perceive others' revenge attitudes and behaviors to be any more variable than their own attitudes and behaviors actually were. Explanations for and implications of these findings are discussed.     

Controlled by Love: The Harmful Relational Consequences of Perceived Conditional Positive Regard

Research on conditional positive regard (CPR) has shown that this seemingly benign practice has maladaptive correlates when used by parents. However, there is no research on the correlates of this practice in romantic relationships or on the processes mediating its effects. Building on self‐determination theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000 ), three studies tested the hypothesis that perceived CPR impairs relationship quality, partly because it undermines the fulfillment of the basic psychological needs for autonomy and relatedness. Study 1 (N = 125) examined perceived CPR and relationship quality across four relationship targets: mother, father, romantic partner, and best friend. Study 2, involving romantic partners (N = 142), examined whether needs fulfillment mediated the association between perceived CPR and relationship quality. Study 3, involving romantic dyads (N = 85), also included partner reports on CPR. Across the three studies, CPR was linked with poor relationship quality between relationships, between people, and between dyadic partners. Moreover, results of Study 2 and Study 3 revealed that the inverse association between perceived CPR and relationship quality was mediated by dissatisfaction of autonomy but not relatedness. Despite its seemingly benign nature, CPR is detrimental to relationship quality, partly because it thwarts the basic need for autonomy.     

When does performance feedback prompt complementarity in romantic relationships?

Two studies addressed five issues concerning complementarity in romantic relationships and suggest that complementarity deserves a new look. Dating couples (N= 28 couples) and married couples (N= 43). were given performance feedback to assess effects on self and perceived partner relevance. We found that comparison with a partner but not comparison with a stranger prompted complementarity (Study 1). Comparison resulted in complementarity and did not merely change self‐image (Studies 1 and 2). Both outperforming the partner and being outperformed by the partner can prompt complementarity (Study 2). Ceding areas to the partner in response to being outperformed was relatively automatic (Study 2). And, degree of development in the relationship influenced response to comparison‐feedback (Studies 1 and 2). Findings suggest that partners in romantic relationships automatically protect their views of the relationship as a “team” by increasing “perceived complementarity” in response to differential performance feedback.     

Romantic revenge and the Dark Triad: A model of impellance and inhibition

Based on I³ theory, the present study investigated a model in which the Dark Triad of personality traits (Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy) influence the rated likelihood of engaging in revenge against a romantic partner. We presented participants with a hypothetical act of infidelity, hypothesizing that the Dark Triad would relate positively to factors that could impel revenge (perceptions of revenge effectiveness and endorsement of goals related to power and justice) and negatively to factors that could inhibit revenge (perceptions of revenge costliness and endorsement of goals related to relationship maintenance). Although the Dark Triad bore substantial indirect relationships to the rated likelihood of taking revenge through our postulated impelling factors, our hypothesized inhibiting factors did not substantially inhibit revenge. Implications of these findings are discussed.     

Situational precursors of revenge: Social exclusion,relationship type,and opportunity

Little is known about the situational factors that turn feelings of revenge into actual acts of revenge. Addressing this gap in the literature, this study selected a representative sample of people who acted on their feelings of revenge (avengers) and of people who did not (nonavengers), obtaining a reflection of typical antecedents of revenge. Results revealed that avengers did not report more severe offenses. Neither did avengers report less closeness to offenders nor a larger number of audience members toward whom they might want to prove something. Results did reveal that revenge was more prevalent (a) among young, male friends and acquaintances; (b) in contexts involving social exclusion; and (c) if there was a possibility to take revenge.     

Performance comparisons and attachment: An investigation of competitive responses in close relationships

Two studies investigated whether affective responses to competitive performance situations are moderated by attachment style. In Study 1, participants (n= 115) imagined their reactions to a superior or inferior performance against their romantic partner or an acquaintance. Results showed that participants low in attachment avoidance, relative to those high in avoidance, indicated more positivity after an inferior performance (empathy effect) to their partners, and this finding held only in domains of high importance to the partner. In Study 2, participants (n= 53) imagined comparisons with their partner or a close friend. Low‐avoidance participants, relative to high‐avoidance participants, exhibited sympathy and empathy effects in comparisons involving their romantic partner but not those involving a friend. The findings are discussed in terms of one's model of other and perceived self–other separation, which are defined by avoidance but not anxiety.     

