“I think you understand me.” Studying the associations between actual,assumed, and perceived understanding within couples

The current study examined the associations between actual, assumed, and perceived understanding and partners’ levels of dyadic adjustment. One hundred fifty-two couples provided questionnaire data (assumed and perceived understanding), participated in a videotaped conflict interaction, and in a video-review task to assess actual understanding (empathic accuracy). The data were analyzed by means of the Actor-Partner Interdependence Model. The results suggest that (a) some aspects of how well someone assumes that (s)he has understood the partner during a preceding conflict interaction were positively associated with his/her own objective level of understanding (actor effect), (b) that someone's perception of how understood (s)he feels was not associated with the partner's objective level of understanding (partner effect), and (c) perceived understanding, but not actual understanding, was positively associated with dyadic adjustment.     

Does accuracy matter? A review of the consequences of accurate personality impressions as a function of context and content

What are the implications of seeing others as they see themselves? That is, does viewing others accurately have consequences, positive or negative, to relationship evaluations (e.g., liking)? To address this, the current article provides a comprehensive review of the personality accuracy literature and discusses related work from the self-verification and empathic accuracy domains. We specifically explore whether the consequences of accurate perceptions could be influenced by two key categories of moderators: the context of the impression (e.g., high vs. low stakes) and content of the impression (e.g., desirability of traits). Lastly, we discuss future directions to aid our understanding of this question.     

A Psychometric Study of 150 Adult Delinquents

Abstract

To test the hypothesis that cooperative and competitive behavior strategies affect attitudes toward success, 147 male and female adults (age range 16 to 51 years) wrote stories in response to a modification of Horner's (1972) success cue and completed a personality trait list for their cue figure. Subjects were given one of four cues that varied sex of cue figure (Anne vs. John) and behavioral strategy (cooperative vs. competitive). Both measures yielded differences as a function of the strategy variable, with significantly more positive stories written in response to the cooperative strategy cue than to the competitive strategy cue (p < .001), and significant differences between the strategy cues on 26 of 40 personality traits. Although sex differences were predicted, no differences were found as a function of sex of subject or sex of cue figure.     

Divorce Therapy in Context

Abstract

Partners trying to decide whether to continue or end their marriage rely on the expertise of therapists to help them evaluate their alternatives. Research on what predicts divorce and what consequences divorce has for parents and children is reviewed so therapists are informed in the guidance they give clients. Attention is given to the environmental context of marriage as well as its interior quality. Implications for therapists doing divorce therapy in the context of a “pro-marriage” climate are also discussed.     

小学儿童混合情绪理解的发展研究*

旨在探究小学阶段儿童的混合情绪理解发展状况。以能够引发儿童混合情绪的经典故事情景为材料,对小学1-6年级242名儿童采用半结构式访谈法和测验法进行实验,结果表明:小学儿童混合情绪理解水平存在显著的年龄效应,呈现出随年龄增大混合情绪理解水平逐渐提高的发展趋势。对他人和对自身混合情绪理解差异显著,对他人混合情绪的理解是对自身混合理解的基础,同性质和不同性质(冲突)混合情绪的理解能力存在显著差异。不同性质(冲突)混合情绪的理解能力发展较晚。因此,混合情绪理解能力在小学阶段快速发展,呈现出年龄、理解的对象、情绪的性质三个方面的显著差异。     

Couple disagreement: Inevitable and healthy? Belgian and Japanese conceptions

“Couples who argue together, stay together” is a popular English saying suggesting the necessity of disagreement for a healthy and stable romantic relationship. The present study explores whether Belgian and Japanese participants similarly view couple disagreement as a necessity, and whether conceptions of disagreement have implications for partners' ideas of how to deal with disagreement. We conducted four focus groups in each culture and analyzed them using thematic analysis. The findings suggested that Belgian participants thought that partners' needs unavoidably clash. They thus saw disagreement as inevitable. In contrast, Japanese participants thought of disagreement as avoidable. To avoid disagreement, they reported that they adjusted to and accepted the differences of their partner. Consistent with these respective conceptions of disagreement, Belgian participants highlighted the importance of addressing disagreement through open communication, while Japanese participants reported to frequently engage in indirect forms of communication such as mindreading. The differences in Belgian and Japanese conceptions of disagreement reflect different cultural notions of a healthy relationship, with Belgian partners valuing independence and Japanese emphasizing interdependence in the relationship. We discuss the implications of existing research on couple disagreement, which often starts from assumptions closer to the English saying and the Belgian conceptions of disagreement.     

Why Do People Stay in Hateful Relationships? The Concept of Malignant Vindictiveness

Why do couples remain in hateful relationships? This article defines theoretically rigorous ways of viewing partners who stay together despite severe strife. A case presentation shows how a relationship of two people, each with his or her character structure and idealized image, creates interpersonal conflict because of opposing demands each makes on self and other. Such conflict requires radical defensive measures including alienation, idealization, and externalization that increase tensions. A vicious circle of malignant vindictiveness cements the relationship. Increasing implacability in the relationship is understood through Horneyan categories of interlocking idealized images, hurt pride reactions, and the externalizing process.

