Face It Head On

SUMMARY

This article focuses on key clinical ideas to help couples face directly the painful issues brought about by infidelity. The author discusses key relational processes related to infidelity along with desired outcomes. The emphasis is on helping couples change key relational dynamics that facilitate the healing process. Couples are encouraged to engage in the healing process head on, and not avoid or skirt around the issues. The article illustrates these desired changes by means of a case Study.     

Family-of-Origin,Sexual Attitudes,and Perceptions of Infidelity: A Mediation Analysis

Abstract

The purpose of this study was to examine the influence family of origin and sexual attitudes have on perceptions of infidelity through a mediation analysis to test whether sexual attitudes mediates the relationship between family of origin attitudes and perceptions of infidelity. Results indicated that family of origin attitudes were linked with higher permissive sexual attitudes and lower perceptions of infidelity. Additionally, results indicated an indirect link between family of origin attitudes and perceptions of infidelity through sexual attitudes. These findings align with previous research examining how family of origin influences the occurrence of infidelity and provides insight to helping professionals as they address infidelity in romantic relationships.     

Internet Infidelity

SUMMARY

We used a multi-phase Delphi methodology to identify and explore critical issues, interventions, and gender differences in the treatment of Internet infidelity. We developed three representative vignettes related to Internet infidelity and asked twenty experts in extramarital affairs and/or sex addiction to respond to them, both through ratings and open-ended comments. We found little agreement among the experts. We discuss the unique features of Internet relationships, the areas of agreement and disagreement that we found among the experts, and the implications of our findings and the nature of Internet infidelity for both practice and training in marriage and family therapy.     

Infidelity

SUMMARY

In this article, we provide an overview of infidelity theory, research, and treatment. We discuss the effect of infidelity on couples and delineate three types of infidelityemotional, physical, and infidelity including aspects of both. Further, we expand traditional thinking about infidelity by reviewing the role of the Internet in infidelity, and explore infidelity within the context of comarital relationships. Finally, we discuss the overarching theories and common models used in infidelity treatment.     

The Effects of Sample Characteristics and Experience with Infidelity on Romantic Jealousy

Past research has suggested that men are more upset by imagined sexual than emotional infidelity, and women are more upset by imagined emotional infidelity than sexual infidelity. However, experience with infidelity, methodology, and age and gender of the sample may help to explain inconsistent results. Two hundred ninety-four English-speaking undergraduate students and 325 non-college adults in a large mid-Atlantic urban area of the U.S. completed forced-choice or continuous-scale anonymous questionnaires regarding jealousy over a mate??s hypothetical infidelity. Chi-square and MANOVA analyses replicated previous findings of the expected gender difference in all hypothetical forced-choice scenarios. However, results for those participants who reported experience with actual infidelity demonstrated little support for the traditional evolutionary model, as there were no gender differences in which aspect of hypothetical infidelity was reported to be more distressing, and no gender differences at the college level in terms of which aspect of infidelity received the greatest focus. These findings, extrapolated from both undergraduates and adults and accounting for the impact of actual, primed memory of experience of infidelity on hypothetical jealousy scenarios, raise important questions about the validity of hypothetical scenarios of jealousy as proxies for real reactions to actual infidelity. The results of the present study suggest that the lack of a consistent, replicable gender difference across the lifespan may be explained by two related factors: age and actual experience with infidelity.     

Infidelity in the Time of COVID-19

Infidelity occurs in approximately 25% of marriages and is associated with various negative consequences for individuals (e.g., depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress), the couple relationship (e.g., financial loss, increased conflict, and aggression), and the couple's children (e.g., internalizing and externalizing behaviors). Infidelity is also one of the most frequently cited reasons for divorce. The increased stress brought on by the pandemic may be putting couples at an increased risk for experiencing infidelity, and data collected during the pandemic have shown that people across the United States are engaging in behaviors that are associated with a high likelihood of experiencing infidelity. The negative consequences of infidelity are also likely to be exacerbated for couples during the pandemic due to the intersection with the social, emotional, and financial consequences of COVID-19. Furthermore, couples are likely to experience disruptions and delays to the affair recovery process during the pandemic, which can negatively impact their ability to heal. Therefore, recommendations for navigating affair recovery during the pandemic, including adaptations for therapy, are also discussed.     

