The Origins and Resolution of Marital Discord from a Control Mastery Perspective

SUMMARY

This article focuses on individuals who grow up in proximity to suffering and/or possessive parents or siblings. It is not uncommon for such individuals to develop pathogenic beliefs that mitigate against them enjoying their lives, relationships, etc., while others are perceived as suffering or in need. Unconscious beliefs associated with survivor and separation guilt occasion maladaptive behaviors, i.e., undoing, spoiling, that prevent people who might otherwise yearn for success in the domain of work and love from achieving this. Often couples experiencing strife are unknowingly acting out such beliefs so as to maintain loyalty and allegiance with the discontented and/or needy parent or sibling. The task of therapy is to make these beliefs conscious so that they can be resisted and overcome.     

Stretching–Developing Therapeutic Creativity in Work with Couples

ABSTRACT

The biggest issue for therapists is how to maintain their vitality and creativity throughout their careers. I believe that therapeutic creativity lies in the interface of these skills: making up new stories in the moment, translating them into a client's actual experience, and helping the client use them to be different. Developing and maintaining these creative skills involves two issues of therapeutic style. Contrast means that you know the parts of your personality and can use them to demonstrate being different. Range means that you can take a specific part of your personality and play with it.     

The Spiritual Connection

SUMMARY

The spiritual connection between two people in relationship can bring a new perspective to interpersonal issues. When a relationship is based on authentic, congruent communication the process of owning projections and transforming negative emotions can free both people to love more wholeheartedly and to share the healing journey of spiritual awakening. This journey is an opportunity for growth and commitment to a shared purpose shifting motivation from fear to love.     

Speech pathology student clinician attitudes and beliefs towards people who stutter: A mixed-method pilot study

PurposeStuttering is a disorder of fluency that extends beyond its physical nature and has social, emotional and vocational impacts. Research shows that individuals often exhibit negative attitudes towards people who stutter; however, there is limited research on the attitudes and beliefs of speech pathology students towards people who stutter in Australia. Existing research is predominantly quantitative; whereas this mixed-method study placed an emphasis on the qualitative component. The purpose of this study was to explore the attitudes and beliefs of final year Australian speech pathology students towards people who stutter.MethodsThis mixed-method study applied the Public Opinion Survey of Human Attributes – Stuttering (POSHA-S) and semi-structured interviews to gather data from final year speech pathology students from a major university in Australia.Principal resultsThe overall qualitative findings identified that final year Australian speech pathology students exhibit positive attitudes towards people who stutter. The results also illustrated the role of education in influencing attitudes of students as well as increasing their confidence to work with people who stutter.Major conclusionThis research revealed that Australian final year speech pathology students exhibit positive attitudes towards people who stutter. They displayed an understanding that people who stutter may have acquired traits such as shyness as a response to their personal situation and environment, rather than those traits being endemic to them. Results also suggested that education can play a role in creating confident student clinicians in their transition to practice, and positively influence their attitudes and beliefs.     

POSSIBLE GIRLS

Abstract:  I argue that if David Lewis' modal realism is true, modal realists from different possible worlds can fall in love with each other. I offer a method for uniquely picking out possible people who are in love with us and not with our counterparts. Impossible lovers and trans-world love letters are considered. Anticipating objections, I argue that we can stand in the right kinds of relations to merely possible people to be in love with them and that ending a trans-world relationship to start a relationship with an actual person isn't cruel to one's otherworldly lover.     

Love,passion, and peak experience: A qualitative study on six continents

Abstract

Qualitative inquiry promotes deeper understanding of human experiences that can be reduced and decontextualized when examined solely via quantitative methods. In this study, we interviewed 150 people in 22 countries on six continents, asking them, ‘What do you love?’, ‘What is a great passion in your life?’, and ‘What has been a peak experience in your life?’. Love, passion, and peak experience share definitional and theoretical overlaps. However, they have not been explored simultaneously across cultures using qualitative methods. We utilized a pragmatic, inductive, thematic methodology, and 11 key themes emerged from the data. Other people and learning and growing were the top two themes for all three constructs, and data patterns suggested more variation within than between continents. We suggest that love, passion, and peak experience may promote self-determination and/or psychological complexity via integration with and differentiation from the environment, and suggest directions for future research.     

Subject‐Relative Reasons for Love

Can love be an appropriate response to a person? In this paper, I argue that it can. First, I discuss the reasons why we might think this question should be answered in the negative. This will help us clarify the question itself. Then I argue that, even though extant accounts of reasons for love are inadequate, there remains the suspicion that there must be something about people which make our love for them appropriate. Being lovable, I contend, is what makes our love for them appropriate, just as being fearsome is what makes our fear of certain situations appropriate. I finally propose a general account of this property which avoids the major problems facing the extant accounts of reasons for love.     