     

老年人夫妻冲突一般特点及其与依恋的关系

采用开放式与封闭式问卷相结合的方式对27对60～84岁(M=69.93±5.89)的老年夫妻测查了老年人夫妻依恋风格及夫妻冲突的特点。结果表明,老年人夫妻冲突具有低频率、低强度、较低的威胁性、较高的建设性及易解决的特点;不同依恋风格的老年人夫妻冲突的强度、频率、冲突解决程度均不存在显著差异;在冲突性质上,安全型依恋风格老年人感知到的冲突建设性显著高于不安全型依恋风格个体,但其感知到的冲突威胁性无显著差异;老年夫妻对冲突的感知存在冲突知觉一致性效应。     

夫妻价值观相似性、沟通模式与婚姻质量的关系*

夫妻相似性和婚姻质量的关系一直是婚姻适应研究领域关注的重要课题,然而至今并没有得到一致的结论,而且两者间的作用机制也没有得到充分探讨。为此,从澳门选取132对夫妻,采用夫妻独立作答的方式,对他们的价值观,沟通模式和婚姻适应进行测查,以探讨夫妻价值观的相似性和差异,以及沟通在夫妻价值观相似性和婚姻质量两者关系间的作用。经t检验、阶层内相关和结构方差模型分析,结果发现:(1)夫妻在价值观方面存在相似性,其实夫妻的相似性明显多于随机配对的夫妻;也存在差异,其中丈夫比妻子更看重权力和成就;(2)丈夫报告的双方回避沟通明显多于妻子,但其报告的婚姻满意度和情感表达明显好于妻子;(3)研究不仅验证了以往研究结果,即夫妻越相似,其婚姻质量就越高,而且进一步发现这种关系通过沟通起作用。最后,研究得出结论,伴侣选择应是相似和互补结合的产物,而沟通是夫妻关系的基石。     

Topic-relevant cognition and empathic accuracy in laboratory discussions of safer sex

Abstract

The present study sought to identify some of the mechanisms that make safer sex such a difficult topic to talk about. Fifty six dating couples participated in a laboratory study in which the opposite-sex members of two pairs of couples engaged in two discussions of safer sex (or a control topic), each time with a different opposite-sex partner (their own dating partner or an opposite-sex stranger). The results indicated that discussions of safer sex evoke in dating partners a high level of perceived goal-incompatibility, difficulty maintaining one's focus on the topic, and difficulty in reading the other partner's thoughts and feelings. These reactions did not occur in response to the control topic. This initial demonstration study is important with respect to the processes it implicates, but further clarification is needed regarding the specific real-life conditions in which these processes do, and do not, occur.     

Correlates of professional versus organizational withdrawal cognitions

Using a more rigorous research design than previous studies, results generally supported the discriminant validity of professional withdrawal cognitions (PWC) versus organizational withdrawal cognitions (OWC). The sample consisted of 226 medical technologists tracked over a five year period, and the research design used pre- and post-measures of PWC and OWC. Attitudinal professional commitment had a stronger negative relationship to subsequent PWC versus OWC, while gender discrimination and organizational support had stronger relationships to subsequent OWC versus PWC.     

Family Business-Owning Couples: An EFT View into Their Unique Conflict Culture

This study expands the understanding of business-related tensions within business-owning couples through an interdisciplinary literature review, through a longitudinal data analysis, and through application of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to a case study. Business-owning husbands and wives in this study reported that conflicts related to work/family life balance and unfair distribution of resources (money, time, energy) between family and business systems create the greatest tensions. Low family functionality, wives' role dissatisfaction, transfer of resources from family to business, and husbands' identification of wives as major decision makers were all predictors of wives' higher tension levels. Husbands reported increased tension when wives worked more hours in the business. Three elements of EFT are applied to a family business couple.     

Work and Family Conflict: An Often Overlooked Issue in Couple and Family Therapy

Despite the systemic interaction, family-based journals, as well as intake and assessment forms most frequently used by couple and family therapists (CFTs), have given a limited amount of attention to the issue of work and family conflict. Moreover, a review of the literature indicated that many CFTs perceive themselves as inadequately prepared to assist couples and families with work and family conflict. Addressing this apparent limitation, the present study identified various work stressors that contributed to family conflict (WFC), and the family stressors that contributed to work conflict (FWC). Results revealed significant predictors of WFC and FWC. Implications for CFTs and recommendations for changes in academic training and supervision are provided. The authors would like to thank Dr. Gary Bischof, Associate Professor of Counselor Education and Marriage and Family Therapy program Director at Western Michigan University, for editorial comments made on a previous version of this paper.