Intentional Forgiving as a Counseling Intervention

Forgiveness has been represented in counseling literature as an effective means of promoting personal and relational development. Despite this, a concise set of guidelines to direct counselors in the use of forgiveness has yet to be proposed. The author presents theological and counseling understandings of forgiveness and delineates contexts in which counselors have promoted forgiveness in clients. Drawing on the increasing base of counseling-related literature concerning the importance of forgiveness, the author defines and proposes guidelines for a counseling approach called “intentional forgiving,” an intervention in which clients are directed to forgive someone who has wounded them.     

The Varieties of Forgiveness Experience: Working toward a Comprehensive Definition of Forgiveness

The definition of forgiveness was explored in a group of 270 young adults, and the underlying dimensions of their definitions compared with those of philosophers, theologians and psychological researchers. Three dimensions were identified: orientation (self, other), direction (passive letting go of negative experiences, active enhancement of positive experiences) and form (emotion, cognition and behavior). Definitions employing a passive letting go of negative experiences were associated with more state forgiveness. Gender differences were found in state forgiveness and in the employment of passive vs. active dimensions of forgiveness. Dr. Kathleen A. Lawler-Row is Professor of Psychology at East Carolina University. Her work focuses on the physiological and health correlates of forgiveness. Correspondence to Dr. K. A. Lawler-Row, e-mail: rowk@ecu.edu. Cynthia Scott and Meirav Edlis-Matityahou are graduate students in the Experimental and Counseling (respectively) programs at the University of Tennessee. Rachel Raines and Erin Moore are undergraduate students working with Dr. Lawler-Row in the department of psychology.     

Providing compensation promotes forgiveness for replaceable,but not irreplaceable,losses

ABSTRACT

The present study aimed to examine how the replaceability of a loss moderates the effectiveness of compensation. In Study 1, we sampled real-life experiences of experiential loss, material loss, or loss of materials to which the victims had special attachment, and assayed subsequent feelings toward the transgressor who caused the loss. The results showed that for those who reported losses of an experience or cherished material object, perpetrators’ offers of compensation did not facilitate forgiveness. In Study 2, by manipulating replaceability of hypothetical losses in vignettes, we showed that compensation for replaceable losses effectively elicits forgiveness from a victim, but compensation for irreplaceable losses is ineffective. A series of mediation analyses showed that the effect of replaceability on forgiveness is explained by the victim’s perception of whether their loss was sufficiently recovered. We discuss the function of compensation and its inherent limitations.     

Validating the Developmental Pathway of Forgiveness

The validity of the Process Model of Forgiveness (R. D. Enright, 2001) was examined by asking 82 adults to reflect and report on how they went about forgiving someone who had hurt them unfairly and deeply. Respondents' sequential ordering of the forgiveness process was compared with the theoretical ordering. Results showed moderate correlations between the participant derived and theoretically derived sequences. Although shown to be statistically valid, the model could benefit from revisions based on the participants' report of their own forgiveness experiences.     

What does it take to let go? An investigation into the facilitating and obstructing factors of forgiveness–the therapist's perspective

The phenomenon of forgiveness, initially neglected by psychotherapists due to its religious connotation, is finding increasing recognition as a transformative process involving the injured party in a profound way. This thesis is based on therapists’ experiences with clients who have been emotionally wounded. However, its content may be of relevance also for those who are struggling to forgive as well as those who are in a position to help others undergoing this process. Fifteen practitioners, most of them highly experienced, from eleven different countries on four different continents, have shared their observations and experiences by filling in an e-mail administered in-depth questionnaire. The topic has been approached with the following study objectives: the nature of forgiveness, intrapersonal and interpersonal factors affecting forgiveness, and the role of the therapist in the client's process of letting go. A qualitative research design has been applied for the data analysis, to identify the major themes of each research question, representing the facilitating and obstructing conditions relevant for forgiveness. Since the danger of premature forgiveness emerged as a recurrent concern, a “forgiveness chart” has been developed, assigning the analysed data to relevant categories: A reference tool designed to support a genuine process of letting go.     