2 B kreativ’ or not to be creative: Textisms and texters’ creativity

IntroductionText messages are particularly popular among young people. Studies have focused on the links between writers’ unconventional spelling and literacy skills. Creativity gives the possibility to cope with the numerous changes people have to face.ObjectiveThe present research aimed to examine the relation between the creative potential of texters (text-message writers) and their use of textisms (a change in a word's orthographic form as compared to traditional writing).MethodTwo corpora were compiled: one of 285 elicited text messages and one of 580 naturalistic text messages produced in daily-life situations by undergraduates (n = 29, 20–23 years of age). Two types of textisms were measured: those consistent with traditional written code and those breaking with traditional written code. Four scores of creative potential were considered: graphic divergent thinking, verbal divergent thinking, graphic integrative thinking and verbal integrative thinking.ResultsThe results showed negative correlations between the level of creativity and the density of textisms. Overall, texters who were creative in divergent thinking produced fewer textisms breaking with traditional written code.ConclusionThe results of our study are discussed with regard to the texters’ flexibility and ability to adapt or appropriately address their interlocutor.     

Life Stories of Latvian Lutheran Pastors

I have interviewed leading Latvian pastors and present here a series of autobiographical tributes in grateful recognition of their work. When I look at the typed pages on my table, it seems strange to me that it could all fit on a few sheets of paper: the pain, the suffering, the love and the victory, many victories. These pages are the fruit of long conversations with people I had known for many years - now I think I had not really known them before. Their deepest thoughts and longings had been hidden from the casual enquirer. For the first time in my life I have played the part of the journalist, one who enquires with the purpose of understanding and communicating this knowledge to others. A mysterious, even sacramental world has revealed itself to me: the world of the human soul, the world of a pastor's soul as he leads his flock through vicissitudes to the green pastures of heavenly life here on earth. I asked myself whether the pastors had always known the way, whether they had always seen the mighty hand of God in action. I was reminded that these people are our neighbours too; that as human beings it is they who sometimes need our help. The Latvian people owe their freedom to their pastors. I would like this brief collection to be a gesture of thanks to all the other pastors whose stories have not been told.     

Eternally Separated Lovers: The Argument from Love

A message scribbled irreverently on the mediaeval walls of the Nonberg cloister says this: ‘Neither of us can go to heaven unless the other gets in.’ It suggests an argument against the view that those who love people who suffer in hell can be perfectly happy, or even free from all suffering, in heaven. This paper considers the challenge posed by this thought to the coherence of the traditional Christian doctrine on which there are some people in hell who are suffering and others in heaven who are not suffering. More precisely, it defends the following argument:

1. No one who loves another can be perfectly happy or free from suffering if they know that their beloved is suffering.

2. Anyone in hell suffers (at least as long as they are in hell).

3. Anyone in heaven is perfectly happy or at least free from suffering.

4. There can be no one in heaven who is aware of the fact that his or her beloved is in hell. (1, 2, and 3)

The paper argues that the first premise is eminently plausible and that those who accept the traditional Christian doctrine should endorse the claim that some of those in heaven love people whom they know to be suffering in hell. So, it concludes that there is reason to reject the traditional Christian doctrine.     

Soup,Stitches, and Song

Abstract

This article discusses ways that clinical practitioners can utilize creative strategies in working with clients who are experiencing grief following the death of their adolescent child. It presents a brief literature review regarding this specific type of parental grief as well as practical and helpful ways to utilize books, songs, and tangible projects in the grieving process.     

Elements of Couple Psychotherapy and Awakening

SUMMARY

A basic premise of this article is that the couple relationship always contains elements of spiritual awakening. “Spiritual emergencies,” fresh love, and new pain all bring with them the potential of spiritual awakening. The limits in our ability to express love, receive love, and to sustain intimate contact in our couple relationship mirror the limits within our spiritual life. Our relative ignorance of the spiritual aspects of our couple relationship causes stagnation and suffering.     

Dementia–A Spiritual Journey Towards the Divine: A Personal View of Dementia

SUMMARY

This chapter presents a moving account of one woman's journey into fronto-temporal dementia. Bryden grapples with the difficult issues of loss of self and relationship with God. She examines the significance of memory in the Christian journey, and finally, she proposes ways for relating to her as she moves further into dementia. The strategies suggested uphold her as a fellow member of the Body of Christ, where others may become her memory, and where she can still be nurtured through the love of others and feel God's love through them.     

Love,Value and Supervenience*

Abstract

People are prone to ascribe value to persons they love. However, the relation between love and value is far from straightforward. This is particularly evident given certain views on the nature of love. Setting out from the idea that what causes us to have an attitude towards an object need not be found in the intentional content of the attitude, this paper depicts love as an attitude that takes non‐fungible persons as intentional objects. Taking this view as a starting point, the paper shows why it is difficult to combine with certain views on value. The main challenge comes from the idea that value judgments are universalizable. This view squares badly with the thought that the people whom we love are irreplaceable. Introducing the idea that properties may have different functions in the intentional content of the attitude, this paper determines what precisely it is about love that makes it hard to combine with universalizability. Moreover, it suggests two ways of meeting this challenge.     

