Self-monitoring and close relationships

Three types of close relationships have received attention from theorists and researchers interested in self-monitoring: friendships, romantic relationships, and marriage. Our review of this literature was organized around three phases of relationships: initiation, maintenance, and dissolution. Across the three types of relationships, consistent differences between high self-monitors and low self-monitors emerged concerning the structure of their social relationships (segmented vs. integrated), the basis for choosing friends and romantic partners (activity-based vs. person-based), and the orientation taken to romantic and marital partners (uncommitted vs. committed). Across all three types of relationships, however, little is known about the processes and consequences involved in the dissolution of close relationships for high self-monitors and low self-monitors. Relatively little is also known about the processes used by high self-monitors and low self-monitors to maintain their friendships and marriages. In addition to addressing these deficiencies in the literature, theorists and researchers interested in self-monitoring and close relationships need to develop sophisticated, causal models that can account for (a) interaction exchanges in the relationships, (b) dyadic as well as individual levels of analysis, and (c) temporal and situational changes in the course of close relationships.     

Commitment, pro-relationship behavior, and trust in close relationships

The present work advances and tests an interdependence-based model of the associations among commitment, pro-relationship behavior, and trust. Findings from two longitudinal studies revealed good support for model predictions. Commitment-inspired acts such as accommodation and willingness to sacrifice provide diagnostic information regarding a partner's pro-relationship motives. Individuals come to trust their partners when they perceive that their partners have enacted pro-relationship behaviors, departing from their direct self-interest for the good of the relationship. The results of mediation analyses are consistent with a model of mutual cyclical growth in which (a) dependence promotes strong commitment, (b) commitment promotes pro-relationship acts, (c) pro-relationship acts are perceived by the partner, (d) the perception of pro-relationship acts enhances the partner's trust, and (e) trust increases the partner's willingness to become dependent on the relationship. Auxiliary analyses revealed that self-reported attachment style does not account for substantial variance beyond the features of interdependence that form the basis for the present model.     

亲密关系中的自我扩张

自我扩张理论认为, 人们通过将他人的资源、观点和认同纳入自我来实现自我扩张, 增强完成目标的效能感。该理论作为动机领域的新热点, 研究多以亲密关系为背景。现有研究主要采用实验法和问卷法, 以自我扩张动机和将他人纳入自我为基点展开, 内容涉及择偶、关系质量、不忠、关系破裂和维持等方面。未来研究需进一步考察不同亲密关系类型、关系与非关系中自我扩张的运作机制, 以及亲密关系双方自我扩张的相互作用。     

Addictive buying: causes, processes, and symbolic meanings. Thematic analysis of a buying addict's diary

The aims of this study were twofold. On the one hand, to reach an understanding of, and to illustrate the experience of addictive buying and, on the other, to throw some light on the controversial subject of addicts' personal responsibility for their behavior. With these aims, a thematic analysis of an extensive diary written by a compulsive buyer is presented. Four themes emerge from the analysis: the defining characteristics of addiction to buying that determine the boundary separating it from other forms of impulsive or careless buying; several causal factors; the role that money and material objects play in family relationships and friendships through the symbolic meanings they adopt; and the relationship of personal values with impulsiveness and self-control. In view of the results, the moral model of addiction to buying is discussed, and an explanatory model of the ambivalence that is characteristic of addiction to buying is proposed, based on a personal hierarchy of values.     

Pastoral ecstasy and the authentic self: Theological meanings in symbolic distance

Pastoral ecstasy is defined as the capacity for and the experience of my distance from myself. It is the ability to stand outside one's social roles for purposes of critical reflection. Social roles are inevitable and cannot be laid aside. The role-distancing of the authentic self nurtures emotional well-being and enables the pastor to reflect, address his failures, and modify his patterns and behavior. The capacity for role-distancing demonstrates a natural self-role duplicity that is legitimate, i.e., to stand outside of and critically reflect on one's role while performing responsibly within it. Authentic living involves this legitimate duplicity and indicates honest commitment.This article was first presented as an address before the Southwest Regional Meeting of the Association for Clinical Pastoral Education in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Spring 1976.     

Emotional communication in close relationships

Emotional communication patterns characterizing interactions between partners in close relationships were investigated by asking 29 couples who were married or living together to engage in a videotaped discussion of a problem they were having in their relationship. In a later experimental session, partners identified specific communications that they believed had an important influence on the discussion and then rated the communications in terms of the feelings the communicator intended to convey and the recipient's reactions. Partners attempted to reciprocate both the positive and negative feelings that they perceived their partner to express toward them. However, only negative feelings were actually reciprocated. This was because subjects were sensitive to differences in the negative feelings their partners reported expressing and interpreted those feelings correctly, but they were inaccurate in perceiving their partners' expressions of positive feelings. Men (but not women) interpreted their partners' failures to express love as an indication of hostility, whereas women (but not men) interpreted their partners' lack of hostility as an indication of love. These and other results were conceptualized in terms of a general model of emotional communication. Parameters of the model pertaining to the hostility of partners' communications were often related to women's satisfaction with their relationship and their beliefs about relationships in general. However, they were unrelated to men's satisfaction and general beliefs. This suggested that women are generally more adversely affected by overt expression of hostility than are men.     