Expressive Writing to Cope with Hate Speech: Assessing Psychobiological Stress Recovery and Forgiveness Promotion for Lesbian,Gay, Bisexual,or Queer Victims of Hate Speech

This study examined whether expressive writing could help lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer (LGBQ) hate speech victims increase forgiveness for offenders, and accelerate cortisol recovery following a discussion task in which they recalled the details of their experiences. Participants (N = 46) were assigned to a benefit‐finding, traumatic disclosure writing, or control condition. The findings indicate that benefit‐finding promoted forgiveness and reduced cortisol values, whereas traumatic disclosure writing only accelerated cortisol recovery. Analyses of the linguistic features of victims' narratives revealed that the amount of emotion‐related words related to cortisol recovery, whereas the greater use of cognitive words was related with forgiveness. Implications for theory, methodological comparison, and future research are discussed.     

The relationship between forgiveness and history of suicide attempt

The sentiment of forgiveness in relationship to suicide attempts/completions has been mostly examined through studies of suicide notes and the experiences of survivors and therapists – not attempters. In a cross-sectional sample of 304 consecutive primary care patients, we examined sentiments about forgiveness using the Forgiveness Scale, comparing those individuals with versus without past suicide attempts. According to findings, individuals with past suicide attempts (N?=?55; 19.1%) evidenced significantly lower composite scores on the Forgiveness Scale. As for individual items, compared to participants without past suicide attempts, those with past suicide attempts were significantly less believing of forgiveness by others, were less likely to forgive themselves, and to a lesser degree, were less forgiving of others. There were no between-group differences with regard to confession of wrongdoing or existential forgiveness by God. Findings may offer some salient avenues of therapeutic inquiry and endeavour in the psychological healing of individuals with past suicide attempts.     

Masculinity Ideology and Forgiveness of Racial Discrimination among African American Men: Direct and Interactive Relationships

Forgiveness research has focused almost exclusively on interpersonal transgressions committed in close relationships. Consequently, less is known about factors informing forgiveness of non-intimate actors. The current study addresses these gaps by investigating correlates of forgiveness over racial discrimination among African American men (N?=?171). Specifically, we explore relationships between the endorsement of traditional masculine ideology (e.g., restrictive emotionality), overall forgiveness, forgiveness with positive affect, and forgiveness with the absence of negative affect. Links between personality, religiosity, social support, discrimination experiences, and these forms of forgiveness also are examined. Restrictive emotionality emerged as a barrier to forgiveness of discrimination. However, the relationship between restrictive emotionality and forgiveness was moderated by age, socioeconomic status, personality, and religious coping disposition.     

Forgiving the September 11th terrorists: associations with coping, psychological distress, and religiosity

Two studies examined how non-interpersonal forgiveness (when there is no social relationship between the transgressor and forgiver) related to coping and involuntary responses to stress, psychological distress, and religiosity. Three to six weeks after September 11th, 2001, forgiveness had non-linear associations with other responses to the terrorist attacks. Among college students (N=488), those who were trying or had forgiven (pro-forgiveness) the terrorists reported less involuntary engagement, more primary and secondary control coping, and more meaning finding than those who were unsure about forgiveness (ambivalent) and those who did not believe the perpetrators should be forgiven (anti-forgiveness). Ambivalent students reported the most distress, even after controlling for religion. Anti-forgiveness students reported less religiosity than ambivalent and pro-forgiveness students. Most findings were consistent among middle schoolers (N=154), particularly regarding psychological distress and responses to stress. Also, forgiveness of strangers for acts against one's community functioned separately from religion.     

Attitudinal ambivalence, rumination, and forgiveness of partner transgressions in marriage

Although positive and negative attitudes toward a transgressor are related to increased and decreased forgiveness, respectively, prior research has failed to investigate forgiveness among those who feel both positively and negatively toward a transgressor. Therefore, the authors examined such ambivalence and its relationship to forgiveness. It was hypothesized that spouses with ambivalent attitudes toward their partner will be less forgiving of a partner transgression because such an event is likely to prime the negative component of their ambivalence. Because ruminating about a transgression also has the potential to prime the negative component of one's ambivalence, an interaction between rumination and ambivalence was predicted. Data from 87 married couples showed that greater attitudinal ambivalence toward the partner was associated with decreased forgiveness only when husbands and wives thought about the transgression frequently; ambivalence was not related to forgiveness in the absence of rumination. The implications of these findings for understanding forgiveness in marriage and for increasing forgiveness among married couples are discussed.     