Expecting tasks to help or hurt subsequent cognitive performance: Variability,accuracy, and bias in forecasted after-effects

After-effects on cognition—where a prior activity either benefits or hinders subsequent cognitive performance—are empirically inconsistent. Do people have insight into when their subjective energy and cognition will be helped or hurt by engaging in prior activities? Studies 1a and 1b (combined N  =  316) find that people expect more demanding and unenjoyable tasks to hinder their subsequent energy and cognitive performance, regardless of their willpower lay theory. Study 2 (N  =  167) examines the accuracy of these forecasts using a within-subject design. Participants’ forecasts of their future subjective states did predict their actual experienced subjective states, but participants were not able to accurately forecast their subsequent maths performance. Additionally, they significantly overestimated the detrimental effects of demanding prior activities on both subjective state and performance. Study 3 (N  =  210) found that participants’ overestimation of detrimental after-effects could result in unnecessary financial costs, suggesting these biased forecasts can have consequences.     

Tailoring emotions in romantic relationships: A person-centered approach

Adapting the concept of emotional labor to romantic relationships, we examined how people tailor their emotions based on beliefs about partner expectations. Participants (N = 521) completed measures of faking one’s felt emotions (surface acting) and attempting to change felt emotions (deep acting) in response to four contexts. Using latent profile analysis, we identified five profiles (non-actors, deep-actors, moderates, actors, and extreme regulators), and evaluated how profile membership corresponded to relationship quality, self-esteem, and general emotional regulation tendencies. Relationship quality was higher among deep actors and non-actors compared with actors and extreme regulators. Although people may benefit from deep acting, the co-occurrence of surface acting appears to maximize the costs and minimize the benefits of deep acting in romantic relationships.     

A Test of Positive Illusions Versus Shared Reality Models of Relationship Satisfaction Among Gay, Lesbian, and Heterosexual Couples

According to the positive illusions model ( Murray, Holmes, & Griffin, 1996a ), people in romantic relationships are more satisfied when they view their partners more favorably than the partners see themselves. By contrast, shared reality theory ( Hardin & Conley, 2001 ) emphasizes the benefits of perceiving a partner as the partner sees himself or herself. We analyzed archived data from the American Couples Study ( Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983 ) to test the applicability of the positive illusions model to gay and lesbian relationships. Structural equation models demonstrated that the positive illusions model effectively explains relationships among lesbian, gay, heterosexual cohabitating, and married couples.     

Pluralistic ignorance and misperception of social norms concerning cheating in dating relationships

Two studies tested the hypothesis that beliefs about infidelity in dating relationships reflect pluralistic ignorance, a misperception in which people mistakenly believe that their own personal attitudes and behavior differ from others' when they do not. Consistent with pluralistic ignorance findings in other domains, undergraduates reported that the average university student (a) saw dating infidelity as more acceptable and (b) engaged in unfaithful acts more frequently than they themselves did. Neither type of infidelity (sexual, emotional, both sexual and emotional, or unspecified; Study 1, N = 176) nor motivated reasoning (i.e., defensiveness; Study 2, N = 359) moderated this pattern of results. Possible sources of misperceived norms concerning fidelity in dating relationships and the implications of such misperceptions are discussed.     

Perceived benefits and costs of romantic relationships for women and men: Implications for exchange theory

This investigation examined the perceived benefits and costs of romantic (i.e., reciprocal dating) relationships. In Study 1, subjects provided open-ended reports regarding the benefits and costs associated with romantic involvement. Different groups of subjects ranked (Study 2) and rated (Study 3) these benefits and costs for importance. Companionship, happiness, and feeling loved or loving another were among the most important benefits accompanying romantic involvement. The most serious costs included stress and worry about the relationship, social and nonsocial sacrifices, and increased dependence on the partner. Compared to males, females regarded intimacy, self-growth, self-understanding, and positive self-esteem as more important benefits, and regarded loss of identity and innocence about relationships and love as more important costs Alternatively, males regarded sexual gratification as a more important benefit, and monetary losses as a more serious cost than did females Implications for exchange theory are highlighted.     