Positive illusion in close relationships

The literature regarding self-other comparisons suggests that self-enhancing perceptions are prevalent, including forms of “illusion” such as excessively positive self-evaluation, unrealistic optimism, and exaggerated perceptions of control. Concepts from optimal distinctiveness theory served as the basis for two experiments examining whether illusion functions similarly when the context of evaluation involves a relationship. In both experiments participants rated themselves, the best friend, and the average other—or their own romantic relationships, the best friend's relationship, and the relationship of the average other–using scales measuring positivity of evaluation, optimism regarding the future, and perceptions of control. In both experiments, participants exhibited centrality-based differentiation, rating targets more favorably to the degree that the target was more central to their social identity. Patterns of differentiation differed for the two contexts: In the individual context, participants differentiated themselves and their friends from the average other. In the relationship context, participants differentiated their own relationships from the relationships of friends and average others. Also, participants rated individuals as more controllable than relationships. Participants in Experiment 2 provided information regarding potential predictors of illusion. Analyses of these data suggest that favorable centrality-based differentiation may be partially accounted for by impression management, global self-esteem (particularly in the individual context), and commitment level (particularly in the relationship context).     

Attitude alignment in close relationships

On the basis of principles of balance theory and interdependence theory, this research examined a phenomenon termed attitude alignment, or the tendency of interacting partners to modify their attitudes in such a manner as to achieve attitudinal congruence. The results of three experiments generally were consistent with the proposed model. First, tendencies toward attitude alignment were greater to the extent that attitudinal discrepancies were salient. Second, alignment tendencies were greater to the extent that an issue was central to the partner; there was also evidence that the degree to which an issue was peripheral to the self affected alignment processes (e.g., for changes in centrality of issue, with regard to persuasion methods). Third, degree of alignment tended to be greater in dating-partner interactions than in stranger interactions and tended to be greater among couples with high adjustment than among those with low adjustment.     

仪式动作、象征意义和积极情绪增强控制感：双路径机制

以中国普米族人的传统文化仪式“敬锅庄”为例, 采用回忆任务、创设新颖仪式等方法考察仪式动作、象征意义和积极情绪对普米族青少年及成人的控制感的影响。结果表明, 熟悉敬锅庄仪式的动作、象征意义或者具有更多情感体验的青少年的控制感更强。仪式动作与象征意义对控制感的影响存在双路径机制：仪式动作直接增强个体的控制感, 象征意义通过积极情绪间接增强个体的控制感。象征意义与控制感的关系还因仪式主体不同有所区别：祈求庇佑通过积极情绪间接增强青少年的控制感, 表达感恩通过积极情绪间接增强成年人的控制感。研究结果对探究仪式动作、象征意义和积极情绪对个体控制感的影响有重要启示。     

Sacrifice in close relationships: Motives,emotions, and relationship outcomes

Romantic partners often face situations in which their preferences, interests and goals are not well aligned—what is good for one partner is not good for the other. In these situations, people need to make a decision between pursuing their own self‐interest and sacrificing for their partner or the relationship. In this work, we discuss antecedents and consequences of sacrifice in close relationships. Specifically, we address when people are more likely to sacrifice, what are the motivations driving a sacrifice, and what are the affective consequences of this behavior for the person who makes the sacrifice (i.e., the actor), for the person who receives the sacrifice (i.e., the recipient), and for the relationship. We conclude by discussing important directions for future research on the implications of sacrifice for the well‐being of individuals and their relationships.     

Toward the analysis of close relationships

Two central questions are addressed: (1) How does one distinguish among relationships differing in closeness at any single point in time? (2) How do relationships change over either a short or a long time span? The first question suggests looking inside the Person-Other “intersection.” Findings from several empirical studies are described. The second question leads to discussions of short-term and long-term temporal processes. Regarding long-term pair processes, it is proposed that research can be stimulated by recognizing a five-phase sequence which extends from (a) initial attraction, to (b) building a relationship, (c) continuation, (d) deterioration, and (e) ending; transitions between adjacent phases are considered. The importance of theoretical models is emphasized throughout.     

Gender,Interpersonal Orientation,and manipulation tactic use in close relationships

Investigations have focused on influence tactic pattern use in relation to socialized power differences due to gender. We carried Swap and Rubin's (1987) Interpersonal Orientation (IO) variable into the Buss, Gomes, Higgins, & Lauterbach (1987) framework for manipulation tactic use. Subjects were male and female undergraduates (N= 53) who scored either in the upper or lower quartiles of the IO scale. At testing, high and low IO subjects completed a demographic questionnaire and the Manipulation Tactics index with regard to a close, opposite-sex friend. We found that high IO females reported more frequent use of manipulation tactics than low IO females. Males' reported use of manipulation tactics was unrelated to their IO status. The results were discussed in terms of possible adaptive patterns developed by females to deal with perceived chronic powerlessness.     