The conceptualisation of forgiveness among Turkish children and adolescents

This study examined (a) how Turkish children and adolescents define forgiveness, (b) the association between self‐reported forgiveness and the concepts participants hold and (c) the association between self‐reported forgiveness and age. Three hundred and sixty‐seven Turkish children in primary (N = 220) and secondary schools (N = 147) were involved in the study. Participants were asked to define forgiveness, and the study used the Enright Forgiveness Inventory for Children (EFI‐C). Participants' conceptions of forgiveness were categorised into four groups: conditional forgiveness, reconciliation, ignoring the hurtful event and affective reactions. Half of all the participants in the study were found to be in the conditional forgiveness category. Turkish children were found to be mostly in the category of conditional forgiveness, reconciliation and affective reactions compared with adolescents. Adolescents were mainly found to be in the ignoring the hurtful event category. The highest self‐reported forgiveness mean was in the affective reactions category. Participants were commonly offended by friends, siblings, teachers and fathers. No correlation was found between self‐reported forgiveness and age. The present results expand the literature of forgiveness by presenting evidence that Turkish children's and adolescents' understanding of forgiveness moderately relates to theoretical definitions.     

Being forgiven: toward a thicker description of forgiveness

The author describes the less frequently examined process of seeking forgiveness from others. Examples from the seminary classroom are used to describe the process. The examination of the seeking forgiveness process provides insight into the whole construct of forgiveness.     

“For-giving” and Forgiving: Process and Practice in Pastoral Care

This article examines some of the basic psychodynamic understandings of forgiveness including forgiveness as aesthetic, ahistorical, tact, or the ability to for-give that Julia Kristeva (1995, 1989, 1987a, b) presents in her writings on depression and melancholia, analytic process and technique, and love and faith. These are supplemented by more recent examinations of forgiveness in the therapeutic community (Worthington 1998; Watts and Gulliford 2004; McCullough et al. 2000) as they relate to Christian belief, Christian practice and pastoral care. I argue that it is in the context of a caring relationship where and when individuals experience “for-giving” that they develop the ability to accept forgiveness (especially of the self) and thus become individuals who can extend forgiveness to others. Even those entering pastoral ministry who have no desire or little ability to engage in pastoral counseling will be served well if their own abilities to be “for-giving” are cultivated during their theological education. Thus, the application of “for-giving” extends far beyond the analytic process or technique that Kristeva envisions to include pastoral identity formation and pastoral ministry.     

Forgiveness, acceptance and the matter of expectation

In this paper, the author argues for a dynamic conceptualization of forgiveness during psychoanalysis. The trauma of failed expectations in intimate relationships is narcissistically dislodging. When legitimate expectations in relationships are not met, forgiveness becomes a challenge for ego to restore the lost narcissistic balance through the resumption of a significant internal bond. The author argues that the ending of any successful analysis is marked by three possibilities regarding the patient's relationship to significant others and his traumas: in cases where the relationship was marked by minimal expectations, one simply learns to accept the wrongdoer without ever feeling the need for forgiveness; in cases where a relationship was marked by high expectations, the patient can learn to accept the trauma without the will or need to forgive its perpetrator. However, even with the painful frustration of high expectations in an intimate relationship, the patient can come to forgive his wrongdoer if there remains enough of a positive internal bond to be salvaged. The developmental roots of such forgiveness, as well as the addictive characteristics of 'nursing a grudge' and the conversion of the qualitative mode of seeking fulfillment into a quantitative one, are further investigated.     

Vengeance is mine: Narcissism, vengeance, and the tendency to forgive

Recent theory and research have suggested that the disposition to forgive and the tendency to seek vengeance are related but distinguishable characteristics. Although highly forgiving individuals cannot be simultaneously high in vengeance, those who are low in forgiveness could be either vengeful or not. The present study tested the hypothesis that what distinguishes unforgiving people who are highly vengeful from unforgiving people who are not highly vengeful is that the latter group is lower in narcissism. Measures of dispositional forgiveness, narcissism, global self-esteem, and vengeance were administered to 248 undergraduates. As expected, people low in dispositional forgiveness were more vengeful than were people high in dispositional forgiveness, but particularly so among those high in narcissism; among those low in narcissism, forgiveness was less strongly related to vengeance. Thus, the most vengeful people were those who were both low in forgiveness and high in narcissism, independent of gender differences and healthy self-esteem.     

