The kiss of the porcupines: From attributing responsibility to forgiving

How to maintain relatedness in the context of being harmed by others, especially an intimate partner, is a fundamental human challenge. Forgiveness provides a way of meeting this challenge as it removes the barrier to relatedness caused by a transgression. But scientists know very little about forgiveness and its role in close relationships. This article therefore offers a conceptual analysis of forgiveness. The analysis then serves as the foundation for an organizational framework that can be used to study forgiveness in close relationships. Finally, preliminary data are presented that speak to some of the issues introduced in the article.     

Religion and the forgiving personality

Forgiveness is a concept with deep religious roots. It is also a basic social and psychological phenomenon. In this article, we explore the links between forgiveness and religion by surveying how they are linked in the major monotheistic world religions, and how they appear to be linked empirically. In attempting to account for the current body of empirical findings, we propose four potential substantive and methodological explanations that should be explored in future studies. Because the concept of forgiveness is (a) both spiritual and social-psychological in nature, and (b) possibly linked to some measures of human health and well-being (concerns that have traditionally been of interest to both reseachers in personality and researchers in religion), the concept of forgiveness could be an important common ground for future research on the interface of religion and personality.     

Lay perspectives on the costs and risks of forgiving

In this study, we directly investigated, for the first time, lay perspectives on the costs and risks of forgiveness (N = 130). Participants described previously experienced situations where forgiveness was costly, from the perspective of a grantor, a recipient, and as a third‐party observer. They also identified occasions when they thought it would be risky to forgive. We employed complementary quantitative and thematic analysis strategies to examine prevailing themes. The vast majority of participants believed forgiveness was risky, with approximately two thirds reporting both actual and vicarious experiences of costly forgiveness. An overarching theme was that power relations are particularly relevant to laypeople when they consider the costs and risks of forgiving.     

Religious involvement and the forgiving personality

The relationship between religious involvement and forgiveness was assessed in three samples of Western Europeans living in a social environment dominated by the Catholic tradition. The samples comprised nonbelievers/nonattendees, believers/nonattendees, believers/regular attendees, and religious people. Age and religious involvement were shown to affect the willingness to forgive in an interactive way: The effect of religious involvement was stronger for the elderly group. We also found that what made the difference in the willingness to forgive was mainly the social commitment to religion (attendance in church and the taking of vows), not mere personal beliefs. In addition, age and religious involvement were found to affect blockage towards forgiveness in an additive way.     

Third-party forgiveness: (not) forgiving your close other's betrayer

Building on attribution and interdependence theories, two experiments tested the hypothesis that close friends of victims (third parties) are less forgiving than the victims themselves (first parties). In Experiment 1, individuals imagined a scenario in which either their romantic partner or the romantic partner of a close friend committed the identical relationship offense. Third parties were less forgiving than first parties, a phenomenon we termed the third-party forgiveness effect. This effect was mediated by attributions about the perpetrator's intentions and responsibility for the offense. In Experiment 2, first and third parties reported an actual offense and their subsequent unforgiving motivations. The third-party forgiveness effect was replicated and was mediated by commitment to the perpetrator. Perpetrator apology or amends to the victim increased third-party forgiveness. Future third-party research can expand interpersonal forgiveness research beyond the victim-perpetrator dyad.     

Does forgiving in a collectivistic culture affect only decisions to forgive and not emotions? REACH forgiveness collectivistic in Indonesia

According to some theorising, in collectivistic societies, forgiveness is mainly enacted to maintain relationships, not engender emotional transformation. This present study was designed to explore whether forgiveness affects decisional and emotional forgiveness in Indonesia, a country categorised as collectivistic. The evidence-based REACH Forgiveness psychoeducational group intervention was adapted to collectivistic culture (REACH forgiveness collectivistic; REACH-FC), and its efficacy was assessed in a randomised controlled trial. Undergraduates in Indonesia (N = 97; 24 male; 73 female; ages 16–21) were randomly assigned within a 2 × 3(S) quasi-experimental repeated-measures design comparing immediate treatment (IT) and waiting list (WL) conditions [Condition (IT, WL) × Time ([S] 3 time points). Harmonious value, a personality variable assessing the strength of participants' desire for group harmony, was the covariate. The condition × time (S) interactions for both decisional and emotional forgiveness were significant, challenging some previous literature. Clearly, not all forms of collectivism have similar effects when individuals and communities deal with transgressions.     