Strategies of influence in close relationships

In this study, we examined how close relationship partners spontaneously influence each other while they discussed an existing problem in their relationship. According to theories of social influence, people in important, self-defining relationships should experience the relationship itself as a potent source of influence. Thus, they are likely to rely on the relationship as a source of power and to use influence strategies that reference relationship norms and values. Consistent with this reasoning, dating partners who were subjectively closer to their partners/relationships were more likely to reference the relationship in their influence attempts than those who were less subjectively close. Furthermore, referencing the relationship was an effective influence strategy. Greater referencing was associated with opinion shifts during discussions for both agents and targets of influence, with each compromising toward the other's position. In contrast, greater use of negative coercion as an influence strategy (e.g., derogation of the partner or punishment) was associated with less compromise.     

Trust and partner-enhancing attributions in close relationships

A cross-lagged panel design was used to examine the links between trust and attributional processes in a sample of 75 married couples throughout a period of 2 years. During the first phase of the study, participants completed a measure of marital trust, engaged in a laboratory problem-solving discussion of a recurrent conflict-related issue, and then rated their partner's behavior and motives. Approximately 2 years later, 54 couples were again contacted and measures of trust were obtained. Forty of these couples also viewed a videotape of their laboratory problem-solving discussion from 2 years previously and rated their partner's behavior and motives. Results suggested a reciprocal causal pattern by which partner-enhancing attributions predict changes in trust and trust predicts changes in partner-enhancing attributions.     

Trust and communicated attributions in close relationships

The attributional statements intimate partners communicate to one another were examined as a function of trust. In discussions by 35 married couples, 850 attributions and corresponding events were coded on dimensions of valence, globality, and locus. Results of regression and contingency analyses indicate that attributional statements expressed in high-trust relationships emphasized positive aspects of the relationship. Medium-trust couples actively engaged issues but focused more on negative events and explanations. Low-trust couples expressed more specific, less affectively extreme attributional statements that minimized the potential for increased conflict. Results could not be accounted for by relationship satisfaction. These findings also highlight the importance of focusing on features of the events for which attributions are expressed.     

The effects of self-regulatory strength, content, and strategies on close relationships

This article reviews the growing literature on the effects of self-regulatory strength (how much self-regulatory ability people have), self-regulatory content (the goals toward which people self-regulate), and self-regulatory strategies (the manner in which people self-regulate) on close relationships. The extant literature indicates that close relationships benefit when relationship partners (a) have greater versus less self-regulatory strength, (b) prioritize relationship-promotion goals versus self-protection goals, (c) facilitate versus obstruct each other's personal goal pursuits, (d) enact positive relationship behaviors using approach versus avoidance strategies, and (e) pursue shared goals using complementary versus similar regulatory focus strategies. Future research could fruitfully (a) delve deeper into the influences of self-regulatory content and strategies on relationships and (b) integrate multiple lines of research examining the effects of self-regulation on relationships.     

Daily supportive equity in close relationships

Receiving support in committed relationships has frequently been associated with negative psychological outcomes in the recipient, such as increased distress. The authors hypothesized that these negative effects could be offset by support recipients' reciprocation of support, that is, by creating a sense of supportive equity. To investigate this hypothesis, the authors obtained daily reports of mood and of received and given emotional support from both partners in 85 couples throughout a 4-week period. Reciprocity in support transactions was associated with higher levels of positive mood and lower levels of negative mood. In line with previous research, receiving support without reciprocation was associated with increases in negative mood. Giving support, regardless of receipt, was associated with a decrease in negative mood.     

Transactive memory in close relationships.

Memory performance of 118 individuals who had been in close dating relationships for at least 3 months was studied. For a memory task ostensibly to be performed by pairs, some Ss were paired with their partners and some were paired with an opposite-sex partner from another couple. For some pairs a memory structure was assigned (e.g., 1 partner should remember food items, another should remember history items, etc.), whereas for others no structure was mentioned. Pairs studied together without communication, and recall was tested in individuals. Memory performance of the natural pairs was better than that of impromptu pairs without assigned structure, whereas the performance of natural pairs was inferior to that of impromptu pairs when structure was assigned.     

Romantic love and sexual desire in close relationships

Drawing on recent claims in the study of relationships, attachment, and emotion, the authors hypothesized that romantic love serves a commitment-related function and sexual desire a reproduction-related function. Consistent with these claims, in Study 1, brief experiences of romantic love and sexual desire observed in a 3-min interaction between romantic partners were related to distinct feeling states, distinct nonverbal displays, and commitment- and reproductive-related relationship outcomes, respectively. In Study 2, the nonverbal display of romantic love was related to the release of oxytocin. Discussion focuses on the place of romantic love and sexual desire in the literature on emotion.