报复的理论模型及相关因素

报复是指受害者根据冒犯者的动机, 对后果的严重程度进行评估后, 实施攻击行为以惩罚或伤害他人的现象。已有研究涉及到报复的心理学内涵及定义, 它应当包括认知、情绪和行为三种成分; 阐述了报复与宽恕的关系、有关理论模型及其相关因素。未来的研究方向主要在于概念和理论的丰富与完善、研究方法的改进以及对其相关因素的深入实证研究等。     

Defining forgiveness: christian clergy and general population perspectives

The lack of any consensual definition of forgiveness is a serious weakness in the research literature (McCullough, Pargament, & Thoresen, 2000). As forgiveness is at the core of Christianity, this study returns to the Christian source of the concept to explore the meaning of forgiveness for practicing Christian clergy. Comparisons are made with a general population sample and social science definitions of forgiveness to ensure that a shared meaning of forgiveness is articulated. Anglican and Roman Catholic clergy (N = 209) and a general population sample (N = 159) completed a postal questionnaire about forgiveness. There was agreement on the existence of individual differences in forgiveness. Clergy and the general population perceived reconciliation as necessary for forgiveness while there was no consensus within psychology. The clergy suggest that forgiveness is limitless and that repentance is unnecessary, while the general population suggests that there are limits and that repentance is necessary. Psychological definitions do not conceptualize repentance as necessary for forgiveness, and the question of limits has not been addressed, although, within therapy, the implicit assumption is that forgiveness is limitless.     

Conciliatory gestures facilitate forgiveness and feelings of friendship by making transgressors appear more agreeable

The authors examined how conciliatory gestures exhibited in response to interpersonal transgressions influence forgiveness and feelings of friendship with the transgressor. In Study 1, 163 undergraduates who had recently been harmed were examined longitudinally. Conciliatory gestures exhibited by transgressors predicted higher rates of forgiveness over 21 days, and this relationship was mediated by victims' perceptions of their transgressors' Agreeableness. Study 2 was an experiment including 145 undergraduates who experienced a breach in trust from an anonymous partner during an iterated prisoner's dilemma. When transgressors apologized and offered financial compensation, participants reported higher levels of forgiveness and feelings of friendship when compared to a control condition and an aggravating condition. The effects of apology/compensation on forgiveness and perceived friendship were mediated by victims' perceptions of their transgressors' Agreeableness. Results suggest that conciliatory gestures promote forgiveness in part by depicting transgressors as more sympathetic, considerate, fair, and just (i.e., agreeable).     

Forgiveness: origins, dynamics, psychopathology, and technical relevance

This paper integrates a diverse and scattered literature to describe the psychodynamic underpinnings of granting and seeking forgiveness. The evolutionary foundations and the developmental substrate of these capacities are elucidated. An individual who fails to make certain intrapsychic achievements may be vulnerable to psychopathological development, as is evident in those who cannot forgive or forgive too readily, constantly or never seek others' forgiveness, cannot accept forgiveness, or show an imbalance between their capacities to forgive themselves and to forgive others. The relevance of various developmental and phenomenological concepts to psychoanalytic technique, including the patient's need to forgive and to be forgiven, is also discussed.     

It Pays to Forgive! Aging, Forgiveness, Hostility, and Health

The relationships among age, forgiveness, hostility, and subjective health were examined in a sample of 1,629 US adults who completed a Web-based survey sponsored by Spirituality and Health magazine. A structural equation model was used to test hypotheses about the relationships between age, forgiveness, hostility, and poor health. The model confirmed that age was positively related to poor health (p < .001) and to forgiveness (p < .001). The model further confirmed the hypothesized negative relationship between forgiveness and hostility (p < .001) and a positive relationship between hostility and poor health (p < .001). Overall, forgiveness had an indirect salutary effect on health through its negative association with hostility. The findings thus support the notion that as one ages, forgiveness may serve as an indirect health benefit by reducing hostility. The present results therefore suggest that the deleterious effects of age on health may be moderated whereby the wisdom of age enhances a person’s ability to forgive.