Watching over your own: How surveillance moderates the impact of shared identity on perceptions of leaders and follower behaviour

In two studies we investigate how level of surveillance moderates followers' responses to leaders with whom they either do or do not share identity. Study 1 (N = 80) demonstrated that imposing high surveillance where identity is shared with a leader undermined perceptions of the leader as a team member, reducing levels to that of leaders without a shared identity. Study 2 (N = 84) replicated this finding, also demonstrating that willingness to work for the group declined when leaders with shared identity used high surveillance (compared to a low surveillance condition). This process was partially explained by perceptions that surveillance was an invasion of privacy. Together, these studies illustrate that the benefits of shared identity are easily undermined when a leader uses surveillance in a context where it is unnecessary. Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

The complementarity of humility hypothesis: Individual,relational, and physiological effects of mutually humble partners

Abstract

We report two studies of romantic couples that examine the interactive effects of actor and partner humility on individual, relational, and physiological well-being. Using both longitudinal (Study 1) and physiological (Study 2) methods from two samples of romantic couples, we explored the interactive effects of actor and partner humility. Individuals in dyads with complementary high humility reported better mental health over time following a major life transition, the birth of their first child, in Study 1 and higher relationship satisfaction and lower physiological responses (i.e. blood pressure) following the discussion of a topic of disagreement in Study 2. These results suggest that being humble is beneficial when one has a humble partner, but being arrogant – especially within a disagreement with one’s partner – could undermine the benefits of humility. That is, the benefits of humility are greatest in dyads in which both partners are humble.     

Communication with former romantic partners and current relationship outcomes among college students

This research investigates individual and contextual differences underlying postdissolution friendships by considering communication with former romantic partners among individuals in new romantic relationships. Two studies demonstrate the prevalence, determinants, and implications of former partner communication for the current relationship. Study 1 showed that approximately 40% of individuals in relationships communicate with a former partner and highlighted differences between those who communicate and those who do not. Study 2 factor analyzed reasons why people communicate with former partners and examined how the reasons are differentially associated with current relationship functioning. In general, results support the notion that under certain circumstances and for certain individuals, communication with former partners can have deleterious influences on one's current relationship.     

Feeling bad about progress does not lead people want to change their health behaviour

Objective: When do people decide to do something about problematic health behaviours? Theoretical models and pragmatic considerations suggest that people should take action when they feel bad about their progress – in other words, when they experience negative progress-related affect. However, the impact of progress-related affect on goal striving has rarely been investigated.

Design and Methods: Study 1 (N = 744) adopted a cross-sectional design and examined the extent to which measures of progress-related affect were correlated with intentions to take action. Study 2 (N = 409) investigated the impact of manipulating progress-related affect on intentions and behaviour in an experimental design.

Results: Study 1 found that, while engaging in health behaviours had the expected affective consequences (e.g. people felt bad when they were not eating healthily, exercising regularly or limiting their alcohol consumption), it was feeling good rather than bad about progress that was associated with stronger intentions. Study 2 replicated these findings. Participants induced to feel good about their eating behaviour had marginally stronger intentions to eat healthily than participants led to feel bad about their eating behaviour.

Conclusion: The findings have implications for interventions designed to promote changes in health behaviour, as well as theoretical frameworks for understanding self-regulation.     

Behavior expectations in cross‐sex friendships,same‐sex friendships,and romantic relationships

Abstract In 2 studies, university students from the United States rated the importance of 43 behavior expectations about their cross‐sex friends, same‐sex friends and romantic partners. In Study 1, all 399 participants had a current romantic partner, whereas in Study 2, romantic partner status varied across the 165 participants. Participants always rated their expectations for romantic partners higher than for either type of friend, and expectations for behaviors promoting emotional closeness were always rated higher than expectations about behaviors promoting social companionship or relationship positivity. In Study 2, expectations for cross‐sex friends were rated lower and more similar to same‐sex friends when participants had a current romantic partner than when they did not.