Discrepancies Between Explicit and Implicit Self-Esteem: Implications for Mate Retention Strategies and Perceived Infidelity

ABSTRACT

The purpose of the present study was to examine whether the association between explicit self-esteem and relationship outcomes was moderated by implicit self-esteem. This was accomplished by asking 210 undergraduates who were currently involved in romantic relationships to complete measures of their explicit self-esteem, implicit self-esteem, mate retention strategies, and likelihood of future infidelity. Implicit self-esteem was found to moderate the association between high explicit self-esteem and relationship outcomes for male participants such that men with discrepant high self-esteem (i.e., high explicit self-esteem but low implicit self-esteem) reported less use of mate retention strategies and perceived a greater likelihood of future infidelity in their relationships during the next year. These findings provide additional support for the idea that fragile self-esteem may have consequences for the manner in which individuals perceive their relationships.     

Sociosexual Orientation,Commitment, and Infidelity: A Mediation Analysis

ABSTRACT

Individuals with an unrestricted sociosexual orientation (SO) are less committed to their romantic relationships and more likely to engage in infidelity. Furthermore, commitment is negatively associated with tendencies to cheat. However, no previous research has examined the possible mediating role of commitment in the relationship between SO and infidelity. The current study examined whether commitment mediated the relationship between SO and willingness to engage in three types of cheating behaviors (Ambiguous, Deceptive, and Explicit). Results suggested that commitment partially mediated the relationship between SO and infidelity, such that unrestricted individuals had lower commitment, which in turn led to a greater likelihood of cheating. Implications of this association and directions for future research are discussed.     

Romantic revenge and the Dark Triad: A model of impellance and inhibition

Based on I³ theory, the present study investigated a model in which the Dark Triad of personality traits (Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy) influence the rated likelihood of engaging in revenge against a romantic partner. We presented participants with a hypothetical act of infidelity, hypothesizing that the Dark Triad would relate positively to factors that could impel revenge (perceptions of revenge effectiveness and endorsement of goals related to power and justice) and negatively to factors that could inhibit revenge (perceptions of revenge costliness and endorsement of goals related to relationship maintenance). Although the Dark Triad bore substantial indirect relationships to the rated likelihood of taking revenge through our postulated impelling factors, our hypothesized inhibiting factors did not substantially inhibit revenge. Implications of these findings are discussed.     

Jealousy and infidelity: The role of gender identity and culture of honour

Abstract

This research is aimed at examining whether gender and the culture of honour were associated with the type of infidelity (sexual or emotional) that is perceived as most disturbing. A total of 748 Spanish university students (336 men and 412 women), answered to six dilemmas which raised the type of infidelity that had greater impact on them (sexual or emotional), a scale of gender identity and a scale of culture of honour. The results showed that both men and women were more affected by emotional infidelity. In addition it was found that the effect of sex on the type of infidelity that stresses the participants more was moderated by sociocultural variables such as the culture of honour, masculinity and femininity.     

Broken Bonds

SUMMARY

Infidelity comes in many forms. Different meanings may be assigned to the various forms. This article discusses not only the different forms infidelity may take, but also the larger issue in the field of couple and family therapy; the meaning frame for understanding the impact of different kinds of events, specific relationship problems, and how to deal with them. This is done through the use of emotion focused therapy and the context of adult attachment.     

Relationship infidelity: A loss perspective

Abstract

A particularly poignant type of loss may be experienced by persons involved in intimate relationships in which a partner is sexually or emotionally unfaithful. As a means of exploring women's and men's perceptions about and personal experiences of unfaithfulness, approximately 140 participants completed a lengthy questionnaire relevant to close relationships. As expected, participants perceived selected gender differences in reasons for and reactions to a partner's infidelity. Based on personal reports about relationship infidelities, it appears that extrarelationship involvement is a complex issue that may result in substantial losses for relationship partners.     

Marital Infidelity

SUMMARY

This paper describes die usual course of discovered marital infidelity and its predictable posttraumatic reaction. It contrasts this phenomenon with situations in which the initial reaction to discovery is suppressed, leading to a delayed traumatic reaction. It concludes with suggestions for the treatment of a delayed traumatic reaction, and suggestions designed to sensitize therapists to the possibility of a suppressed reaction to marital infidelity as a possible underlying issue in individual or couples therapy.     

The Relationship,If Any,Between Marriage and Infidelity

SUMMARY

Infidelity has been hypothesized to be caused by any number of factors, including unhappy marriages. The current article explores the myths about infidelity and its treatment. Advice is offered to those treating affairs, and to those interested in successful marriages.     

Cyber-Sex

Abstract

While percentages of extramarital sex (EMS) vary from study to study, it can be estimated that 50-60% of married men and 45-55% of married women engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their marriage and almost half come to therapy because of it. EMS appears in several different forms, only some of which are sexual in nature. Recently, couples are coming to therapy with a new type of affair: the Cyber-Affair. According to the President of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, this type of Internet infidelity has been greatly underestimated due to the Internet's current popularity as a technological advancement. In addition, healthcare professionals are often unfamiliar with the dynamics associated with the relatively new concept of cyber-affairs and the electronic process of “virtual cheating” and thus often do not consider the behavior as infidelity.