When and how forgiving benefits victims: Post‐transgression offender effort and the mediating role of deservingness judgements

For all the well‐established benefits of forgiveness for victims, when and how is forgiving more likely to be beneficial? Three experimental studies found that forgiving is more likely to be beneficial when victims perceived reparative effort by offenders such that offenders deserve forgiveness. Deservingness judgements were elicited by manipulating post‐transgression offender effort (apology/amends). When offenders apologized (Study 1; recall paradigm) or made amends (Study 2; hypothetical paradigm) and were forgiven—relative to transgressors who did not apologize/make amends but were still forgiven—forgiving was beneficial. These findings—that deserved forgiveness is more beneficial for victims than undeserved forgiveness—were replicated when forgiving itself was also manipulated (Study 3). Moreover, Study 3 provided evidence to indicate that if a victim forgives when it is not deserved, victim well‐being is equivalent to not forgiving at all. Of theoretical and practical importance is the mediating effect of deservingness on relations between post‐transgression offender effort and a victim's personal consequences of forgiving.     

Forgiveness and mental health variables: Interpreting the relationship using an adaptational-continuum model of personality and coping

The present paper uses an adaptational-continuum model of personality, based on Ferguson’s (2001) health psychology model integrating Eysenck personality factors and coping style, to provide a context for examining the relationship between forgiveness and mental health. Three hundred and twenty respondents completed measures of personality, coping style, forgiveness (forgiveness of self, others, likelihood, presence of positive forgiveness, absence of negative forgiveness), general health, stress, positive and negative affect and life satisfaction. Among respondents, all measures of forgiveness, bar one, load negatively on a neuroticism-coping factor. The remaining measure of forgiveness (presence of positive forgiveness) loaded on an extraversion-coping factor. The relationship of the neuroticism-coping-forgiveness factor was associated with poorer mental health, suggesting forgiveness is associated with better mental health within the context of this personality-coping factor. Significant positive relationships were found between the extraversion-coping-forgiveness factor and two measures of positive mental health outcomes (positive affect and life satisfaction) suggesting forgiveness is associated with some aspects of mental health within the context of this personality-coping factor. The present findings suggest that forgiveness, or failure to forgive, can be conceptualised within an adaptational-continuum model of personality.     

Leaps of faith: Is forgiveness a useful concept?

Using detailed clinical vignettes, the author argues that, despite the current idealization of the concept of forgiveness, the term has no place in psychoanalytic work, and there are some hazards to giving it one. Clinically, the concept of forgiveness is seductive, implying that there should be a common outcome to a variety of injuries, stemming from different situations and calling for different solutions. Every instance of what we call forgiveness can be seen to serve a different defensive function. While the conscious experience of what is called forgiveness is sometimes confused with the unconscious process of reparation, the two can only be described at different levels of psychic life. Despite the fact that in ‘the unconscious’ there is no such thing as forgiveness, the term has an adhesive quality in our thinking that also blunts the analyst'’s appreciation of the aggressive components in the work. In a final vignette, the author illustrates an analytic outcome that has the appearance of forgiveness, but is best understood as the complex result of the everyday work of analysis.     

Looking at the Bright Side: Forgiveness and Subjective Well-Being in Divorced Spanish Parents

Marriage dissolution might cause frustration, resentment and pain. Forgiveness is view as an adaptive reaction that has positive effects on post-divorce adjustment and coparenting; but much remains unknown about the place of forgiveness in the subjective well-being of divorced parents. The objective of the present study was to analyze in a multidimensional model the role played by forgiveness in post-divorce subjective well-being, empirically examining the relationships between time since divorce, affect (positive and negative), forgiveness and satisfaction with life in a group of Spanish divorced parents. Data were collected from 223 divorced Spanish parents (58.3 % mothers) aged 21–64 years, and who had 1–3 children. Results showed that forgiveness and time since divorce partially mediated the effect of positive affect on satisfaction with life: individuals with high levels of positive affect, over time, were more forgiving of their ex-spouses, which in turn enhanced their satisfaction with life. The present study complements the existing literature about the importance of forgiveness in post-divorce coparenting highlighting the place of forgiveness in the subjective well-being of divorced parents.     