Applications of rational-emotive therapy (RET) to love problems

Rational-emotive therapy (RET) can be particularly applied to individuals with serious love problems, such as people possessed by super-romantic love, limerents who are mired in obsessive-compulsive feelings, insensately jealous and possessive lovers, people who needlessly interfere with their encountering suitable partners, and those who suffer anguish and depression when they lose love. It also has important things to teach about keeping alive and enhancing normal love feelings. This paper outlines the RET theory of love and applies it to various amative difficulties.This article is to appear as a chapter inClinical applications of Rational-Emotive Therapy, edited by Albert Ellis and Michael Bernard, New York: Plenum, 1985.     

Sentimentalist Practical Reason and Self-Sacrifice

ABSTRACT

For obvious reasons sentimentalists have been hesitant to offer accounts of moral reasons for action: the whole idea at least initially smacks of rationalist notions of morality. But the sentimentalist can seek to reduce practical to sentimentalist considerations and that is what the present paper attempts to do. Prudential reasons can be identified with the normal emotional/motivational responses people feel in situations that threaten them or offer them opportunities to attain what they need. And in the most basic cases altruistic/moral reasons involve the empathic transfer of one person’s prudential reasons and emotions to another person or persons who can help them. Practical/moral reasons for self-sacrifice also depend on empathic transfer and can vary in strength with the strength of the transfer.     

Surviving the bombing of pan am flight 103: The loss of innocence and a dear friend in an international tragedy

Abstract

On December 21, 1988, a terrorist bomb blew Pan Am Flight 103 out of the sky over Lockerbie, Scotland, 54 minutes after it took off from London's Heathrow Airport. The explosion sent 259 passengers and crew members tumbling 6 miles to their deaths, killed 11 people on the ground, and created waves of shock and grief that continue to reverberate across the globe. My friend Miriam Wolfe, one of 35 students returning from a semester in London under the auspices of Syracuse University, was on that flight. Her death was the final, jarring event in a traumatic year that had brought me the accidental deaths of four other friends in an Easter plane crash and the breast cancer that would force my mother to endure a mastecotomy and painful years of chemotherapy and drug treatments. While it is tempting to canonize the victims of violent disaster, Miriam was different–and inarguably deserving of such hagiography. A tribute written for one of three memorial scholarships established in her honor calls her a rare and gifted young woman who lived life to the fullest; actively worked to change the world for the better; and gave a great deal of love, joy and wisdom to all who knew her!' Her death yanked me from the comfortable naivete of my youth and forced me to confront the pain and confusion of the adult world. It destroyed my faith in the inherent good of mankind but showed me how disaster can bring out the best in people. It gave me a nihilistic view of life but forced me to make the most of every moment I have. It made me appreciate the people around me but gave me little tolerance for anyone who wastes my time. And it instilled in me a knee-jerk animus toward religion and nearly all things Middle Eastern. Ultimately, though, Miriam's life and death taught me how to live and love and survive in ways I never thought necessary—or possible.     

Why the tall-poppy syndrome is becoming worse in the creative professions / Razones por las que el síndrome de la amapola alta es cada vez más acentuado en las profesiones creativas

Abstract

The tall-poppy syndrome (TPS) is a pattern of behaviour whereby people who excel in some respect are cut down to size by those around them. People are often uncomfortable with those who excel and therefore, in effect, seek to put them in their place. I argue in this article that the TPS is, in some respects, getting worse, even in the creative professions. I suggest a number of reasons why this might be so and also what societies might do about it.     

Fear-then-relief,legitimizing a paltry contribution,and charity

IntroductionThe compliance literature describes multiple techniques of social influence. Some of them have proven effective at inducing compliance in the charity domain. One such technique is referred to as legitimizing a paltry contribution (LPC). There are theoretical grounds on which it can be assumed that this technique will be particularly effective in conditions in which a person feels relief from fear.ObjectiveThe aim of the study was to examine whether people who experience fear-relief sequences are more susceptible to the LPC technique than those in a neutral emotional state.MethodIn two field studies, some people experienced relief from fear, while others remained in a neutral emotional state. The participants were then asked to donate to a worthy cause. A request was formulated either in a standard way, or with the phrase “even a penny will help”.ResultsThe two experiments yielded consistent results. It turned out that the LPC technique was particularly effective when participants had experienced relief from fear.ConclusionsThe aforementioned pattern of results is important for the development of theoretical knowledge about techniques of social influence, and has direct practical implications.