A psychologist grows in Brooklyn: reflections from the past

In this autobiography, I begin by describing how I made many important decisions in my life without much conscious or verbalized thought. I cover information about my parents, grandparents, early school experiences, and both college and graduate school. The autobiography also includes a detailed discussion of my 41 years of teaching at the University of Tennessee. I discuss important experiences that helped me to become a clinical psychologist and a teacher. I conclude the article with a personal experience concerning the death of my mother and an early memory.     

Memoirs of a Mentor: Using Creativity for Counselors in Coping With the Loss of a Mentor

This article was inspired by my (S.S.) own personal loss. My mentor passed away during spring break of my 2nd year postgraduate school after a short battle with systemic lupus. I remember the deep sadness that I felt when it became apparent that she was coming home from the hospital for the last time. No words can describe the emotions; she had helped me through the toughest times in my academic life. How would I ever get the type of mentorship she provided again? She was there when I almost quit as a young student, back when my anger still got the best of me. She talked me down from the edge so many times; I never expected to be on this journey without her.

I dedicate this article to her and mentors like her. Equally, I dedicate this article to mentees who have lost their mentors. I offer my story (in italicized font) in the hopes that it will help others who are dealing with a similar loss. In this article, we attempt to illuminate the true power of mentorship, honor the significance of the relationship between mentor and mentee, and provide a tool useful to anyone who has lost their guide. I share my story in gratitude for my own mentor; I am so thankful that she was a part of my journey and that I can pass on to others the patience she had with me.     

Memento Auschwitz: Growing Up in Post-War Germany

In this article, I provide some biographical data that is emblematic of the ways in which growing up in Germany shaped my sense of what it means for me to be a German. By explaining the notions of collectivity, Hour Zero, Betroffenheit, and Wiedergutmachung, I identify the leading, albeit in hindsight contradictory, notions that organized my experience under the overarching memento of my life: memento Auschwitz.     

The Reversal of Lifelong Labeling: An Autoethnography

The periphery belongs to me. I was born and grew up in a poor neighborhood. In common imagery, it evoked the negatively stereotyped image of a place as a poverty and crime heap. Because of my neighborhood, I’ve suffered various forms of strain. A lifelong labeling process has plagued my life, while in many theories of deviance and crime I would be a criminal. Therefore, how did these theories function with me and with my behavior? How has my lifelong labeling influenced my identity? What suggestions does my life experience offer in terms of urban/social policies? Now I’m trying to answer these questions through my autoethnography.     

States of Grace: A Relational Context for a Patient’s Coming Into Being

In this paper I explore what I am calling a “state of grace.” I describe how the convergence of a personal life event that left me more vulnerable—and more available—intersected with my patient Ruth’s fortuitous wish to resume a long-terminated treatment. This convergence allowed both my patient and me to repair the impact of early trauma and create a transcendent experience of new growth. The paper narrates how the process that unfolded became the medium through which Ruth, who felt a persistent experience of aloneness, allowed herself to feel, over time, the necessary primal experience of dependency and the subsequent overwhelming experience of basic need.     

Lost in Eden: Dementia From Paradise

I look at dementia from an eschatological perspective through personal experience as I supported my husband through his journey into Alzheimer’s disease. Building on the notion of a monastic garden, I draw from the contemplatives to understand my own “kairos” moment that changed my perspective on the way church and other providers offer care. Comparing the church to a garden, I argue that people with dementia are priest-bearing sacraments in whose faces God is seen. Looking into the faces of those with dementia, these priests shepherd us to recognize our illusions about life calling us to greater humility.     

Bearing Witness in Israel/Palestine: Finding My Voice

This article traces my evolution as a political activist in relation to the Israeli–Palestinian conflict over the past decade, and describes the ways my activism has become integrated into my professional life. I discuss my journeys in Israel/Palestine with delegations of the Compassionate Listening Project, highlighting disturbing stories of injustice and abuse and inspiring stories of interfaith cooperation and nonviolent peace work. My focus is on the emotional impact of becoming the bearer of stories of unbearable human experience that I felt compelled to bring back and share. I reveal my struggles with continuing to speak and write publically about the injustice that I witnessed. In the course of standing up to both internal and external attacks on bearing witness, I have discovered a stronger therapeutic voice with my patients as well.     

An Exodus

Being part of a family, any family, is an emotionally challenging experience. Being the only girl in my family was rife with much emotional turmoil alongside great love and devotion.

In writing this memoir I was able to call into my awareness all of those feelings: grief, sadness, joy, and the deep tenderness for both of the extraordinary parents I had and the home that housed that very rich and impactful upbringing.

My parents' deaths and the anguish of selling my family home all came down in rapid succession. It was a merciless experience. Like Persephone, those events sent me so far down into the underworld and forced me to face my shadow from every direction that I am only now beginning to climb back out into the sunlight and face this second half of my life.

Stories are spirit medicine; taking these sometimes painful yet evocative events and crafting them into art has both soothed the heartache and given me the gift of honoring my childhood and embracing my womanhood.

It is in the remembering where the softness lies. And so I remember it all; but most especially that swim, the very first one with my daddy dear that will always live in my heart...     

In the Valley of the Shadow of Death: A Personal Encounter with Cancer

This article describes my personal encounter with cancer (multiple myeloma) and a stem cell transplant. I discuss the tension between the ego (and its fear) and the Self (and its centering, calming nature) that went through the whole experience, including the decision to give talks about my experience. After giving the basic facts about the disease and my treatment and recovery, I discuss my experience, reactions, the ways I worked with myself, and what gave me meaning during this time. I discuss my use of meditation, visualization, and active imagination as tools to access inner resources and the support and meaning I derived from the Jewish prayer, the Sh’ma, and Psalms 23 and 30.     