The Prudential Value of Forgiveness

Most philosophers who discuss the value of forgiveness concentrate on its moral value. This paper focuses on the prudential value of forgiveness, which has been surprisingly neglected by moral philosophers. I suggest that this may be because part of the concept of forgiveness involves the forgiver being motivated by moral rather than prudential considerations. But this does not justify neglecting the prudential value of forgiveness, which is important even though forgivers should not be prudentially motivated. Forgiveness helps satisfy interests arising from the need for co-operation in such areas as epistemic life, where humans are interdependent. Forgiveness can restore epistemic relationships, and this has the prudential value of helping agents navigate their way through their environment. While the prudential value of forgiveness may be supplementary to its moral value, it would be a mistake to ignore this area of the debate. Exploring the prudential value of forgiveness enriches our understanding of the role that this practice plays in human life, and may contribute to explaining the origin of forgiveness.     

The function and role of forgiveness in working with couples and families: clearing the ground

Until recently, forgiveness has been a neglected concept in the family therapy literature. This is puzzling since conflict and its therapeutic management as it occurs in families and within couple relationships has been much discussed. On the other hand, forgiveness has been a foundational construct within religious and theological thought. This paper examines some of the dilemmas for the therapist about using forgiveness as a tool in family therapy. Definitions and meanings of forgiveness are discussed; a typology of different kinds of forgiveness is offered, and this is linked to an understanding of families in terms of their developmental progress as systems through a life cycle.     

Balancing Justice and Mercy

The concept of forgiveness is analyzed as a moral gesture toward the offender designed to help restore that individual's moral standing. Jewish sources on the conditions under which forgiveness is obligatory are explored and two contrasting positions are presented: one in which the obligation to forgive is conditional on the repentance of the offender and another in which people are required to forgive unconditionally. These two positions are shown to represent different ways of framing the offending behavior that rest, in turn, on different ways of balancing the need for justice and for mercy respectively. In the final analysis, Judaism's two contrasting attitudes toward forgiveness are rooted in different theological assumptions and different ways of construing the very goals of the moral life. The author points out the merits and shortcomings of both positions and concludes with the suggestion that the two complement each other in important ways.     

Experience of Parental Marital Dissolution Earlier in Life and the Disposition to Forgive Among Older Violent and Non-Violent Prisoners

The purpose of this study was to examine differences in self-reported dispositional forgiveness types among older male prison inmates who experienced parental separation/divorce earlier in life. Participants included a sample of N = 261 incarcerated men, aged 45 and older, residing in state-managed prisons in Oklahoma. IBM/SPSS 22.0 was used to examine mean differences across forgiveness of self, situation, and others. Significant mean differences were evident only for forgiveness of situation. In particular, significant differences emerged relative to depressive affect F (1, 192) = 19.90, p < .001, and social support F (1, 192) = 18.64, p < .001. After controlling for age, race, religiosity, depression, social support, perceived health, crime type, and parental separation/divorce, one significant interaction (crime type X parental separation/divorce) emerged, F (1, 192) = 4.42, p < .05. It appears that the disposition to forgive the situation among older prison inmates depends on criminal offender type as well as whether the older inmate experienced parental dissolution earlier in life. Implications for pastoral counseling programing and forgiveness therapy treatment for older male prison inmates who experienced parental separation/divorce earlier in life are discussed.     

The Impossible Demand of Forgiveness

Abstract

Drawing on Jacques Derrida’s work, I argue that neither of the two standard accounts of forgiveness offer an adequate understanding of forgiveness. Conditional accounts insist on specifying the conditions an offender needs to satisfy in order to count as deserving of forgiveness. I argue that such accounts not only render forgiveness unintelligible (since forgiveness is intelligibly offered only to the offender qua offender), but also dissolve the ethical decision forgiveness demands of us. Unconditional accounts promise to do justice to both by insisting that forgiveness is a freely granted gift offered to the guilty as guilty. But I argue that when pressed to justify why one should forgive unconditionally and how one avoids the threat of condoning, they typically fall back onto the conditionalist’s ground and lose the electivity of forgiving. I conclude by arguing that genuine forgiveness would have to be purely unconditional but could never appear as such.     