It is the purpose of this paper to explore this new phenomenon, the cyber-affair and to investigate how the ability to form romantic and sexual relationships over the Internet can sometimes lead to marital separation and divorce. In addition, the paper examines the factors involved in Internet infidelity, the unique problems associated with this type of affair, along with a discussion of the therapeutic considerations.     

The pathway to accepting derogatory ingroup norms: The roles of compartmentalization and legitimacy

ObjectivesThe current experiment was conducted among ice hockey fans, and brings together theories of intergroup relations and self and identity literature. It investigated if perceiving strong norms in favor of derogating against fans of outgroup teams, and engaging in these behaviors oneself, leads to an increased compartmentalization of these behaviors (i.e., such that they are restricted to a particular compartment within the self). This association was expected to be especially strong when derogatory behaviors are portrayed as illegitimate. We also explored whether this compartmentalization then flows on to vitality as a well-being indicator.Method and designIce hockey fans supporting a diversity of NHL teams were recruited (N = 116). The legitimacy of the derogatory behaviors was manipulated by making salient either: that these behaviors have harmful consequences for outgroup members (illegitimate condition) vs. that such behaviors can benefit the ingroup (legitimate condition).ResultsThe expected mediated model was supported among the entire sample. The association between engaging in the derogatory behaviors and their compartmentalization in the self was also moderated by the experimental manipulation: While participants in the illegitimate condition reported a positive link between engaging in these behaviors and their compartmentalization, participants in the legitimate condition did not show a significant association between these variables, suggesting no need for them to restrict these behaviors within themselves.ConclusionsResults are discussed in light of normative approaches, intergroup theories, and the self.     

GENDER, JEALOUSY, AND REASON

Abstract— Research has suggested that men are especially bothered by evidence of their partner's sexual infidelity, whereas women are troubled more by evidence of emotional infidelity. One evolutionary account (Buss, Larsen, Westen, & Semmelroth, 1992) argues that this is an innate difference, arising from men's need for paternity certainty and women's need for male investment in their offspring. We suggest that the difference may instead be based on reasonable differences between the sexes in how they interpret evidence of infidelity. A man, thinking that women have sex only when in love, has reason to believe that if his mate has sex with another man, she is in love with that other. A woman, thinking that men can have sex without love, should still be bothered by sexual infidelity, but less so because it does not imply that her mate has fallen in love as well. A survey of 137 subjects confirmed that men and women do differ in the predicted direction in how much they think each form of infidelity implies the other, proposing innate emotional differences may, therefore, be gratuitous.     

Upset in response to a child's partner's infidelities

The weight of existing evidence suggests that men display greater upset in response to a long‐term partner's sexual infidelity, whereas women display greater upset in response to a partner's emotional infidelity. This sex difference was first hypothesized by evolutionary psychologists, who argued that the difference may reflect sex‐differentiated evolved psychological design. Some socialization theorists, in contrast, have argued that the difference may be attributable to sex‐differentiated socialization practices. A. Fenigstein and R. Peltz ( 2002 ) collected data from parents of undergraduates about upset in response to a child's partner's infidelities and found that both sexes report greater upset in response to a son's partner's sexual infidelity and in response to a daughter's partner's emotional infidelity. The key variable therefore is the sex of the child, as predicted from a heuristic application of an evolutionary perspective, and not the sex of the parent, as predicted from a heuristic application of one socialization perspective. We report a replication of these findings using data collected from retirees with an average age of about 70 years who have at least one son and one daughter and most of whom have grandchildren. Copyright © 2004 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Relationship power and betrayal experience as predictors of reactions to infidelity

Explanations for sexual infidelity have been dominated by an evolutionary psychological theory of jealousy that finds its strongest support in research that employs a forced-choice hypothetical infidelity paradigm wherein participants imagine experiencing infidelity and choose whether sexual or emotional infidelity would be more distressing. Robust gender differences that support evolutionary psychological perspectives are consistently found using this paradigm, but recent work suggests that gender differences may be attenuated among actual infidelity victims. However, no research has used the forced-choice paradigm to compare real and hypothetical infidelity. This study uses this paradigm to compare reactions to imagined dating infidelity to those of infidelity victims. No gender differences are observed in response to the forced-choice question among victims of infidelity. Gender differences among participants who imagined infidelity are partially mediated by level of relationship power. Difficulties with the hypothetical forced-choice paradigm and implications for the evolutionary psychological theory of jealousy are discussed.