How I became a Jungian analyst

This paper is a reflection on the significance of 80 years of my life and the 40 years of it I have spent working as a Jungian analyst in Europe and in Israel. If my Jewish identity and my experience of the tragic events of the Holocaust have profoundly influenced the course of my life, it has been my training as a Jungian analyst in Zürich that permitted me to establish a new relationship with the traditional Jewish symbols and created the possibility of a new way of experiencing what it means to be a Jew. This new understanding has in turn helped me both in my work with Holocaust survivors and victims of Israel's various wars and in my theoretical reflections on this subject.     

The Amplification and Integration of Near-Death and Other Exceptional Human Experiences by the Larger Cultural Context: An Autobiographical Case

Although I became a parapsychologist in part to help me understand the near-death experience (NDE) I had in 1952 as an undergraduate, it was not until 1990 that I began to integrate my NDE into my life. Doing so alerted me to the role the larger cultural context plays in regard to NDEs and other exceptional human experiences (EHEs). I propose not only that we need to draw on cultural resources to amplify the meaning of our exceptional human experiences, but that EHEs themselves carry the seeds of cultural change.     

Healing presence in the psychotherapist

Abstract

Throughout graduate school I felt compelled to become a fine psychotherapist. Implicit in that motivation was my curiosity about what makes a psychotherapist effective. My curiosity was inspired by my experience with one therapist who helped me activate profound transformation. After identifying intuitive inquiry (Anderson, 1998, 2000, 2004) as my research method, I explored that experience through meditation, reading, and conversation and eventually identified her healing presence as the core quality that differentiated her from other therapists I had known. Though technique and experience are important, I sensed that it was her healing presence that allowed her to use technique and experience skillfully. Throughout Cycle 1 of intuitive inquiry, the “text” that claimed me was my personal experience of her healing presence, her ability to be present, to connect with me, to see me, and even, to love me. Through intuitive inquiry, I was able to expand my understanding of the healing presence of a psychotherapist to incorporate the experiences of many others.     

The Carnales

Once, and only once, I had to fight for my life. The experience catapulted me to an edge of my being that I am glad to have found but don't want to visit too often–an edge others may seek by climbing a glacier, trekking in Nepal, or fasting for a week to induce visions. I am not a thrill-seeker, but a lazy quester content to make do with the ample shocks life has brought me unsought.     

A Multimodal Approach in Dealing with Chronic Epstein-Barr Viral Syndrome

Chronic Epstein-Barr Viral Syndrome (CEBV) is a puzzling and controversial disease with a variety of symptoms that frequently include depression and emotional debilitation. The following article describes CEBV, offers some diagnostic signs, and suggests a possible treatment strategy based on the multimodal approach. I am writing this letter in an attempt to try and explain the way my life has changed due to an illness called Chronic Epstein-Barr Viral Syndrome, or CEBV. I was not diagnosed at first. … I saw doctor after doctor and (had) test after test before being diagnosed … all of this began three years ago. I started getting weak, fatigued, headaches, swollen glands, sleep disturbances, light-headed and having pain and weakness in my joints. I soon was unable to perform at work or in my various sports activities. I sought help medically … he (the physician) put me in the hospital and ran numerous tests, all showing normal … this did not help either, I was still sick.     

Person and consciousness.

My interlocuter is Locke with his reduction of person to personal consciousness. This reduction is a main reason preventing people from acknowledging the personhood of the earliest human embryo, which lacks all personal consciousness. I show that Catholic Christians who live the sacramental life of the Church have reason to think that they are, as persons, vastly more than what they experience themselves to be, for they believe that the sacraments work effects in them as persons that can only be believed but that cannot be experienced within themselves in this life. I also show that Christians and non-Christians alike have an experience of moral good and evil in themselves that implies that they are, as moral persons, far more than they find in their conscious self-presence. It is, therefore, natural to think that if my being a person so far exceeds my consciousness, I may well have once existed as person even before the awakening of consciousness.     

Call me doctor? Confessions of a hospital philosopher

Accustomed as many of us have become in the era of clinical bioethics to the idea of a “hospital philosopher”, on reflection the historical novelty of the role is astonishing, as are its ambiguities. As a result of considering my own experience I found myself writing this miniature intellectual autobiography. In the course of this essay I raise two specific questions: what can the Western philosophical tradition contribute to the clinical setting; and (a question that is rarely asked), what are the implications of this experience for that tradition?     

Experiencing Musical Improvisation: The Body,the Mind,and the Senses

In the following article, I will try to describe and, thus, share with my readers those moments and those segments in my life that have allowed me to be involved in the experience of musical improvisation, which is comprised of the gestures, ideas, and emotions that, together, encompass the musical objects of improvisation, and the desire, the pleasure of sharing these objects in their shaping and creation.     

Power cut in the countertransference

This paper is an attempt to describe and understand a certain type of defence that I shall call a 'power cut' because of its crippling and anti-relational nature. I will take extracts from a baby observation to show how this type of defence can be adopted from the beginning of life, followed by vignettes from my work with a young child and an adult patient which addresses the particular kind of difficulty the analyst has to face with patients who resort to such a defence. I am arguing that while defending from another, the patient is able to destabilize not only the connection between himself and this other, the analyst, but also that between the analyst and the analyst's internal world. I understand this as the violent re-enactment of the patient's uncontained and split off primitive experience. I see recovery from 'power cuts' as the main challenge for the analyst who is helping the patient to recover from an early failure in containment which has led to defective splitting. Only when the unthinkable experience of 'power cut' can become an experience that can be lived through and converted into a deintegrate, may integration be achieved.