Tradition religieuse et capacité de pardon

Forgiveness is a fundamental ingredient of everyday life. This article is intended to present, in a synthetic way, a number of recent works having empirically determined the relationship between religious tradition and forgivingness. To forgive is basically to give something to someone. For/give is the equivalent of the latin per/donare. Forgiveness is the gift of one's right to resentment after having been the victim of an offense. Forgiveness has been empirically investigated in two ways. The first approach specifically considered forgiveness as a possible answer to a given situation. The second approach considered forgiveness as a philosophy of life, as a habit; that is, as a personality trait. The studies reported in this article illustrate this second approach. A three-factor model of forgivingness is presented: lasting resentment, sensitivity to the circumstances of the offence, and unconditional forgiveness. It is shown that this model nicely fit empirical data from samples of persons grown up either in the Buddhist tradition, or in the Christian tradition, or in the Hindu tradition. It is also shown that among people grown up in the Muslim tradition this model must be adjusted to reflect the unique character of this tradition: Islam is both a religious and a political tradition. In brief, people whose spiritual references are either Buddhist or Christian or Hindu must be aware that if a conflict, even a minor one, opposes them to Muslims, a particular attention will be attributed to their apologizing behavior and to their efforts to repair the wrong committed. Forgiveness will probably be granted only after the offender has satisfied a number of conditions. Symmetrically, people whose references are Muslim must be aware that, if a conflict opposes them to people grown up in the other traditions, all the circumstances of the situation will probably play a more or less similar role (intention, apology, social proximity) and that forgiveness may be unconditionally granted. Unconditional forgiveness exists, at least in theory, in these traditions: it is not regarded as a weakness or as an immoral disposition.     

Adult Life Satisfaction and the Role of Forgiveness After Childhood Sexual Abuse: Evidence from a Seventh‐day Adventist Cohort

Negative physical and mental health outcomes are well documented for those who experience child sexual abuse. We explore the role of three types of dispositional forgiveness (of self, of others, and by God) as effect modifiers of the child sexual abuse and life satisfaction relationship. In 2010–2011, a sample of 5,506 Seventh‐day Adventists reported levels of forgiveness, life satisfaction, and whether or not they had experienced sexual abuse in each of the two age periods (younger than 8 years and 8–18 years). Reported experience of childhood sexual abuse lowered life satisfaction regardless of when the child sexual abuse occurred. Forgiveness of self and of others were associated with higher life satisfaction regardless of sexual abuse exposure. Feeling forgiven by God was associated with increased life satisfaction indirectly through forgiveness of self and others. However, for those abused later in childhood, the association of abuse with reduced life satisfaction was weaker for those who felt forgiven by God. These findings suggest forgiveness by God operates primarily through forgiveness of self (and others) but can also buffer the effects of childhood sexual abuse on later life satisfaction when the abuse occurs in childhood/adolescence.     

Impact of Conflict on Mental Health in Northern Ireland: The Mediating Role of Intergroup Forgiveness and Collective Guilt

The aim of the present research was to investigate the mediating role of group-level forgiveness and guilt in the relationship between victimhood (the extent to which the conflict affected an individual's life), exposure to violence (the level of violence in their area of residence), and group identity on the one hand, and mild psychiatric morbidity on the other. Specifically the study focused on the psychological impact of the ethnopolitical conflict in Northern Ireland, utilizing people's identification with either the Catholic or Protestant community. Our results revealed that intergroup forgiveness mediated the relationship between both victimhood and group identification, as predictors, and mild psychiatric morbidity. Collective guilt, on the other hand, mediated the relationship between both exposure to violence and group identification, as predictors, and intergroup forgiveness. Overall this study shows that forgiveness and collective guilt can act as mediators in the relationship between impact of ethnopolitical conflict and mental health, at the group level, and thus demonstrates their centrality to the reconciliation process. Implications for intergroup reconciliation initiatives in Northern Ireland are discussed.     

How is Self‐Forgiveness Possible?

The idea of self‐forgiveness poses a serious challenge to any philosopher interested in giving a general account of forgiveness. On the one hand, it is an uncontroversial part of our common psychological and moral discourse. On the other, any account of self‐forgiveness is inconsistent with any general account of forgiveness which implies that only the victim of an offense can forgive. To avoid this conclusion, one must either challenge the particular claims that preclude self‐forgiveness or offer an independently plausible account of self‐forgiveness. I deploy both strategies in this article, explaining what self‐forgiveness is and how it is possible.     

Teaching and Learning Forgiveness: A Multidimensional Approach

Abstract. This essay seeks to illumine the teaching and learning of the practice of forgiveness by relating a range of theoretical perspectives (theological, psychological, and socio‐cultural) to the process of cultivating the practical wisdom needed for forgiveness. We discuss how a Trinitarian “epistemology of the cross” might lead one to a new way of perceiving life’s constraints and possibilities and relate this theological epistemology to three psychological approaches for understanding forgiveness – a narrative approach, object‐relations theory, and consciousness development theory. Our discussion of these theoretical perspectives is explicitly related to the practice of teaching and learning forgiveness, outlining learning activities we have used in a course we taught (which ranged from case studies and film to lectures and discussions based on close readings of biblical and theological texts) and reporting highlights in our students’ work.